Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Changing Roles
Tonight I had dinner with Richmond Michael, who is about to blast off for another chapter in his life. Michael was recently laid off in the big round of cuts at AOL, though that's not necessarily a bad thing. After being there for a few years he was looking to take a leave of absence, only now he gets to do it with a good severance package. The whole situation with, and following, the layoff has actually worked amazingly well...so many good things have happened unexpectedly. It's almost as if the universe said "oooh, that's right, your teenage years kinda sucked..my bad. Here, let me write you a check for some good karma." He'll be traveling for a couple months, and may settle back here, in another city, or even overseas. Me being the selfish guy I am, I hope he comes back here.
When we met I was 33 and Michael was 17 (and no, we never had THAT kind of relationship, so get those dirty thoughts out of your head). Michael was a high school senior who would come to DC to go clubbing and I was just starting grad school. We got to know each other very well, and through him I learned a lot about the world, and a lot about myself (it's amazing how much you can learn when you just shut up and really LISTEN). But while I was learning from him, I was also providing an example for him. We had very much a "big brother/little brother" relationship, with me as kind of a mentor, helping guide him through some rough times by showing how great life can be once you get through adolescence. Michael was doing some things I didnt think were really good for him, but I tried not to be judgmental, and tried even harder to never sound condescending when we talked, because I certainly didn't feel "superior" -- just older. I always saw amazing potential in Michael and I just wanted to be sure he saw it in himself.
But now he's 25, he's been working for a few years and become a sought-after expert in his field, he's traveled, he's helped other friends, he's found a passion (scuba diving, though I can't claim any credit for that one), he's gotten a cat, and he's basically just turned out to be a great guy fulfilling his potential. In the process, our relationship has changed to one on a more level field...we are peers, not teacher/student. We've both noticed this over the last year or so that I've been back, but tonight is the first time we've talked about it.
That doesn't change the fact that the cake picture with Dancin' Mike is still his favorite, and mine as well.
When we met I was 33 and Michael was 17 (and no, we never had THAT kind of relationship, so get those dirty thoughts out of your head). Michael was a high school senior who would come to DC to go clubbing and I was just starting grad school. We got to know each other very well, and through him I learned a lot about the world, and a lot about myself (it's amazing how much you can learn when you just shut up and really LISTEN). But while I was learning from him, I was also providing an example for him. We had very much a "big brother/little brother" relationship, with me as kind of a mentor, helping guide him through some rough times by showing how great life can be once you get through adolescence. Michael was doing some things I didnt think were really good for him, but I tried not to be judgmental, and tried even harder to never sound condescending when we talked, because I certainly didn't feel "superior" -- just older. I always saw amazing potential in Michael and I just wanted to be sure he saw it in himself.
But now he's 25, he's been working for a few years and become a sought-after expert in his field, he's traveled, he's helped other friends, he's found a passion (scuba diving, though I can't claim any credit for that one), he's gotten a cat, and he's basically just turned out to be a great guy fulfilling his potential. In the process, our relationship has changed to one on a more level field...we are peers, not teacher/student. We've both noticed this over the last year or so that I've been back, but tonight is the first time we've talked about it.
That doesn't change the fact that the cake picture with Dancin' Mike is still his favorite, and mine as well.
Labels: Friends
