Saturday, January 06, 2007
Rhetorical Questions About Eye Boogers
How is it I can go 20 years without a serious case of eye boogers, then wake up on New Year's Day with my eyes literally sealed shut?
How many hours a day must I waste in meetings that have no relevance to me because my empire-building boss says we should all "know what other folks are doing?"
Why is it I can tell the front gate to the condo that I have a delivery arriving between 8-10am, and then the guard turns the truck away when he shows up at 9am because "the loading dock isn't available until 9:30?"
Does anyone REALLY need to drink five "Grey Goose and Red Bulls" in one night?
What will I find if I go "to the left, to the left?"
How come I could walk into my local Panda Express and order my food in Spanish, but Chinese is simply met with blank stares?
I saw a guy in the Tournament of Roses Parade on New Year's Day with a jet pack -- where the hell is mine?
Do goth boys prefer to do it in total darkness?
How come my Asian friends can typically wear my clothes but I can't wear theirs? (OK, actually, I'm pretty sure I know the answer to that one)
How many visits to Sears should it take to get a washer and dryer and have it delivered?
Why does Tarzan scream when he's swinging on a vine? Is he scared?
How big is too big? I mean, really.
Why is it called a "manicure" if most men won't get one?
How come Colorado had three easy winters while we lived there, then it gets smacked with three blizzards in three weeks while it's 70 degrees here in DC?
Shouldn't everyone have at least one blog post per year with "boogers" in the title?
How many hours a day must I waste in meetings that have no relevance to me because my empire-building boss says we should all "know what other folks are doing?"
Why is it I can tell the front gate to the condo that I have a delivery arriving between 8-10am, and then the guard turns the truck away when he shows up at 9am because "the loading dock isn't available until 9:30?"
Does anyone REALLY need to drink five "Grey Goose and Red Bulls" in one night?
What will I find if I go "to the left, to the left?"
How come I could walk into my local Panda Express and order my food in Spanish, but Chinese is simply met with blank stares?
I saw a guy in the Tournament of Roses Parade on New Year's Day with a jet pack -- where the hell is mine?
Do goth boys prefer to do it in total darkness?
How come my Asian friends can typically wear my clothes but I can't wear theirs? (OK, actually, I'm pretty sure I know the answer to that one)
How many visits to Sears should it take to get a washer and dryer and have it delivered?
Why does Tarzan scream when he's swinging on a vine? Is he scared?
How big is too big? I mean, really.
Why is it called a "manicure" if most men won't get one?
How come Colorado had three easy winters while we lived there, then it gets smacked with three blizzards in three weeks while it's 70 degrees here in DC?
Shouldn't everyone have at least one blog post per year with "boogers" in the title?
Labels: Life
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I've known you a long time and happen to recall a few cases of eye boogers. Of course, I just never told you they were there. :-)
I have tried very hard not to ask questions about 2006. Actually, I have avoided every year. Its just too scary and traumatizing.
The only question I want the answer to is this; When the hell is the newly reformatted Diary-X coming back?
The only question I want the answer to is this; When the hell is the newly reformatted Diary-X coming back?
Tracy: um, thanks?
Just Me: I'll drop you a note. I'm there 19-21 Jan
Jamaal: you are the hottest goth boy I know, so I will defer to your expertise
Patti: the fewer questions you and I ask about 2006, the better
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Just Me: I'll drop you a note. I'm there 19-21 Jan
Jamaal: you are the hottest goth boy I know, so I will defer to your expertise
Patti: the fewer questions you and I ask about 2006, the better
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