I've Run Away

NATIONAL RUNAWAY SWITCHBOARD
1-800-621-4000

If you have run away from home, you're in a tough situation and you need to try to make it better quickly. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to try to resolve problems with your family, get your schooling back on track, and avoid even worse situations like drugs, prostitution, or threats to your safety.

First of all, make sure you have a safe place to go TONIGHT. If you're still in your hometown, you may have friends you can stay with. Wherever you are there's likely to be a homeless shelter, a community home for battered women or teens, a church, someplace you can go to get inside out of the weather and avoid some of the biggest dangers. Take care of "tonight" before you worry about he rest of your life. Survival as a runaway is often a day-to-day thing.

Once you're somewhere safe, start thinking about your options. What would it take for you to feel safe and welcome at home? If the answer is "nothing will make me go back there," then you need to think about foster care. Maybe you can get into a group home. The one thing you DON'T want to do is stay on the street. It might seem like you have lots of freedom now, but down the road your options will really be limited if you blow off school, get arrested, or get yourself hurt in a bad situation.

Information & Referrals

Do you know where to go to find the help you need? Do you have more questions than answers? Where do you find information that you can use?

The National Runaway Switchboard has over 200,000 resources that you can use. Their resource library includes thousands of different support groups, hotlines, and counseling centers, information about pursuing legal issues, medical questions, and drug treatment centers. They can help you find a shelter and they'll even call them with you to make the necessary arrangements.

Getting in Touch While On the Run

The National Runaway Switchboard can help you get a message to your parents even while you're on the run. Their services are confidential so they won't tell your parents any more than you want them to. There are two ways for you to contact your parents: Message Relay and Conference Calls.

If you are away from home, they can deliver a message to your parents for you. You give them the message and they'll call to deliver it. You can even ask them to leave a message for you in return. The rule is that the messages must be constructive. They won't help you tell your parents that you hate them or that you never plan on coming home. They WILL help you say how you're feeling and what you want to see happen. Runaways have left messages like, "I just want you to know that I'm okay. I hope we can work things out." and "I know this doesn't really help but I was really angry at you. I want to come home. Is that okay?" A Message Relay is sometimes a good way to start communicating with your parents. It's safe and it's simple. You can call 1-800-621-4000 to get a message delivered to your parents.

Conference calls only happen if you want them to. If you are on the run and feel ready to talk with your parents, the National Runaway Switchboard will help you call them. They will stay on the line with you and your parents and help you talk things out. Talking with your parents while you're away can be a hard thing to do and they are there to provide support. They try to help both you and your parents really talk about how you feel and what's happening at home. Conference calls should be productive on both a long and short-term basis. If you're ready to talk and would like some help, you can call 1-800-621-4000 and they'll help you make the call home.

Going Home

The National Runaway Switchboard administers a program for Greyhound Lines, Inc. that helps some runaways get home for free. To qualify, you must be a runaway from age 12 through age 21. Youth through 18 must be returning to a parent or legal guardian, and there has to be a verifiable runaway report filed with your hometown police department. For youth through age 21, going to an independent living facility in the vicinity of your hometown is also an option.

If you're thinking of running away, here are some questions to think about first:

What else can I do to improve my home situation before I leave?
What would make me stay at home?
How will I survive?
Is running away safe?
Who can I count on to help me?
Am I being realistic?
Have I given this enough thought?
What are my other options?
If I end up in trouble, who will I call?
When I return home, what will happen?

If you're going to try to resolve problems at home first, here are some communication tips for you and your family:

Set aside time to talk every day.
Don't expect your family to read your mind.
Be specific about your expectations and requests.
Have patience, good communication takes time and effort.
Brainstorm ideas before making a final decision.
Ask for input from all family members.
Write things down; make a list of changes you want to see.
Be willing to compromise.
Do fun things together.
Use community resources when you need help.