Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Some Final Thoughts on Singapore
Work-wise, Singapore was a great opportunity for me. I met with government officials not only from there but also from other countries at their embassies. I also had a chance to visit a local university, which was very useful for a number of reasons, to be explained in a future post.
And I like Singapore. It's a city where I feel comfortable (the heat notwithstanding) and I've found people there to be pretty friendly. I also developed an affection for durian ice cream, though upon trying durian juice (and throwing half of it away) I'm pretty sure I won't be trying the fruit itself any time soon.
I did a bit of shopping in Singapore, met some very cool new people (hi Jonathan! hi Vic!), and generally had a good time, much of that due to DanielHenry, who was in town on a buying trip for work the first 4 days I was there.
We hung out together Sunday and Tuesday nights, and had lunch Wednesday before he returned to KL. It was great to finally get to talk with him face-to-face...he's a sweetheart and I'm glad I know him. And he was a big help to me, since the friend I was supposed to meet up with Sunday night told me, when I called him after arriving, "I have a wedding dinner to go to tonight."
This was the start of something that bugged me, and it almost left me with a bad taste of Singapore in my mouth, until I realized how to get over it. I've known this friend for a few years, though we only met in person when I first visited SG 2 years ago. He has said things to me that make me think I'm an important person in his life, and we made some specific plans for this visit, but when I showed up that was all changed with no warning. Part of that was due to work, which I understand but which also would have been nice to know. Since we had (I thought) such a close relationship, I had not made plans with other SG friends (or in most cases, had not even let them know I was coming) because I wanted to have the flexibility to work around my friend's schedule. What i didn't realize was, I didn't really fit into his schedule...even when he had time off, and wanted to go out, it was in a group rather than one-on-one (and I had some things to discuss with him privately, something I'd told him the day I arrived).
What bugged me wasn't so much that he didn't have time for me -- I don't expect people to rearrange their lives just because I'm flying into town -- but instead, it's that he told me one thing in advance, and then another when I arrived, and had I known how unavailable he would be, I would have made other plans. Even during the week he'd say "we'll do this, this, and this," but when the time for "this" came along, suddenly everything changed. I think the point where it really got to me was the night I wa supposed to go out with him and his friends after work and he called me and said "they're all still at work, no one can go out, so I guess we won't go." Um, I could still go out...but he didn't seem interested in spending any one-on-one time. I got the sense that he was saying what he thought I wanted to hear, and then reality was intruding at the last minute. Of course, all I wanted to hear was the truth, not false promises.
I try to be very careful what I say to people online because I know there's a good chance I'll be seeing these people in person someday (when you consider how many people around the world I've met in person because of their blogs, it's a little scary). But I'm realizing not everyone does that. For some, i think it's easy to say one thing to a person 10,000 miles away, but harder to follow up on it when they're right in front of you.
Though I was upset, I got over it, but that doesn't mean things are the same. While I still like my friend a lot, I am recognizing the limitations of that friendship, something I'll keep in mind the next time I come over.
And the next time, I'll let other people know I'm coming.
But at least I got to spend more time getting to know DanielHenry!
And I like Singapore. It's a city where I feel comfortable (the heat notwithstanding) and I've found people there to be pretty friendly. I also developed an affection for durian ice cream, though upon trying durian juice (and throwing half of it away) I'm pretty sure I won't be trying the fruit itself any time soon.
I did a bit of shopping in Singapore, met some very cool new people (hi Jonathan! hi Vic!), and generally had a good time, much of that due to DanielHenry, who was in town on a buying trip for work the first 4 days I was there.
We hung out together Sunday and Tuesday nights, and had lunch Wednesday before he returned to KL. It was great to finally get to talk with him face-to-face...he's a sweetheart and I'm glad I know him. And he was a big help to me, since the friend I was supposed to meet up with Sunday night told me, when I called him after arriving, "I have a wedding dinner to go to tonight."
This was the start of something that bugged me, and it almost left me with a bad taste of Singapore in my mouth, until I realized how to get over it. I've known this friend for a few years, though we only met in person when I first visited SG 2 years ago. He has said things to me that make me think I'm an important person in his life, and we made some specific plans for this visit, but when I showed up that was all changed with no warning. Part of that was due to work, which I understand but which also would have been nice to know. Since we had (I thought) such a close relationship, I had not made plans with other SG friends (or in most cases, had not even let them know I was coming) because I wanted to have the flexibility to work around my friend's schedule. What i didn't realize was, I didn't really fit into his schedule...even when he had time off, and wanted to go out, it was in a group rather than one-on-one (and I had some things to discuss with him privately, something I'd told him the day I arrived).
What bugged me wasn't so much that he didn't have time for me -- I don't expect people to rearrange their lives just because I'm flying into town -- but instead, it's that he told me one thing in advance, and then another when I arrived, and had I known how unavailable he would be, I would have made other plans. Even during the week he'd say "we'll do this, this, and this," but when the time for "this" came along, suddenly everything changed. I think the point where it really got to me was the night I wa supposed to go out with him and his friends after work and he called me and said "they're all still at work, no one can go out, so I guess we won't go." Um, I could still go out...but he didn't seem interested in spending any one-on-one time. I got the sense that he was saying what he thought I wanted to hear, and then reality was intruding at the last minute. Of course, all I wanted to hear was the truth, not false promises.
I try to be very careful what I say to people online because I know there's a good chance I'll be seeing these people in person someday (when you consider how many people around the world I've met in person because of their blogs, it's a little scary). But I'm realizing not everyone does that. For some, i think it's easy to say one thing to a person 10,000 miles away, but harder to follow up on it when they're right in front of you.
Though I was upset, I got over it, but that doesn't mean things are the same. While I still like my friend a lot, I am recognizing the limitations of that friendship, something I'll keep in mind the next time I come over.
And the next time, I'll let other people know I'm coming.
But at least I got to spend more time getting to know DanielHenry!
Labels: Blogging, Friends, Life, Travel
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
A Week of Seeing People
Monday night I met up with a friend from Afghanistan. She was in town for some government work and we had dinner at...an Afghan restaurant. Naturally. I've been there 4 times now and still haven't told the owner I spent time there last year, and nether one of us mentioned it that night. I think we already shocked every one by hugging (gasp!) in the middle of the restaurant.
Tuesday night Stan and i met up with Charles, a very cool guy from Tokyo who was here on business and contacted me on Fridae looking for people to hang with. We had dinner and then he had to get to a reception for work, but it was raining really heavy so we had drinks after dinner instead, then sent him on his way later. Very cool guy.
Charles, Stan, and me
Tonight Stan and I went to see the new Indiana Jones movie. OK, I don't actually know Indiana Jones, but I loved those movies as a kid and was really happy to se him back up on the screen. You know, he was the inspiration for me getting a PhD. Well, OK, not really, but it would make for a good story.
And Thursday I'm off to Disney World for Gay Days. Go Mickey, Go Mickey...
Tuesday night Stan and i met up with Charles, a very cool guy from Tokyo who was here on business and contacted me on Fridae looking for people to hang with. We had dinner and then he had to get to a reception for work, but it was raining really heavy so we had drinks after dinner instead, then sent him on his way later. Very cool guy.
Tonight Stan and I went to see the new Indiana Jones movie. OK, I don't actually know Indiana Jones, but I loved those movies as a kid and was really happy to se him back up on the screen. You know, he was the inspiration for me getting a PhD. Well, OK, not really, but it would make for a good story.
And Thursday I'm off to Disney World for Gay Days. Go Mickey, Go Mickey...
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Anniversary
Today is the 20th anniversary of something very important to me, an event that set my life onto the course where it's currently running. Unfortunately I can't discuss it openly, so you'll just have to take my word for it.
I've had many occasions over the last 20 years to reflect on whether or not I should have done this thing. It has led to opportunities I never imagined, and it has inhibited my life in ways I couldn't have pictured while I was still in college. But in the end, I think I did the right thing by taking that step 20 years ago...because in that time I have met the most amazing people and made the most wonderful friends. So because of that alone, I would not have changed a thing.
In about another year I'll be able to talk about all this, but for now just know that today was a day of reflection, and I decided life is good.
I've had many occasions over the last 20 years to reflect on whether or not I should have done this thing. It has led to opportunities I never imagined, and it has inhibited my life in ways I couldn't have pictured while I was still in college. But in the end, I think I did the right thing by taking that step 20 years ago...because in that time I have met the most amazing people and made the most wonderful friends. So because of that alone, I would not have changed a thing.
In about another year I'll be able to talk about all this, but for now just know that today was a day of reflection, and I decided life is good.
Labels: Life
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Roller Coaster
I know I seem to be getting back to the "one post a week" thing and that's not my intent. Life is just happening.
Emotions have been up and down the last 10 days or so. And I hate that. Let me be happy and enjoy it or depressed and get over it, but not this "both ways" crap.
I got some great news a couple weeks ago. I haven't shared it online yet because some people need to be told in person. Bear with me...
This week has been rough because a friend has been going through a very tough time. I won't get into the details of someone else's business, but I do want to be here for him. I'm also feeling bad for one of my overseas friends who's going through a rough time.
The weather hasn't helped. In some circumstances a torrential downpour can be fun, but this is not one of those times. Two days of rain earlier this week, and now it's raining heavy again. Boo!
The rain has screwed up the dragon boat race this weekend. The river is not safe so they have to reschedule. And odds are, they're going to reschedule for a weekend while I'm in Asia next month. I've been looking forward to this for a year and now I'm afraid it'll be taken away.
The rain has also kept me from getting out of the gym and back to running on the road.
Somehow, I'm sure this is Bush's fault.
There's been good stuff, though, like going out last night with my friend Kim and discovering a really good Chinese restaurant (I had shrimp cakes and broccoli and some kind of seafood noodles...my friend is from Malaysia and has a Penang sense of taste in restaurants). then we went to a place that serves chocolate chip bread pudding for dessert and I discovered I LOVE CHOCOLATE CHIP BREAD PUDDING!
Tonight I had dinner with another friend and had gway tio and good conversation, so yay that.
And I'm excited by the fact that 4 weeks from RIGHT NOW I'll be in Bangkok.
Somehow, I think Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanomo Bay is somewhat responsible for my roller coaster of emotions this week,
And I don't even like roller coasters!!
Emotions have been up and down the last 10 days or so. And I hate that. Let me be happy and enjoy it or depressed and get over it, but not this "both ways" crap.
I got some great news a couple weeks ago. I haven't shared it online yet because some people need to be told in person. Bear with me...
This week has been rough because a friend has been going through a very tough time. I won't get into the details of someone else's business, but I do want to be here for him. I'm also feeling bad for one of my overseas friends who's going through a rough time.
The weather hasn't helped. In some circumstances a torrential downpour can be fun, but this is not one of those times. Two days of rain earlier this week, and now it's raining heavy again. Boo!
The rain has screwed up the dragon boat race this weekend. The river is not safe so they have to reschedule. And odds are, they're going to reschedule for a weekend while I'm in Asia next month. I've been looking forward to this for a year and now I'm afraid it'll be taken away.
The rain has also kept me from getting out of the gym and back to running on the road.
Somehow, I'm sure this is Bush's fault.
There's been good stuff, though, like going out last night with my friend Kim and discovering a really good Chinese restaurant (I had shrimp cakes and broccoli and some kind of seafood noodles...my friend is from Malaysia and has a Penang sense of taste in restaurants). then we went to a place that serves chocolate chip bread pudding for dessert and I discovered I LOVE CHOCOLATE CHIP BREAD PUDDING!
Tonight I had dinner with another friend and had gway tio and good conversation, so yay that.
And I'm excited by the fact that 4 weeks from RIGHT NOW I'll be in Bangkok.
Somehow, I think Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanomo Bay is somewhat responsible for my roller coaster of emotions this week,
And I don't even like roller coasters!!
Labels: Friends, Life, Running, Travel, Wandering Mind
Monday, April 21, 2008
Hiya
So, what's been happening during the week I've been too busy to blog? Well...
Tuesday I had dinner with a friend who lives here and is originally from Penang, who also lived in Boston and New York before coming here. I helped him shop for a new mattress, we had Afghan food, and he gave me advice for a friend of mine in Penang who wants to come study here (hi, Azhan!!). He was thrilled to be riding in my Beetle (frankly, I was thrilled it was working) because he used to have one in Boston. It was from him that I learned that I can raise the front seats. It totally changed my driving experience.
Wednesday night my friend Doug was in town. Ah, Doug, who when I met him was a college student living in a (admittedly nice) trailer in Colorado, and who now lives in Germany with his hot German boyfriend. How times have changed. We had a nice long talk on the way into DC for dinner about all the stuff going on here at home...he'd read the basics from my blog but seeing as we've known each other for about 13 years he was getting concerned about my change in tone over the last couple years and he wanted to make sure I'm cool. And for that, I am appreciative. Also in the outing was Arlington Michael (who now lives in DC but once I give you a nickname, it sticks) who, in an odd twist of fate, dated Doug after Doug moved to DC a few years ago. Michael's boyfriend Mike (whom I have not yet graced with a Michael-nickname, though Hottie Michael would be appropriate) was also there, which means that for a while before Adrian joined us, Arlington Michael was sitting with a tableful of people who had ALL SLEPT WITH HIM. That had to be totally hot. For him.
Thursday night Stan came over and I fixed dinner and we watched Super Troopers. I thought this was going to be some sort of a Reno 911 kind of thing but it was actually really good. Oh, and my pasta was all right, though the bread I'd gotten the night before from Safeway had mold on it so BOO for Safeway.
Incidentally, people have been asking me who Stan is, so here's a pic:
We met at Josh and Angelo's Halloween party and had some professional things in common. We got to talking, met up for lunch a couple times, and over the past few months have turned into really good friends. He's a lot of fun to hang out with and we share interests but also are up for new things so it's never boring. I won't talk much about what a great guy he is because he reads this and it might embarrass him, but I will say he likes to drink for free on Thursday nights and leave it at that (the DC boys know what that means).
Friday night Justin came over, I fixed up a little dinner, and we watched the Miss USA pageant, which I'd TIVO'd. Justin is a big fan of pageants going back to his younger days, and I have to admit I got really caught up in it as the evening went on. I was very impressed with the young lady who won and who will be representing the US at Miss Universe in Vietnam this summer.
Saturday was a good day. I met Stan and we ran 3 miles in the morning...it was a beautiful day so getting out was a must. Then I spent a few hours doing some errands and working on a project I'm trying to get off the ground. My favorite line of the day came from Ethan, who called around mid-afternoon:
So I ran again, 5 miles this time, and it was all good, even my knee.
Sunday was dragon boat practice and naturally it started raining while we were on the river. Just a light rain at first but then it REALLY came down hard.
Today I was going to run on the machines in the gym because it was still raining but when I stepped outside it had stopped. So I decided to run outside and hadn't gone more than 100 meters before the rain started coming down again. i thought about going back to the gym but everyone had seen me leave and I didn't want to look like a wuss. After all, it's only water, right? So yeah, it came down hard and I was pretty soaked after 3 miles, but at least I had the running trail to myself.
And now it's late and definitely time for sleeping!!
Tuesday I had dinner with a friend who lives here and is originally from Penang, who also lived in Boston and New York before coming here. I helped him shop for a new mattress, we had Afghan food, and he gave me advice for a friend of mine in Penang who wants to come study here (hi, Azhan!!). He was thrilled to be riding in my Beetle (frankly, I was thrilled it was working) because he used to have one in Boston. It was from him that I learned that I can raise the front seats. It totally changed my driving experience.
Wednesday night my friend Doug was in town. Ah, Doug, who when I met him was a college student living in a (admittedly nice) trailer in Colorado, and who now lives in Germany with his hot German boyfriend. How times have changed. We had a nice long talk on the way into DC for dinner about all the stuff going on here at home...he'd read the basics from my blog but seeing as we've known each other for about 13 years he was getting concerned about my change in tone over the last couple years and he wanted to make sure I'm cool. And for that, I am appreciative. Also in the outing was Arlington Michael (who now lives in DC but once I give you a nickname, it sticks) who, in an odd twist of fate, dated Doug after Doug moved to DC a few years ago. Michael's boyfriend Mike (whom I have not yet graced with a Michael-nickname, though Hottie Michael would be appropriate) was also there, which means that for a while before Adrian joined us, Arlington Michael was sitting with a tableful of people who had ALL SLEPT WITH HIM. That had to be totally hot. For him.
Thursday night Stan came over and I fixed dinner and we watched Super Troopers. I thought this was going to be some sort of a Reno 911 kind of thing but it was actually really good. Oh, and my pasta was all right, though the bread I'd gotten the night before from Safeway had mold on it so BOO for Safeway.
Incidentally, people have been asking me who Stan is, so here's a pic:
We met at Josh and Angelo's Halloween party and had some professional things in common. We got to talking, met up for lunch a couple times, and over the past few months have turned into really good friends. He's a lot of fun to hang out with and we share interests but also are up for new things so it's never boring. I won't talk much about what a great guy he is because he reads this and it might embarrass him, but I will say he likes to drink for free on Thursday nights and leave it at that (the DC boys know what that means).
Friday night Justin came over, I fixed up a little dinner, and we watched the Miss USA pageant, which I'd TIVO'd. Justin is a big fan of pageants going back to his younger days, and I have to admit I got really caught up in it as the evening went on. I was very impressed with the young lady who won and who will be representing the US at Miss Universe in Vietnam this summer.
Saturday was a good day. I met Stan and we ran 3 miles in the morning...it was a beautiful day so getting out was a must. Then I spent a few hours doing some errands and working on a project I'm trying to get off the ground. My favorite line of the day came from Ethan, who called around mid-afternoon:
Ethan: We're going running this evening, you want to go?
Me; I already ran once today.
Ethan: So? You can eat in the morning and evening, why can't you run twice?
Me: I have no good response to that.
So I ran again, 5 miles this time, and it was all good, even my knee.
Sunday was dragon boat practice and naturally it started raining while we were on the river. Just a light rain at first but then it REALLY came down hard.
Me: My hair's going to be a mess for Happy Hour.
Guy behind me: I'm more concerned about that lightning, and the fact we're in a metal boat in the middle of a river.
Me: I have no good response to that.
Today I was going to run on the machines in the gym because it was still raining but when I stepped outside it had stopped. So I decided to run outside and hadn't gone more than 100 meters before the rain started coming down again. i thought about going back to the gym but everyone had seen me leave and I didn't want to look like a wuss. After all, it's only water, right? So yeah, it came down hard and I was pretty soaked after 3 miles, but at least I had the running trail to myself.
And now it's late and definitely time for sleeping!!
Labels: Friends, Life, Relationships
Monday, April 14, 2008
Tiring, But Good, Weekend
I had a nice visit with my uncle this weekend. We went to Mount vernon on Saturday (George Washington's estate, for those who don't know) and on Sunday visited the National Building Museum and then went to the national Archives to see the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. All very cool touristy stuff suitable for a history major from the University of Virginia (which he was).
Saturday night he and Adrian and I went to dinner and Sunday night Adrian made dinner. Good food was had both times, but unlike my wonderful Malaysian friends, I will neither describe it in great detail nor post photos of it.
Sunday morning out dragon boat team had our first practice!! I had fun and discovered that I don't totally suck at this. At least, no one told me I did. We have a men's team and there's also a co-ed team, both sponsored by AQUA (I think "stroking for the gay asian community" should be our slogan, or something close to that anyway).
Please note: some of these people are straight so inclusion in this photo does not imply anything about a team member's sexual orientation
Tonight was a "chill out with Chinese food and TV" night because the weekend was a little tiring, what with all the running around and the constant attention my uncle needed. And even though my social calendar is filling up for this week, I do intend to get caught up on e-mails and such, on which I'm totally behind.
Saturday night he and Adrian and I went to dinner and Sunday night Adrian made dinner. Good food was had both times, but unlike my wonderful Malaysian friends, I will neither describe it in great detail nor post photos of it.
Sunday morning out dragon boat team had our first practice!! I had fun and discovered that I don't totally suck at this. At least, no one told me I did. We have a men's team and there's also a co-ed team, both sponsored by AQUA (I think "stroking for the gay asian community" should be our slogan, or something close to that anyway).
Please note: some of these people are straight so inclusion in this photo does not imply anything about a team member's sexual orientation
Tonight was a "chill out with Chinese food and TV" night because the weekend was a little tiring, what with all the running around and the constant attention my uncle needed. And even though my social calendar is filling up for this week, I do intend to get caught up on e-mails and such, on which I'm totally behind.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Family Visit
My uncle, whom I haven't seen in 22 years, is visiting this weekend. It's cool, because we have a lot to catch up on, but it's a little draining...because we have a lot to catch up on. Also, we are doing museums and such and my legs are getting tired. (but my knees are fine, thank you to those who were about to ask)
Anyway, I bailed out of work Friday morning to pick him up and then spent the day together, then today we were touring all day. Sunday I have dragon boat practice in the morning and then we will be hitting museums all afternoon and then Monday I will send him on his way toward my parents.
It's great to see him. It's unfortunate that there was some confusion about whether he was coming and as a result I made commitments to other people for things on Friday night that I had to bail out on (I didn't think taking my 64-year old uncle to a gaysian party at a new club was a good idea). But I am still going to dragon boat practice Sunday because...well, just because.
This weekend has been a vortex of confusion for some time. First I was supposed to be flying to Bahrain this weekend for work, but I got out of that. Then I was supposed to be in Bangkok this weekend, then going to KL on Sunday, as part of a work trip, but that fell through. Then this visit...I tell you, there has just been something weird about this weekend.
I don't know what it is. Could it be because this is yet another Lunar New Year? In any event, Happy Songkran (Sawasdee Bpee Mai!) to all my Thai friends and Happy Bpee Mai (Souksan Vahn Bpee Mai!) to everyone from Laos!!!
Anyway, I bailed out of work Friday morning to pick him up and then spent the day together, then today we were touring all day. Sunday I have dragon boat practice in the morning and then we will be hitting museums all afternoon and then Monday I will send him on his way toward my parents.
It's great to see him. It's unfortunate that there was some confusion about whether he was coming and as a result I made commitments to other people for things on Friday night that I had to bail out on (I didn't think taking my 64-year old uncle to a gaysian party at a new club was a good idea). But I am still going to dragon boat practice Sunday because...well, just because.
This weekend has been a vortex of confusion for some time. First I was supposed to be flying to Bahrain this weekend for work, but I got out of that. Then I was supposed to be in Bangkok this weekend, then going to KL on Sunday, as part of a work trip, but that fell through. Then this visit...I tell you, there has just been something weird about this weekend.
I don't know what it is. Could it be because this is yet another Lunar New Year? In any event, Happy Songkran (Sawasdee Bpee Mai!) to all my Thai friends and Happy Bpee Mai (Souksan Vahn Bpee Mai!) to everyone from Laos!!!
Labels: Life
Friday, April 11, 2008
Bad Karma, Good Karma
Bad: driving out to work Tuesday I noticed that the parking lot where my non-functioning Beetle was parked was going to be closed on Wednesday and I would have to figure out how to move it.
Good: it got me off my ass and forced me to get the car fixed.
Bad: I was waiting for the driver from the car repair place to pick me up, and I didn't see him until he was driving away.
Good: As I tried to figure out what to do, Ethan walked by on his way to his car and was able to give me a ride, the first time I'd seen him since last Sunday's race.
Bad: the car repairs were VERY expensive.
Good: I realized that since the car is paid for, I might as well keep it for a while and have fun with it (while getting my money's worth from the repairs! :P)
Bad: this morning, as I got downstairs in my building to catch our private bus to the train station, I realized I forgot something and had to come back up, which meant I would miss the bus and be late to work.
Good: a lady from my building saw me running late and got the bus driver to wait until I came back down.
Bad: my train was delayed coming home and I missed our private bus back to the condo.
Good: there was a public bus leaving 30 seconds after I arrived and I managed to get on it.
Bad: I went running today and about 3.5 miles into it my left knee started hurting so bad I had to walk.
Good: I still finished 5 miles, and it was a BEAUTIFUL day outside.
Some people say I am too optimistic. Maybe so. I try to see the good in everything, something I am getting better at lately. When people try to decide how they feel, if "the glass is half full" or "the glass is half empty," I'm just happy to have a glass.
Most people think I'm on drugs.
Good: it got me off my ass and forced me to get the car fixed.
Bad: I was waiting for the driver from the car repair place to pick me up, and I didn't see him until he was driving away.
Good: As I tried to figure out what to do, Ethan walked by on his way to his car and was able to give me a ride, the first time I'd seen him since last Sunday's race.
Bad: the car repairs were VERY expensive.
Good: I realized that since the car is paid for, I might as well keep it for a while and have fun with it (while getting my money's worth from the repairs! :P)
Bad: this morning, as I got downstairs in my building to catch our private bus to the train station, I realized I forgot something and had to come back up, which meant I would miss the bus and be late to work.
Good: a lady from my building saw me running late and got the bus driver to wait until I came back down.
Bad: my train was delayed coming home and I missed our private bus back to the condo.
Good: there was a public bus leaving 30 seconds after I arrived and I managed to get on it.
Bad: I went running today and about 3.5 miles into it my left knee started hurting so bad I had to walk.
Good: I still finished 5 miles, and it was a BEAUTIFUL day outside.
Some people say I am too optimistic. Maybe so. I try to see the good in everything, something I am getting better at lately. When people try to decide how they feel, if "the glass is half full" or "the glass is half empty," I'm just happy to have a glass.
Most people think I'm on drugs.
Labels: Life
Sunday, April 06, 2008
The Results Are In
Place (Overall): 4,685 out of 12,249
Place (Men's Division): 3,162 out of 5,865
Place (Men 40-49): 441 out of 763
@5 Mile: 46m 04s
Pace: 9:13/mile
@10KM: 56m 28s
Pace: 9:06/mile
Finish Line: 1h 28m 59s
Overall Pace: 8:54/mile
I came in only 1 minute behind Ethan, who has been my inspiration for this. I am catching up to him! (fortunately for me he has been sick all week -- I'm sure that helped!) Sorry, no pics of Ethan for those people who wanted to see some -- the rain was bad for cameras.
My knee still hurts, though not as bad as before. Adrian suggested I should ice it when we got home, but I had trouble deciding between vanilla and chocolate icing. Anyway, it helped.
Place (Men's Division): 3,162 out of 5,865
Place (Men 40-49): 441 out of 763
@5 Mile: 46m 04s
Pace: 9:13/mile
@10KM: 56m 28s
Pace: 9:06/mile
Finish Line: 1h 28m 59s
Overall Pace: 8:54/mile
I came in only 1 minute behind Ethan, who has been my inspiration for this. I am catching up to him! (fortunately for me he has been sick all week -- I'm sure that helped!) Sorry, no pics of Ethan for those people who wanted to see some -- the rain was bad for cameras.
My knee still hurts, though not as bad as before. Adrian suggested I should ice it when we got home, but I had trouble deciding between vanilla and chocolate icing. Anyway, it helped.
Across the Finish Line
I completed the Cherry Blossom 10-Mile race today. This was my first 10-miler, so YAY for that. Official results haven't been posted yet, but my tonight I should know how I did. I think I finished right around 90 minutes and my hope is that I was below that time. We only had light rain as I started but almost right after I crossed the finish line it really started coming down.
In a related story, my left knee hurts!!
In a related story, my left knee hurts!!
Labels: Life
Saturday, April 05, 2008
All Good
In case you're wondering, no, I haven't been kidnapped by a roving band of hot guys (dammit). After getting back from San Francisco last Sunday life got VERY busy. We had some stuff going on at work, plus I'm taking on a new project that requires some work in the evenings, so I've just been very busy. Up late, too much time in front of the computer, not enough sleep.
Right now I'm going to crash for 6 hours because of course I'm running a race in the morning. 10 miles. And of course, it's going to be raining.
Tales to follow.
Right now I'm going to crash for 6 hours because of course I'm running a race in the morning. 10 miles. And of course, it's going to be raining.
Tales to follow.
Labels: Life
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Run Run Run...End Up Back Where You Started
Time: 44:24
Overall Place: 1835
Gender Place: 1152
Age Division Place: 122
Pace: 8min, 56sec per mile
It's been 20 years since I last ran a race. In college I used to run to say in shape and would occasionally run a race...I'll never forget the "Fetus 5K." Anyway, after Ethan ran the Marine Corps Marathon last year he decided EVERYONE would run, so he convinced me, Adrian, and our friend Ramon to start running, among others. We all ran in the Washington DC Saint Patrick's Day 8K Race today, with my results noted above...not bad. I'm registered for a major 10-mile race in a month, and Ethan has it in his head that I'm going to do 1 or 2 others and then run the Marine Corps Marathon, which is going to require a lot of training over the summer.
We'll see, Ethan, we'll see.
Of course, a couple friends out there would gladly run with him, just to see Ethan in shorts.
Anyway, today's race went well. It was cold (below freezing, with wind) as the race started at 9am, and it didn't get warmer. I felt good throughout, though I started to get really hot under three layers of clothes and took my hoodie off halfway through...suddenly I remembered why I was wearing it in the first place!! There were over 4000 people running...it was crazy, but next month's race has over 10,000. I often run 5 miles anyway (8K is 4.97 miles) so this wasn't too much of a challenge, and I ran it as quickly as I expected. The 10-mile race may be a little tougher...I have some work to do before next month!
Afterwards we went out for pho. Isn't that what everyone does after a race?
Photos to follow tomorrow, Blogger is being poopy tonight.
Friday, March 07, 2008
Contrast
Last night Stan and I went to a discussion at a major think tank. We heard an author discussing a new book about changing relationships in Asia, about the nature of agreements between countries there, about the role of the United States and China in Southeast Asia, how India and Russia fit into all this. Very interesting stuff that ties in nicely with a research study I'm currently doing. The audience, as is common in Washington DC, was made up of professors, retired diplomats, senior government officials, and some other very smart people.
Afterwards, we went to a bar where, if you take your shirt off, you get free drinks.
Afterwards, we went to a bar where, if you take your shirt off, you get free drinks.
Labels: Bars, Friends, Life, Work
Monday, February 25, 2008
"You Make Me Want to Have More Gay Friends"
That's what a friend said to me one evening.
And that is about the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
He told me he'd never really had gay friends before...I guess he was always the gay guy surrounded by a circle of straight friends. It's not that he didn't know any gay people, but as he said, "I've only had one use for gay men." And it wasn't friendship.
When my friend said what he said, it about knocked me out. I don't think he realizes how much it meant to me that he said those words. First, because it was the most open he had been with me, and I was touched that he shared those thoughts. And of course, because the idea that I might have had a positive impact on someone's outlook on life is a very powerful thing. It's always nice to have someone tell you that you've added something good to the way they view the world.
This came up months ago, I just haven't mentioned it before now because...well, because it seems like a new sensation, like it just happened last night. But the truth is, whenever I'm feeling down, I think about that, and I smile.
And that is about the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
He told me he'd never really had gay friends before...I guess he was always the gay guy surrounded by a circle of straight friends. It's not that he didn't know any gay people, but as he said, "I've only had one use for gay men." And it wasn't friendship.
When my friend said what he said, it about knocked me out. I don't think he realizes how much it meant to me that he said those words. First, because it was the most open he had been with me, and I was touched that he shared those thoughts. And of course, because the idea that I might have had a positive impact on someone's outlook on life is a very powerful thing. It's always nice to have someone tell you that you've added something good to the way they view the world.
This came up months ago, I just haven't mentioned it before now because...well, because it seems like a new sensation, like it just happened last night. But the truth is, whenever I'm feeling down, I think about that, and I smile.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Not Much Happening
I'm still alive, just not writing much. I just haven't had much to write about. I don't want to be filling the screen with negative posts so 'tis best to wait until something more positive comes along. And since I'm going to see the Spice Girls Thursday night, that will probably qualify!
A number of friends have been feeling down lately as well, whether due to romantic problems, job difficulties, or illness. But some have been doing great, writing about holidays with family, and in one case I learned someone is dating...
I am considering signing up for a social networking site using the screen name "Ang Moh." Thoughts?
A number of friends have been feeling down lately as well, whether due to romantic problems, job difficulties, or illness. But some have been doing great, writing about holidays with family, and in one case I learned someone is dating...
I am considering signing up for a social networking site using the screen name "Ang Moh." Thoughts?
Thursday, February 14, 2008
First Day Back
I've been out sick for a couple days. Everyone else seemed to be getting sick at work last week, guess it was my turn. I really wasn't that bad off...my body is pretty good at fighting off sickness, it just makes me really tired when it does. But since I didn't have anything really urgent at work I felt comfortable taking a couple days to try to feel better. Glad I did...we had a bad ice storm Tuesday that messed up the commute home for lots of people, and a lot of our folks didn't even make it into work Wednesday as a result. So if I was going to be out, these were the days to do it.
A bunch of people suggested today that I shouldn't be there...whether because I looked really sick or because they didn't want me infecting them, I don't know. But I needed to go in and will go back Friday as well, I have some stuff which does need to get done now. I'll just try to avoid sneezing on anyone.
Here's a question on office etiquette: when you see someone in the boss' office, would you walk in on their conversation? I never do, unless there is something very urgent the boss needs to know about, and that is pretty rare. So how come today, whenever I went in to see one of the senior folks, people felt compelled to come in and either interrupt or just sit down and start contributing their thoughts to our meeting? One guy stuck his head in the door and said "am I interrupting anything?" Um, yeah. If there was nothing going on, I wouldn't be here, I'd be back at my desk working. I told him to let us finish, and he took off. Later, I was trying to fill one of the directors in on what happened at the Atlanta meeting last week and 2 other people came in and joined the meeting, turning it from 15 minutes (which is all I thought it would take) into nearly 2 hours! Plus, 2 other people stopped in just to ask a question about something that could have waited. Come on!! Didn't these people learn manners as a kid? I guess it's too late for me to fix their behavior -- if their mother didn't do it, it's probably too late for me to change it -- but I will let them know they're annoying and embarrass them in the process if they're too dumb to get the hint.
Am I surrounded by idiots, or is it really just something wrong with me?
A bunch of people suggested today that I shouldn't be there...whether because I looked really sick or because they didn't want me infecting them, I don't know. But I needed to go in and will go back Friday as well, I have some stuff which does need to get done now. I'll just try to avoid sneezing on anyone.
Here's a question on office etiquette: when you see someone in the boss' office, would you walk in on their conversation? I never do, unless there is something very urgent the boss needs to know about, and that is pretty rare. So how come today, whenever I went in to see one of the senior folks, people felt compelled to come in and either interrupt or just sit down and start contributing their thoughts to our meeting? One guy stuck his head in the door and said "am I interrupting anything?" Um, yeah. If there was nothing going on, I wouldn't be here, I'd be back at my desk working. I told him to let us finish, and he took off. Later, I was trying to fill one of the directors in on what happened at the Atlanta meeting last week and 2 other people came in and joined the meeting, turning it from 15 minutes (which is all I thought it would take) into nearly 2 hours! Plus, 2 other people stopped in just to ask a question about something that could have waited. Come on!! Didn't these people learn manners as a kid? I guess it's too late for me to fix their behavior -- if their mother didn't do it, it's probably too late for me to change it -- but I will let them know they're annoying and embarrass them in the process if they're too dumb to get the hint.
Am I surrounded by idiots, or is it really just something wrong with me?
Friday, February 01, 2008
What's in a Name?
I was going to write about my job sucking really badly today, but instead, this cute short tale...
Adrian and I had to go to the condo office for something this evening. The lady at the front desk was filling out some paperwork and made a comment about Adrian's last name. Then she looked at me and said, "sorry, I just wasn't sure how to pronounce your name." Implying, of course, that Adrian had my last name and I had his.
Why this is funny is, whereas I have an English last name, Adrian is from Laos, so his last name has something like 37 consonants and 2 vowels. But with both of us standing there, she thought that was my name.
Obviously, she wasn't Asian.
Adrian and I had to go to the condo office for something this evening. The lady at the front desk was filling out some paperwork and made a comment about Adrian's last name. Then she looked at me and said, "sorry, I just wasn't sure how to pronounce your name." Implying, of course, that Adrian had my last name and I had his.
Why this is funny is, whereas I have an English last name, Adrian is from Laos, so his last name has something like 37 consonants and 2 vowels. But with both of us standing there, she thought that was my name.
Obviously, she wasn't Asian.
Labels: Life
Monday, January 21, 2008
A Quick Commercial
I was going to write about this weekend's trip to New York but I'm just too excited about this.
We'll talk about New York tomorrow.
We'll talk about New York tomorrow.
Labels: Life
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything
So far, 42 is a good age.
So Sunday, we first went to a big art gallery downtown where there were 2 photo exhibits: Ansel Adams and Annie Leibovitz. That was very cool, I've seen Leibovitz's work before but many of these photos were first-timers for me, especially some more personal photos of her family. She had her first baby when she was 51 and twins three years later...wow!
Sunday night we went out to a nice dinner at a French/Belgian restaurant downtown. They have an amazing menu; I had lobster bisque, grilled shrimp, boudin blanc, and kiwi sorbet (if i was KL William instead of DC William, I would have photos of each of these). Adrian also had the bisque, scallops, venison, and frangellico mousse. It was all extraordinarily yummy, and the service was fantastic. We were each planning to have a glass of wine - Adrian red, me white -- and the waiter opened two bottles for each of us so we could try them and choose. I've never been to another restaurant that will open multiple bottles for people drinking only by the glass. A great time, and I definitely want to go back.
We were going to the Kennedy center to see a play afterwards, and they had a nice deal...as soon as we were done there was a car waiting for us to take us to the theater, a nice Mercedes. After the show the driver was back to pick us up...kinda nice when everyone else was in line for a taxi or a bus and we simply had our driver pull up, jump out, and open our doors, and off we went.
The play we saw was My Fair Lady, which each of us really likes for different reasons. Adrian is into it because Audrey Hepburn is his favorite actress and the movie version of this was one of her biggest films. As for me, well, when I was 13 I was in the pit orchestra for a high school production of this show, and I've always enjoyed it. We saw a high school show when we lived here before and Adrian thought it would be nice to see a version that didn't use cardboard boxes for the set. The show was great...Adrian had gotten us seats in the fourth or fifth row and the actors were really great, the sets beautiful (no cardboard boxes) and the drummer in the orchestra was ALMOST as good as I was nearly 30 years ago.
So yeah, being 42 has been OK. But every Sunday night probably won't be that great. Thanks, Adrian!
So Sunday, we first went to a big art gallery downtown where there were 2 photo exhibits: Ansel Adams and Annie Leibovitz. That was very cool, I've seen Leibovitz's work before but many of these photos were first-timers for me, especially some more personal photos of her family. She had her first baby when she was 51 and twins three years later...wow!
Sunday night we went out to a nice dinner at a French/Belgian restaurant downtown. They have an amazing menu; I had lobster bisque, grilled shrimp, boudin blanc, and kiwi sorbet (if i was KL William instead of DC William, I would have photos of each of these). Adrian also had the bisque, scallops, venison, and frangellico mousse. It was all extraordinarily yummy, and the service was fantastic. We were each planning to have a glass of wine - Adrian red, me white -- and the waiter opened two bottles for each of us so we could try them and choose. I've never been to another restaurant that will open multiple bottles for people drinking only by the glass. A great time, and I definitely want to go back.
We were going to the Kennedy center to see a play afterwards, and they had a nice deal...as soon as we were done there was a car waiting for us to take us to the theater, a nice Mercedes. After the show the driver was back to pick us up...kinda nice when everyone else was in line for a taxi or a bus and we simply had our driver pull up, jump out, and open our doors, and off we went.
The play we saw was My Fair Lady, which each of us really likes for different reasons. Adrian is into it because Audrey Hepburn is his favorite actress and the movie version of this was one of her biggest films. As for me, well, when I was 13 I was in the pit orchestra for a high school production of this show, and I've always enjoyed it. We saw a high school show when we lived here before and Adrian thought it would be nice to see a version that didn't use cardboard boxes for the set. The show was great...Adrian had gotten us seats in the fourth or fifth row and the actors were really great, the sets beautiful (no cardboard boxes) and the drummer in the orchestra was ALMOST as good as I was nearly 30 years ago.
So yeah, being 42 has been OK. But every Sunday night probably won't be that great. Thanks, Adrian!
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Birthday Boy
We went to a photo exhibit this afternoon, to a fabulous dinner tonight, and then headed to the Kennedy Center for a play. A great time was had but I am too freakin' tired to blog right now, so off to bed with more to follow Monday.
To all who sent e-mails, Facebook notes, SMS...thank you!!! Many of those came from overseas, so they started even before it was officially my birthday here! Special thanks to Eddie in Malaysia, Tracy in California, Paul in New York, and Ethan here at home who all called...thank you, boys!!!
And now to bed. After all, I'm 42...I need at least 5 hours of sleep a night.
To all who sent e-mails, Facebook notes, SMS...thank you!!! Many of those came from overseas, so they started even before it was officially my birthday here! Special thanks to Eddie in Malaysia, Tracy in California, Paul in New York, and Ethan here at home who all called...thank you, boys!!!
And now to bed. After all, I'm 42...I need at least 5 hours of sleep a night.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
I Didn't Cross the Line, But I Know What It Looks Like Now
So yeah, I'm about 2 steps away from having an eating disorder. Tonight I came a little too close to that, getting a taste of what it would be like. And it wouldn't be pretty. So I think I'll back away from it slowly. And by "slowly," I mean "quickly." It's ridiculous to think that a 41-year old (42 as of this coming Sunday) man would have an eating disorder. of course, no one should have one, but for someone like me it seems particularly ludicrous. Of course, when you qualify that by saying a 41-year old (42 as of this coming Sunday) GAY man, then it becomes a little easier to understand, though still not a good thing. Fortunately, as I say, I've recognized the warning signs and will now go eat a cookie.
On the plus side, I saw Charlie Wilson's War tonight, a very good film with a somewhat sobering ending. I did not have flashbacks to Afghanistan when I saw it, which is good, but I got a little uneasy during the preview for Stop-Loss, which is about Iraq. I probably wouldn't freak out, though, which is good, as there are some actors in there I'd like to see. But I'm still not thrilled about seeing an Iraq war film yet. I've avoided all the others so far.
On the plus side, I saw Charlie Wilson's War tonight, a very good film with a somewhat sobering ending. I did not have flashbacks to Afghanistan when I saw it, which is good, but I got a little uneasy during the preview for Stop-Loss, which is about Iraq. I probably wouldn't freak out, though, which is good, as there are some actors in there I'd like to see. But I'm still not thrilled about seeing an Iraq war film yet. I've avoided all the others so far.
Monday, December 31, 2007
It's That Day
As with all years past I'll take today to kind of wrap up there last 365 days. It's been a wild ride of a year...things I expected got shifted around, things I totally didn't expect popped up, and all in all one of the best things I can say about the year is that no one shot directly at me. Though the year isn't over for about another 8 hours, so we'll see.
There are some things I mentioned last December that I was going to do that, unfortunately, didn't get done. I was planning to upload all my journal archives from before the big Diary-X crash, but the external hard drive where they're stored has crapped out on me and I can't get them off of it. I need to buy another drive and have someone go in and get the data off the bad one to transfer to the new one, but so far I've been lazy and haven't done that. Another thing I'd hoped to do was work on my dissertation, finally turning it into a book I can publish. I think there are some good ideas in there (and someone must agree...my dissertation spends a lot of time checked out of the two libraries where it resides) and I need to get it out into a more mainstream forum before time passes me by. I got going on it in earnest toward the end of the year at work but then some other things came up that took precedence. However, I've got a schedule for finishing it and I guess I can just bump the schedule a couple months and get back on it, and then I'll be fine.
Some totally unexpected things came up this year and I guess I should expect the same in 2008. The biggest was that I went to Afghanistan for 2 months, in June and July, to train the faculty at a military school. This was my second war (though, unlike Iraq where I got shot at every day, this time I only heard gunfire but never had it directed at me) and I think I'm done with the whole "war" thing. Of course, I thought that after Iraq, too. My time there was interesting and I felt I did some good, so even though there were some hardships there, at least it was rewarding. I have to say, though, that it hardened my resolve to get far away from the government when I leave my job in 2009.
My job has been a big let down in some ways this year, though I have tried to find an upside. I realized by the end of last year that I wouldn't be doing the work I signed on to do. Since then I've found I don't have much to do at all...we are overstaffed in my office, and my boss has no concept of "leadership" so I haven't really been given a clearly defined job to do. I've been taking on tasks as they come in, which is not really my strength (I'm best at the "long range" stuff) so I've been bored. That, in fact, is a big reason I volunteered for Afghanistan. I talked over the problem with my bosses when I left, but in the 5 months since I returned, nothing much has changed. Rather than complaining to them about it, I looked around for a position in another agency, but finally decided instead to take advantage of the free time I have at work to work on projects for other organizations and also start doing some serious planning for my post-government future. I also managed to publish a chapter in a book about the war in Iraq, so that's cool.
That planning, which I talked about at the end of last year, has moved forward. 2007 was my year to figure out what I want to do next, 2008 is my year to get things in place for the transition, and 2009 is the year it all comes together. So far this year I've developed a number of job plans and looked at the costs and benefits of all of them, trying to come up with the best option. I have a pretty good business plan laid out for my own consulting firm, and I'm also looking into teaching possibilities in the DC area. I still have some things to learn about, like marketing and such, but overall I have a decent idea and I want to start making it happen next year, testing the waters a bit. My goals are to have interesting work taking advantage of skills and knowledge I have, a flexible schedule, travel, and good money. While I'm wishing, I'd also like a pony. But hey, if you don't try, you can never succeed.
The one advantage of work this year has been the opportunity for travel. I've been to Hawaii twice, once for work and once for a combination of work and vacation. I've visited San Francisco twice, as well as Dallas and Tampa, and a trip to Atlanta which was very short and pretty boring. I also made it to Chicago, where I gave a paper but also got out of the hotel, which I don't often do on business trips to that city. Adrian and I also took a non-work trip to Puerto Rico for a long weekend last spring, and we met friends in New York back in February, while I also had a solo trip there in October. The big trip for me, of course, was to Asia in September, partially funded by work but also using the 10 vacation days I still had to use by the first of October. That. Was. Amazing. I got a day in Bangkok, though Bom had to go out of town and I wasn't able to see him. It was my first visit to Vietnam, and I got to spend a few days in Hanoi. Then I was off to Kuala Lumpur for 5 days, which was so much fun I still smile when I think of it. Afterwards I had 3 days in Hong Kong, which was a great time, then I headed back home and went to work the following day. Needless to say, I was a tired pup for a week. A planned trip to the Philippines for work got called off, though I hope to go in the coming year. I also am planning to get back to Singapore and Malaysia this year -- I got a research grant for a policy study and need to do some interviews in both countries. I'll probably add some Bangkok and Hong Kong time to that trip. And there are some other professional possibilities that might take me back to the region next year, though if that doesn't work out, I'll probably take a vacation over there.
As always, the best part of traveling is seeing old friends and meeting new ones. January's trip to Dallas led me to meet Ken from Bangkok who's now in Miami...a completely random meetup in a club, neither of us realizing the other was in town, and never having met before...how weird is that? In March I met Paulo while dancing in San Francisco, and in November we got to meet up again and go to dinner and get to know each other more than a dance floor with loud music allows. My time in Afghanistan allowed me to meet some professional colleagues who are pretty cool, so that was nice. After returning I saw I'd gotten e-mails from a couple folks on Fridae and after chatting with them I later got to meet them, so yay for meeting Eddie in Malaysia (who has tuned into a very special friend, someone who has captured his own place in my heart) and later Tony in Hong Kong. Also in HK I got to meet Eric, whom I've known over a year online but hadn't met yet. Of course, the big group meetup was in Kuala Lumpur, where I got to meet David, Frankie, Sam, Daniel, Paul, Alex, Jason, Jason Jr, Janvier, Cheryl, Thaddes, and Adrien. And of course, there was William...if you ask me why two people form a a strong emotional connection, I couldn't say, but if you ask me if it exists, I'd say YES! Can't explain it but I feel a special bond to William, and I think it's more than just the name thing. heh heh And no, it's not a physical thing, so the skanks among you can quit worrying about that. The last trip of the year, to Honolulu, led me to meet Kester, who is also friends with a couple people I know in Singapore...small world! And of course, October's trip to NYC led me to meet Paul, a very special guy who e-mailed me pretty much every day I was in Afghanistan, which helped...another "Fridae friend" who has tuned into a very cool real world friend. I also had the pleasure of meeting Joel on that trip, who is as funny and insightful in real life as he is on his blog that I've read for over a year.
This was also a year for new friends right here at home. Danny and I have finally gotten to know each other after a brief meeting in 2006. I met Vu and Troy and have gravitated into their circle of friends. Dan from Baltimore is another great guy I've gotten to know. And of course, Linh and I met late in the year and already I feel a strong friendship growing. I'm a lucky man.
Some of my existing friendships grew stronger this year. Ethan and I have gotten closer...the fact that we now work 2 blocks from each other makes it easier to get together during the week, and that's very cool. I got to meet up with Fritz a few times this year, both here and in Hawaii. Justin and I have gotten to know each other better as well. I didn't get to see Allan in Singapore this year, which is a real shame 'cuz I miss him, but I'll see him in the new year. Same with Bom. A few of my friends have had a rough time of it...one suffered a loss midway through the year, other friends have had serious problems in their relationships...but I think everyone is strong enough to bounce back from these and move forward.
It's been important to me to meet new friends and reconnect with old ones. Friends have always been the most important thing to me, and I've lost a part of that. It's time to reclaim them, reclaim that fun, and I'm glad I am. I think finally getting active on Facebook has helped. heh heh
As for me? I'm doing well, I think. I got serious about taking care of myself earlier in the year and managed to lose 20 pounds while adding muscle...much of that came from being in Afghanistan, with body armor all the time and nothing to do but work out after finishing my job, and of course I don't recommend that for everyone. I'm pleased I've been able to stay in good shape, though I have faltered during the holidays and will get back into my routine this week. After a few years of some serious body issues I'm actually happy with how I look now and am determined to maintain it for both health and looks. I'm also registered to run in two races next spring. In the last year I've explored some new interests, done a bit of new reading, and made goals for myself that I've later achieved, so that's all good. I may not be thrilled about everything in my life...and I may be a very different person from my normal self...but I think I'm in a good place right now.
The reason I'm a different person, and the reason I'm not totally content with where I am in life, is simple: Adrian and I. At the end of last year he said he wanted to work on things and try to get back together, but it's been a roller-coaster year as far as that goes. I've been up a few times but down most of the time, and that's why I tell many of my new friends "I wish you'd met me before all this because I'm really a much better person than I seem right now." The situation has been so confusing, and so complicated...I think most friends have given up trying to understand it, which is OK since I don't understand it myself. After 16 months of being depressed about it one thing is clear: it needs to get resolved, and soon, so my life can move forward again.
But we have still had some fun...a couple parties at the condo, the trips to Puerto Rico and Hawaii. When I look at the balance sheet for the year, I have to say it comes out with a profit rather than a loss. And I have next year to look forward to: getting ready for my post-government career, maybe doing some teaching, possible finishing writing one book and starting another (need to get to work on those). I also intend to meet some online friends: DanielHenry in KL, Harper and Luke Elijah in Singapore, Huy in Australia, and of course, Azhan in Malaysia (I'll try to sneak you-know-who into my suitcase for you!). I also plan to finally meet derek in Singapore...so strange that I've met his friends and his boyfriend but haven't actually met him yet. I expect to spend some more time in New York, hanging out with Scooter and getting to know Paul better. I'm hoping to see Kester again in Honolulu, and visit some new places: Taiwan, maybe, or Vancouver. I'm scheduled to go to Portland for work, and San Francisco too...that should be fun. I have tickets to see My Fair Lady at the Kennedy Center (thank you Adrian!) and the Spice Girls with Linh. I want to see my KL brothers again. I need to spend some time with Eddie in Malaysia and get Allan to slow down long enough for a hug or two or twelve. I hope to see Bom again and will visit Thailand simply for that reason. I would like my friendships here to grow stronger...I want people to know I'm not always such a mess, I'm actually someone they can count on. The bottom line is, I want to be happier, and I want to make everyone around me happier.
But isn't that what all of us want?
Happy New Year, everybody.
There are some things I mentioned last December that I was going to do that, unfortunately, didn't get done. I was planning to upload all my journal archives from before the big Diary-X crash, but the external hard drive where they're stored has crapped out on me and I can't get them off of it. I need to buy another drive and have someone go in and get the data off the bad one to transfer to the new one, but so far I've been lazy and haven't done that. Another thing I'd hoped to do was work on my dissertation, finally turning it into a book I can publish. I think there are some good ideas in there (and someone must agree...my dissertation spends a lot of time checked out of the two libraries where it resides) and I need to get it out into a more mainstream forum before time passes me by. I got going on it in earnest toward the end of the year at work but then some other things came up that took precedence. However, I've got a schedule for finishing it and I guess I can just bump the schedule a couple months and get back on it, and then I'll be fine.
Some totally unexpected things came up this year and I guess I should expect the same in 2008. The biggest was that I went to Afghanistan for 2 months, in June and July, to train the faculty at a military school. This was my second war (though, unlike Iraq where I got shot at every day, this time I only heard gunfire but never had it directed at me) and I think I'm done with the whole "war" thing. Of course, I thought that after Iraq, too. My time there was interesting and I felt I did some good, so even though there were some hardships there, at least it was rewarding. I have to say, though, that it hardened my resolve to get far away from the government when I leave my job in 2009.
My job has been a big let down in some ways this year, though I have tried to find an upside. I realized by the end of last year that I wouldn't be doing the work I signed on to do. Since then I've found I don't have much to do at all...we are overstaffed in my office, and my boss has no concept of "leadership" so I haven't really been given a clearly defined job to do. I've been taking on tasks as they come in, which is not really my strength (I'm best at the "long range" stuff) so I've been bored. That, in fact, is a big reason I volunteered for Afghanistan. I talked over the problem with my bosses when I left, but in the 5 months since I returned, nothing much has changed. Rather than complaining to them about it, I looked around for a position in another agency, but finally decided instead to take advantage of the free time I have at work to work on projects for other organizations and also start doing some serious planning for my post-government future. I also managed to publish a chapter in a book about the war in Iraq, so that's cool.
That planning, which I talked about at the end of last year, has moved forward. 2007 was my year to figure out what I want to do next, 2008 is my year to get things in place for the transition, and 2009 is the year it all comes together. So far this year I've developed a number of job plans and looked at the costs and benefits of all of them, trying to come up with the best option. I have a pretty good business plan laid out for my own consulting firm, and I'm also looking into teaching possibilities in the DC area. I still have some things to learn about, like marketing and such, but overall I have a decent idea and I want to start making it happen next year, testing the waters a bit. My goals are to have interesting work taking advantage of skills and knowledge I have, a flexible schedule, travel, and good money. While I'm wishing, I'd also like a pony. But hey, if you don't try, you can never succeed.
The one advantage of work this year has been the opportunity for travel. I've been to Hawaii twice, once for work and once for a combination of work and vacation. I've visited San Francisco twice, as well as Dallas and Tampa, and a trip to Atlanta which was very short and pretty boring. I also made it to Chicago, where I gave a paper but also got out of the hotel, which I don't often do on business trips to that city. Adrian and I also took a non-work trip to Puerto Rico for a long weekend last spring, and we met friends in New York back in February, while I also had a solo trip there in October. The big trip for me, of course, was to Asia in September, partially funded by work but also using the 10 vacation days I still had to use by the first of October. That. Was. Amazing. I got a day in Bangkok, though Bom had to go out of town and I wasn't able to see him. It was my first visit to Vietnam, and I got to spend a few days in Hanoi. Then I was off to Kuala Lumpur for 5 days, which was so much fun I still smile when I think of it. Afterwards I had 3 days in Hong Kong, which was a great time, then I headed back home and went to work the following day. Needless to say, I was a tired pup for a week. A planned trip to the Philippines for work got called off, though I hope to go in the coming year. I also am planning to get back to Singapore and Malaysia this year -- I got a research grant for a policy study and need to do some interviews in both countries. I'll probably add some Bangkok and Hong Kong time to that trip. And there are some other professional possibilities that might take me back to the region next year, though if that doesn't work out, I'll probably take a vacation over there.
As always, the best part of traveling is seeing old friends and meeting new ones. January's trip to Dallas led me to meet Ken from Bangkok who's now in Miami...a completely random meetup in a club, neither of us realizing the other was in town, and never having met before...how weird is that? In March I met Paulo while dancing in San Francisco, and in November we got to meet up again and go to dinner and get to know each other more than a dance floor with loud music allows. My time in Afghanistan allowed me to meet some professional colleagues who are pretty cool, so that was nice. After returning I saw I'd gotten e-mails from a couple folks on Fridae and after chatting with them I later got to meet them, so yay for meeting Eddie in Malaysia (who has tuned into a very special friend, someone who has captured his own place in my heart) and later Tony in Hong Kong. Also in HK I got to meet Eric, whom I've known over a year online but hadn't met yet. Of course, the big group meetup was in Kuala Lumpur, where I got to meet David, Frankie, Sam, Daniel, Paul, Alex, Jason, Jason Jr, Janvier, Cheryl, Thaddes, and Adrien. And of course, there was William...if you ask me why two people form a a strong emotional connection, I couldn't say, but if you ask me if it exists, I'd say YES! Can't explain it but I feel a special bond to William, and I think it's more than just the name thing. heh heh And no, it's not a physical thing, so the skanks among you can quit worrying about that. The last trip of the year, to Honolulu, led me to meet Kester, who is also friends with a couple people I know in Singapore...small world! And of course, October's trip to NYC led me to meet Paul, a very special guy who e-mailed me pretty much every day I was in Afghanistan, which helped...another "Fridae friend" who has tuned into a very cool real world friend. I also had the pleasure of meeting Joel on that trip, who is as funny and insightful in real life as he is on his blog that I've read for over a year.
This was also a year for new friends right here at home. Danny and I have finally gotten to know each other after a brief meeting in 2006. I met Vu and Troy and have gravitated into their circle of friends. Dan from Baltimore is another great guy I've gotten to know. And of course, Linh and I met late in the year and already I feel a strong friendship growing. I'm a lucky man.
Some of my existing friendships grew stronger this year. Ethan and I have gotten closer...the fact that we now work 2 blocks from each other makes it easier to get together during the week, and that's very cool. I got to meet up with Fritz a few times this year, both here and in Hawaii. Justin and I have gotten to know each other better as well. I didn't get to see Allan in Singapore this year, which is a real shame 'cuz I miss him, but I'll see him in the new year. Same with Bom. A few of my friends have had a rough time of it...one suffered a loss midway through the year, other friends have had serious problems in their relationships...but I think everyone is strong enough to bounce back from these and move forward.
It's been important to me to meet new friends and reconnect with old ones. Friends have always been the most important thing to me, and I've lost a part of that. It's time to reclaim them, reclaim that fun, and I'm glad I am. I think finally getting active on Facebook has helped. heh heh
As for me? I'm doing well, I think. I got serious about taking care of myself earlier in the year and managed to lose 20 pounds while adding muscle...much of that came from being in Afghanistan, with body armor all the time and nothing to do but work out after finishing my job, and of course I don't recommend that for everyone. I'm pleased I've been able to stay in good shape, though I have faltered during the holidays and will get back into my routine this week. After a few years of some serious body issues I'm actually happy with how I look now and am determined to maintain it for both health and looks. I'm also registered to run in two races next spring. In the last year I've explored some new interests, done a bit of new reading, and made goals for myself that I've later achieved, so that's all good. I may not be thrilled about everything in my life...and I may be a very different person from my normal self...but I think I'm in a good place right now.
The reason I'm a different person, and the reason I'm not totally content with where I am in life, is simple: Adrian and I. At the end of last year he said he wanted to work on things and try to get back together, but it's been a roller-coaster year as far as that goes. I've been up a few times but down most of the time, and that's why I tell many of my new friends "I wish you'd met me before all this because I'm really a much better person than I seem right now." The situation has been so confusing, and so complicated...I think most friends have given up trying to understand it, which is OK since I don't understand it myself. After 16 months of being depressed about it one thing is clear: it needs to get resolved, and soon, so my life can move forward again.
But we have still had some fun...a couple parties at the condo, the trips to Puerto Rico and Hawaii. When I look at the balance sheet for the year, I have to say it comes out with a profit rather than a loss. And I have next year to look forward to: getting ready for my post-government career, maybe doing some teaching, possible finishing writing one book and starting another (need to get to work on those). I also intend to meet some online friends: DanielHenry in KL, Harper and Luke Elijah in Singapore, Huy in Australia, and of course, Azhan in Malaysia (I'll try to sneak you-know-who into my suitcase for you!). I also plan to finally meet derek in Singapore...so strange that I've met his friends and his boyfriend but haven't actually met him yet. I expect to spend some more time in New York, hanging out with Scooter and getting to know Paul better. I'm hoping to see Kester again in Honolulu, and visit some new places: Taiwan, maybe, or Vancouver. I'm scheduled to go to Portland for work, and San Francisco too...that should be fun. I have tickets to see My Fair Lady at the Kennedy Center (thank you Adrian!) and the Spice Girls with Linh. I want to see my KL brothers again. I need to spend some time with Eddie in Malaysia and get Allan to slow down long enough for a hug or two or twelve. I hope to see Bom again and will visit Thailand simply for that reason. I would like my friendships here to grow stronger...I want people to know I'm not always such a mess, I'm actually someone they can count on. The bottom line is, I want to be happier, and I want to make everyone around me happier.
But isn't that what all of us want?
Happy New Year, everybody.
Labels: Friends, Life, Questions, Relationships, Teaching, Travel, Wandering Mind, Work
Friday, December 28, 2007
Friends Old and New
Christmas Day was nice...spent it with my folks, and it was pretty low-key. My aunt, uncle, cousin, and great aunt came to visit in the morning...a little bittersweet, as my uncle learned right after Thanksgiving that he had a brain tumor. he had surgery soon afterward but the prognosis for such things is not good. A reminder for all of us to enjoy life while we can for it may change dramatically in a matter of moments.
Not to make this a depressing post...the day was nice, and he is doing well, and all is as best as can be because people are making it such.
Once they left my folks and I had our Christmas. I had found them some nice gifts, nothing too ostentatious...they're in their 60s, it's not like there's much they don't have. I just got them some things that I knew are just right for them (I tend to put a lot of thought into getting the right gifts -- I think the thought means as much as the gift itself -- maybe I'm just silly). I brought my dad a Buddha from Afghanistan...I'm not sure if my dad is Buddhist or Wiccan or some unlabled belief, but I figure not many people have a Buddha from Afghanistan so he might enjoy it. For Mom, I got her CDs from all the Broadway shows we saw on last year's trip. I also got her a digital picture viewer on a key ring so she can take photos with her and show them off to her friends. Naturally, I loaded it up with 30 pics of me and none of my brother, thus making me "the good son." But we'll get him loaded in there too.
While setting up her keychain software on her new computer (I'd spent a few hours seting that up as well) I accidentally deleted the photos I'd loaded on her viewer. I sheepishly told her I'd have to take it home and reload...only then did I remember that my laptop, with all the photos on it, was sitting 10 feet away. Yeah, I'm stupid sometimes. But Mom got her keychain.
Drove the 4 hours back to DC that evening and Adrian and I had our Christmas. Lots of sexy underwear was exchanged (I got the good end of the deal on that). Adrian got some books on fashion design (his newest passion) and some DVDs, and also a digital picture frame, something I know he's wanted for a while. And what did I get from Adrian? heh heh heh...
YAY!!!!!!
So yes, I have fallen in love with this phone in just a few short days. So much fun! I set it up with the phone company in about 10 minutes online. Adrian was my first phone call, and soon WililamNYK was popping my SMS Inbox cherry.
Wednesday, Adrian and I both worked, though he worked 11 hours and I worked 2. Afterwards I went off to take advantage of the post-Christmas sale at Sisley (I need a new suit...my old ones are now way too big). I found one, perfect fit, and about 25% off, and yes, I look fabulous in it, thank you for asking. It was a rainy day so I headed back out soon afterwards and was having coffee when I got a SMS from one of the guys, Hai, I'd met at the party Saturday. He was stuck in the District for another 5 hours waiting for a friend to get off work, so I went in to keep him company. We met at Starbucks and were soon joined by his friend Edgar (not the friend he was waiting for). Coffee led to dinner and we were all having fun, so when Hai learned his friend was delayed at work it was cool. We ended up in a sex toy shop then went off to another coffee house I'd never been to. By the time they kicked us out Hai's friend had shown up and they were off, while I drove Edgar home. Hai is lots of fun and I'm happy to be hanging out with him (which we'll do again soon) and Edgar is a wonderful guy, very smart and lots of fun to talk to...a shame he goes to school 80 miles away but at least he's here for now and we get to hang out.
Oh, and I didn't get home until almost 3:30. Hai said "this is why I think you seem so young...most guys your age wouldn't stay out with us until so late." True, but in all fairness, I wasn't going into work Thursday. I should also point out that when Edgar and I met he asked "are you a student too?" I was almost speechless, which never happens, and of course he became practically my best friend just by asking that.
Thursday I met up with Justin and we spent the day together for the first time in a long time...we haven't hung out since I got back from Afghanistan. Seen each other yes, and he's been here for a couple parties, but no quality time. His blog is being published as a book in Taiwan next year...so cool. For one blogging project he's been visiting the different universitites here in DC so we went to one he hadn't been to (Hai's university, as it turns out). Then we headed to the National Portrait Gallery, which neither of us had seen since it reopened. When it was time for lunch we happened to be in Chinatown but Justin made it clear that DC Chinatown restaurants are not up to his standards, and I trust him implicitly. We ended up in a Burmese restaurant owned by a fellow AJ/PLU/whatever...I know I've been there before but can't recall with whom. FaTAStic food! Then we made our way to a mall just to window shop, though I was looking for a winter coat. I saw a few I liked in Kenneth Cole and Armani Exchange but even on sale they were a bit much. Then we ended up in Forever 21 and I stumbled across this one coat, not exactly what I was looking for but thought I'd try it on...walked over to Justin and asked "what do you think?" and he turned around and his eyes got big and he said "wow." And I haven't heard him say "wow" in a long time. I went off to find a mirror and it DID look fabulous. A straight guy standing there even said "wow!" and complained he'd been looking for a coat and couldn't find one and here this one was fitting me perfectly (not that many straight guys feel comfortable telling other guys how great their clothes look on them so yay for him). So with Justin saying "wow" and random straight boys complimenting me, I knew I had to get it. And it only cost 1/3 as much as the others so hooray!
Today I visited with Waki-kun for a few hours, talking about his grad school aspirations, his relationships, job prospects here in the US (he's from Japan) and other things that might happen with him. We ended up in a leather shop where he appeared shocked but he forgets the stories he's told me about what he and his ex used to do. He was telling me about a friend at one point and I said, "hmmm, I don't think I know him," and he replied, "well, he's not Asian." And he was serious. You know I ddo know some non-Asian people. Like Edgar fpr instance, who is Latino. Anyway, Waki-kun's a sweet guy and I want him to be happy but he seems determined to make himself sad. I hope he can relax and enjoy life and figure what will make him happy and then do it. He's putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on himself but he can turn it around if he wants.
Tonight Danny came back from Hong Kong. I was going to pick him up but his flight was delayed 2 hours and Adrian and I had movie plans so Danny was left taking the Metro, followed by a bus, back to his apartment. Then we got to the theater and the movie was sold out and we were right across the street from the Metro station...fate was obviously saying we needed to pick him up and drive him home, which we did.
Oh, and I got a SMS from Eddie in Malaysia today, YAY!!!!! I owe him a long e-mail, I think.
Saturday is going to be some "me" time. Though I'm hoping to see Danny. And then go to a party thrown by the same people we were with LAST Saturday.
And so the cycle begins again...
Not to make this a depressing post...the day was nice, and he is doing well, and all is as best as can be because people are making it such.
Once they left my folks and I had our Christmas. I had found them some nice gifts, nothing too ostentatious...they're in their 60s, it's not like there's much they don't have. I just got them some things that I knew are just right for them (I tend to put a lot of thought into getting the right gifts -- I think the thought means as much as the gift itself -- maybe I'm just silly). I brought my dad a Buddha from Afghanistan...I'm not sure if my dad is Buddhist or Wiccan or some unlabled belief, but I figure not many people have a Buddha from Afghanistan so he might enjoy it. For Mom, I got her CDs from all the Broadway shows we saw on last year's trip. I also got her a digital picture viewer on a key ring so she can take photos with her and show them off to her friends. Naturally, I loaded it up with 30 pics of me and none of my brother, thus making me "the good son." But we'll get him loaded in there too.
While setting up her keychain software on her new computer (I'd spent a few hours seting that up as well) I accidentally deleted the photos I'd loaded on her viewer. I sheepishly told her I'd have to take it home and reload...only then did I remember that my laptop, with all the photos on it, was sitting 10 feet away. Yeah, I'm stupid sometimes. But Mom got her keychain.
Drove the 4 hours back to DC that evening and Adrian and I had our Christmas. Lots of sexy underwear was exchanged (I got the good end of the deal on that). Adrian got some books on fashion design (his newest passion) and some DVDs, and also a digital picture frame, something I know he's wanted for a while. And what did I get from Adrian? heh heh heh...
YAY!!!!!!
So yes, I have fallen in love with this phone in just a few short days. So much fun! I set it up with the phone company in about 10 minutes online. Adrian was my first phone call, and soon WililamNYK was popping my SMS Inbox cherry.
Wednesday, Adrian and I both worked, though he worked 11 hours and I worked 2. Afterwards I went off to take advantage of the post-Christmas sale at Sisley (I need a new suit...my old ones are now way too big). I found one, perfect fit, and about 25% off, and yes, I look fabulous in it, thank you for asking. It was a rainy day so I headed back out soon afterwards and was having coffee when I got a SMS from one of the guys, Hai, I'd met at the party Saturday. He was stuck in the District for another 5 hours waiting for a friend to get off work, so I went in to keep him company. We met at Starbucks and were soon joined by his friend Edgar (not the friend he was waiting for). Coffee led to dinner and we were all having fun, so when Hai learned his friend was delayed at work it was cool. We ended up in a sex toy shop then went off to another coffee house I'd never been to. By the time they kicked us out Hai's friend had shown up and they were off, while I drove Edgar home. Hai is lots of fun and I'm happy to be hanging out with him (which we'll do again soon) and Edgar is a wonderful guy, very smart and lots of fun to talk to...a shame he goes to school 80 miles away but at least he's here for now and we get to hang out.
Oh, and I didn't get home until almost 3:30. Hai said "this is why I think you seem so young...most guys your age wouldn't stay out with us until so late." True, but in all fairness, I wasn't going into work Thursday. I should also point out that when Edgar and I met he asked "are you a student too?" I was almost speechless, which never happens, and of course he became practically my best friend just by asking that.
Thursday I met up with Justin and we spent the day together for the first time in a long time...we haven't hung out since I got back from Afghanistan. Seen each other yes, and he's been here for a couple parties, but no quality time. His blog is being published as a book in Taiwan next year...so cool. For one blogging project he's been visiting the different universitites here in DC so we went to one he hadn't been to (Hai's university, as it turns out). Then we headed to the National Portrait Gallery, which neither of us had seen since it reopened. When it was time for lunch we happened to be in Chinatown but Justin made it clear that DC Chinatown restaurants are not up to his standards, and I trust him implicitly. We ended up in a Burmese restaurant owned by a fellow AJ/PLU/whatever...I know I've been there before but can't recall with whom. FaTAStic food! Then we made our way to a mall just to window shop, though I was looking for a winter coat. I saw a few I liked in Kenneth Cole and Armani Exchange but even on sale they were a bit much. Then we ended up in Forever 21 and I stumbled across this one coat, not exactly what I was looking for but thought I'd try it on...walked over to Justin and asked "what do you think?" and he turned around and his eyes got big and he said "wow." And I haven't heard him say "wow" in a long time. I went off to find a mirror and it DID look fabulous. A straight guy standing there even said "wow!" and complained he'd been looking for a coat and couldn't find one and here this one was fitting me perfectly (not that many straight guys feel comfortable telling other guys how great their clothes look on them so yay for him). So with Justin saying "wow" and random straight boys complimenting me, I knew I had to get it. And it only cost 1/3 as much as the others so hooray!
Today I visited with Waki-kun for a few hours, talking about his grad school aspirations, his relationships, job prospects here in the US (he's from Japan) and other things that might happen with him. We ended up in a leather shop where he appeared shocked but he forgets the stories he's told me about what he and his ex used to do. He was telling me about a friend at one point and I said, "hmmm, I don't think I know him," and he replied, "well, he's not Asian." And he was serious. You know I ddo know some non-Asian people. Like Edgar fpr instance, who is Latino. Anyway, Waki-kun's a sweet guy and I want him to be happy but he seems determined to make himself sad. I hope he can relax and enjoy life and figure what will make him happy and then do it. He's putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on himself but he can turn it around if he wants.
Tonight Danny came back from Hong Kong. I was going to pick him up but his flight was delayed 2 hours and Adrian and I had movie plans so Danny was left taking the Metro, followed by a bus, back to his apartment. Then we got to the theater and the movie was sold out and we were right across the street from the Metro station...fate was obviously saying we needed to pick him up and drive him home, which we did.
Oh, and I got a SMS from Eddie in Malaysia today, YAY!!!!! I owe him a long e-mail, I think.
Saturday is going to be some "me" time. Though I'm hoping to see Danny. And then go to a party thrown by the same people we were with LAST Saturday.
And so the cycle begins again...
Monday, December 24, 2007
'Twas the Night Before Christmas
Christmas Eve at my parents' house. They finally have broadband, and I have spent much of the last 36 hours setting up their new computer, so yay for all of that. Drove down here Sunday and have been lazy ever since. Except for wrapping Christmas presents and setting up the new Dell, I've pretty much been letting Mom take care of me, and that's nice...I've done a lot the last couple weeks, between baking, shopping, a small party, oh, and working sometimes too, I suppose. It's nice to take a break.
Had a very fun weekend, especially Saturday night. A friend works at a local Asian bistro and they've been recently started running a Saturday night party there until 2am, with a DJ and small dance floor. They decided that, to increase the crowd, they wanted to encourage "the gays" to come out. And we did. Only about 12-15 of us, but it was plenty. The place was packed with starigt (mostly Asian) people, and though at first us fab boys were just chatting and having to drinks and getting to know each other (I only knew my friend, Adrian actually knew one other guy from Fridae), we soon hit the dance floor. Some of us were REALLY out and proud, some were just super sexy, and some were...well, we just were. I'm not sure what the straight people thought...some seemed a little uncomfortable with us dancing all up on each other (yeah, by the end of the night, we got to know each other very well). I think most of the women thought it was great, some of the guys semed a little less sure, some obviously were cool with it, and some looked like they wanted to join us (but their girlfriends might be upset). Even though we were in the minority, no one looked like they would bother us...I think if you have two guys dancing together in a straight club they might have trouble, but when you have 10 or 12 (and a couple of the guys were totalley buffed) nobody wants to challenge you because they might have a dozen guys jump them, and not in the good way. I think my Gaylaysian friends have discovered this, since when I saw them out in a crowd (and from party pics I've recently seen) they don't hide stuff but aren't too worried about it.
Best line of the night: as we're leaving the club around 2:30am, in a crowd of a dozen of us, mostly Latino, black, or Asian, we are making a bit of noise. One of the guys says "quiet, we don't want cops coming after us, there are lots of white people living here!" The he turns to me: "Oh, hey, no offense."
heh heh None taken.
So yeah, lots of fun was had, I have found some new folks who will be fun to hang out with, and yeah, some of them are VERY cute, giving me all sorts of naughty thoughts to last me during my time at my parents' house (notice how I came full circle there?).
Tomorrow is Christmas and that will be a nice family day here. I'll head back to DC Tuesday afternoon (I'm working Wednesday) and Adrian and I will have Christmas Tuesday night. Hope he likes his gifts!
I've tried to send cards, or at least e-mails, to folks, but I know there are some I've missed. I don't have access to my regular e-mail here, and I'm out of cell phone range so text/SMS doesn't work. So for anyone I've missed (and this especially goes out to you, Eddie) MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!
Had a very fun weekend, especially Saturday night. A friend works at a local Asian bistro and they've been recently started running a Saturday night party there until 2am, with a DJ and small dance floor. They decided that, to increase the crowd, they wanted to encourage "the gays" to come out. And we did. Only about 12-15 of us, but it was plenty. The place was packed with starigt (mostly Asian) people, and though at first us fab boys were just chatting and having to drinks and getting to know each other (I only knew my friend, Adrian actually knew one other guy from Fridae), we soon hit the dance floor. Some of us were REALLY out and proud, some were just super sexy, and some were...well, we just were. I'm not sure what the straight people thought...some seemed a little uncomfortable with us dancing all up on each other (yeah, by the end of the night, we got to know each other very well). I think most of the women thought it was great, some of the guys semed a little less sure, some obviously were cool with it, and some looked like they wanted to join us (but their girlfriends might be upset). Even though we were in the minority, no one looked like they would bother us...I think if you have two guys dancing together in a straight club they might have trouble, but when you have 10 or 12 (and a couple of the guys were totalley buffed) nobody wants to challenge you because they might have a dozen guys jump them, and not in the good way. I think my Gaylaysian friends have discovered this, since when I saw them out in a crowd (and from party pics I've recently seen) they don't hide stuff but aren't too worried about it.
Best line of the night: as we're leaving the club around 2:30am, in a crowd of a dozen of us, mostly Latino, black, or Asian, we are making a bit of noise. One of the guys says "quiet, we don't want cops coming after us, there are lots of white people living here!" The he turns to me: "Oh, hey, no offense."
heh heh None taken.
So yeah, lots of fun was had, I have found some new folks who will be fun to hang out with, and yeah, some of them are VERY cute, giving me all sorts of naughty thoughts to last me during my time at my parents' house (notice how I came full circle there?).
Tomorrow is Christmas and that will be a nice family day here. I'll head back to DC Tuesday afternoon (I'm working Wednesday) and Adrian and I will have Christmas Tuesday night. Hope he likes his gifts!
I've tried to send cards, or at least e-mails, to folks, but I know there are some I've missed. I don't have access to my regular e-mail here, and I'm out of cell phone range so text/SMS doesn't work. So for anyone I've missed (and this especially goes out to you, Eddie) MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!
Labels: Bars, Flirting, Friends, Life
Friday, December 14, 2007
Top Chef (well, Versatile Chef, actually)
Tonight I started doing my Christmas baking for real...so "for real" that I didn't go out dancing as planned. Saturday night, I think that will happen. I still have some stuff to do but I think I will finish Saturday afternoon.
Look, an apron...he must know what he's doing!
This is nothing more than butter and sugar
Now it's butter and sugar and green food coloring...oh, and peppermint. Then it gets rolled into lots of small pieces. Tomorrow they get dipped in chocolate. Just like I'd like to be.
I went to school here. But only for 5 hours one day.
These are soon going to be white chocolate and cranberry cookies.
See? Told you so!
More food to follow later in the weekend.
Look, an apron...he must know what he's doing!
This is nothing more than butter and sugar
Now it's butter and sugar and green food coloring...oh, and peppermint. Then it gets rolled into lots of small pieces. Tomorrow they get dipped in chocolate. Just like I'd like to be.
I went to school here. But only for 5 hours one day.
These are soon going to be white chocolate and cranberry cookies.
See? Told you so!
More food to follow later in the weekend.
Labels: Life
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Now THAT'S a Party
What does the grocery store clerk think when I come through the line with 8 bottles of white wine, 4 bottles of red wine, and a bag of frozen tater tots? Oh, and a 2-liter bottle of Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi?
Tonight I made a pumpkin cheesecake and some cookies for the pre-Thanksgiving get-togetether at Dan's Delaware beach house this weekend. Driving up there Friday after work, should be fun. No beach, it's COLD this weekend. But there's a hot tub, and 13 gay men.
Because of baking tonight I didn't run, so I need to get up early tomorrow and go to the gym. I give that about a 50% chance of happening.
Oh, and QR and Ikanbillis...yes, Ethan will be there this weekend. I'll take photos for you.
Tonight I made a pumpkin cheesecake and some cookies for the pre-Thanksgiving get-togetether at Dan's Delaware beach house this weekend. Driving up there Friday after work, should be fun. No beach, it's COLD this weekend. But there's a hot tub, and 13 gay men.
Because of baking tonight I didn't run, so I need to get up early tomorrow and go to the gym. I give that about a 50% chance of happening.
Oh, and QR and Ikanbillis...yes, Ethan will be there this weekend. I'll take photos for you.
Labels: Life, Wandering Mind
Monday, November 12, 2007
Family Time
I went to the University of Virginia, my alma mater, today. Such a special place for me...despite the changes it remains pretty much the most important place on Earth to me.
Wow...that's kinda heavy.
Anyway, I was there to see my cousin, who really hasn't developed the social skills to function well there. But at least today we had a long talk for a couple hours. He and I have never had a real conversation before...usually his mom (my aunt) answers for him. Sad, really. But she wasn't there today so he was on his own.
Funny...we didn't recognize each other at first. He's gotten bigger with more hair, I've gotten smaller with much better hair...and I looked more like a student than he did. Want proof? Later in the day I was in the student union and a lady came up and said "excuse me, I'm doing a survey...are you a student here?" Um, no. I was, though. 20 years ago. heh heh
The next time there is a solo terrorist like the Unabomber I'm going to assume it's my cousin. Seriously, he fits the profile.
Oh, and it's "Proud to be Out" week there. So yay for all the gayboys and girls!!!
OK, enough of that. Here's some more from last Saturday's party, since QR and Ikanbillis can't get enough of the purple shirt and white shirt, respectively.
Wow...that's kinda heavy.
Anyway, I was there to see my cousin, who really hasn't developed the social skills to function well there. But at least today we had a long talk for a couple hours. He and I have never had a real conversation before...usually his mom (my aunt) answers for him. Sad, really. But she wasn't there today so he was on his own.
Funny...we didn't recognize each other at first. He's gotten bigger with more hair, I've gotten smaller with much better hair...and I looked more like a student than he did. Want proof? Later in the day I was in the student union and a lady came up and said "excuse me, I'm doing a survey...are you a student here?" Um, no. I was, though. 20 years ago. heh heh
The next time there is a solo terrorist like the Unabomber I'm going to assume it's my cousin. Seriously, he fits the profile.
Oh, and it's "Proud to be Out" week there. So yay for all the gayboys and girls!!!
OK, enough of that. Here's some more from last Saturday's party, since QR and Ikanbillis can't get enough of the purple shirt and white shirt, respectively.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Nothing Going On
Not much to report today. Took the day off from work to get the car fixed, blah blah blah, had the battery replaced, yadda yadda yadda, helped a friend with his graduate school application, and so on and so on, got an e-mail from the office that my boss' boss is upset that she's been cut out of something that I've been working on. Oops. Pretty sure I'm not to blame on that one, not that that matters in the end.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Doctor, Heal Thyself
On the phone with a friend tonight, I ended up giving him some advice after events this weekend made him sad. My advice basically consisted of, "if you're unhappy, look at what you might be doing yourself that makes you unhappy and consider changing it." My friend has put some limitations on himself that leave him unfulfilled. While he gets some satisfaction from living up to them, he might get more satisfaction if he didn't, just so long as he doesn't hurt anyone.
Anyway, as I'm telling him he should focus on his happiness, we only get one life (even if there's an afterlife, I bet we start all over again, and next time we might not be fabulously gay), rather than letting life pass him by he should enjoy it and open up all kinds of new possibiilties in the process...yeah, as I'm telling him this, a tiny, quiet whisper of a voice somewhere in the back of my head is saying "HEY, YOU IDIOT!!! WHY DON'T YOU TRY TAKING THAT ADVICE YOURSELF SOMETIME INSTEAD OF LETTING YOURSELF BE TOTALLY UNHAPPY FOR A YEAR OR SO!?!?!?" WHY DON'T YOU FIX WHATEVER'S MAKING YOU UNHAPPY?!?!?!?!"
Yeah, my inner voice has a bit of a 'tude.
Anyway, point taken.
Anyway, as I'm telling him he should focus on his happiness, we only get one life (even if there's an afterlife, I bet we start all over again, and next time we might not be fabulously gay), rather than letting life pass him by he should enjoy it and open up all kinds of new possibiilties in the process...yeah, as I'm telling him this, a tiny, quiet whisper of a voice somewhere in the back of my head is saying "HEY, YOU IDIOT!!! WHY DON'T YOU TRY TAKING THAT ADVICE YOURSELF SOMETIME INSTEAD OF LETTING YOURSELF BE TOTALLY UNHAPPY FOR A YEAR OR SO!?!?!?" WHY DON'T YOU FIX WHATEVER'S MAKING YOU UNHAPPY?!?!?!?!"
Yeah, my inner voice has a bit of a 'tude.
Anyway, point taken.
Labels: Life, Wandering Mind
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Soft Weekend
A good weekend I guess, if a little quiet. But considering all the socializing Saturday through Wednesday, I guess having a slower weekend was OK.
Friday night Adrian and I ventured out to see a movie, The Bourne Ultimatum. I was dizzy by the time it was over but it was a good flick. I've read the original Bourne novels and they were good, though they tended to drag at times (Jason Bourne is one of the most pedantic heroes I've ever seen in a novel, but Matt damon cut his 3-page soliloquies down to "yeah, that's right."). This movie was better than the other Bourne movies, i thought. We saw it at a second-run theater...the movie came out while i was in Afghanistan I think so I didn't see it the first time around. Either that or I was too blinded by my desire to see Hairspray and missed this one. This theater serves food too, which is cool, as I always like to have a burger and a beer with my movie.
That was it for Friday night...we thought about meeting up with Linh after he finished a long dinner with friends, but by the time he was done Adrian was falling asleep on the couch so we saved that for another night. Like, the next night.
Saturday was mostly spent running errands and trying to clear some old clothes out of the closet...if you haven't worn it in a year it needs to go, is what I've heard, and it worked here. That night we went to a country and bluegrass music concert near here...a group I've enjoyed before and saw in Colorado was here that night so off we went. A good time was had, though they didn't play all my favorite songs...that's OK, got 'em on iTunes. Afterwards we met up with Linh in town for drinks, which is nice, because now I can go hang out with Linh without Adrian saying "now, who is this again?" He's a good guy I'm happy to know and am enjoying getting to know better.
Today felt a bit off because we changed the clocks backwards an hour last night, and I always feel off balance when we do that. Got up today and went running with Ethan...since running the marathon last weekend he seems determined to get Adrian and I to run some races next year, so we started with a 5-mile jaunt today. I can handle that -- my regular cardiac workout is 4-5 miles on a machine -- but it'll be interesting to see what happens once he starts pushing us to double-digit mileage.
After getting home Adrian and I made a dim sum lunch with steamed dumplings, shumai, and pork buns, and ate way too much (we ended up not eating dinner tonight because we were too stuffed). Somehow we stumbled across a sitcom called The Big Bang Theory and watched a couple episodes on CBS.com. It's all about these PhDs who are complete nerds...in other words, total fiction! (seriously, I'm not nerd-like...am I?). Cute show. And then it was time for some reading, and then the Sunday night Fox cartoons, and before you know it, it's time for blogging and bed.
Which sounds like a great idea. The bed part, that is.
Friday night Adrian and I ventured out to see a movie, The Bourne Ultimatum. I was dizzy by the time it was over but it was a good flick. I've read the original Bourne novels and they were good, though they tended to drag at times (Jason Bourne is one of the most pedantic heroes I've ever seen in a novel, but Matt damon cut his 3-page soliloquies down to "yeah, that's right."). This movie was better than the other Bourne movies, i thought. We saw it at a second-run theater...the movie came out while i was in Afghanistan I think so I didn't see it the first time around. Either that or I was too blinded by my desire to see Hairspray and missed this one. This theater serves food too, which is cool, as I always like to have a burger and a beer with my movie.
That was it for Friday night...we thought about meeting up with Linh after he finished a long dinner with friends, but by the time he was done Adrian was falling asleep on the couch so we saved that for another night. Like, the next night.
Saturday was mostly spent running errands and trying to clear some old clothes out of the closet...if you haven't worn it in a year it needs to go, is what I've heard, and it worked here. That night we went to a country and bluegrass music concert near here...a group I've enjoyed before and saw in Colorado was here that night so off we went. A good time was had, though they didn't play all my favorite songs...that's OK, got 'em on iTunes. Afterwards we met up with Linh in town for drinks, which is nice, because now I can go hang out with Linh without Adrian saying "now, who is this again?" He's a good guy I'm happy to know and am enjoying getting to know better.
Today felt a bit off because we changed the clocks backwards an hour last night, and I always feel off balance when we do that. Got up today and went running with Ethan...since running the marathon last weekend he seems determined to get Adrian and I to run some races next year, so we started with a 5-mile jaunt today. I can handle that -- my regular cardiac workout is 4-5 miles on a machine -- but it'll be interesting to see what happens once he starts pushing us to double-digit mileage.
After getting home Adrian and I made a dim sum lunch with steamed dumplings, shumai, and pork buns, and ate way too much (we ended up not eating dinner tonight because we were too stuffed). Somehow we stumbled across a sitcom called The Big Bang Theory and watched a couple episodes on CBS.com. It's all about these PhDs who are complete nerds...in other words, total fiction! (seriously, I'm not nerd-like...am I?). Cute show. And then it was time for some reading, and then the Sunday night Fox cartoons, and before you know it, it's time for blogging and bed.
Which sounds like a great idea. The bed part, that is.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Run, Ethan, Run
I'm getting a day behind on my journal so it's time to get caught up.
Sunday I went to see Ethan finish running his first marathon. He completed the 26.2 mile (42.1648 km) Marine Corps Marathon in just over four and a half hours.
Ethan got into training for the marathon after his friend (and now my friend) Vu invited him last spring. They trained all through the summer, running every other day, either after work or at 5am on Saturdays. They also worked out at the gym 5 days a week. In the end, Ethan ran along with Vu and Vu's cousin Louise, and they all finished the race.
It's been hard getting the chance to see Ethan these last few months, what with his training schedule and all. In addition to the marathon he's helped other friends out by appearing in local dance productions and modeling contests, all in addiiton to starting a new job. I have been very impressed by Ethan's dedication to his goal and the balance he somehow maintains in his life...while his life right now is not exactly what I would want for myself -- everyone is unique, of course -- the example he is setting is one I hope to emulate.
More pics are available here. And yes I do have some other Ethan pics that I will post soon, for someone out there who really likes to see them. (He stopped by last night to borrow one of Adrian's suits, and suddenly there were wigs involved)
Last night I got a call from Linh to borrow some of my clothes from Afghanistan for a Halloween costume. After trying on a few things he decided on a set then we hung out and talked and looked at photos for a while. Nice night.
Tonight Adrian and I and a bunch of friends went to see the annual 17th Street High Heel Race here in Washington DC. This is a big race consisting of drag queens running down the gayest street in town. It starts with a 2-hour "work the runway" parade, followed by a 100-yard dash. I was there to support Dayna, who raced as Mulan (her photos are in my Halloween party pics from this weekend).
Then got home and found that my car, which has a dead battery, is parked in a spot that as of 7am tomorrow needs to be vacated for some building renovation work. After a bit of scrambling I managed to jump start it and move it out of danger. This was not what I needed, after Adrian and I had a late night argument Monday that left me with only 2 hours of sleep. there are some dark storm clouds brewing over that one.
But then I got to finish baking cookies for an office function tomorrow, so that's cool.
Sunday I went to see Ethan finish running his first marathon. He completed the 26.2 mile (42.1648 km) Marine Corps Marathon in just over four and a half hours.
Ethan got into training for the marathon after his friend (and now my friend) Vu invited him last spring. They trained all through the summer, running every other day, either after work or at 5am on Saturdays. They also worked out at the gym 5 days a week. In the end, Ethan ran along with Vu and Vu's cousin Louise, and they all finished the race.
It's been hard getting the chance to see Ethan these last few months, what with his training schedule and all. In addition to the marathon he's helped other friends out by appearing in local dance productions and modeling contests, all in addiiton to starting a new job. I have been very impressed by Ethan's dedication to his goal and the balance he somehow maintains in his life...while his life right now is not exactly what I would want for myself -- everyone is unique, of course -- the example he is setting is one I hope to emulate.
More pics are available here. And yes I do have some other Ethan pics that I will post soon, for someone out there who really likes to see them. (He stopped by last night to borrow one of Adrian's suits, and suddenly there were wigs involved)
Last night I got a call from Linh to borrow some of my clothes from Afghanistan for a Halloween costume. After trying on a few things he decided on a set then we hung out and talked and looked at photos for a while. Nice night.
Tonight Adrian and I and a bunch of friends went to see the annual 17th Street High Heel Race here in Washington DC. This is a big race consisting of drag queens running down the gayest street in town. It starts with a 2-hour "work the runway" parade, followed by a 100-yard dash. I was there to support Dayna, who raced as Mulan (her photos are in my Halloween party pics from this weekend).
Then got home and found that my car, which has a dead battery, is parked in a spot that as of 7am tomorrow needs to be vacated for some building renovation work. After a bit of scrambling I managed to jump start it and move it out of danger. This was not what I needed, after Adrian and I had a late night argument Monday that left me with only 2 hours of sleep. there are some dark storm clouds brewing over that one.
But then I got to finish baking cookies for an office function tomorrow, so that's cool.
Labels: Friends, Life, Relationships
Sunday, October 28, 2007
The Big Halloween Party
Made it back from Chicago in plenty of time for Saturday night's annual Halloween party at Josh and Angelo's. Actually, "annual" Halloween party is a little redundant, I guess - it's not like they have a monthly Halloween party. Though I think "Halloween in April" would be a cool idea for a party.
Anyway, I had a fun idea for a costume. The party theme was "Heroes," so...
Anyway, I had a fun idea for a costume. The party theme was "Heroes," so...