Singapore/KL Bangkok Stuttgart Washington DC Toronto Colorado Springs San Francisco

OK, finally, a little bit about the last stop on my trip: HONG KONG!!

Let me just say first that I really, really like Hong Kong, though as with the other cities, that may be due to the nice people I know there. Still, as I wrote the day I arrived, I felt very comfortable there, perhaps more so than in other cities, though that could be because I was staying in a familiar place.

I got to spend time with Tony and Max every day I was there and I am so happy for that. They are wonderful individuals and a wonderful couple as well. They make being gay in HK look easy, and I know that they have been very good for each other.

Max and I have been chatting on Facebook for months, starting soon after they started dating (actually, I had seen a pic of Max in one of Tony's photos and sent Tony a message asking about that really cute guy...little did I know they were starting to go out at the time). He's been a charmer online and that's because he's a charming guy in person. He went out of his way to make sure I was having a good time and he thought of sweet little details to make my trip a great one...thank you, honey!!

Both of them spent pretty much all their free time with me for 3 days, something I would not have asked anyone to do but which they offered and wanted to do. I tried to make sure they had some "alone time" in there as well. They took me to some cool restaurants they enjoy, brought me to a sex shop where the owner is hitting on Max, and took me to see some very cool sights along the harbor, as well as to a night market. I got to see parts of Hong Kong I hadn't seen before, and also bought some very fun underwear, so it was a great trip.

Monday morning I decided to be smart and go visit City University of Hong Kong because that's where Tony goes, and also, Stan had told me he did his semester abroad in college at CUHK. I took some photos and sent them to Stan, who didn't recognize them. I of course berated him for not recognizing his university. Only after returning to the US did I discover that Stan went to Chinese University of Hong Kong...the other CUHK. Um, my bad.

I was there for a holiday, "Handover Day" or something like that. It's the day Hong Kong went from British control back to Chinese control. They're not really big on celebrating that, but Beijing kinda makes them have fireworks and such.

Even though 4 countries in 3 weeks is a lot, and even though I was getting tired of hotels, I was very sorry to leave. I had a great time in Hong Kong and really owe Max and Tony a big thank you. I didn't see my other HK friends on this trip because I knew I'd only be there a short time and I wanted to stay flexible since they were making time for me. But NEXT time, the other boys need to watch out!

Labels: Friends, Travel

Work-wise, Singapore was a great opportunity for me. I met with government officials not only from there but also from other countries at their embassies. I also had a chance to visit a local university, which was very useful for a number of reasons, to be explained in a future post.

And I like Singapore. It's a city where I feel comfortable (the heat notwithstanding) and I've found people there to be pretty friendly. I also developed an affection for durian ice cream, though upon trying durian juice (and throwing half of it away) I'm pretty sure I won't be trying the fruit itself any time soon.

I did a bit of shopping in Singapore, met some very cool new people (hi Jonathan! hi Vic!), and generally had a good time, much of that due to DanielHenry, who was in town on a buying trip for work the first 4 days I was there.



We hung out together Sunday and Tuesday nights, and had lunch Wednesday before he returned to KL. It was great to finally get to talk with him face-to-face...he's a sweetheart and I'm glad I know him. And he was a big help to me, since the friend I was supposed to meet up with Sunday night told me, when I called him after arriving, "I have a wedding dinner to go to tonight."

This was the start of something that bugged me, and it almost left me with a bad taste of Singapore in my mouth, until I realized how to get over it. I've known this friend for a few years, though we only met in person when I first visited SG 2 years ago. He has said things to me that make me think I'm an important person in his life, and we made some specific plans for this visit, but when I showed up that was all changed with no warning. Part of that was due to work, which I understand but which also would have been nice to know. Since we had (I thought) such a close relationship, I had not made plans with other SG friends (or in most cases, had not even let them know I was coming) because I wanted to have the flexibility to work around my friend's schedule. What i didn't realize was, I didn't really fit into his schedule...even when he had time off, and wanted to go out, it was in a group rather than one-on-one (and I had some things to discuss with him privately, something I'd told him the day I arrived).

What bugged me wasn't so much that he didn't have time for me -- I don't expect people to rearrange their lives just because I'm flying into town -- but instead, it's that he told me one thing in advance, and then another when I arrived, and had I known how unavailable he would be, I would have made other plans. Even during the week he'd say "we'll do this, this, and this," but when the time for "this" came along, suddenly everything changed. I think the point where it really got to me was the night I wa supposed to go out with him and his friends after work and he called me and said "they're all still at work, no one can go out, so I guess we won't go." Um, I could still go out...but he didn't seem interested in spending any one-on-one time. I got the sense that he was saying what he thought I wanted to hear, and then reality was intruding at the last minute. Of course, all I wanted to hear was the truth, not false promises.

I try to be very careful what I say to people online because I know there's a good chance I'll be seeing these people in person someday (when you consider how many people around the world I've met in person because of their blogs, it's a little scary). But I'm realizing not everyone does that. For some, i think it's easy to say one thing to a person 10,000 miles away, but harder to follow up on it when they're right in front of you.

Though I was upset, I got over it, but that doesn't mean things are the same. While I still like my friend a lot, I am recognizing the limitations of that friendship, something I'll keep in mind the next time I come over.

And the next time, I'll let other people know I'm coming.

But at least I got to spend more time getting to know DanielHenry!

Labels: Blogging, Friends, Life, Travel

Even though I've been home nearly 2 weeks I still haven't wrapped up all my tales from my Asia trip. So, let me start with a little about Kuala Lumpur.

As I've noted before, I felt very, very welcome here. The guys (and gal) I have met are totally amazing, they are the friendliest people you will ever know, and they are doing a great job of being "out and proud" (or at least, living their lives with as much fun as possible). Even though I was working and my schedule was changing on a daily basis, folks were very flexible and scheduled their own lives around mine so we could spend time together. I am deeply in debt to David for showing me such a great time during the week, and I was so happy to see Eddie on the weekends -- and to have him go out with the KL boys, despite some shyness on his part -- that I can hardly express it. For these lovely gents to take so much time out of their schedules just to spend time with me was a wonderful gift.

It goes without saying that I was thrilled to see William and Cheryl and Jason and Alex during the week...adding quite a bit of time to their evening commute just to have dinner, or taking time away from work (which I know was a hardship :P) to meet for lunch, was very cool of them. Saturday night I got to see some KL nightlife, and see KL itself from the nearby hills, and more importantly, get to see Jason Jr and Paul and Alvin, and YAY for that!! That was a late night, followed by an early morning rush to the airport train, and it was lots of fun.

That night I also meet Froggy for the first time, after reading his blog and hearing about him from others for months...what a charmer he is! During the week I also met up briefly with Ash (and his brother, Aidan), whom I've known on Fridae for 3 years. Another friend, whom I didn't think I was going to get to meet, popped up at just the right time:



DanielHenry had dropped offline for a while and I thought we wouldn't be able to meet, but things change, and suddenly there he was. He'd been keeping a low profile because a big project had been taking his attention and he wanted to focus on it...out of respect for his privacy I didn't mention to anyone that he and I had met, but when he sent this photo this week I asked and he said it was OK to say something about it. Not only did I get to see him here, we also ran around Singapore together the following week while we were both there for work. So YAY for meeting DanielHenry!!

I went to a couple movies in KL, which doesn't seem like a big deal, but I found it interesting because of the differences between here and the US. The idea of reserved seating for a movie...cool! And of course, when I was a little kid and watching Get Smart reruns on TV, it never occurred to me I'd someday be watching Maxwell Smart with Chinese and Malay subtitles.

I've been asked if I'd want to live in KL, and the truth is, I don't know. My only experience there is as a visitor, and mostly as a tourist, and of course that's a lot different from living there every day. On the other hand, I know some really great people there, and that would make the experience wonderful. So that's an idea I'll keep in the back of my head for the future.

For now, though, I'll just pop in and say hello whenever I have the chance.

Labels: Friends, Movies, Travel

After a couple months of waiting, with some delays thank to the Dragon Boat race delay in May, Stan and I finally made it to New York for a weekend. He’d been here before, though not on a weekend, and hadn’t been here since January or so, so it was about time for both of us.

We took the bus up Friday night and I’m really thinking I’d be willing to pay more for the train. The train’s not perfect, of course, and does sometimes run late, but at least it’s a bit more reliable, and faster, plus you have more legroom and can get up and move around. Plus, the bathroom’s nicer.

Anyway, we had a hotel in the theater district and after getting there and freshening up and catching a bit of a Seinfeld episode (since we were in New York, that made it ironic, or something) we headed out to The Web (of course) to go dancing. Friday nights are usually very fun there and it was cool to see Stan's reaction to all the cuties, including one blond go-go dance he thought was fun to look at as well as the Latino go-go boy dancing while hanging upside down in a cage. Yeah, good times.

Saturday was a day for a little shopping, but we started with lunch at the Stardust Diner which, unbeknownst to us, had singing waiters. Also unbeknownst to us was the fact that our waitress was going to pull me up and into the act while she sang "I Can Hear the Bells" from Hairspray in the middle of the packed, 2-story restaurant. I went with it, and really got into it (dancing, reacting to her, dropping to one knee to "propose," kissing her on cue), and the crowd seemed to like it. Hey, Stan said I looked good, and I got some comments from others while leaving, so YAY, a new Broadway star is born.

We spent the afternoon doing a bit of shopping (at Uniqlo, of course, but also some other places) and we both picked up some cute pieces. Then we headed over to Christopher Street, which Stan had not seen before, and wandered past the sex shops until we reached the river (Stan also -- voluntarily -- went into a Starbucks). Then we headed back uptown to the hotel.

The evening started off with dinner at Sardi's, a Broadway classic. During the time earlier this year when Stan was between jobs he felt bad if I picked up the tab for things so I agreed that once he was working again he could take me somewhere nice and call it even. Well, Sardi's was that place, and we're definitely even. I had some wonderful crabcakes and he had curry chicken and for dessert we split a great mix of strawberries and meringue that was HUGE and which neither one could have finished alone.

Then we walked over to see Avenue Q. This was my third time -- the first in a couple years -- and the first time Stan had seen it. The show was fun as always and Stan really got into it. One thing that made it unique was that we sat on the center aisle in the second row...you could really see the details on the puppets, though it did take me longer to start ignoring the human puppeteers on stage. The show was a lot of fun and I'm really glad we went. Afterwards we went out, but not for very long, still being tired from Friday night...we were back to the hotel about 1:30. We started out at G Lounge, where we met up with a friend Stan hadn't seen since graduating from college, then we wandered back to Therapy, which was around the corner from the hotel. Of the two I think I preferred Therapy...more room, easier to talk, and a little less attitude. Just watch out for falling glassware!

Sunday we headed to Food Bar for brunch, only to discover its closed for renovation. At my suggestion we just got something at the place next door which was not so good...what we should have done was walk over to 7th Avenue, where there are tons of good restaurants and tons of cute people. But since I only ever go to Food Bar for Sunday brunch I didn't realize that. My bad.

Then we rolled up to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to see the superhero exhibition ("Fantasy and Fashion"). It was a really interesting look at the meaning underlying different superheroes and their costumes (and all this time you thought they just looked good without realizing they MEAN something). I never thought of the Incredible Hulk as a demonstration of male potency or Batman's utility belt as a defense again insecurity and fragility, but I can see that now.

We headed back to Chelsea to get dessert at Cafeteria, which Stan remembers as a setting for a Sex and the City episode. I had a Waffle Banana Split, which was actually a banana split arrayed on a warm waffle. I guess the title was a good description. It was yummy, but there was no way I could finish that. How do people order something like that after a meal???

And now we're on the bus headed home. I expect to get back to the condo by 11:30 tonight, which means Monday will be a tired day at work. But I am very glad I went...Stan is a wonderful travel companion, we had so much fun exploring and were making notes for future visits. And I needed a bit of New York again. I do indeed like that city.

Labels: Friends, Travel

I have SO much to write about this trip, and it will have to come out over the next week. For the moment, I'm on my way home...I left Hong Kong Wednesday afternoon, and I am now in Los Angeles where it is Wednesday afternoon again. There is a bomb threat here at the airport, a man outside Terminal 3 claims to have a bomb in his backpack and this has led to an evacuation there, but I am in Terminal 7 so all should be OK. Actually, I might have seen this guy earlier arguing with a policeman, and if it's the guy I think, then the cop who was talking to him just let him go, and now all this is happening. Though it could be a different guy. But I have a feeling...

This was a great trip. I needed it, for many reasons. And I need to get home, for one or two reasons.

Labels: Travel

Today I made it to the fourth and final city on my Asia tour. I left the hotel about 4:45am to catch my 6:40am flight to Hong Kong, and all I can say is yay for the upgrade to Business because I needed breakfast and a nice place to stretch out (as with my DC-Beijing flight, no one was next to me, so karma-wise, I'm probably not getting upgraded on my flight home Wednesday and will be sitting between two crying babies for 20 hours).

Got here with no problems, other than it being the rainy season and me with no umbrella. Touched base almost immediately with Max, the as-yet-unmet boyfriend of my friend Tony. Max and I have been chatting on Facebook for the last 6 months or so and the main reason behind my HK stopover is to meet him and see Tony (I have a couple other HK folks I want to see but am focusing on being flexible enough to fit around Tony and max's schedules). We made plans to meet for dinner so I headed out to check out the city and felt oddly at home here in a way I haven't in any of the other cities on this trip...in part perhaps because it's only been 9 months since my last visit, and also perhas because unlike my other stops, in HK I'm staying in the same hotel as last time.

Met up with the boys for Italian food (clam chowder pizza with extra cheese) and then we wandered down the street for cheesecake. Max still has to work tonight and Tony will spend Monday morning at his part time job so we called it a night a little before midnight. I have to say, Max was worth the wait! He is as wonderful in person as I thought he would be, a real charmer, and it's obvious how much they love each other (I haven't seen too many other male couples holding hands around HK!). Tony seems different than he was when I saw him last year, and its a fun change...he seems more relaxed and also more playful, and that seems more like the real him. We're all getting together early in the afternoon Monday and spending the day together.

A few quick points before I go to bed:

1. I have some things to write about Singapore, but they're coming after I think about them a bit

2. As I look at these entries I realize there are quite a few typos in them. The problem is that I'm using my new Asus EeePC netbook, which is fantastic as a traveling laptop, but which as a result has a tiny keyboard that's not designed for very efficient typing. Thus, some typos, and since I'm typically writing these entries late at night, I'm not in the mood to proofread. So it's not that I'm an idiot, it's just that I'm lazy.

3. After this, I think I'm done with big trips for a while. I'm having a blast but I'm a creature of routines and every week -- actually, every day -- has been different.

Labels: Friends, Travel

No, no, not just hot guys, but the temperature...hot!

What gets me isn't the heat. I mean, I've been in hotter places. What is surprising instead is the lengths to which guys here will go to look stylish. I have seen clothes here that would be far more appropriate in a cooler climate, things you would be likely to see in DC in the fall rather than near the equator in the summer. I'm talking things like fleece vests, light sweaters and jackets, and layers..oh my, I can't even imagine wearing another layer.

But oh, they look good doing it.

I know people like to call me a rice queen but I know some people who go far beyond me in those terms. I'm not sure they could hamdle being here with so many metrosexual guys...so many people here take great care with their appearance but they can't all be gay. A few of my friends might have trouble telling the difference and would hurt their neck by turning their head so much to look at everyone around them.

But still...fleece vests?

Pretty much wrapped up my work today. Still one person I may talk to Friday but much of that day will be spent consolidating my notes from this trip, particularly from this week's very productive meetings. Today I sent a few hours at a local university, in part related to my research project and in part related to some other things (good things) that I'm not quite ready to discuss in the blog because there are still a couple that don't know about those good things, but need to. I'll just leave that little hint there and then move on.

Last night I visited with my friend Allan who is volunteering as a youth group leader for a Buddhist prayer group. It was quite interesting to see him not only as a teacher but also as a spiritual man, I side of him Ive known about but never observed. I went out to his home (and in that part of town, I saw no other white boys on the bus, train, or street...interesting) and met his parents and the kids in his group and we were there for a couple hours. Then we headed to McDonald's (open 24 hours...and they deliver) an met up with some of his really good friends, a few of whom I've met before but one who was new to me. We had a really good conversation and before I knew it, it was almost 1:30am and my happy ass neededto get back to the hotel.

I'd had dinner with Allan earlier in the week, then met up with one of his friends later, but we haven't had a whole lot of time this week. He has a major event going on at work that takes up some of his evenings and he has been kind enough to let me tag along during his "regular" life so we can send time together, and that's cool because I get to see things I have not seen before. It's kind of like running around Bangkok with Raberd a couple years ago on an MTV gig. A neat way tospend some time in a foreign land.

Labels: Friends, Travel

Just a quick hello from Singapore. (the really new entry is the one below) Got in here today and met up with a friend this evening who took me around Orchard Road, including a small bit of shopping, some durian ice cream, shrimp-on-a-stick, and an unagai burger. hee hee Welcome to Singapore.

Labels: Friends, Travel

The week in Malaysia ended well. Friday I did some phone interviews and then got to meet William for lunch, and YAY for that because he's a very special friend and it's always so good to sit and chat with him for a couple hours. Later I met up briefly with a friend from Fridae, someone I‘ve been chatting with for 3 years as he moves all over the world, and finally we were both in the same place at the same time. Later, Eddie came over for dinner and we got some good Chinese food, and I learned that in Malaysia, when the restaurant says they close at 10pm, they don't mean they close the doors to new customers but still keep serving the ones already in the restaurant...instead, they mean "get out." Still, we had some yummy food...I think I actually had General Tso's Chicken, though of course they don't call it that.

Saturday was a day for me to sleep late, then I got to try something I’d been waiting all week to try: J. Co. Donuts. For some reason I’ve been hearing a lot about these donuts and was determined to try them this week, to see if they’re worth queuing up for 45 minutes for. Fortunately we didn’t have to wait that long, but they were indeed yummy. Eddie and I each got three; mine were almonds and white chocolate, chocolate crunch, and white chocolate covered-and-filled. Oh, and when I got a coffee, I think the guy behind the counter liked me because he handed me a glazed donut Or maybe they do that for everyone. Anyway, in case you lost count, that makes 4 donuts…and that kinda filled me up.

Afterwards Eddie and I went to see Get Smart, because he surprised me by being a big Steve Carrell fan and told me that was something he really wanted to see. I wanted to see it too because of course I always watched and loved the show as a kid, and I remember it well from my childhood in the 70s. Of course, I don’t remember it with Malay and Chinese subtitles.

Saturday night was party night with the bloggers. Eddie agreed to go despite being kinda shy about meeting all these guys I’d been telling him about, though of course he blogs too so he should be included in such things. Alex and Jason came to pick us up and brought Jason Jr with them, and Froggy -- whom I hadn’t met before and who is an absolute doll -- linked up with us at the hotel. Off we went to an Indonesian restaurant which offered up some quite tasty dishes I’ll need to look for at the Indonesian place near my home in DC. Dr Paul and Alvin joined us there and Paul, who can handle anything I think, ordered a cow brain for dinner. I am pretty god about trying to new things but I drew the line at chewing on something that might think about me eating it.

Afterwards we rolled up to Lookout Point, a new destination that offers amazing views of KL (pics to follow, but as I’m writing this I still have work to do and don’t have time to deal with the camera and Picasa and Facebook and such). After a nice time at the café there we came back down the mountain to Marketplace, a new club for people like us. David joined us there, coming back to KL after working all day, the poor guy…he’d had a hard day and I really appreciated him coming back to see more one last time (and also bring some great new eyeglass frames for me to try…he’s going to make up 3 pair and send them to me YAY!!). Frankie joined us after appearing as a sexy bunny at another party, so we had most of the folks I met last year, minus Sam and Daniel who were a bit too tired to come play There was some drinking (Eddie got very tipsy) and dancing and then I called it an early evening around 1 as I knew it would be an early morning for me and unlike the rest of the boys, I really do need my beauty sleep.

This trip was great, and as always I was so happy to see all these great guys. Alex and Jason took good care of me with dinners and planning parties and such and were checking up on me all week. William got back from a weekend trip and immediately made time to get together. Cheryl arranged a really nice dinner at which I had my only non-Asian food of this trip so far (donuts apparently are originally from Indonesia, so they count as Asian food!). My dear dear friend Eddie took care of me on my first day there and again at the end, making sure I could enjoy the time after my work was done. And David, whom I’ve been getting to know better online the last few months after an all-too-brief meeting last fall, really opened up to me in a way that made me feel like a good person, and also arranged his time off this week so he could keep me from getting bored during my down time (and even came back when some meetings fell through and I suddenly found myself with nothing scheduled during the day). I am really lucky to have some very special people in my life in KL, something I wouldn’t have imagined only a year ago.

So, yeah…a great trip once again. And yes, I got a lot of work done, too. But that’s not worth blogging about.

Labels: Friends, Travel

How one loses a camera in a bright orange bag I don't know but I did indeed lose my Casio Exlim. I think I left it in a restaurant last night but friends called them today and I went back this evening and they swear they never found it. It's not so much losing the hardware that bugs me (though I could have done without buying a replacement, which I have already done), it's that first, I hate the feeling of frustration when you don't know the answer to a question like "what happened" and second, I hadn't downloaded my Bangkok pics and I had some cool photos of Raberd and his friends. Grrrrr....

So attention KL-ians: be prepared for some photo-taking Saturday night. But also please help me keep an eye on the silly thing.

Labels: Travel

(note: I'm adding a bunch of posts at once, which means there are a couple new ones below this one. Go read them first if you havent seen them yet. I'll wait.)

Because my meetings with the local government got cancelled I had nothing scheduled today. Fortunately, my friend David arranged his days off to have some time while I'm here so we spent today hanging out. We visited Pavillion shopping center, a nice hgh-end place that opened just days after I left last year, and I picked upa few things for folks back home. We had a great lunch at Crystal Jade in Lot 10 where, proving I am not really Malaysian, I did not take any photos of the food (but mmmmmmm, it was good!).

I'd met David last year of course, but he was working crazy hours and after my first night here we didn't see each other again. But I read his blog and since about January we've been talking a lot and getting to know each other better, and so it's nice to finally spend some time hanging out together

David is a photographer so we went down around KLCC and he did some photos of me, then because it is scary hot we headed inside to Coffee Bean and got some chilled drinks and talked for a while. We got to talking about some of my research and suddenly I found myself interviewing him regarding some aspects of my work that deal with Chinese culture in various countries (other friends be warned, I wll be posing some questions to you, too!). I think we ended up sitting there mor than 2 hours and it's quite likely that session was far more important than any of the "official" meetings I am having this week.

Later we headed out to Midvalley because it's one of those places people always blog about but I'd never been there. I had wanted to take him out for a belated birthday dinner so we headed out for Korean food and he helped me with my chopstick usage so now maybe Danny won't give me a hard time again when I get home. I gave him a small present I'd picked up, nothing fancy like the new lens his friends here gave him but something I think he will like.

I'll spend sometime Wednesday going over my notes and refining questions for a couple other intervie sessions this week, and will try to get in touch with an American here for a conference of interest to me which is at a hotel dow the street from mine...I should probably be participating in this conference but I hadn't heard of it before now, so I will just try to pick his brain about the important parts.

Labels: Friends, Travel

Got to KL today with no worries. Thai Airways has a nice lounge in Bangkok o had a little breakfast there then ate again on the plane. I ended up with only 90 minutes of sleep Saturday night because when Raberd returned me to the hotel the desk clerk said "oh, you didn't get your free Thai massage, let me send someone up." I figured a Thai massage was better than the 2 hours of sleep I would get so I let myself get twisted like a pretzel before catching a short nap.

Once in KL my friend Eddie came to meet me. Eddie lives and goes to school outside the city and is currently doing an internship with a company around there (I think it's just a way for the company to get some engineers working for them cheaply). Anyway, he's only off on weekends so he came in Sunday and will come back next Friday after work. We had a great dinner and spent a few hours getting caught up...it's not as if we don't talk when I'm back home, but stories always seem better whe told in person. Anyway, I have missed seeing Eddie so it was really god to reconnect.

Monday I had my first round of meetings with some of our government folks based here. That was very useful, as I'm comparing what our folks in-country say with what the people back in DC say to see if they match up (and so far, they do). My research is centered upon the US approach to this part of the world so it's good if everyone involved in it says the same things. Unfortunately, my eetings with the Malaysian government didn't work out, but I still have plenty of academics and NGOs to meet.

Monday night Jason and Alex picked me up for dinner and YAY for that. We spent about 4 hours together getting some really good Chinese food and drinking a few pots of tea. They are doing very well and looking cuter than ever and got me updated on folks here as well as sharing tales from some great travels over the last few months.

You know, it doesn't really feel like 9 months since I was last here. Once again these guys are making me feel incredibly welcome.

One unfortunate thing about this trip is that, since it's a business trip and my schedule is changing daily, I don't have the flexibility to see everyone I want. Ikanbills and I talked about him maybe coming to town from Penang but with my meetings and interviews changing everyday it was impossible for me to suggest a good time for that, so Iwill see him later this year. I also want to meet Nase but again, I think that is going to have to wait until my next visit because he is such a nice guy and I know I will want to spend quite a bit of time with him, and that time just doesn't exist on this trip. :(

Labels: Friends, Travel

If you asked me what I did during the day in Bangkok Friday I'd have trouble telling you. This puppy was wiped out by jet lag, so other than some underwear shopping (yay, Domon!) it's all a little hazy. But Friday night I met up with Linh (yes, my good friend from DC) who is here working in an internship with the UN. We went out to dinner at a restaurant I'd visited years ago, and we had fluffy catfish salad, which is his new favorite dish (or his favorite new dish). We decided to have an adventure so did some running around town, and we shall both return home with some tales.

He headed home around midnight as he was getting up early Saturday, but I stepped out to DJ Station for some dancing...I thought they closed at 1 so figured I'd just be there for a little bit but oh no, they stay open later on the weekends I guess and by 2:30 I finally decided it was time to walk back to the hotel.

Saturday night it was time to finally see Raberd again for the first time since September 2006 (he was out of town when I came through last year). We had a great dinner then went out to Balcony for drinks. This was followed by meeting his friends (a very cool bunch of guys)at 70s Club, which is a bar filled with locals rather than tourists and those who would chase them. I feel lots more cofortable in the local bars and I really appreciate feeling so welcomed by his friends. We then headd to Espresso (by DJ Station) for a little dancing before Raberd walked me bac to my hotel around 2am. Naturally, I had to get up at 5:30am to go to the airport. Bleh.

Raberd had been with MTV Thailand for about 2 years but has just moved on to a new job with a concert promoter. Still in the entertainment biz, still doing marketing, and still one of my favorite people in the world. The guy is classy, and sweeter than any candy you've ever had.

So yeah, good times in Bangkok, most of them taking place at night, but hey, isn't that when all the best stuff happens???

Labels: Friends, Travel

My trip to Asia got off to a rocky start. It started with an e-mail from United saying that my flight from DC to Tokyo had been delayed 90 minutes That wasn’t too bad, since I had 3 hours in Tokyo to make my connection to Bangkok, so all it really meant was that I’d have less time to freshen up in the Red Carpet Club (they have a really nice one in Tokyo, with showers and good food). But as I got to the Red Carpet Club at the airport in DC I got a call from United’s automated system telling me the flight was delayed an additional 90 minutes. This was not good because now I’d be arriving in Tokyo at the same time my connecting flight was due to depart. Ack!

Fortunately I was able to check right away with the United help desk, and it took half an hour to do, but they finally managed to rebook me on a flight through Beijing, with a 3-hour layover before going to Bangkok (and getting me to Bangkok a couple hours earlier than I was originally scheduled). They even managed to keep my upgrade, which means I had a very comfortable 13-hour flight, getting about 6-7 hours of sleep. The big question would be, could they pull my bag off the Tokyo flight and get it onto the Beijing flight? As I write this I’m on the plane so I still don’t know.

The real trouble came in Beijing. I was switching to Thai Airways, which is a nice airline, and because it was a different airline, United could not give me a boarding pass (so they said, but I’m still unsure about that). Anyway, even though Beijing has a nice new terminal for the Olympics, you still need competent people to work there. As I tried to find where to check in, the International Transfers desk (which I later learned should have given me my boarding pass) sent me off in another direction. I found myself trying to go into the gates without a boarding pass, and that gave them a fit (especially when they discovered the Tokyo-Bangkok boarding pass I’d originally been issued). I had four non-English speaking people ask me why I did not have a boarding pass before someone finally took me to the immigration supervisor’s desk. Four more people got involved and then they decided to call United Airlines to send someone over. It took an hour before someone came, all the while with me sitting there while the immigration police held my ticket and passport.

Someone finally arrived from United and told me I should have been issued a boarding pass upstairs (apparently, I was supposed to have figured this out on my own). She told me that now I would instead have to go to the Thai Airways check-in counter two terminals away and get a boarding pass. I asked her to come with me to make sure there were no other problems, but she wouldn’t.

My concern was this: I did not go through the entry process into China, nor did I have a visa for China. What she was telling me to do was go out the exit past baggage claim -- as if I had legally entered -- and then after getting my boarding pass, return to the secure area and go to my gate. (if I wanted to immigrate illegally into China, this was my big chance) My concern was that when I tried to go back through immigration control they would see that I had never legally entered, but now I was leaving, and I would have more troubles. Only now, I was 90 minutes away from my flight taking off, and I couldn’t afford more trouble.

As it turned out, I got back through the immigration checkpoint OK. What that tells me is that, despite having all these people looking at paperwork, despite all the hassle they put people through when entering or leaving the country, they ended up letting me depart from the open, non-secure area, even though my passport showed I’d never officially arrived. While I’m happy they let me through, I’m puzzled as to what, exactly, they were accomplishing with all the inefficient Communist bureaucracy.

These people are in BIG trouble when the Olympics start There is no way they will have the ability to handle all the international visitors.

Speaking of inefficient bureaucracy, I am curious to see the status of my luggage upon arriving. I’m betting it’s not there. Fortunately, I packed what I need for Bangkok, and for my first day in Malaysia, in my carry-on. But so far, this has not been so great.

(later: OK, my bag made it...it came out as soon as I came through Immigration. Yay!!)

(still later: United Airlines must have felt bad about the problems because they gave me back the 15,000 miles for my upgrade, even though I was still upgraded on the more important part of the journey)

Labels: Travel

Had a great four days at Gay Days at Disney World (OK, it's not officially sponsored by The Mouse, but everyone there was very cool). We had something like 17 people down there together...hard to be sure exactly how many with all those moving parts! Much fun was had...drinks were drunk, music was danced to, boys were watched (and more, in some cases) and a good time was had by all. Pix to follow as soon as I censor them. :P

Labels: Friends, Travel

Heading to Rehoboth Beach for the weekend. A beach house full of men with 3 bathrooms...sounds like a setting for a reality show.

I can always hope.

Also, Linh left today for Burma, and Stan and I made cookies the other night. Somehow, those events are related.

Labels: Friends, Travel

I know I seem to be getting back to the "one post a week" thing and that's not my intent. Life is just happening.

Emotions have been up and down the last 10 days or so. And I hate that. Let me be happy and enjoy it or depressed and get over it, but not this "both ways" crap.

I got some great news a couple weeks ago. I haven't shared it online yet because some people need to be told in person. Bear with me...

This week has been rough because a friend has been going through a very tough time. I won't get into the details of someone else's business, but I do want to be here for him. I'm also feeling bad for one of my overseas friends who's going through a rough time.

The weather hasn't helped. In some circumstances a torrential downpour can be fun, but this is not one of those times. Two days of rain earlier this week, and now it's raining heavy again. Boo!

The rain has screwed up the dragon boat race this weekend. The river is not safe so they have to reschedule. And odds are, they're going to reschedule for a weekend while I'm in Asia next month. I've been looking forward to this for a year and now I'm afraid it'll be taken away.

The rain has also kept me from getting out of the gym and back to running on the road.

Somehow, I'm sure this is Bush's fault.

There's been good stuff, though, like going out last night with my friend Kim and discovering a really good Chinese restaurant (I had shrimp cakes and broccoli and some kind of seafood noodles...my friend is from Malaysia and has a Penang sense of taste in restaurants). then we went to a place that serves chocolate chip bread pudding for dessert and I discovered I LOVE CHOCOLATE CHIP BREAD PUDDING!

Tonight I had dinner with another friend and had gway tio and good conversation, so yay that.

And I'm excited by the fact that 4 weeks from RIGHT NOW I'll be in Bangkok.

Somehow, I think Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanomo Bay is somewhat responsible for my roller coaster of emotions this week,

And I don't even like roller coasters!!

Labels: Friends, Life, Running, Travel, Wandering Mind

So last night, after writing that I was about to go out and was very excited about that, I laid down for just a minute...and woke up 20 minutes later, just after 11pm. I figured I still needed to get ready, then take the train to the Castro, and of course, I had to be up by 7 this morning...so, it just didn't happen. I realized if I was that tired, that I was already falling asleep, that perhaps I should stay in so that on Saturday I could be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for work...which of course is the reason I'm here.

But I just got in and I AM going to dinner in a little while, and I am determined to go out tonight and catch a bit of this town's spirit. I've been cooped up with a bunch of professors this week (thank goodness for Carol and Giacomo...we could rag on other professors over lunch, something I can't do with too many other people). Anyway, it's OK to stay out tonight even though I'm up at 7 tomorrow...after all, I'm not the one flying the plane.

My panel discussion today on couterterrorism went really well. The other speakers have done some very interesting research and we got a good discussion going after all the presentations. Everyone in the audience and on the panel seemed to have a good time, which suggest I'd be a good party planner if I ever need a job. I was a little nervous about it as I was supposed to comment on their work and some of what they're doing is a little beyond me, but it all worked out really well and they seemed to appreciate my comments, so yay.

And as I was going to lunch, aiming for the place Carol told me about, I ran into Carol and Giacomo (yay!!). Turns out they were already at the place she'd told me about...I'd misunderstood where it was and would have walked right past, becoming hopelessly lost. Fortunately they were sitting outside and yelled very loudly...twice. I should really pay attention when someone yells my name, but of course I always assume it's the paparazzi.

It's been a good week work-wise, but I could use a few days off here to just enjoy the city. I do like San Francisco and I forgot that when I go to conferences like this, the conference is about all I get to do. Good grief, I've been to 4 conferences in Chicago and have seen almost nothing beyond the hotels! But I do need to get back to work next week so I'll just need to schedule some off-work time out here sometime.

This is my second trip to the west coast in a couple weeks and I have to say I'm liking it more and more. Portland was so laid back, San Francisco has such a nice energy...as I sat in the restaurant on the 46th floor of the hotel this morning and looked out at the Golden Gate Bridge rising up through the mist covering the bay I thought "yeah, I could live here."

Labels: Travel, Work

San Francisco is going very well. It is mostly about work...I am in the conference from 8:30 - 5:30 each day and then have had work-related meetings most evenings, either over dinner or something like that. Tonight I had a really interesting dinner with some professors from Singapore.

Best part has been seeing Carol over lunch Wednesday, and she looks FABULOUS. (oh, and she's smarter than me, too)

Tonight I'm going to venture out to a club for a little dancing and Saturday night I am hoping to as well, before flying home Sunday. Oh, and I am finally speaking at this conference Saturday afternoon.

I realized today that I've seen very little of this city this week. Other than a couple hours down in the Haight-Ashbury area after arriving Tuesday, I haven't been away from Union Square. Fortunately, that will change in about 40 minutes.

Labels: Travel, Work

I am heading to Portland, Oregon, for a quick business trip. I have a meeting all day Saturday and will come home Sunday. I feel like I will spend more time on airplanes than i will spend awake in Portland.

This is my first time there and I'm excited to visit. Also, one of my former students -- who left our school in Colorado and transferred to a university in Portland -- is going to hang out with me. We've been talking online the last few months and it sounds like he's doing well -- I'm excited to see him and get to know him outside the classroom!

Stan came over last night for dinner and Lost. Then there was a new episode of South Park. We were going to follow that with a movie I'd gotten but Stan, being the mature one, said he should probably go home and let me go to bed, seeing as I had to get up at 5am to fly out. I'm glad he did, I kinda needed the sleep!

Labels: Teaching, Travel, Work

Not much going on. Work is going well...I'm finding I actually have a positive influence on how this group performs. Nice to know I still have some group management skills. I think a lot of the reason for my success is that I'm not one of those guys who talks a lot...we have plenty of people who seem to be talking just so it looks like they have something to say, even if all they're doing is repeating things that have already been settled or offering examples no one needs or cares about. My experience has been, if I don't say much, then when I do speak up, people tend to listen because they're not tired of me and they realize that if I'm offering an idea, it must be one I think is pretty important, since otherwise I'd just be quiet. It seems to work.

I'm also catching up on my reading, which is nice.

And yeah, apparently there's a really big Vietnamese community here in Atlanta, and there's also a Chinatown of sorts (I never knew that), so maybe I can find some New Year's stuff going on this weekend.

Labels: Travel, Work

Hope everyone has a wonderful Lunar New Year, and that the Year of the Rat brings you lots of good luck and happiness.

I'm in Atlanta for a few days for work. Meetings meetings meetings. Then all these old men want to go to the hotel bar and get drunk. Yeah, like I'm going to do THAT. I used to live a couple hours from here and often came here for fun so I'm going to reconnect with those roots.

After flying in today I stopped off at my favorite bookstore/coffee house. I picked up the local gay newspapers and have since discovered that the clubs I used to go to are gone. I've sent out a couple e-mails to folks asking about new places; I have to work every day but hope to go out Saturday night before flying home Sunday.

There are some people here I know but I'm out of touch with them. There's Michael, an ex-boyfriend, who has suggested he wants to meet up when I come to town but who isn't returning my e-mails. There's also Matt, a short-term roommate and even shorter-term FB from many years ago (my god, he's turning 30 this year!), but we have not been in touch in many years so the only way I would see him would be by randomly bumping into him (and as we all know, that happens to me a lot!).

I have plenty of work to keep me busy at the hotel, so I'll probably just focus on that.

Oh, and last Saturday was fun. AQUA had a night out at Town nightclub in DC and a fun time was had by all!


Danny and I at Town

Labels: Friends, Travel, Work

I spent this past weekend in New York, one of my favorite cities anywhere. For fun -- and to save money -- I took one of the Chinatown buses, going from DC Chinatown to NYC Chinatown. Kinda like my bus trip 2 weeks ago, it was...interesting. After we'd made a stop in another city I didn't expect, and as I listened to the stupid college girl sitting in front of me talk about nothing for a few hours and to the driver screaming into his cell phone (in Chinese, of course) I just kept telling myself "this is a lot cheaper than the train, this is a lot cheaper than the train..." In any case, it left me with extra money to buy gifts if I wanted to.

I went up to see my friend Scott (aka Scooter, who is going to be upset with me about one of the photos on his page, and I'll change it, I swear!), a Filipino-Chinese friend from Canada who now lives in New York...could you follow all of that? I met Scott online 8 years ago through his blog and we've been good friends ever since, but the last time I saw Scott was here in DC last May just before I went to Afghanistan. He and I had a lot of catching up to do, and we haven't had any one-on-one time with just the two of us in almost 6 years, so I was glad we were able to talk. We went dancing Friday night after I got in, heading out to The Web (of course I'm going to go there!) and it was Scooter's first time. We got there around 1 and ran into Paul and Son, two of my friends from here who were also spending the weekend in New York. Scott and I danced a lot and drank a bit and stuffed a few dollar bills into go-go boys' pants (well, OK, I did that) and basically stayed until after 4am when they looked ready to close down. I had a cute Japanese guy flirt with me but he was VERY drunk, and I was afraid he might throw up on me.

Saturday I got up after 5 hours of sleep and took the train to Scott's neighborhood in Jersey City, about a 15-minute train ride across the river. He has a great apartment with a deck and a view of the city. We had a long brunch at a nearby French place that is BYOB...you bring your bottle and they will mix your drinks, so we got a bottle of champagne and ordered orange juice and had mimosas. A LOT of mimosas. After wards we hung out at his place for a couple hours, waiting for the champagne to wear off, then headed back into the city. We hot some shops in SoHo and yes, I got clothes at Uniqlo (new pants that make my ass look good and were on sale...VELVET pants!) and Scott got a nice sweater. We also visited CB2, a spinoff of Crate and Barrel, and fantasized about home furnishings. We went out for sushi later and ate way too much! We had been out really late Friday night, so Saturday night I was tired, and I think Scott was dragging a bit, though he seemed more alive than I. We decided to call it an early night, and I was back to my hotel by 11:30. I laid down to take a nap for an hour and then think about going out dancing, but when the alarm went off an hour later all I did was reset it and go back to sleep!

I got up Sunday, with about 8 hours sleep so feeling much better, and did some walking around town, but it was COLD, it was below freezing, and the wind was blowing...brrrr. I visited a leather store in the Village (and I don't mean leather jackets!) and I went to a store called Pearl River Market that is full of Chinese stuff. Scott met me at his favorite dim sum restaurant (yay for Dim Sum GoGo...but there were no go-go boys) and we had a very nice meal, then we had about 3 hours left before my bus home which was not enough time to do much, and we didn't want to walk around outside, so we just found a café and had coffee and talked...we talked SO MUCH this weekend, and it felt really good. Anyway, i caught my bus home, and despite the driver taking a smoke break while fueling the bus (!) we got home OK, in only about 5 hours (for what is normally a 4-hour trip).

Whenever I go there I think about my friend Eddie's (in Malaysia) parents. They've have been living in the US for 12 years, in NYC Chinatown. I often go to Chinatown, like when we went for dim sum, and I always wonder...am I sitting at a table next to them? I mean, it could happen, and I wouldn't even know it. I always feel like maybe I should check on them for him, but I don't know what I would say. "Hi, Mister and Missus Chen, your son is really cute," yeah, THAT would go over well. But it would be fun to tell them about what an amazing guy he is, how he is so smart and so nice, how he has grown into a wonderful young man they can be very proud of. Maybe I should just walk around Chinatown showing people his picture and say "are you his parents?"

So, it was a good weekend. I'm not sure I want to live there...I'd have to be making a lot more than I am now to have a fun life like I'd like to have...I can do more as an occasional visitor than I can as a permanent resident, I think. But regardless of how much time I spend there, I'll always enjoy it.

Labels: Bars, Friends, Travel

When I first heard about it last year I was hoping to see Cyrano de Bergerac on Broadway, starring Kevin Kline and Jennifer Garner. Sounded cool...it's a cute story, seeing Jennifer Garner on stage would be very different from seeing her as Sidney Bristow on Alias, and Kevin Kline is one of my favorite actors. So yeah!

But I couldn't get to New York in time. Alas. And then last week I saw an ad and realized they'd extended the show until January 6th due to the Broadway strike. Hmmmmm...

I came up with a plan to go up and back without needing a hotel room, but that didn't work so well. Instead, following some suggestions from Adrian, I had a new idea...

The new plan was to take a bus to New York Friday night, go dancing with my friend Paul, stay at a nearby hotel, meet him for breakfast Saturday morning, then I'd go see the play in the afternoon and take the train home, getting back in time to go dancing back here in DC.

Friday night I took a bus to New York and got to my hotel around 10pm. I called Paul and we made plans to meet at The Web, a club I like. We met up and had a really good time...Paul's not really a club guy but I think he enjoyed it. I had a cute guy hitting on me on the dance floor, and that's always fun. And the go-go boys are always friendly (note to the SE Asia crowd: these are NOT the same as go-go boys in BKK -- no "offing" :P)

I headed back to my hotel around 2:30 and while in the cab saw a text from a DC friend named Hai who was also in New York. I texted back and he called me...he'd come up to see a friend but some drama had developed and he was asking me about finding a place to stay the next night. I asked if he felt OK staying where he was tonight, 'cuz he sounded pretty stressed. He said he really could use another place this night too and I suggested he come crash at my hotel. He was going to be awhile so I napped for an hour and about 4:30am he showed up. We got him settled into the room, after a quick trip to a nearby drug store to pick up some makeup (!), and then we sat up and talked. Until 8am. And I had to get up at 9:30. Uh oh.

So after an hour and a half I was up again and made it to breakfast with Paul...and discovered the restaurant wasn't open yet. Oh well, not a huge deal, and once it opened, Food Bar was as good as always. We had a nice time, and a nice chat, and a nice (and cute!) waiter. And mimosas.

We cabbed back to the hotel and Paul met Hai while I got my stuff together to check out. Hai and I left our bags with the front desk...he had decided to go back that night rather than trying to find another place to stay, and was going to kick around town (it was his first visit) and do some shopping while I was at the play. Paul walked to the theater with me and we chatted some more until it was time for me to go in. Thanks Paul!!

The play was GREAT and I'm so happy I went up for it. Kevin Kline is a really good actor and he really made the part his own...Steve Martin played the role in the movie Roxanne but really, seeing it on stage is so much better. And Jennifer Garner really can act without flying kicks and red wigs...who knew? It was a lot of fun, I laughed so hard (but only at the right times, of course).

No chance to meet the actors afterwards...there was a big crowd, plus I had an hour to make my train...and anyway, they didn't come out during the 20 minutes I waited. So I hustled back the 5 blocks (short blocks, not long blocks, fortunately) to the hotel and grabbed our bags...and waited for Hai. He was taking a bus, not the train, and the bus was leaving from near Penn Station about 5 minutes before my train was to leave. He showed up and we managed to find a cab and make our way through post-show traffic. We got him to his bus stop 10 minutes before he was scheduled to leave, which was cool...but that was when I realized we weren't as close to Penn Station as I thought. I was going to have to run 4 blocks (long blocks, not short blocks this time) with my bag to make it. So I ran, probably scaring a few people but hey, I needed to make my train. I made it to the station a few minutes before I was scheduled to leave.

And found the train was delayed 35 minutes. Naturally.

So I got aboard and we headed south for the 3 1/2 hour trip back to DC. Once there I would have to take the Metro home, change clothes, then head out. Since I was supposed to be meeting people, and was running late, I arranged for Adrian and my friend Stan to meet me at a Metro stop. Adrian would bring me a shirt, I had my toiletries kit so I could shave in a restroom at the train station...I got a few strange looks from the homeless people but hey, ya gotta look good at the club.

We all met up at the Metro stop, I changed shirts in the outdoor parking lot where it was below freezing, and off we went. Sadly, I was so tired I left my ATM card in a cash machine, something I didn't realize until Sunday. But no big deal, I cancelled it and a new one is on the way. Anyway, we had a fun time, lots of friends were out and much fun was had. We headed home around 2:30 and by 3:30am I was in bed.

In the previous 45 hours I'd had 2 1/2 hours of sleep. So I was a little out of it.

So, a small adventure. But definitely a fun one. And while I was there I saw ads for two more plays I want to see...

Labels: Friends, Travel

A quick adventure but a fun one. Got back Saturday night but wasn't quite done, and now I am too tired to keep my eyes open and type some more. But tomorrow night, tales will follow.

hee hee I like New York!

Labels: Travel

As with all years past I'll take today to kind of wrap up there last 365 days. It's been a wild ride of a year...things I expected got shifted around, things I totally didn't expect popped up, and all in all one of the best things I can say about the year is that no one shot directly at me. Though the year isn't over for about another 8 hours, so we'll see.

There are some things I mentioned last December that I was going to do that, unfortunately, didn't get done. I was planning to upload all my journal archives from before the big Diary-X crash, but the external hard drive where they're stored has crapped out on me and I can't get them off of it. I need to buy another drive and have someone go in and get the data off the bad one to transfer to the new one, but so far I've been lazy and haven't done that. Another thing I'd hoped to do was work on my dissertation, finally turning it into a book I can publish. I think there are some good ideas in there (and someone must agree...my dissertation spends a lot of time checked out of the two libraries where it resides) and I need to get it out into a more mainstream forum before time passes me by. I got going on it in earnest toward the end of the year at work but then some other things came up that took precedence. However, I've got a schedule for finishing it and I guess I can just bump the schedule a couple months and get back on it, and then I'll be fine.

Some totally unexpected things came up this year and I guess I should expect the same in 2008. The biggest was that I went to Afghanistan for 2 months, in June and July, to train the faculty at a military school. This was my second war (though, unlike Iraq where I got shot at every day, this time I only heard gunfire but never had it directed at me) and I think I'm done with the whole "war" thing. Of course, I thought that after Iraq, too. My time there was interesting and I felt I did some good, so even though there were some hardships there, at least it was rewarding. I have to say, though, that it hardened my resolve to get far away from the government when I leave my job in 2009.

My job has been a big let down in some ways this year, though I have tried to find an upside. I realized by the end of last year that I wouldn't be doing the work I signed on to do. Since then I've found I don't have much to do at all...we are overstaffed in my office, and my boss has no concept of "leadership" so I haven't really been given a clearly defined job to do. I've been taking on tasks as they come in, which is not really my strength (I'm best at the "long range" stuff) so I've been bored. That, in fact, is a big reason I volunteered for Afghanistan. I talked over the problem with my bosses when I left, but in the 5 months since I returned, nothing much has changed. Rather than complaining to them about it, I looked around for a position in another agency, but finally decided instead to take advantage of the free time I have at work to work on projects for other organizations and also start doing some serious planning for my post-government future. I also managed to publish a chapter in a book about the war in Iraq, so that's cool.

That planning, which I talked about at the end of last year, has moved forward. 2007 was my year to figure out what I want to do next, 2008 is my year to get things in place for the transition, and 2009 is the year it all comes together. So far this year I've developed a number of job plans and looked at the costs and benefits of all of them, trying to come up with the best option. I have a pretty good business plan laid out for my own consulting firm, and I'm also looking into teaching possibilities in the DC area. I still have some things to learn about, like marketing and such, but overall I have a decent idea and I want to start making it happen next year, testing the waters a bit. My goals are to have interesting work taking advantage of skills and knowledge I have, a flexible schedule, travel, and good money. While I'm wishing, I'd also like a pony. But hey, if you don't try, you can never succeed.

The one advantage of work this year has been the opportunity for travel. I've been to Hawaii twice, once for work and once for a combination of work and vacation. I've visited San Francisco twice, as well as Dallas and Tampa, and a trip to Atlanta which was very short and pretty boring. I also made it to Chicago, where I gave a paper but also got out of the hotel, which I don't often do on business trips to that city. Adrian and I also took a non-work trip to Puerto Rico for a long weekend last spring, and we met friends in New York back in February, while I also had a solo trip there in October. The big trip for me, of course, was to Asia in September, partially funded by work but also using the 10 vacation days I still had to use by the first of October. That. Was. Amazing. I got a day in Bangkok, though Bom had to go out of town and I wasn't able to see him. It was my first visit to Vietnam, and I got to spend a few days in Hanoi. Then I was off to Kuala Lumpur for 5 days, which was so much fun I still smile when I think of it. Afterwards I had 3 days in Hong Kong, which was a great time, then I headed back home and went to work the following day. Needless to say, I was a tired pup for a week. A planned trip to the Philippines for work got called off, though I hope to go in the coming year. I also am planning to get back to Singapore and Malaysia this year -- I got a research grant for a policy study and need to do some interviews in both countries. I'll probably add some Bangkok and Hong Kong time to that trip. And there are some other professional possibilities that might take me back to the region next year, though if that doesn't work out, I'll probably take a vacation over there.

As always, the best part of traveling is seeing old friends and meeting new ones. January's trip to Dallas led me to meet Ken from Bangkok who's now in Miami...a completely random meetup in a club, neither of us realizing the other was in town, and never having met before...how weird is that? In March I met Paulo while dancing in San Francisco, and in November we got to meet up again and go to dinner and get to know each other more than a dance floor with loud music allows. My time in Afghanistan allowed me to meet some professional colleagues who are pretty cool, so that was nice. After returning I saw I'd gotten e-mails from a couple folks on Fridae and after chatting with them I later got to meet them, so yay for meeting Eddie in Malaysia (who has tuned into a very special friend, someone who has captured his own place in my heart) and later Tony in Hong Kong. Also in HK I got to meet Eric, whom I've known over a year online but hadn't met yet. Of course, the big group meetup was in Kuala Lumpur, where I got to meet David, Frankie, Sam, Daniel, Paul, Alex, Jason, Jason Jr, Janvier, Cheryl, Thaddes, and Adrien. And of course, there was William...if you ask me why two people form a a strong emotional connection, I couldn't say, but if you ask me if it exists, I'd say YES! Can't explain it but I feel a special bond to William, and I think it's more than just the name thing. heh heh And no, it's not a physical thing, so the skanks among you can quit worrying about that. The last trip of the year, to Honolulu, led me to meet Kester, who is also friends with a couple people I know in Singapore...small world! And of course, October's trip to NYC led me to meet Paul, a very special guy who e-mailed me pretty much every day I was in Afghanistan, which helped...another "Fridae friend" who has tuned into a very cool real world friend. I also had the pleasure of meeting Joel on that trip, who is as funny and insightful in real life as he is on his blog that I've read for over a year.

This was also a year for new friends right here at home. Danny and I have finally gotten to know each other after a brief meeting in 2006. I met Vu and Troy and have gravitated into their circle of friends. Dan from Baltimore is another great guy I've gotten to know. And of course, Linh and I met late in the year and already I feel a strong friendship growing. I'm a lucky man.

Some of my existing friendships grew stronger this year. Ethan and I have gotten closer...the fact that we now work 2 blocks from each other makes it easier to get together during the week, and that's very cool. I got to meet up with Fritz a few times this year, both here and in Hawaii. Justin and I have gotten to know each other better as well. I didn't get to see Allan in Singapore this year, which is a real shame 'cuz I miss him, but I'll see him in the new year. Same with Bom. A few of my friends have had a rough time of it...one suffered a loss midway through the year, other friends have had serious problems in their relationships...but I think everyone is strong enough to bounce back from these and move forward.

It's been important to me to meet new friends and reconnect with old ones. Friends have always been the most important thing to me, and I've lost a part of that. It's time to reclaim them, reclaim that fun, and I'm glad I am. I think finally getting active on Facebook has helped. heh heh

As for me? I'm doing well, I think. I got serious about taking care of myself earlier in the year and managed to lose 20 pounds while adding muscle...much of that came from being in Afghanistan, with body armor all the time and nothing to do but work out after finishing my job, and of course I don't recommend that for everyone. I'm pleased I've been able to stay in good shape, though I have faltered during the holidays and will get back into my routine this week. After a few years of some serious body issues I'm actually happy with how I look now and am determined to maintain it for both health and looks. I'm also registered to run in two races next spring. In the last year I've explored some new interests, done a bit of new reading, and made goals for myself that I've later achieved, so that's all good. I may not be thrilled about everything in my life...and I may be a very different person from my normal self...but I think I'm in a good place right now.

The reason I'm a different person, and the reason I'm not totally content with where I am in life, is simple: Adrian and I. At the end of last year he said he wanted to work on things and try to get back together, but it's been a roller-coaster year as far as that goes. I've been up a few times but down most of the time, and that's why I tell many of my new friends "I wish you'd met me before all this because I'm really a much better person than I seem right now." The situation has been so confusing, and so complicated...I think most friends have given up trying to understand it, which is OK since I don't understand it myself. After 16 months of being depressed about it one thing is clear: it needs to get resolved, and soon, so my life can move forward again.

But we have still had some fun...a couple parties at the condo, the trips to Puerto Rico and Hawaii. When I look at the balance sheet for the year, I have to say it comes out with a profit rather than a loss. And I have next year to look forward to: getting ready for my post-government career, maybe doing some teaching, possible finishing writing one book and starting another (need to get to work on those). I also intend to meet some online friends: DanielHenry in KL, Harper and Luke Elijah in Singapore, Huy in Australia, and of course, Azhan in Malaysia (I'll try to sneak you-know-who into my suitcase for you!). I also plan to finally meet derek in Singapore...so strange that I've met his friends and his boyfriend but haven't actually met him yet. I expect to spend some more time in New York, hanging out with Scooter and getting to know Paul better. I'm hoping to see Kester again in Honolulu, and visit some new places: Taiwan, maybe, or Vancouver. I'm scheduled to go to Portland for work, and San Francisco too...that should be fun. I have tickets to see My Fair Lady at the Kennedy Center (thank you Adrian!) and the Spice Girls with Linh. I want to see my KL brothers again. I need to spend some time with Eddie in Malaysia and get Allan to slow down long enough for a hug or two or twelve. I hope to see Bom again and will visit Thailand simply for that reason. I would like my friendships here to grow stronger...I want people to know I'm not always such a mess, I'm actually someone they can count on. The bottom line is, I want to be happier, and I want to make everyone around me happier.

But isn't that what all of us want?

Happy New Year, everybody.

Labels: Friends, Life, Questions, Relationships, Teaching, Travel, Wandering Mind, Work

I finally posted my Hawaii pics.

Hawaii 2007

For a while, I was scheduled to be on another trip to Honolulu this week -- I would have arrived about an hour ago. But my bosses cancelled my participation. On the one hand that's OK, as I have enough to keep me busy here. On the other, a trip there would have helped get some research done on one project I'm doing. Plus I could've hung out with Kester again, and that would be way fun.

Today I called into work sick. But I wasn't sick. It's just that the apartment really needed cleaning and I didn't do it this weekend. MUCH better now. Though not perfect. Not by a long shot.

You know, 15 years ago I never would have done something like that. Then again, 15 years ago I didn't have enough stuff to make the apartment cluttered.

Labels: Stuff, Travel

Yes, it's Friday night, and I'm home blogging.

We had our first snow this week. It was a small one. I like snow. Specifically, I like so that is so heavy, my office is closed and I can stay home.

I need a haircut.

There are more people in my condo's gym now. Two reasons for that, I think. First, there are the people who would walk or run outside, but now that the snow's here they've moved inside. Then there is the post-Thanksgiving crowd, the "oh no, I put on so much weight, I'm really going to start working out now!" people. They will fade out by Christ