Monday, February 25, 2008
"You Make Me Want to Have More Gay Friends"
That's what a friend said to me one evening.
And that is about the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
He told me he'd never really had gay friends before...I guess he was always the gay guy surrounded by a circle of straight friends. It's not that he didn't know any gay people, but as he said, "I've only had one use for gay men." And it wasn't friendship.
When my friend said what he said, it about knocked me out. I don't think he realizes how much it meant to me that he said those words. First, because it was the most open he had been with me, and I was touched that he shared those thoughts. And of course, because the idea that I might have had a positive impact on someone's outlook on life is a very powerful thing. It's always nice to have someone tell you that you've added something good to the way they view the world.
This came up months ago, I just haven't mentioned it before now because...well, because it seems like a new sensation, like it just happened last night. But the truth is, whenever I'm feeling down, I think about that, and I smile.
And that is about the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
He told me he'd never really had gay friends before...I guess he was always the gay guy surrounded by a circle of straight friends. It's not that he didn't know any gay people, but as he said, "I've only had one use for gay men." And it wasn't friendship.
When my friend said what he said, it about knocked me out. I don't think he realizes how much it meant to me that he said those words. First, because it was the most open he had been with me, and I was touched that he shared those thoughts. And of course, because the idea that I might have had a positive impact on someone's outlook on life is a very powerful thing. It's always nice to have someone tell you that you've added something good to the way they view the world.
This came up months ago, I just haven't mentioned it before now because...well, because it seems like a new sensation, like it just happened last night. But the truth is, whenever I'm feeling down, I think about that, and I smile.
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Your friend and I have a lot more in common. It can be quite lonely being the "gay guy" in a circle of straight only friends but it does give the perspective that we are good folks with big hearts. And a side note, I felt the exact same way when I went to your "Welcome Back" party a few months ago....except I didn't say it. You have a tendency of doing that to people. -Ivan
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