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heh heh I made Adrian watch "Blades of Glory" tonight (and the title is a line from that, we aren't threatening to cut each other's heads off).

While I was in Afghanistan I saw both "Talladega Nights" and "Blades of Glory," starring Will Ferrell, which made them movies Adrian was unlikely to ever see. But I asked him nicely and he watched "Talladega Nights" soon after I returned, and this week "Blades of Glory" came out on DVD (and I moved it to the top of our Netflix queue, without of course bothering to mention it).

For a guy who said he'd never want to watch a Will Ferrell movie, Adrian sure can quote the lines from them.

I have now seen "Blades of Glory" three times in about a month. That is pathetic. But fun.

I'm a sex addict. It's my cross to bear.

In other news, my boss did the first smart thing I've ever seen him do: 2 hours into this morning's meetings he said to me "I could go home now."

Me too. I would've been fine if we'd never gone in the first place. So we headed to the airport and caught a flight home about 6 hours early. And yay for that.

Labels: Life, Travel, Work

On a boring business trip with my boring boss at a boring hotel for boring meetings in a great city. But I am being a good boy, working when I need to, so I am not venturing out to Midtown. In other words, I am being boring.

I shall, of course, make up for that on my Southeast Asia odyssey starting next week.

Last weekend was the opposite of boring. Well, it kinda started out that way...Friday night I wasn't going to go out because I was beat and was plannig to get up early Saturday to help a friend move. But Adrian wasn't working until 12 on Saturday anwanted to go dancing, so we were set to go...until he fell asleep on the couch. heh heh Anyway, things got better...Saturday I helped Eric move, then went to the AQUA picnic that Danny had invited me to...I figured I might stay a couple hours but 5 hours later I was helping take down the tables...yeah, fun! I met some very cool people and had a great time. Saturday night was a party, then later out to a bar with some friend...late night, and a good one.

Sunday some friends were passing through town so a short get-together ensued, and that was fun.

And then a day of work, and 3 days here, and then home...to go to the beach this weekend. So yay for that!!!

(I realize this is a somewhat disjointed entry. But I am neither Armistead Maupin nor Augusten Burroughs...nor do I earn as much as them...so you'll have to just deal with it, I'm afraid.)

Labels: Life, Travel

I've been so busy having a life this week I haven't had time to blog about it. Monday Adrian got a new car, a BMW 328i, and so we had to go celebrate with Angelo (who helped him through the process) and Josh. We went to an upscale Thai place downtown then out for drinks, and we got a parking spot right in front of the restaurant on busy 14th Street. Rock star parking. Or, "BMW parking," as we like to think.

Tuesday Adrian and I went to see "Hairspray." Maybe I'll do something like Derek often does and post a review here later. Let me just say that of all the musicals I've seen that have later been turned into films, this was the best. I found myself almost applauding after some numbers, then remembering iot was a movie and not a play. It has just opened in Asia so everyone there should go see it. Much fun. And Zac Effron is my new boy-crush.

Wednesday night was dinner and coffee with Dancin' Mike, who's back in town from barcelona on a break from school. I have missed him SO MUCH and am happy he's back, even if only for a short time. Saw him out Friday night, then he was here for Sunday's party, then we finally got some one-on-one time Wednesday.

So yeah, the party.....GREAT TIME!!!!!! Oh my, it was SO much fun. We had over 40 people, it started at 2pm and the last people left at 11 that night...good times. Had a few new people, friends of friends, and that is always cool (this one guy, we weren't sure if he was gay or not...turned out he knew half a dozen people here, so yeah!!). Had some of my oldest friends ("oldest" in terms of how long I've known, not age!!), like Andy, Scott, Kevin, Sean, Paul, and of course their wonderful boyfriends and partners. Newer friends like Greg and Max and Danny, some of my most charming friends like Mike and Mike and Mike and Mike and Mike...yeah. Good food (some of it courtesy of Ethan, who made some fabtabulous spring rolls and pointed toward a Vietnamese bakery where we got some stuff) and just the right amount of booze, nobody got TOO drunk (though there was some tipsiness, and one bit of uncontrolled yet fun violence...ouch!). No complaining neighbors this time...not sure if that is a good sign or a bad one. Everyone seemed to be having fun, old friends reconnected, new friends met, and I think Ivan had a good time, which was important to me.

Can't believe we got everything together in time. Well, more or less in time...I was taking out trash when our first guests arrived. Sorry, guys!!!

One prooblem with a party like that is that as the host you want to talk to everyone, but as a result they are short conversations. Still, it allowed me to reconnect with everyone, most of whom I had not seen since coming back. And they got to see each other, which is important. AND, it gave me the incentive to be social and get together with folks individually.

Plus, many of them brought wine, and that rocks.

A few pics are available here.

Labels: Friends, Life

Once again I'm using the "too tired" excuse. Seriously I'm sleep deprived this week. Tonight we went to see "Hairspray" and it was fantabulous. Of all the stage musicals I've seen turned into films, this is among the best. A great time was had...I almost started applauding a couple times before remembering they couldn't hear me.

I still have party stories. But they've just got to wait while I zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Labels: Life

Suffice it to say that Sunday's party was a huge, 9-hour success where people seemed to have a really good time. And also, Adrian got a BMW today.

More to follow, but we went out to celebrate the new car, and after little sleep last night I am an exhausted puppy.

Labels: Life

Random fact for the day: the theme song from "The Incredible Hulk" TV show is called "The Lonely Man."

It looks like I will be studying Chinese using Rosetta Stone, courtesy of my office, which will pay for it. I had a choice between Indonesia (which is supposed to be pretty close to Malay, allowing you to converse in multiple countries) and Mandarin. I asked my Malay and Malay-speaking friends and ALL of them said "study Chinese." I can take a hint.

Small party over here Sunday, so yay for that.

Friday I went to Vietnam. Without a passport, even.

OK, actually, I went to a meeting at their embassy here. But of course, an embassy is considered sovereign territory of that nation, so when we sat down the lady we were meeting welcomed us to Vietnam. Cute.

Part of the meeting was to determine when I would be going, either for the meetings of my original plan in mid-September, or for another set of meetings later in the month. Looks like I'm sticking with my original dates, so YAY, because not only will those meetings be more interesting, but also, my boss and one of the old guys from the office are going to the second set, and I don't want my first time in Hanoi to be with them.

Went out to Apex again Friday, saw Angelo for the first time since getting back, as well as Josh and Albert and Rueben and Prakash and Anna. And then Ethan and Vu and Choy were there. And Danny showed up, whom I also hadn't seen since returning. Then I ran into Dancin' Mike, who's back on his school vacation from Barcelona...boy is looking GOOD! And finally -- and this was the random one -- I bumped in Teguh, whom I knew when I lived here before. I totally didn't recognize him, he looks so different now...taller, longer hair, back to his natural hair color. Looking great! Anyway, we had seen each other in the club but I didn't realize who he was...when he came over to talk to me I was surprised, when he knew who I was I was VERY surprised, and when he said "you don't remember me..." I looked into his eyes and knew who I was seeing. Wow. Haven't seen him in 5 years, not since right before we moved, and Adrian and I have often talked about him, wondering how he is doing (somewhere along the way I lost his contact info). Anyway, he is doing great and that is always nice to see.

Labels: Friends, Life, Travel, Work

Work was better today because no one -- including me -- was being a jerk. And that's always nice.

I broke down and bought a strawberry smoothie at Dunkin' Donuts since the smoothie shop near my office closed down. I think I should just make my own and bring them in. Dunkin' Donuts should stick to donuts.

Went to get some Chinese food at lunch but turns out the place closed while I was gone. I refuse to believe they had to close because they didn't have me buying stuff there for the last couple months. Seriously, it's not my fault. I brightened up a bit when I went to the Subway sandwich shop and the guy there said "hey, haven't seen you in a couple motnhs!" I'm not sure what it means when the sandwich guy noticed that I was gone...I mean, I only go there every couple weeks as it is, if that much. he was very interested in what Afghanistan was like. Or maybe he was just flirting. Who knows?

Wish I had something exciting to report but no such luck. Maybe Thursday.

Oh, I know what I can do: give some kudos to my Singaporean friends for holding their pride festivities in the face of all kinds of government opposition. Yay for you guys!!!!

Labels: Life, Work

Tracy will be happy, I did the right thing today. Got our last-minute project done even though I had to beat up a couple of folks to get it finished. Well, not really. But I wanted to beat them. If they blow off stuff until the last day they can't sit around and have great philosophical discussions about it, they need to just get it done and out the door.

Also got the car window fixed today. The whole automatic window assembly needed to be replaced. Oh well, that was 400 bucks I didn't need anyway.

On the upside, I went to a Vietnamese bakery tonight with Ethan to pick out some food for a little party we're having here this weekend. Then we went to dinner. I tried to speak Vietnamese from the menu but the nice lady couldn't understand a word I said. Yay for Ethan ordering for me.

Oh, and Dancin' Mike came home for a visit today. Yay!!!!

And now I'm having a strawberry smoothie. Yum.

Labels: Life, Work

At work I am trying to get away from the (self-imposed) "crisis of the day" and do more meaningful long-term work that needs to be done and is better suited to my skills. And then something comes up like today, when my bosses dropped the ball on something last week and they needed an analysis of a 58-page document and they needed it in about 4 hours. They come to me because they know I can do it (and I did) but the work I really wanted to do got put off until tomorrow as a result.

So the question is...

...do I continue to do well on those immediate tasks, which probably means they'll keep asking and I won't get to do the work I want to do? Or,

...do I screw up one of these so maybe they quit asking me to do it, and then maybe I can focus on other stuff?

Decisions, decisions.

Labels: Works

Had brunch today with Ivan...first time seeing Ivan since returning and also first time back to the Carlyle for Sunday brunch (and i was so confused I ordered a Mimosa rather than my normal Grand Mimosa -- but I survived somehow). We'll see what a bowl of lobster bisque and a serving of their fantabulomundo French toast will do to my waistline (note, tho, that I returned from the gym just before writing this - -it's OK to play so long as you pay for it later, right?).

This was a bit of a shopping weekend. Yesterday I headed downtown, had some coffee and watched the world walk by (more on that in a sec) and bought a couple new shirts and some new CIN 2 undies as well (not entirely work-safe link). Oh, and YAY for the sales tax holiday in DC that's going on now (not that I bought very much, but every little bit helps). Then I was back to Virginia to get some new jeans and cruise the guys at Aeropostale. Finally saw Khamla last night for the first time since getting back -- well, it was the first time he saw me...I saw him asleep on his couch one day, but the conversation was a little one-sided.

DC was just dead this weekend. Apex didn't have nearly as many people as I'm used to Friday, and really didn't start to fill up until 12:30am. Sitting downtown yesterday the coffee shop was only half full, unheard of for a saturday at that time of day. I guess a lot of people went to the beach this weekend. Or maybe they found something more productive to do than go to a club or sit around a coffee shop.

Today was a little more shopping, including a visit to Target to find some kitchen stuff (where we got chastised by a lady for crossing in front of her in the parking lot without using the crosswalk...of course, she was talking on her cell phone while driving so I don't think she needs to be giving too many safety lectures). We were going to Home Depot to get some stuff we need before next weekend's party but some of Adrian's family members wanted to come over and use the pool, so that killed our hardware store visit. I guess it'll be up to me this week to get that done.

Oh, and my car is broken again. I started putting down the driver's window and there was a nasty grinding sound from inside the door, along with the sound of glass being chewed up. Hmmmm. I've only spent about $700 on the stupid thing since getting back, what's a few hundred more???

Funny how my life now seems so much more mundane now than in the previous two months. Then again, nobody's threatening to blow me up on my daily commute (as far as I know) so I guess that's a plus. One thing I've noticed is that I'm not blogging every day now, even though I managed to keep a journal almost every day in Kabul. I'm also behind on e-mails...I don't send out very many at all. I guess in Kabul I was working in front of my computer much of the day and it was easy to take a few minutes and write something. But now that I'm back on a government network at the office I can't really use it for personal stuff, and by the time I get home I'm not in the mood for a lot of computer time. Which I think makes me lazy. But lordy, I do owe Lorraine a note, we have Harry Potter stuff to discuss.

Labels: Life

As a sign of how my body has improved in the last few months, Friday night at Apex the drag queen who does the karaoke room flirted with me, giving me a kiss and asking why I was sitting by myself, "playing hard to get already?" she asked. heh heh In all the years I've been going there she's never noticed me, so now I have a sense of validation. I mean, if Gladys notices you, you must be someone, right?

OK, I'm being a little sarcastic. But I have noticed a few more double-takes and unexpected smiles from other bar patrons, retail employees, waiters, folks on the sidewalk...it's almost enough to make a guy feel good about himself (OK, I always felt good about myself, but now I'm feeling better about the way I look).

Lots of people have said, right away, "wow you lost a lot of weight." Makes me wonder how bad I looked before.

Afghanistan helped. With nothing to do but work and work out I found it easy to hit the gym 6 days a week. Between my cardio and weight work, and with a better diet without junk food (which I don't eat much of anyway) or alcohol (ditto) I managed to drop some pounds. In March I was weighing 155. By the time I left for Kabul at the end of May I was down around 145. Today I checked in at 135 with 10% body fat. So yay that.

I recognize that I was not overweight at 155. But it was in the wrong places, mostly a tummy that was soft and bulged in such a way that shirts didn't look right on me. Now I'm wearing Adrian's shirts, and I've dropped 3 inches off my waist size so I've had to buy some new pants. I'm also building muscle, most noticably in my arms and chest but also in my legs and abs, to a more limited extent.

I've already had someone tell me I'm too thin, but I think that will change as the muscles develop. The trick now is to get into a workout routine...I'm pretty good on the diet, but figuring out how to exercise around my work schedule is still proving a little tricky. And let's face it, there are far more distractions here than in Afghanistan, so I need to increase my self-discipline.

If anyone cares to see, pleae note the semi-shirtless-but-still-pretty-much-workplace-safe photo below.



Oh, and I had fun dancing, too.

Labels: Life

Just finished my first week back in the office. Sometimes I think I prefer war. But at least there are no bats flying around the office. So it's better than a tent.

There are definitely some positives right now. We had a big meeting Wednesday of different agencies that work together. There are some new people involved in what we do and they actually want to contribute rather than being big bitch whore sluts (OK, there's only one of those I have to work with, and she's in Hawaii, and her new boss was here, and he's very cool and I think we can work well together). I'm actually going to get to do some worthwhile, long-term planning for my work, which doesn't sound quite as sexy once I typed it as it did when I first thought about it. Hmmmmm. Anyway, that's what I was supposed to be doing all along, and didn't get to.

Something else I was supposed to be doing was working with some Asian countries, and of course, that never quite happened. But since getting back I've been redefining my job, and I think I'm going to get to do some fun work.

In fact...they are finally sending me to the region next month. I go to Vietnam for a few days, and then I have some vacation time I need to use by the end of September, so I'm going to tour around Vietnam and then go see some friends in a couple countries before coming home. Yay!!!! Details to follow.

But yeah, some things stay the same. Today I kind of called out my boss on the poor leadership in the office. I didn't call her by name but she knew. I didn't do it disrespectfully -- trust me, I had her nodding along with me -- but I put her on notice that things are going to be different. One of the big problems with government agencies is you get a lot of people who are there for 20 years and can't see beyond the walls of their office...the stereotype of the government bureaucrat, yeah...well, that stereotype exists because it often happens that way.

But I think I'll stay. I have some options to go work elsewhere but on the whole I think this is the best choice for me right now, and I think I can do some good there. I'm making the commitment to stay there for another year and a half, but after that, the world opens up.

Oh, and I'm going dancing tonight so YAY that.

Labels: Work

Normally, "the Big Tent" would mean the circus. But not this time. Though sometimes things seemed circus-like.

So yeah, my teammates and I lived in a 20-man tent for 7 weeks. It was supposed to be temporary but since we were there such a short time they never moved us into anything better. The tent was designed to be temporary so there was no place to hang clothes, the bathroom was a porta-potty, the showers were in a temporary structure...it was like the thing was designed to say "thank you for coming, but now please leave." Which I was happy to do.

I used my top bunk as my closet.

There were only 5 of us from our team in the tent but of course there were other people. We got up to 16 people at one point, and that was a little much.

A bat flew in one night. That was annoying. And i found a dead cockroach in my bunk and I wondered, "what made him come up here just to die?"

We were living near the US Embassy and had access to an American dining facility where we had breakfast and dinner. Lunch was either with the Afghans or at a nearby NATO base that we could go onto. I preferred the NATO food, the European menu was nice. Afghan food tasted OK but I didn't trust it. They don't believe in thngs like "hygiene" there.

At bthe school where we worked they had traditional "squat toilets." I took photos but I'm not sure anyone wants to see them.

I learned that when Afghans are faced with Western-style toilets, like in a porta-potty, they will still squat over them. I know this because I saw footprints next to the seat in the porta-potties our Afghan guards used.

I tended to sleep through explosions. Sometimes I'd get up and people would say "it sounded like grenade went off nearby" and I'd missed the whole thing. Someone accidentally fired their rifle outside my tent one night and I didn't wake up. Hey, at least i was sleeping well.

I'd usually get up around 5:45, get cleaned up and go to breakfast, then we'd convoy out to work, about 15 minutes away. We'd be there all day, then come back around 5;30. I'd run to the gym, then try to get dinner before the dining hall closed. After checking e-mail (we were 8 1/2 hours ahead -- silly Afghans do that weird 1/2 hour thing -- so as I was getting ready to go to bed friends back home were going to work) I'd make my way back to my tent, take a shower, and usually be in bed by 9. I was generally pretty beat, and after getting over my initial jet lag I slept like a rock all through the night. As evidenced by my inability to hear explosions and nearby gunfire.

No one shot on me on the way to work. I was very happy about that. Plenty of bad things happened in Kabul, but not near me. It was a nice change from Iraq 3 years ago, where I got shot at every day. Silly Iraqis.

We had to brush our teeth with bottled water. Some guys didn't think they needed to. They soon realized their mistake, and the rest of us had to listen to them bitch about it. I had no sympathy for people who got sick through their own stupidity.

I'm happy to be in my own bed now. And I'm avoiding bottled water for the moment, just to avoid the memories.

Labels: Travel, Work

I found my time in Afghanistan to be a pretty worthwhile experience, on the whole. I was there to spend two months with the social science faculty at a fairly new university. They already have courses up and running, so I wasn't really there to help with the curriculum. Instead I was teaching them how to teach, which was harder than it sounds. The younger faculty members were mostly recent college grads (a bachelor's degree was typically all they had) with no teaching experience, while the older instructors grew up in Soviet-style and Taliban-era educational systems. As is often the case, the younger guys have the motivation to change things for the better, while the older guys -- who are in charge -- are afraid of change and try to block new ideas. I pointed out that maybe the Soviet and Taliban systems weren't that good, seeing as the Soviet Union doesn't exist anymore and the Taliban were bastards. But yeah, I had my work cut out for me.

My goal wasn't to get them to teach American-style, but instead, get them to find an "Afghan style" that was right for them. We needed to find techniques that took into account the poor elementary and high school educations the students had, the relatively low level of education the instructors had, the expectations they have for graduates, and of course, the stresses of an ongoing war. So yeah, the teaching styles of the University of Virginia probably wouldn't work so well.

The work was interesting. I spent a lot of time observing classes and working one-on-one with the instructors. I taught a few seminars for the department and also taught a few economics and international relations classes. I was happy to see some of the instructors using the techniques we talked about, adapting them to their own needs. I also "adopted" one particular class of juniors and kept going back there. They were really bright and asked a lot of very insightful questions about US policies...I wish my students at my old university would have seemed so interested. They have some odd views of how things work in the world but at least they're open minded enough to ask questions and learn.

So, yeah, the work was good. And I noticed a big difference between this experience and my time in Iraq a couple years ago. In Iraq I worked at the Embassy and when i left I only said goodbye to Americans and other coalition partners...no Iraqis. But this time around, when I left I was saying goodbye to Afghans, and not so many Americans. Yeah, this was very different.

That was the upside. But I found a downside to Afghan culture. This sounds demeaning, but they seem like children. Children who want you to give them things, who act grown up when they aren't, who are capable of violence without realizing the effects of it, who want authority without responsibility. This is not a good thing. This country has been at war of one sort or another for 30 years and it cannot continue...we saw what happened the last time it descended into a totally failed state, and as one instructor told me, "you need us, you cannot afford to walk away again." Unfortunately, I think he's right. But I feel like they'll say what they think we want to hear, then as soon as we are gone, move on their own way. Which is fine, until their way doesn't work and they come back to us to fix it.

The younger generation has the desire to do great things and the passion -- for the moment -- to make positive changes. But many are getting frustrated and trying to leave the country. The brain drain is incredible, and the government is taking steps to slow it, but these steps are reducing the chance for overseas training. I hope some of them will stay and fight through the frustration, taking the baby steps that are needed to move the country forward.

The Dean told me they cannot measure themselves against the US, they must measure themselves against their neighbors. Good call. Unfortunately, we seem to be pushing them toward a US standard, all in the name of "setting the bar high so they have something to reach for." Considering how many people are living in mud huts without running water, we may need to rethink that strategy.

Labels: Teaching, Work

On one of my visits to an Afghan bazaar I picked up the first season of Heroes on DVD. Now, I'm SURE this wasn't a bootleg copy. Never mind that it only cost 10 bucks. Or that some of the words on the box and on the DVD menus are misspelled. Or that when we watch an episode we see a logo for a TV network sometimes NBC, sometimes an Asian network) in a bottom corner. Or that I bought it more than 2 months before it's actually available for sale.

I had meant to watch this show last year but never did so it was nice to have the chance to catch up. Adrian and I started watching it this week and got hooked, often watching 3 episodes a night.

Problem: there were 23 episodes in the first season...and there are only 18 episodes on these discs. We're missing the last 5.

Damn Afghans.

But wait...we realized the episodes are available on NBC.com. Yay! We looked, and sure enough, they are there.

But only until tomorrow.

With the DVD coming out later this month, NBC is pulling the episodes off their website on August 3rd. We realized this last night, after completing 12 episodes. We had to make a choice.

Do we:

a) watch the remaining 6 episodes on the DVDs Wednesday night (bear in mind, it's 9pm when we realized this, and we'd already watched 2 episodes) then watch the 5 online episodes on Thursday, or

b) just enjoy the remaining 6 episodes over time, and watch the last 5 when the DVD comes out?

Yeah, we stayed up until 3am watching the 6 episodes. And then we searched the web trying to find a translation of some French dialogue in one episode. And Adrian commented on what geeks we must be to be doing that at 3 in the morning.

We got up at 9 today, watched 2 episodes online, then watched the last 3 tonight. Cool show. Looking forward to the next season, starting in September.

I'll try not to be such a nerd about it next time.

Labels: Life

Today I got a welcome home gift from Adrian: a day at his spa. I started with a facial (my pores have never been so clear), followed by a body scrub (to remove the 2 inches of accumulated Afghan dust) and a massage (relieving the pain caused by the very thin mattress in my tent), then we had lunch, then I had a manicure ('cuz all the physical work messed up my cuticles), pedicure (wearing boots every day was hell on my feet), and finally, an eyebrow wax (because they're called eyebrows for a reason).

Yeah, I'm feeling good!

By the way, I am officially down to 135 pounds and had to buy some new jeans. And I have been wearing Adrian's shirts this week. I have a plan to keep up my gym work and I am waching the nutritional value of my food more carefully now. So yay!!

The car was working but is broken again. And there are other things that need work. But hey, i got a facial, so it's all good!

Labels: Life