Sunday, July 16, 2006
Closing Time
My first semester of grad school I worked on a project examining the financial benefits to the District of Columbia of building a new baseball stadium here. At that time, in 1999, we concluded it was a bad idea. Now, in 2006, I still think it's a bad idea, but now I think that primarily because it means the closing of Velvet Nation.
Nation, the warehouse-style home of Saturday night's big gay party in DC, held it's last party last night because it's being torn down during the stadium-related construction in that area, and I'm a little sad. Maybe it seems silly to mourn the loss of a nightclub, especially one which included some things (like drugs) that I don't have anything to do with. But I have some memories at Velvet, some things that I have connected my past with my future, and I am sorry to see it go.
Of course, we all know that on January 13, 2001 -- my 35th birthday -- Adrian and I met at Velvet. That night has become the greatest night ever because it gave me a life much happier than any I could have imagined. Last night, before we left for the final time around 4:30 am, I took Adrian back to the spot where we met and we danced like we were the only two people in there (never mind the hundreds of sweaty bodies around us). I will always be grateful to that club for what it gave me.
But there's more...
It was at Velvet that I first saw Arlington Michael in the flesh, though neither of us knew it. We had met up online, on PlanetOut back when that was fun to do (and also free) and he had almost deleted my e-mail because I had decided to have fun with it, which he interpreted to mean I was insane. But he relented and agreed to go out with me. A few nights before our first date I was at Velvet and as I was leaving I saw a guy and thought "that looks a lot like Michael," which it turns out it was. He was on a date with someone else. Obviously, I proved to be more fun as we dated for 3 months before we realized (actually, he realized) we'd be better friends that boyfriends. I think he was right.
It was at Velvet that I met Steve, coincidentally the same night I saw Michael (in fact, I was leaving to walk Steve back to his car when I saw Michael, which was somewhat ironic because 5 months later, THEY were dating). Steve was there with a lady friend of his because he was just coming out and she wanted to take him to a gay club where he might meet a cute guy. Obviously, he did. :P We danced, and I seem to recall we even kissed a few times. He was good at it, too. Steve has impressed all of us by going on to do all the things he said he was going to do with his life. He's an interesting an mysterious fellow, and I'm happy that Velvet allowed us to meet.
It was at Velvet that I realized that Khamla, Adrian's brother, liked me, and that was pretty important. They are pretty close (it helps that both are gay) and I really wanted him to like me as that might mean the difference between Adrian going out with me or not. I don't remember exactly what he did but after a group of us were out one night I got the idea that I'd met with his approval and it would all be good. Khamla was out with us last night and the difference between him then and him now is striking. The good stuff all remained, and improved, as he became more comfortable with himself over the years and gained more confidence in himself. I love him and am so happy to have him in my life.
It was at Velvet where I met the one-balled wonder who drove up from Woodbridge a few nights later to my apartment to talk for a bit, give me a blowjob, ask me to take a trip to Quebec with him, then never call again.
It was at Velvet that I first met Richmond Michael in person. We had written e-mails before and soon after my first move to DC back in '99, but it wasn't until December that we finally met up. I still have the "candy" he gave me one night, a cute little bracelet he'd made for me (Michael was a candy raver in those days) and I always loved seeing him there because he was always so happy. We saw each other outside of the club, of course, but there was always something special about seeing him there. Michael really kept the flame of youth burning brightly inside me, reminding me that I didn't have to follow some preordained path through my 30s and into the inevitable "middle age" but instead could have the experiences I wanted to have and sample the things I wanted to sample regardless of my age. He has also made me feel over the years that I have made a positive difference in his life, and frankly, that's all I've ever wanted to do.
It was at Velvet that Dancin' Mike let me know that he liked me for who I was, not just as "a friend of a friend." He and Richmond Michael had stayed with me for a week in the spring of 2000 when they were each having trouble at home, and that was when I met Mike. I really liked him, he was such a nice guy (remember the cake!), and he seemed to like me too, but it was a stressful time for him so emotions can be hard to read. But at the end of that week we were all at Velvet where he told me how he respected me and was really comfortable with me and felt he could be open with me, and that really meant (and still means) a lot. He, too, makes me feel like I make a difference, and that means so much. I saw him there just last week and he was as fun as ever, and we saw him last night after he danced a wonderful show on the main stage. As I have for years, I continue to see so much potential in him, and I hope he sees it in himself.
It was at Velvet that I picked up a guy who later turned out to be Johnny Depp, finding it out only after we'd had really mind-blowing sex, then having him go back to women because he knew sex would never be as good with another man as it was with me. (OK, that didn't really happen, but c'mon, it could have. In an alternate universe.) Actually, I never once picked up anyone at Velvet and took him home. Since I was usually there until after 3am, taking someone home didn't really fit into my schedule.
But Velvet wasn't just about my connections to others. It was about my connection to myself.
It was at Velvet that I really began to enjoy dancing, to feel the energy of lots of other people around me and become a part of it, feeding off of it while feeding into it. Dancing is the only time I feel truly unconstrained, dropping away the pressures of work and school and daily life to just feel music running through me and let it carry me. I may look like a chicken with epilepsy, but it's ok because once I'm there I'm just about dancing. Nobody gives a damn about my job or my PhD at Velvet.
It was at Velvet that I became more comfortable with myself...I believe it's the first place I ever felt good about dancing without a shirt (the unfortunate incident in Atlanta is best forgotten by everyone). I didn't feel pressure to hit on anyone, I didn't feel like I was being judged (even though I'm sure I was), I didn't feel like I had to do anything but have fun. Other people go to clubs and get wrapped up in "the scene" and "drama" but for me it was about just feeling good about myself.
It was at Velvet that I experienced (without taking any) some idea about what it feels like to do ecstasy. Like I said, I didn't do it, I don't think I'd even had more than a beer to drink, but that night I experienced feelings I'd never had before and haven't had since. I even danced with glowsticks. (on a side note...does the death of Velvet finally mean an end to glowsticks? Nah, I don't think so either.)
Bottom line: this was a place that made me feel good about myself, especially at times when I really needed it. It helped me connect and grow closer with people in one environment in a way that translated to others. It gave me a break from the stress of working on my PhD. And most importantly, it introduced me to the love of my life, who is at the moment sitting 5 feet away and doesn't know I'm pausing every few seconds to stare at him.
For me, the end of Velvet may mean the end of warehouse clubs. Sure, when I make it back to London I'll definitely visit Heaven and G-A-Y, but there's no replacement in sight here in DC, and when I go to San Francisco or New York I tend to prefer somewhat smaller clubs with smaller dance floors and smaller crowds, like The Cafe and Badlands in SF and The Web in NYC. Maybe I'm done with this phase of my life. Velvet Nation was the first of the big clubs for me, and perhaps it should be the last. We'll see.
So now maybe you can see why the end of this place matters to me.
And maybe, just maybe, my ears will stop ringing by tomorrow.
Nation, the warehouse-style home of Saturday night's big gay party in DC, held it's last party last night because it's being torn down during the stadium-related construction in that area, and I'm a little sad. Maybe it seems silly to mourn the loss of a nightclub, especially one which included some things (like drugs) that I don't have anything to do with. But I have some memories at Velvet, some things that I have connected my past with my future, and I am sorry to see it go.
Of course, we all know that on January 13, 2001 -- my 35th birthday -- Adrian and I met at Velvet. That night has become the greatest night ever because it gave me a life much happier than any I could have imagined. Last night, before we left for the final time around 4:30 am, I took Adrian back to the spot where we met and we danced like we were the only two people in there (never mind the hundreds of sweaty bodies around us). I will always be grateful to that club for what it gave me.
But there's more...
It was at Velvet that I first saw Arlington Michael in the flesh, though neither of us knew it. We had met up online, on PlanetOut back when that was fun to do (and also free) and he had almost deleted my e-mail because I had decided to have fun with it, which he interpreted to mean I was insane. But he relented and agreed to go out with me. A few nights before our first date I was at Velvet and as I was leaving I saw a guy and thought "that looks a lot like Michael," which it turns out it was. He was on a date with someone else. Obviously, I proved to be more fun as we dated for 3 months before we realized (actually, he realized) we'd be better friends that boyfriends. I think he was right.
It was at Velvet that I met Steve, coincidentally the same night I saw Michael (in fact, I was leaving to walk Steve back to his car when I saw Michael, which was somewhat ironic because 5 months later, THEY were dating). Steve was there with a lady friend of his because he was just coming out and she wanted to take him to a gay club where he might meet a cute guy. Obviously, he did. :P We danced, and I seem to recall we even kissed a few times. He was good at it, too. Steve has impressed all of us by going on to do all the things he said he was going to do with his life. He's an interesting an mysterious fellow, and I'm happy that Velvet allowed us to meet.
It was at Velvet that I realized that Khamla, Adrian's brother, liked me, and that was pretty important. They are pretty close (it helps that both are gay) and I really wanted him to like me as that might mean the difference between Adrian going out with me or not. I don't remember exactly what he did but after a group of us were out one night I got the idea that I'd met with his approval and it would all be good. Khamla was out with us last night and the difference between him then and him now is striking. The good stuff all remained, and improved, as he became more comfortable with himself over the years and gained more confidence in himself. I love him and am so happy to have him in my life.
It was at Velvet where I met the one-balled wonder who drove up from Woodbridge a few nights later to my apartment to talk for a bit, give me a blowjob, ask me to take a trip to Quebec with him, then never call again.
It was at Velvet that I first met Richmond Michael in person. We had written e-mails before and soon after my first move to DC back in '99, but it wasn't until December that we finally met up. I still have the "candy" he gave me one night, a cute little bracelet he'd made for me (Michael was a candy raver in those days) and I always loved seeing him there because he was always so happy. We saw each other outside of the club, of course, but there was always something special about seeing him there. Michael really kept the flame of youth burning brightly inside me, reminding me that I didn't have to follow some preordained path through my 30s and into the inevitable "middle age" but instead could have the experiences I wanted to have and sample the things I wanted to sample regardless of my age. He has also made me feel over the years that I have made a positive difference in his life, and frankly, that's all I've ever wanted to do.
It was at Velvet that Dancin' Mike let me know that he liked me for who I was, not just as "a friend of a friend." He and Richmond Michael had stayed with me for a week in the spring of 2000 when they were each having trouble at home, and that was when I met Mike. I really liked him, he was such a nice guy (remember the cake!), and he seemed to like me too, but it was a stressful time for him so emotions can be hard to read. But at the end of that week we were all at Velvet where he told me how he respected me and was really comfortable with me and felt he could be open with me, and that really meant (and still means) a lot. He, too, makes me feel like I make a difference, and that means so much. I saw him there just last week and he was as fun as ever, and we saw him last night after he danced a wonderful show on the main stage. As I have for years, I continue to see so much potential in him, and I hope he sees it in himself.
It was at Velvet that I picked up a guy who later turned out to be Johnny Depp, finding it out only after we'd had really mind-blowing sex, then having him go back to women because he knew sex would never be as good with another man as it was with me. (OK, that didn't really happen, but c'mon, it could have. In an alternate universe.) Actually, I never once picked up anyone at Velvet and took him home. Since I was usually there until after 3am, taking someone home didn't really fit into my schedule.
But Velvet wasn't just about my connections to others. It was about my connection to myself.
It was at Velvet that I really began to enjoy dancing, to feel the energy of lots of other people around me and become a part of it, feeding off of it while feeding into it. Dancing is the only time I feel truly unconstrained, dropping away the pressures of work and school and daily life to just feel music running through me and let it carry me. I may look like a chicken with epilepsy, but it's ok because once I'm there I'm just about dancing. Nobody gives a damn about my job or my PhD at Velvet.
It was at Velvet that I became more comfortable with myself...I believe it's the first place I ever felt good about dancing without a shirt (the unfortunate incident in Atlanta is best forgotten by everyone). I didn't feel pressure to hit on anyone, I didn't feel like I was being judged (even though I'm sure I was), I didn't feel like I had to do anything but have fun. Other people go to clubs and get wrapped up in "the scene" and "drama" but for me it was about just feeling good about myself.
It was at Velvet that I experienced (without taking any) some idea about what it feels like to do ecstasy. Like I said, I didn't do it, I don't think I'd even had more than a beer to drink, but that night I experienced feelings I'd never had before and haven't had since. I even danced with glowsticks. (on a side note...does the death of Velvet finally mean an end to glowsticks? Nah, I don't think so either.)
Bottom line: this was a place that made me feel good about myself, especially at times when I really needed it. It helped me connect and grow closer with people in one environment in a way that translated to others. It gave me a break from the stress of working on my PhD. And most importantly, it introduced me to the love of my life, who is at the moment sitting 5 feet away and doesn't know I'm pausing every few seconds to stare at him.
For me, the end of Velvet may mean the end of warehouse clubs. Sure, when I make it back to London I'll definitely visit Heaven and G-A-Y, but there's no replacement in sight here in DC, and when I go to San Francisco or New York I tend to prefer somewhat smaller clubs with smaller dance floors and smaller crowds, like The Cafe and Badlands in SF and The Web in NYC. Maybe I'm done with this phase of my life. Velvet Nation was the first of the big clubs for me, and perhaps it should be the last. We'll see.
So now maybe you can see why the end of this place matters to me.
And maybe, just maybe, my ears will stop ringing by tomorrow.
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The burning question is did you ever wear the pleather pants to Velvet? Even after we told you that you could only get away with the in Atlanta? And don't try to deny that you had them...I have pictures!
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