Thursday, September 27, 2007
Quick Note on Dating
(I started writing this last week in Hong Kong and saved it as a draft, unsure what to do with it. I decided it's worth posting, after a little editing.)
I saw something in KL I really liked seeing: KL boys dating KL boys. Why is that memorable? Because in the US you see that very rarely...very often you see Asians and white guys together, but not as many Asians dating Asians (I find the term "sticky rice" offensive, by the way, as I do "rice queen" and "potato queen" -- comments?). I have talked with friends at home as well as friends on this journey, and they have narrowed the Asian + white thing down to three main reasons:
- simple personal preference, much like preferring blonds or tall guys
- a sense that Westerners are "better"
- money
The last 2 bother me...I think I don't like the idea that I might be lumped in with other white guys who might be taking advantage of those 2 reasons. Any kind of "inferiority complex" bothers me, as does "prostituting" oneself. Self respect, in my humble opinion, is worth more than any money.
(I'd like to think there's a fourth reason: simply being attracted to a guy without regard to his ethnicity or appearance. Is that more common than I think?)
The reason this occurs to me now is, Friday night was spent with an online friend in HK and his white British boyfriend. The boyfriend was kind of a jerk, and definitely didn't appreciate my friend. I thought to myself, "You have 2 people who want to hang out with you this evening: one who arranged his business travel so he could meet up with you, and one who has spent more time on his mobile talking to people who aren't here than he has talking to you." Which would you prefer? I mean, you have to decide for yourself how you deserve to be treated...I think my friend deserves to be treated better, and hopefully he will learn to think that too.
The other reason this occurs to me, of course, is that the couples I met in KL just look so damned cute together.
I should mention that Saturday night was spent with the same friend, without the bf this time, and he is so much cooler in a less stressful situation. He really deserves someone great, and I hope he finds him after jettisoning Mr Drunky Drunk.
Speaking of that Saturday night, I forgot to mention one incident at Propaganda. There were only a few people on the dance floor by 1am, but I was one of them, and a few cute lesbians were out there too. One of them, short with short hair, smiled and came to dance with me. We were having fun, and I leaned in and said, "I'm Will, what's your name?" She looked a little surprised (what, she expected me to speak Chinese maybe?) and ran off to her friends. She came back a couple minutes later, started dancing, leaned in and said:
"I'm a girl!"
"Um, yeah," I said, "I know that."
"Oh, she said, "I thought you thought I was a gay!!"
"No, I just wanted to know who I'm dancing with" was my reply.
She seemed happy with that. Her name was Florence, by the way.
Oh, and I had one other Malaysian adventure I forgot to mention: earlier this year I was watching some porn from Thailand and this one guy had a very cool necklace. Yeah, he was hot, so was his partner, blah blah blah, but I really liked that necklace. I looked for it in cities around the US but never found it. Anyway, the day after arriving in KL I was in Low Yat Plaza and, walking past a jewelry stand, I saw it. It isn't actually a necklace, but is instead a chain that clips to two belt loops (it's a thick chain with a small handcuff on each end that clips together)...but it looked great on the guy in the porno (he didn't have any belt loops to clip it to, because he didn't have any pants) so I'm sure if I wear it as a necklace, I too will look like a hot naked Thai guy.
That isn't really an adventure, I guess, but I just like talking about Thai porn. And now I will show up in Google when people look for "Thai porn" and they will be very, very disappointed.
I saw something in KL I really liked seeing: KL boys dating KL boys. Why is that memorable? Because in the US you see that very rarely...very often you see Asians and white guys together, but not as many Asians dating Asians (I find the term "sticky rice" offensive, by the way, as I do "rice queen" and "potato queen" -- comments?). I have talked with friends at home as well as friends on this journey, and they have narrowed the Asian + white thing down to three main reasons:
- simple personal preference, much like preferring blonds or tall guys
- a sense that Westerners are "better"
- money
The last 2 bother me...I think I don't like the idea that I might be lumped in with other white guys who might be taking advantage of those 2 reasons. Any kind of "inferiority complex" bothers me, as does "prostituting" oneself. Self respect, in my humble opinion, is worth more than any money.
(I'd like to think there's a fourth reason: simply being attracted to a guy without regard to his ethnicity or appearance. Is that more common than I think?)
The reason this occurs to me now is, Friday night was spent with an online friend in HK and his white British boyfriend. The boyfriend was kind of a jerk, and definitely didn't appreciate my friend. I thought to myself, "You have 2 people who want to hang out with you this evening: one who arranged his business travel so he could meet up with you, and one who has spent more time on his mobile talking to people who aren't here than he has talking to you." Which would you prefer? I mean, you have to decide for yourself how you deserve to be treated...I think my friend deserves to be treated better, and hopefully he will learn to think that too.
The other reason this occurs to me, of course, is that the couples I met in KL just look so damned cute together.
I should mention that Saturday night was spent with the same friend, without the bf this time, and he is so much cooler in a less stressful situation. He really deserves someone great, and I hope he finds him after jettisoning Mr Drunky Drunk.
Speaking of that Saturday night, I forgot to mention one incident at Propaganda. There were only a few people on the dance floor by 1am, but I was one of them, and a few cute lesbians were out there too. One of them, short with short hair, smiled and came to dance with me. We were having fun, and I leaned in and said, "I'm Will, what's your name?" She looked a little surprised (what, she expected me to speak Chinese maybe?) and ran off to her friends. She came back a couple minutes later, started dancing, leaned in and said:
"I'm a girl!"
"Um, yeah," I said, "I know that."
"Oh, she said, "I thought you thought I was a gay!!"
"No, I just wanted to know who I'm dancing with" was my reply.
She seemed happy with that. Her name was Florence, by the way.
Oh, and I had one other Malaysian adventure I forgot to mention: earlier this year I was watching some porn from Thailand and this one guy had a very cool necklace. Yeah, he was hot, so was his partner, blah blah blah, but I really liked that necklace. I looked for it in cities around the US but never found it. Anyway, the day after arriving in KL I was in Low Yat Plaza and, walking past a jewelry stand, I saw it. It isn't actually a necklace, but is instead a chain that clips to two belt loops (it's a thick chain with a small handcuff on each end that clips together)...but it looked great on the guy in the porno (he didn't have any belt loops to clip it to, because he didn't have any pants) so I'm sure if I wear it as a necklace, I too will look like a hot naked Thai guy.
That isn't really an adventure, I guess, but I just like talking about Thai porn. And now I will show up in Google when people look for "Thai porn" and they will be very, very disappointed.
Labels: Friends, Relationships, Thai Porn, Travel
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There's all sorts of people out there in the world. Some good some bad. Naturally, we'll a variaty of couples out there. If it works, it works. And if it don't, it don't.
Lesbians are fun people. Heheh.
Lesbians are fun people. Heheh.
For some reason, I find the term "Sticky Rice" extremely cute!!!
Wear the necklace and make a porno of your own, Will!
Wear the necklace and make a porno of your own, Will!
QR: I agree on the variety. And on the funness of lesbians.
W: Then I will call you Sticky William. :-) It's one of those terms I think people can call themselves but as a label from an outsider it might be offensive. If one of my friends calls me a big ol' fag that's OK, but someone at work does it and we duel at 20 paces. But yeah, I've heard some of my gaysian friends here use it too, I guess.
W: Then I will call you Sticky William. :-) It's one of those terms I think people can call themselves but as a label from an outsider it might be offensive. If one of my friends calls me a big ol' fag that's OK, but someone at work does it and we duel at 20 paces. But yeah, I've heard some of my gaysian friends here use it too, I guess.
Good morning, Will! I stumbled upon your blog, and I thought I'd comment on this particular post.
I'm originally from Indonesia, and I've also lived in Singapore for six years. Eleven years ago, I moved to the States (my father is American) and settled in a relatively rural area in Pennsylvania.
Well, since I was pretty much the only Asian/half-Asian in the area, I was limited with respect to who I liked. Every guy that I've liked since then has been white. I guess my preference was a product of my environment. Also, having an American father may have had something to do with it, too.
Anyway, I really enjoy your blog, and I'm thrilled to see that you've been traveling throughout Southeast Asia (represent!). Have a great weekend!
I'm originally from Indonesia, and I've also lived in Singapore for six years. Eleven years ago, I moved to the States (my father is American) and settled in a relatively rural area in Pennsylvania.
Well, since I was pretty much the only Asian/half-Asian in the area, I was limited with respect to who I liked. Every guy that I've liked since then has been white. I guess my preference was a product of my environment. Also, having an American father may have had something to do with it, too.
Anyway, I really enjoy your blog, and I'm thrilled to see that you've been traveling throughout Southeast Asia (represent!). Have a great weekend!
a: I think "product of your environment" may explain a lot here in the US. For me, when i was in the midwest and surrounded exclusively by white guys, that's all i was into. When I moved to DC the first time in '99, that opened my eyes to all sorts of possibilities :-) And hey, welcome to DC! Maybe we can start getting a group of DC bloggers to riva the KL bloggers :P
s: I know at least one CAUCasian boy who likes you. :-) At least your comment explains certain pics with Adrian on your last visit here.
s: I know at least one CAUCasian boy who likes you. :-) At least your comment explains certain pics with Adrian on your last visit here.
Aryaduta: Perhaps one song can be named "Sticky Rice" :P - I've honestly never heard that term before!
How is it sticky anyway, it's just so... hrmmmm. :P
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How is it sticky anyway, it's just so... hrmmmm. :P
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