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For the record, a Singapore Sling is not something used by leather daddies among the SG crowd. Instead, it's a drink made famous at Raffles, a historic hotel there. Due to an unfortunate incident involving gin in college, I have since avoided that particular liquor and so did not partake of a Singapore Sling. Instead, when I was at Raffles (actually, at the big mall next to it) I had Haagen-Daaz ice cream, which is much better any way you look at it.

So, Singapore. Fabled for its gay websites (SGBoy and Fridae come to mind) as well as its caning (again, not something the leather daddies do...unless you say "please."). I had been curious about Singapore for years, first, because I had students from there in the mid-90s, and second, because I'd made a number of online friends there, mostly through Fridae.com.

By the way, if any Singaporean friends are reading this going "excuse me, but why didn't you tell me you were coming?," the reality is I only had 4 days there and knew that if I spread myself too thin (again, not something leather daddies necessarily do) I would have only minimal time with people and no quality time. As a result, I limited myself to contacting only three friends, one of whom, as it turned out, blew me off, which irked me a bit as it meant I could have met up with someone else, but there you go. On the other hand, one of these friends spent a lot of time with me, and introduced me to HIS friends there, and showed me a great time, so I certainly can't complain. In fact, thanks largely to Allan, I really fell in love with Singapore.



Allan, with whom I've been chatting for years, is a doll. I had e-mailed him a few weeks before coming over and he sounded excited about finally meeting. A few days before heading overseas I called him and heard his voice for the first time -- he has the most charming British accent! Anyway, after running around Bangkok for a weekend it was nice to be heading for a relaxing week in S'pore.

So I hit town Monday afternoon and picked up a SIM card for my phone. Yay for that because it made it much easier to stay in touch. Allan was still at work (he's a publicist in a PR firm) but would pick me up around 7 for dinner. He asked if I minded if we had dinner with his best friends, as they've been getting together every Monday for 8 years...what a sweet tradition.

He picked me up in a cab (trivia note: there are 22,000 cabs in S'pore) and off we went to meet his friends. He's a country music fan and he held my hand in the taxi, two things I will always remember about him. His friends were fantastic, and I've always believed you can tell a lot about a person by his friends, and based on that I can tell he's a very open, very honest guy. I could tell these guys shared everything, and that was cool because the fact they were doing that with me there meant they'd accepted me. In fact, that was one of the things about S'pore I really appreciated -- I felt accepted there.

Allan and I hung out quite a bit, 3 of the 4 nights I was there, even though he picked up a bad cold/flu during the week. I met more of his friends as we went out for dinner and drinks. In our time with his friends and our time with just the two of us I got to know Allan very well and I'm glad I did because he's truly a wonderful person.

He's not the only person I saw, of course. There was Alcan, another guy I know from Fridae, and I also met Alfred, an adorable bartender at this one club (Tantric) who's partnered with the bar's owner, and a very nice bar it was. The gay scene in S'pore is still fairly closeted but slowly coming out of its closet -- it feels like the US probably did 20 years ago. And there are definitely some cuties there.

S'pore is a beautiful place. I stayed in Chinatown, which was very cool, and so there are so many neighborhoods that are all different. It's a very clean, and very safe, place. The national pastime appears to be shopping, though that may be more for the benefit of the Chinese and Japanese tourists. There were lots of European stores, and they're very excited because they finally got a Gap and there are 1 or 2 more coming. And of course there was the street market, too. I think one of the neat things about all that is that a lot of that development has really only happened in the last 40 years...Singapore has grown dramatically from a sleepy British colony to a major international city in a fairly short time.

As I was flying overseas I read in The Economist that Singapore is trying hard to recruit foreign talent, especially of the critical thinking, broad vision type, which sounds kinda like, well, me. I think if I was going to live in Asia it would be Singapore. I could go play in other places but I think S'pore would be the best home base. It has its problems, sure, but the expats I talked to didn't find them all that onerous, and I think if I wanted to try living there for a few years I could probably handle it.

The food, by the way, is great. I ate a few meals in Chinatown, often not knowing what I was getting but it tasted good all the same. I had stingray for the first time, courtesy of Allan, and Ben in New York had sent me a list of foods to try (he's from there), all of which were tasty. I think I will see Ben on a trip to New York at some point and I'll have to take him out to dinner as a "thank you" because he gave me lots of good info for the trip (even providing names of friends in case the people I was meeting flaked out).

Overall, a blast. I met up with a real sweetie (thank you, Allan!!) and got to know a few new people. I will definitely visit there again someday, not only to see some other Fridae friends but more importantly to see these new friends again. What a special bunch of guys.

Oh, and Singapore Airlines is the best airline anywhere ever in the history of everything.