Saturday, March 31, 2001
March 2001
1 Mar 2001
Running, running, running
This week has been VERY fast-paced. I've gone from "lazy Bill" to "crazy Bill" in a matter of a day or two. However, I managed to get (almost) everything done before classes tonight. And I managed to stop off and see Nick at school before going to class, so that makes it a good day by anybody's definition.
We had some goomba come talk to my Ethics class tonight. One of his handouts discussed "The Liberal Dilemma" but he explained that he didn't mean "liberal" in a perjorative sense. EXCUSE me???? Since when is "liberal," as a political term, a bad thing to call someone? Since when is it offensive? That was one of the first things he said, and it really turned me off to the rest of his presentation. I realize people have biases, hell I do to, but DON'T piss off members of your audience right off the bat. And just because you're conservative doesn't have to mean you're a dick. Where did they find this guy?
One thing I realized in my Wednesday night class: if I ever feel like I'm not "getting it" in this program, like I'm not advancing along with my peers, all I have to do is look at the master's degree students in my classes. I'm not putting them down or anything, because I was once in their shoes, doing and saying the same things as them. And it's obvious I'm come far since those days. Of course, those days were about 8 years ago.
There are few things more difficult for me than to sit and watch someone give a presentation when they have no clue how to be an effective public speaker. I realize that I was lucky in preparing myself: I was on the debate team in high school, and took undergrad and master's courses that gave me lots of practice speaking. Of course, 4 years of teaching helped, too. But it was painful Wednesday night to watch some of the paper proposals that people were giving. I couldn't even look at some of them 'cuz I just felt so bad for them. It was obvious that a few of them were absolutely terrified. Poor saps. Don't they know it's just going to get worse if they don't start practicing? Anyone who's reading this thinking Gee, I'm not comfortable speaking in public either should seriously consider getting comfortable with it. An inability to get up in front of people and give a presentation is going to seriously limit you later on. Unless you're planning a career as an accountant. Because nobody wants to talk to accountants anyway.
My friend Douglas wrote that he doesn't really like the new photo on the title page of my website. Any other thoughts out there?
I am a tired, tired puppy dog tonight. I'm going to do some packing and take care of a couple things here, then go to bed. Friday I have to finish packing, finish up some details here, have lunch with Adrian, then go to the airport. I hope I have time to go to the gym. I had McDonalds tonight. Bad Bill...needs a spanking.
2 Mar 2001
Here we go
The bags are packed.
The bills are paid.
The dishes are washed.
The coffee pot is unplugged (I think).
That's it...it's time to go to London!!
3 Mar 2001
London, 3 Mar, 2:12pm
OK, Diary-x puts the diary time in Eastern Time, so my titles will be in British time. Just because.
Anyway, I made it here to London this morning. The pilot said it was snowing for 3 hours before we landed but it's a clear, beautiful day here now. OK, it's colder than I normally like it, and the breeze blowing up my pants leg caused certain body parts to get a lot smaller, but otherwise it's fine. Since I couldn't check into my hotel right away I took the Tube to check out a big outdoor market and then went to SoHo to look around a bit. There are a couple shows in the West End I'd like to see while I'm here, so that may work out. All in all, look like a good start to the trip.
I have to say, though, that a few folks on the flight gave new meaning to the term "ugly American." I almost felt like I should apologize to the British immigration guy for being on the same plane with them. =) And there was ONE cute guy flight attendant on my plane, and naturally, he was working the other side of the cabin. sigh.
That's all for now. More to follow as soon as something happens. And now, I can go check into my hotel. And I will. 'cuz I am one tired puppy dog.
4 Mar 2001
London, 4 Mar, 10:30pm
I think I'm finally beating the jet lag. I fought a losing battle with the snooze button this morning, but finally beat it around 11:30. It's still a little chilly here but I managed to get out and see Shakespeare's Globe Theater, among other things, and have dinner tonight in a cool little place in Chinatown.
And if anyone heard about a car-bomb-threat at Victoria Station this afternoon, don't worry about me, I had evacuated the station and was at least 100 yards away when I heard something blow up. I guess the cops blew up what they thought was a bomb; I haven't heard yet if it was or not.
Saturday night I hit a club called Heaven, which is huge, bigger than anything in DC. Last year I went there on my first night and had fun, but was pretty much on my own for the whole night. This year, though, was a different story. I met a really nice guy about 15 minutes after getting in there, and we ended up hanging out all night. He introduced me to his friends and we went between the three different bars there, with great music in all three. He was very cool, 30, extremely friendly, and just finished his PhD last week. It's nice to see that people DO finish their doctorates; it gives me hope!!! He went to school in Liverpool, though his friends are from here, and they included a doctor, a master's student, and other such folk.
Question: why don't people like ths go out in DC? I mean, there are some very fun people who go to the clubs, but why is it that so many people in that city don't seem to like to go out, almost as if they're too good to go to clubs or they'd rather just stay home watching TV? It's not just an American thing; Atlanta and New York clubs are full of older people with advanced degrees or who are in the professions, or otherwise full of ambition. Why is DC so different?
More of my anthropological ramblings as they occur to me...
7 Mar 2001
Paris, 7 March, 9:30pm
Yes, that's right...Paris.
There's been a minor change in plans.
At the last minute (well, technically, at the 45th-to-last minute) I decided to spend Tuesday through Thursday in Paris instead of Glasgow, Scotland.
Why?
Could it be the fact that London is currently under IRA Alert?
No, though there was a bombing outside the BBC building about 12:30am Sunday. The pix in the paper were very impressive. I was at Victoria Station Sunday afternoon when there was a bomb scare there. The explosion I heard turned out not to be a bomb; it was the police robot firing a round into a van to open it up and take a look at the suspected bomb inside. Man, talk about your bad penalties for parking in a No Parking zone. These folks do take counterterrorism seriously, and for very good reason, as demonstrated the other night. Now I know why the Tube is so dirty; they took out all the trash cans because the IRA used to put bombs in them.
Could it be because blokes kept trying to put their hands down my knickers while dancing?
No, but it COULD be because I know I've been in the UK long enough when I start using words like "blokes" and "knickers." It was weird; Monday night I met 2 guys at the Pink Pounder (it's gay, it costs a pound; get it?) who tried to grope me. One had the hots for me, and his friend said they were looking for someone he could shag. I let him know that someone wasn't going to be me, but that didn't stop him from trying to cop a feel, just so he "had something to remember the night by." Whatever; get away. Then another guy, pretty cute, with whom I'd been dancing for all of two minutes tries to put his hand down my pants and asks, "should we go back to your place?" Um, no.
I came to Paris because 4 people suggested it this week, and I am grateful to them. Today I saw many of the cool tourist things you're supposed to see, and Thursday I'm going to the Louvre before going back to London in the evening. French boys are kinda cute, but not too friendly. And I had trouble last night finding a dance club (though the fact that it was a Tuesday might've had something to do with that).
So this has been an adventure. I was literally on my way to the Glasgow train when I decided to pop into a student travel centre and see what a ticket on Eurostar would cost. It was incredibly cheap for a student. So I booked a seat and had 45 minutes to get online, cancel my Glasgow hotel, get to Waterloo Station, fix up my new student ID, and get on the train. I bought a Paris guidebook as I was running for the train. Once here I figured out the Metro, got some cash, and found a hotel (in the gay district, no less). And it's been cool ever since.
Remember: it's adventures that keep you young.
8 Mar 2001
London, 8 March, 9:51pm
OK, so, I'm back in London. And naturally, I returned to Waterloo Station just in time for another IRA bomb scare. Those guys are getting annoying.
Paris was very cool. I'm not sure about the Parisians themselves, but Paris was definitely fun to visit. I'm so glad I decided to jump on that train! On Wednesday I visited the Eiffel Tower (with an INCREDIBLE view of the city!), the Arc de Triomphe, and Notre Dame Cathedral. Thursday, River and his roommate were in town (got in from Amsterdam Wednesday night) so River and I went to the Louvre and had lunch before I had to catch the Eurostar back to London at 4pm. I was glad when the trip was over; I was sitting next to a really bad episode of "Sex in the City: The College Years," three American female-type students who would not shut up with their inane chatter about nothing. The bomb threat was a welcome relief.
I didn't really go clubbing in Paris. Tuesday night I visited some bars near my hotel, but they were "stand and model" bars, and I wasn't too into any of the models there. Wednesday night River and I were playing phone tag, and I was beat anyway, so I didn't feel like heading out to the club on the Champs Elysee, especially since I knew I'd be going out Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights in London. Believe me, that'll be enough.
And to be honest, it would help to speak the language if I'm going to a club by myself. One more reason I really like London. In fact, pulling into the station today felt like coming home. For the first time ever, I really feel i could live in London. I really, really like this place.
That's all for now. Gotta go get ready to go out. Cheers!
9 Mar 2001
London, 9 March, 9:59pm
Just a quick entry before going down to SoHo. I'm not going dancing tonight; though "Camp Attack" at G-A-Y was a very fun party when I went last year, I was dancing until 4am today, and I had to get up before 8 to go get a ticket for a show tonight. And Saturday, I'm getting up kinda early to catch a train and go visit the town of Bristol, before returning to the States on Sunday. So, I could use some beauty sleep tonight, and thus will merely be strolling around the crowds.
But I did manage to accomplish something I couldn't do last year: I got to see Mamma Mia. This is a musical that incorporates the music of ABBA. Yes, ABBA. There are 22 ABBA songs in it, and the story was written around them. It was pretty fun; the acting was a bit over the top, but then again, so was ABBA. And it was fun to see how they wrote the transitions from dialogue into song. It's a romantic comedy, somewhat topsy-turvy as Gilbert and Sullivan might say. The acting was not the absolute greatest, some of the dialogue was a bit stilted, but it was a fun night. When I was here last year I stood in line 4 nights trying to get a ticket, to no avail; it was the top show in London. But it's dropped to number 2, and by sneaking over to the box office as soon as they opened today, I was able to snag a 7th-row seat that someone had cancelled. Yay for 7th-row seats!
The show is currently touring in America, and the plan was to go see it for Tracy's birthday when it hit DC in July. But it's already been delayed in DC because it's being extended on the west coast. I might graduate and move before it comes to Washington, so I thought I should see it now.
OK, maybe it helps to be a child of the 70s in order to fully appreciate this show. But even if you weren't sentient in the 70s (and frankly, not too many people were) you'd probably have a good time.
OK, that's it...time to go see what kind of trouble I can stay out of. :P
(Oh, and I missed another bomb scare by 5 minutes today. I've been studying terrorism for a few years now, but it's interesting to see the effects up close and personal.)
10 Mar 2001
London, 10 March, 9:40pm
I just had a VERY interesting day.
This morning I caught a train to Bristol, which is a university town a couple hours west of here. In Bristol, I met up with a fellow named Fabian. Fabulous Fabian and I have been reading each other's journals and corresponding over the last few months, and today we overcame a few thousand miles difference and met face to face.
Fabes is a wonderful guy, as I knew he would be from reading his thoughts since last year. (hmmm, that makes me sound like a psychic...well, maybe I am...I mean, how would YOU know?) We spent the afternoon hanging out and talking. He showed me his school, his neighborhood, and some of his favorite haunts, which is great since now I can picture these places when he talks about them (literally picture them in some cases, as I made sure to snap a photo of one particularly important spot). He also took me to a shop where I could buy some of the fabulous flares he was wearing, so that once again I will be on the cutting edge of fashion in America (meaning I'll be wearing these NOW,and I'll probably stop about the same time they hit the US).
What a great day. I was in town about seven hours and we spent the whole time talking, getting to know each other better than we could off of a computer screen. I was pleased that he was willing to meet me; after all, not everyone would meet up with someone from overseas that they've only known online.
However, this should serve as a warning to other folks: I don't get to know people well and open up to them through the Net unless I expect to meet them for real some day. So whether you live in Texas or Quebec, Singapore or British Columbia, or some other spot in between, if you and I have been getting to know each other well, chances are I'll be in your neighborhood some day and would enjoy the chance to sit down over a cup of coffee and chat.
So, today was wonderful. Fabulous Fabian was all I thought he'd be and more. (and yes, Fabes, you're a cutie...there, I know you were looking for that [grin]). Seriously, it's so nice to know the 3-dimensional person behind the 2-dimensional screen. It just goes to show that the Net isn't an end unto itself; it's merely a tool that really can bring people together in ways they never would have before. Just ask Mirza and Peter about that...ahh, but that's a story for another time...
Heading back to the States on Sunday. Looking forward to seeing Adrian; I've missed that guy! Oh, yeah, and Andy, Tracy, Michael, Steve, Kenneth, River (who I don't miss TOO much, since I saw him in Paris!) and everyone else; boy, wouldn't it be a fun trip if we could ALL come over here sometime?
But do you think the UK could really handle that?
11 Mar 2001
London, 11 March, 12:01pm
Headed home.
Last night was odd, but fun. Went to G-A-Y to see a group called Hear'say, which is a "Making the Band" kind of thing: a singing group forming on the TV series "Popstars." Last night was their first public performance, and it was at a gay club; cool, eh? (and being filmed for the show, I should add)
But I didn't get to see them; the queue was too long and the club filled before I got in. We had to wait for the show to end to get in and dance. I probably would've given up but I met three great guys: Chris, Undi (I know I'm spelling that wrong, but you get the idea) and Phill. Chris was the only gay one in the group and it was nice to go dancing without having the pressure of some guy coming onto me strong. Actually, I had a girl proposition me; imagine that. I was really impressed by Phill, he had a guy hit on him and try to kiss him, but Phill handled it very well and without hurting the guy's feelings. Nice; most straight guys I know aren't so polite.
So, I got home at 5, went straight to bed, and now am off to the airport. What a great trip this has been. Precisely what I needed. It'll be interesting to go back and review the journal entries of the last week.
OK, this is Bill signing off from London. Cheers!!!
12 Mar 2001
Tired puppy
Made it back okay. And the jet lag is hitting hard.
Adrian picked me up at the airport last night (what a sweetie) and stayed over. It was definitely nice to cuddle up!
I went downtown to have lunch with Tracy and went by the salon to see Adrian at work. I ended up staying until they closed, and even helped out a bit when they got really busy (don't worry, I was just answering the phone, not cutting hair!!). He then dropped me off on the way home.
Tonight I made a couple calls to get caught up with folks but I am so tired I think I need to get to bed, to try to get my body back on schedule. And so, this will be a short entry. Nighty nite!
13 Mar 2001
Jet lag blows
I really need for my body clock to get back on track. I start feeling a little weird around midday, like I can't concentrate, then I'm really, really tired by 9, and feeling quite strange by 10.
Not that this is much different from my normal day.
But at least today I managed to get a bunch of schoolwork done. Most importantly, I finished up a United Nations training course that we have to do for one of my classes. Well, perhaps even more importantly than that, I did laundry today.
I suppose, if I run out of clothes, I could do like Adrian does -- Monday he wore one of my shirts to work. Of course, he had to go into the "small" end of the closet. But damn, he looked good.
Tonight I went and saw Kenneth at the coffee shop and ended up there for 2 hours, not getting any reading done but just generally having a good time. Kenneth got cast for a part in an upcoming play! That's 2 so far this year, and it's only March!! While he was working I spent some time talking with a couple friends of his. Every now and then you need to sit down and have coffee with a couple high school seniors just to get their take on the world.
Adrian called as I was getting home. He had bought me a present and was on his way over with it. He and his brother showed up and we went out for dessert. He had gotten me a teddy bear at a store where you make them yourself ("Build-A-Bear," I believe it's called). The bear's name is Adrian (though he's a little darker than the REAL Adrian), he's wearing a University of Virginia t-shirt (both Adrian and I went there) and he's got a cute little trick bag on his back with tiny books about wine and chocolate. How cute is that???? Anyway, I know who I'm cuddling up with tonight!
Speaking of which, it is bedtime for me. Laterz!
14 Mar 2001
yawn
OK, first of all: my e-mail is down. Verizon has been having serious problems for a couple days, perhaps because they are incompetent buffoons. Or perhaps for other reasons. And I can't get my web host to stop forwarding mail to my Verizon account. Perhaps because my host is run by buffoons as well. Who knows?
Anyone who has sent me e-mail in the last couple of days, please note that I haven't received any of it, so please resend to my backup account. I'm sure there are at least 30 or 40 of you who have sent me mail.
Well, maybe 1 or 2.
This morning I got an e-mail from someone in one of my Thursday classes. He just wanted to get my feedback on his notes for tomorrow's class, since we're supposed to come in prepared to discuss a case we reviewed in class two weeks ago.
Uh oh.
I totally forgot about it. So I think I will be spending Thursday morning reviewing my notes on the case and coming up with something witty and urbane to say about it. Maybe I could just use words like "witty" and "urbane."
Of course, on Thursday afternoon I will be watching the Virginia Cavaliers in the first round of the NCAA basketball tournament. They are playing against Gonzaga University. I once met a guy who went to law school at Gonzaga. It turned out that he used a lot of drugs. Maybe everyone at Gonzaga uses a lot of drugs. And then their basketball team would suck. And we would win.
Hey, you can always hope.
17 Mar 2001
A little catching up to do
The last couple of days have been a mix of frenzied bursts of activity and mind-numbing exhaustion. Let's see if we can make sense of it all, eh? (I threw in that "eh?" for the benefit of my Canadian friends.)
(warning: I just finished this entry, and it's a LONG one, so I came back to the top to let you know you should probably go to the bathroom now, 'cuz there are no breaks later)
First of all:
I THINK my website e-mail is working again. Between problems at Verizon and some technical difficulties with my web host, I've pretty much been without it since Tuesday. Unfortunately, anyone sending me e-mail has gotten an "Undeliverable Message" response, so not only do friends think I hate them, and potential new friends think I don't want to talk to them, but I've probably missed out on some cool thoughts. So, if anyone DID e-mail me this week but didn't get through, PLEASE resend your message. And if folks could send me a note through the link below, just so I can tell if my mail is working or not, that would be great.
Well, what have I learned in the last couple days? First, I learned that, despite:
* 13 years of elementary and secondary education
* 4 years of undergraduate education
* 2 years spent on a master's degree
* 1 1/2 years (so far) on my PhD
I still can't read. The UVA basketball game that I was so excited about watching on Thursday was actually on Friday. I had planned my day, my homework, my time-to-drive-to-school around Virginia's first-round play in the NCAA Tournament on Thursday. Too bad it was the next day. Alas, they lost anyway, by one point at the last second. Of course, if you think about it, one team or the other loses EVERY game at the last second.
The team was playing like a bunch of nuns with leprosy, compared to other games they've played this season. Oh, well, at least they had a good year, being ranked in the Top 15 most of the season. Our women's team plays later today, and hopefully they will have better luck, though this has not been a good year for our normally-top-of-the-rankings women's basketball team.
So I finished up all my schoolwork Thursday and headed out to campus. My Ethics class got a little heated, as it probably should have been all semester; I mean, who can agree on Ethics? We were reading chapters from our professor's upcoming book on Congressional ethics (yeah, I know, "contradiction in terms," trust me I've heard it all). Then I headed to my Org Theory class, where my professor grabbed the other doctoral student and I and said "if you want to do something different for the final project, like doing a research paper instead of a case study, that would be fine." That's nice of her and all, she's giving us the chance to work on something that would be helpful to our dissertations, but it's due in 5 weeks, and I'm not sure I want to start a major research paper now (that would make three this semester, and the others are pretty big). We shall see,
Thursday I got phone calls from Richmond Michael, who was coming up with a friend to go shopping. He wanted to get together that night, as we hadn't seen each other in over a month. As it turns out they finished dinner just as I got home from class, so they came over and we hung out a couple hours, then went dancing at Badlands. Of course, every home-for-Spring-Break gayboy student in DC was there for College Night so it was packed. And naturally, Michael's friend Suzanne met a guy and got felt up within 5 minutes of getting on the dance floor. I guess straight boys go to gay clubs looking for frustrated women.
Anyway, we were there until closing (at 3) then came home and sat up talking until almost 5, when they headed back to Richmond (I would've felt better if they'd stayed over, but they figured they should get back). So, Billy didn't get a lot of sleep, and I was a waste on Friday. I tried to work on one of my papers but I had writer's block in a big way. Just in case I needed a reminder as to why I don't go out on Thursday nights, that did the trick. Today I intend to make more progress.
I went to see Kenneth at the coffee house and Adrian met me there after he got off work. We all went to get a beer after Kenneth closed up, then Adrian came back and we had some quality time. We stayed up too late, though, and he had a lot of trouble getting up this morning. I'm sure he was late to class, and if you're late, they don't let you stay, they send you home. Which, in the end, will likely cost him money. Hmmmmmm. I hope it worked out okay. I don't want him to associate me with being late, and I don't want him getting behind at school.
OK, I should start working. I have lots to do before classes next week, and things always seem to pop up around the first of the week, so I need to get to work. Oh, and I'll probably be making some changes to my website. I had two good friends tell me yesterday that the photo on my home page is creepy. So I think I'll accelerate some changes I was planning on making.
18 Mar 2001
Still waiting
Saturday night was fun. Not fantabulous, but still fun. And yet...
I went to Velvet Nation and met up with Adrian, his brother, his brother's boyfriend, and two friends of theirs from his brother's store. We were there for a couple hours. Kenneth also met up with us there later. There was a good DJ, but the whole evening just felt a little off. It wasn't that crowded, but that wasn't it. I think I'm just still looking for something.
So many times I've gone to Velvet either by myself or with friends, and at some point in the evening I'll be standing on the second or third level and I'll look down upon the dance floor, and I'll see a couple. Who knows, they may have only known each other for 5 minutes, but the way they look at each other, it's like they've known one another a lifetime. They are so into each other, to the exclusion of everyone around them, and it's as if a zone has been cleared around them.
And that's what I want.
I really enjoy Velvet, most of the time, and I can get an incredible energy rush from the people and passions around me. And I want to feel that with someone else, someone special. Basically, I want to be there with my boyfriend.
In the heart of the crowd, surrounded by the thumping bass that reverbarates through our bodies, with waves of blue- and green-tinged energy emanating from all those around us, with life and heart and intensity washing over us...in the middle of this maelstrom I want to put my arms around him and pull him close and look into his eyes and see that I'm the only thing he's focused on, the only thing he sees, the only thing he feels...and I want to share the same look with him.
But it hasn't happened yet.
I've been there with each of my last two boyfriends and nothing ever clicked. One made it pretty obvious that he wasn't comfortable there, and the other was very flirtatious with others on the dance floor (which is fine, as I usually am too -- hey, I've met some great people that way, like Adrian, for instance). Last night I felt that Adrian was more interested in hanging out with his brother and his friends, and I was merely a side attraction. He just didn't look like he was having fun. It was the first time either of us had been back to Velvet since we met there on my birthday two months ago, and we definitely had a better time the night we met up (in fact, we came close to the feeling that I want to experience, though we didn't even know each other at that point so it wasn't quite the same). To be fair, the poor boy was exhausted, having worked some very long days with very little sleep recently, and frankly, I was amazed he even decided to come out. So it's not like I'm upset or anything, because I totally understand why he wasn't in a "let's go party and make Bill feel like the only person in the universe" mood, and I haven't even told him about this little psuedo-fantasy of mine yet. In all honesty, I shouldn't refer to him as my boyfriend because I'm not sure we really know where our relationship stands; neither of us has used "the b-word," as far as I know.
And so, I'm still waiting for that feeling. And it will come.
19 Mar 2001
All done
I can't believe it. I actually accomplished everything on today's "Things I Need To Get Done" list.
AND I even managed to finish something I'd planned to do Tuesday.
AND I had dinner with Adrian after he called and offered to take me out for a study break when he got off work (and he had an 11-hour day, and he was beat, and he still took me out -- how sweet!)
AND I met Terry and Nathan and Dave (electronically, anyway) who span three continents.
AND I did an update to my website, getting rid of the new picture on the first page (but I still like it, I don't care what anyone says, so it's still elsewhere on my site). Click on the link to my site and tell me what you think.
AND Tom and I made plans to do something Saturday night, which is great considering I haven't seen him since before my birthday.
AND so I am going to reward myself by going to bed at a (relatively) decent time.
G'night.
By the way...my friend Mirza in Singapore celebrates his 26th birthday on 21 March. As part of my plan to mess with his head, I thought it would be fun to have random people send him birthday greetings. So, if you want to make my day, and (hopefully) his, please send him a birthday greeting. Thanks!
21 Mar 2001
Tuesday was very different from Monday
Monday I got everything done that I intended to do. I was very efficient.
Tuesday I accomplished almost nothing I'd planned. And in the long run, it'll be better for me.
Adrian called in the early afternoon, and it turned out he was off all day for a change (between work and school, he's usually working 7 days a week). He said he wanted to go into the District, walk around the Mall, visit the National Gallery, anything but be cooped up at home doing laundry.
"Ya wanna come?," he asked.
Now, let's look at this. On the one hand, I've still got a couple hundred pages to read for Thursday's classes, I need to review a case for one of those classes, and I have some homework that has to be finished and sent to other class members by Tuesday night. On the other hand, it'll be a l-o-o-o-o-n-n-n-g time before I have a job again where I can set my own schedule, doing my work at night rather than during normal business hours, PLUS with Adrian's crazy schedule and mine, we should take the chance to get together and do stuff during the day whenever we can. So....
"Sure," I said.
And what a good day it was. We had lunch, went down to the Mall, checked out some cool exhibits at the National Gallery (Adrian took some art history courses in college, so I pumped him for information), got coffee up around Dupont Circle, did some shopping for various birthdays, got dinner, came back here and hung out. He ended up staying over, and I let him sleep in today because he really, really needed it; I just got up and went back to my work while he snoozed. We hung out here for a while, him downloading MP3s, me reading for school, then he left for work and I went to class.
What a good way to spend the first day of spring. If the Goddess had expected us to spend it indoors, she wouldn't have created an outdoors. Or something like that. And it was cool to take advantage of the city. And of my schedule.
Two weeks from now as I'm starting to get tense about my big papers, I wouldn't have remembered spending a day stuck inside with my books. But I will remember the cool day I spent with Adrian. And that will make me smile FAR more than studying ever does.
22 Mar 2001
Shifting winds
I'm glad now that I went and played on Tuesday when the opportunity suddenly presented itself. It may be a while before that happens again.
I'm getting into the period when end-of-semester stuff is coming due. I don't have any final exams this time around, but I have three big papers, the first of which is due in 3 weeks, the second of which is due the week after that, and the third is due the next week. Two of them are being presented in class, and then I'll have a couple weeks to make changes based on the other students' critiques.
All this is in addition to my regular reading and homework, of course. Plus, I have a couple of ongoing non-school-yet-related projects going on.
It's not that this is a horribly debilitating workload. But I know how I am when I'm writing, it's a stop-and-go process. And the real impact is that I won't be able to be quite as spontaneous about running off and doing stuff as I've been lately. Rather than grabbing my fun whenever I can get it, and then working later, I'll have to do my work when I can, and grab my fun later.
No biggie. But I need to let my friends know that I won't be as responsive as normal to their last-minute invites.
Of course, if they read my journal, they now know this.
It's funny how things change over a short time. Last year I was a freak. Actually, I talked to Carol the other day, who's in her first year at another school, and she sounded just like I did a year ago. (well, not JUST like me, 'cuz she stayed home and worked on a paper over Spring Break. eeeewwwwwww) I was really worried about school last year, but this year I'm much more relaxed because I know what's expected of me. About the only time I get really tense is when the end of the semester approaches.
Still, even last year, my friends told me they were amazed at how I was able to keep up with my schoolwork and still have a very active social life.
Hmmm...I'm actually a little amazed at that myself.
But my social life is even more active this year. =)
24 Mar 2001
School supplies
I think every doctoral student should be issued a 21-year old community college student. Not just because they can be awfully cute, not just because they can remind us of things outside our field of study, but because sometimes, they will say something that makes everything fall into place.
Friday I was at the coffee house and was talking with Kenneth about this Org Theory paper that I'm trying to put together in a short time. I needed to get working on an outline; the paper is going to compare two military services (the Army and Air Force) and examine how well each one is organized to learn from the past and innovate for the future. I thought I'd bounce some ideas off Kenneth because, as he said, he knows nothing about Org Theory and nothing about the military, so I figured if I could explain the ideas to him, then I must be making them pretty clear.
It took a couple tries, but I was finally clear enough and he got what I was talking about. We debated a couple points, which made me reassess them and will certainly make for a better paper. Then he said something that floored me:
"Y'know, the best incentive for learning from the past and trying something new is getting your ass kicked."
Well, duh.
But that little point hadn't occurred to me before. And it's critical. Not just for this paper, but for my dissertation.
Cuz ya see, the Army has gotten it's ass kicked (in Vietnam especially) whereas the Air Force really hasn't. It's still riding on the success of the Gulf War and the war in Kosovo (which wasn't as successful as has been claimed, but that's another book for another time). So it's no wonder that the Army is better organized for learning that the Air Force is.
The point seems simple. Of course, everything is simple in hindsight. The trick is to have the foresight to see the simple things that are hidden amongst all the other simple things.
Why am I bothering to write this up here? Well, one, because it's MY journal and when I have these insights I want to get them written down so I can flesh them out later. Two, if anyone is actually reading this besides me, they might as well see how much school consumes my time and my thoughts (most of my friends see me going out, going for coffee, going to movies, but never really get a good feel for the work that my school requires) because that's a major part of me right now.
And three, I want everyone to know how cool Kenneth is.
I'll probably write another entry later today. It beats working. So be sure to check back.
24 Mar 2001
These friends of mine
(This is my second entry for Saturday; be sure to check the previous one if you haven't already.)
I think I've been very lucky when it comes to the people who are close to me. I tend not to have the insecure, the unfriendly, the tactless types hanging out with me. And that's a good thing.
Friday night River and his roommate had Adrian and I over for dinner. I think it says a lot for both River and Adrian that there didn't seem to be any awkwardness at all. River and I ended our romantic relationship on good terms and have continued to build our friendship. He is very comfortable with me going out with Adrian, and Adrian seemed to have a very good time last night. He is hoping to return the favor sometime. See what I mean about surrounding myself with cool people?
This was the first time I had met Peter, River's roommate; what a GREAT guy! Very funny, very smart, a great conversationalist...plus, he and I are about the same age, so we remembered the same TV shows. =) The food was wonderful; I haven't had a meal that good in some time. We were there about 6 hours, finally leaving around 3:30 so Adrian could get some sleep before his class this morning.
My other friends seem to click, too. Just this morning I was telling Tracy how I thought he'd be a good mentor for Steve, who is studying computers and trying to decide what to do in the IT field. Not 30 minutes later, as I met Steve for lunch, he said he was having a problem with a Cold Fusion project and wondered if Tracy might help him. Great minds really DO think alike.
And Tom came over tonight. That's the first time I've seen him in about two months. And that's roughly 59 days too long.
Muchos thankos to those who sent random birthday greetings to Mirza in Singapore. I got an e-mail from him which said
You and your posse has made this the best birthday ever.
So thanks to those of you who sent him an e-mail or e-card.
And hey, if you want to make yet another friend's birthday great...Kevin in Omaha is celebrating his birthday on Sunday the 25th. How about sending him a greeting, too, at kdeckard@home.com. You'll be glad you did. And so will he. 'Cuz nothing says "Happy Birthday" better than the best wishes of a bunch of total strangers.
25 Mar 2001
I'm a tired puppy today
It occurs to me that I haven't gotten a good night's sleep since Wednesday. I've been up really late the last few nights and haven't caught up on my sleep. Saturday night I was pretty optimistic; I went to bed around 1, assuming I'd get up around 8 and do some work before meeting some friends for brunch.
Yeah, right.
I hit the damn snooze button for nearly two hours. Instead of being smart, realizing there was no way I was getting out of bed, and then resetting the alarm for an hour or so later, I hit the snooze every 9 minutes. Naturally, that doesn't really count as good sleep. So I'm still tired.
But I made it to brunch on time and met up with my friend and his new dating interest. I don't know why, but brunch felt like a high-class episode of Queer As Folk, so I dressed appropriately. Brunch was fun, it was with a good friend whom I see almost every week, but usually not one-on-one, so we had lots of catching up to do. We headed over to the mall after dropping off his cute (but perhaps not quite his type) young man.
The rest of the day has been a mix of schoolwork and dealing with Chad's artwork down at the coffee house (I still haven't gotten in there at a time when it wasn't full of customers, who keep getting in the way; I'm headed back soon though, so hopefully the third time will be a charm). I've also been listening to Thai music while working. Adrian made me two CDs with about 25 hours worth of MP3s, with everything from club mixes to the My Fair Lady soundtrack, to current Thai hits. So cool.
Adrian's coming over after work and we're going to an Academy Awards party tonight. Wow, I haven't been to an Oscars party in 8 or 9 years. It makes me feel so...gay.
REMINDER: Today is Kevin's birthday, so everyone should send him a birthday greeting.
26 Mar 2001
Ying Ruk Tur
What does "ying rak tur" mean? I've been listening to Thai music all night and I really like this song, but I have no idea what he's saying.
Adrian and I had a "cute moment" this morning. I had taken him into work and then I went to run an errand down the street. Afterwards I was walking by McDonald's and realized Adrian hadn't eaten anything and wouldn't have time for a while, so I called and asked if he wanted anything before I came home. He asked me to pick him up a breakfast bagel so I ran in to get it and then walked down to the salon to drop it off. There was something that seemed extremely cute about picking up breakfast for my sweetie and having him smile and give me a little kiss. I don't know why, it just seemed sweet.
I don't need private dinners for two atop the Eiffel Tower or rose petals strewn upon the bed. I just need moments like that. =)
And if that seems icky and mushy...tough.
28 Mar 2001
Do I even have anything to write about?
The last couple days have been slow. Slow, slow, slow. Basically, I've been doing schoolwork, finishing up a load of reading for the week and trying (without much success) to finish a stupid paper for Thursday. You'd think I could write an 8-page paper in a week, but I'm still not done with it. Oh, well, I'll finish up the Intro on Thursday morning, there's not much more left than that. Then it's out to campus for a few hours in the library before my classes. Mank!
I think I'm just getting a touch of burnout this week. But now is not the time. I've still got plenty to do, including a paper for a professional journal which is due by Monday. And Mom's visiting this weekend.
But none of this is really that fascinating, even to me, so why bother writing about it in my journal when even I don't want to read about it?
One nice thing these last couple days has been Adrian. He came over Tuesday night about 11:30, and we hung out for about half an hour before going to bed. He brought Thai karaoke videos. It's nice to wake up with him. And then he called me when he got off for lunch today and invited me over to Cafe Asia. Good call, I haven't had sushi in a while. Seeing him and talking on the phone with him has provided some nice breaks.
Oh, and here's an odd thing: I wrote in my last entry about listening to Thai music and having no idea what the lyrics meant. This morning I had an e-mail from a guy in Australia who saw my entry and who has a Thai boyfriend. He translated the title of the song I was talking about. Ya gotta love the Web.
Because of my class tonight I had to miss Andy's birthday dinner. Alas. I'll make it up to him. I came home from class and worked on the paper for a bit, then River came over for South Park (a whole hour tonight, hurrah!) then a little more work on the paper, talking to Tracy and Adrian, and now this journal which is really, really boring tonight.
But I figured I should update it so no one would think I was dead.
OK, that's my cue to go to sleep.
29 Mar 2001
Conflicting Conflicts
Somebody at school is doing the same paper as me.
I'm working on a paper for my ethics class that analyzes one aspect of the war in Kosovo two years ago. In the library today I was looking for some books on a couple different subjects that I need to review. About 2/3 of them were checked out, most of them due back on the same date. Hmmmm. Somebody else must be doing the same paper, and has collected the same sources. There were, however, a couple of books that came in just in the last week, so I snatched them up. If s/he wants them, they have to come find me first.
I'm tempted to flirt with the boy at the library and see if he'll tell me who it is. Maybe we could compare notes.
Speaking of papers, I managed to finish the one that was due today. It seemed pretty good, but after looking at it for 2 weeks, it's tough to be objective anymore.
I also got with my Org Theory professor to discuss the outline for my paper that's due there in 2 weeks (the one I was essentially assigned last week). Once again, I've taken on too much; she had me scale it WAY back. The nice thing is, I am hoping to have her on my dissertation committee, where she is more than welcome to get me to scale THAT back, too!
I love professors who say "Don't do too much work."
BY THE WAY: Friday the 30th is my friend Andy's birthday. I probably shouldn't tell you he'll be 35. Oops. Anyway, if everyone who read this were to send him an e-mail and wish him a happy day, that would be a lot of fun. Nothing says "we care" better than a mailbox full of birthday wishes from total strangers around the world.
30 Mar 2001
Let's see, this goes here...
I spent a bit of time tidying up today. Mom is arriving for a visit Saturday and I need to get the place presentable. Saturday morning I'll de-fag. Perhaps I'll have Andy stop by and look it over to make sure I didn't miss anything. Yes, it's true: I'm not out to my parents. I mean, c'mon, they HAVE to know, I'm 35 and not married and have expressed NO interest in a woman in years. Granted, people tend to see what they want to see, but I have a feeling it should be fairly obvious by now which team I'm batting for.
Got a bit of work done today as well. I need to stay focused on getting this big paper done in the next 2 weeks. I think I can, I just have a couple other things to get done as well. Like the 15 page paper for publication that's due by Monday. Ahhhh, no problem.
Had dinner tonight with River, a good friend of his from work, and her boyfriend. Straight people, they can be so much fun. His co-worker is also a UVA grad, same department as me, so we swapped a few stories. Very nice folks, it was nice to finally meet them after hearing about them for months. Adrian joined us later for dessert; he worked 11 hours today, so I think he was a little tired. I know I definitely was. Despite being the oldest person there by 9 years, however, I was NOT the one who said "well, it's time to call it a night."
But damn, I was glad when someone else did.
31 Mar 2001
MomQuest '01 -- Day 1
This year's first MomQuest begins today. My mom should be arriving any time now. The bed's been made, the porn's been hidden, the rainbow candles put away...
Oops, wait a sec, be right back.
I forgot...I left the inflatable Johan Paulik doll sitting out. What was I thinking?
We're off to the Kennedy Center tonight. I've been there a couple times, but never in the big Concert Hall. We're going to see the National Symphony. This should be good.
I'm taking her to brunch Sunday, then will probably go with her to some of the art museums. Hanging out with Mom means I will have to work my ass off Monday and Tuesday (when she's at my brother's), as I have stuff that absolutely has to get done this week.
But if you can't take time to hang out with your mom, then you're a real bastard.
Running, running, running
This week has been VERY fast-paced. I've gone from "lazy Bill" to "crazy Bill" in a matter of a day or two. However, I managed to get (almost) everything done before classes tonight. And I managed to stop off and see Nick at school before going to class, so that makes it a good day by anybody's definition.
We had some goomba come talk to my Ethics class tonight. One of his handouts discussed "The Liberal Dilemma" but he explained that he didn't mean "liberal" in a perjorative sense. EXCUSE me???? Since when is "liberal," as a political term, a bad thing to call someone? Since when is it offensive? That was one of the first things he said, and it really turned me off to the rest of his presentation. I realize people have biases, hell I do to, but DON'T piss off members of your audience right off the bat. And just because you're conservative doesn't have to mean you're a dick. Where did they find this guy?
One thing I realized in my Wednesday night class: if I ever feel like I'm not "getting it" in this program, like I'm not advancing along with my peers, all I have to do is look at the master's degree students in my classes. I'm not putting them down or anything, because I was once in their shoes, doing and saying the same things as them. And it's obvious I'm come far since those days. Of course, those days were about 8 years ago.
There are few things more difficult for me than to sit and watch someone give a presentation when they have no clue how to be an effective public speaker. I realize that I was lucky in preparing myself: I was on the debate team in high school, and took undergrad and master's courses that gave me lots of practice speaking. Of course, 4 years of teaching helped, too. But it was painful Wednesday night to watch some of the paper proposals that people were giving. I couldn't even look at some of them 'cuz I just felt so bad for them. It was obvious that a few of them were absolutely terrified. Poor saps. Don't they know it's just going to get worse if they don't start practicing? Anyone who's reading this thinking Gee, I'm not comfortable speaking in public either should seriously consider getting comfortable with it. An inability to get up in front of people and give a presentation is going to seriously limit you later on. Unless you're planning a career as an accountant. Because nobody wants to talk to accountants anyway.
My friend Douglas wrote that he doesn't really like the new photo on the title page of my website. Any other thoughts out there?
I am a tired, tired puppy dog tonight. I'm going to do some packing and take care of a couple things here, then go to bed. Friday I have to finish packing, finish up some details here, have lunch with Adrian, then go to the airport. I hope I have time to go to the gym. I had McDonalds tonight. Bad Bill...needs a spanking.
2 Mar 2001
Here we go
The bags are packed.
The bills are paid.
The dishes are washed.
The coffee pot is unplugged (I think).
That's it...it's time to go to London!!
3 Mar 2001
London, 3 Mar, 2:12pm
OK, Diary-x puts the diary time in Eastern Time, so my titles will be in British time. Just because.
Anyway, I made it here to London this morning. The pilot said it was snowing for 3 hours before we landed but it's a clear, beautiful day here now. OK, it's colder than I normally like it, and the breeze blowing up my pants leg caused certain body parts to get a lot smaller, but otherwise it's fine. Since I couldn't check into my hotel right away I took the Tube to check out a big outdoor market and then went to SoHo to look around a bit. There are a couple shows in the West End I'd like to see while I'm here, so that may work out. All in all, look like a good start to the trip.
I have to say, though, that a few folks on the flight gave new meaning to the term "ugly American." I almost felt like I should apologize to the British immigration guy for being on the same plane with them. =) And there was ONE cute guy flight attendant on my plane, and naturally, he was working the other side of the cabin. sigh.
That's all for now. More to follow as soon as something happens. And now, I can go check into my hotel. And I will. 'cuz I am one tired puppy dog.
4 Mar 2001
London, 4 Mar, 10:30pm
I think I'm finally beating the jet lag. I fought a losing battle with the snooze button this morning, but finally beat it around 11:30. It's still a little chilly here but I managed to get out and see Shakespeare's Globe Theater, among other things, and have dinner tonight in a cool little place in Chinatown.
And if anyone heard about a car-bomb-threat at Victoria Station this afternoon, don't worry about me, I had evacuated the station and was at least 100 yards away when I heard something blow up. I guess the cops blew up what they thought was a bomb; I haven't heard yet if it was or not.
Saturday night I hit a club called Heaven, which is huge, bigger than anything in DC. Last year I went there on my first night and had fun, but was pretty much on my own for the whole night. This year, though, was a different story. I met a really nice guy about 15 minutes after getting in there, and we ended up hanging out all night. He introduced me to his friends and we went between the three different bars there, with great music in all three. He was very cool, 30, extremely friendly, and just finished his PhD last week. It's nice to see that people DO finish their doctorates; it gives me hope!!! He went to school in Liverpool, though his friends are from here, and they included a doctor, a master's student, and other such folk.
Question: why don't people like ths go out in DC? I mean, there are some very fun people who go to the clubs, but why is it that so many people in that city don't seem to like to go out, almost as if they're too good to go to clubs or they'd rather just stay home watching TV? It's not just an American thing; Atlanta and New York clubs are full of older people with advanced degrees or who are in the professions, or otherwise full of ambition. Why is DC so different?
More of my anthropological ramblings as they occur to me...
7 Mar 2001
Paris, 7 March, 9:30pm
Yes, that's right...Paris.
There's been a minor change in plans.
At the last minute (well, technically, at the 45th-to-last minute) I decided to spend Tuesday through Thursday in Paris instead of Glasgow, Scotland.
Why?
Could it be the fact that London is currently under IRA Alert?
No, though there was a bombing outside the BBC building about 12:30am Sunday. The pix in the paper were very impressive. I was at Victoria Station Sunday afternoon when there was a bomb scare there. The explosion I heard turned out not to be a bomb; it was the police robot firing a round into a van to open it up and take a look at the suspected bomb inside. Man, talk about your bad penalties for parking in a No Parking zone. These folks do take counterterrorism seriously, and for very good reason, as demonstrated the other night. Now I know why the Tube is so dirty; they took out all the trash cans because the IRA used to put bombs in them.
Could it be because blokes kept trying to put their hands down my knickers while dancing?
No, but it COULD be because I know I've been in the UK long enough when I start using words like "blokes" and "knickers." It was weird; Monday night I met 2 guys at the Pink Pounder (it's gay, it costs a pound; get it?) who tried to grope me. One had the hots for me, and his friend said they were looking for someone he could shag. I let him know that someone wasn't going to be me, but that didn't stop him from trying to cop a feel, just so he "had something to remember the night by." Whatever; get away. Then another guy, pretty cute, with whom I'd been dancing for all of two minutes tries to put his hand down my pants and asks, "should we go back to your place?" Um, no.
I came to Paris because 4 people suggested it this week, and I am grateful to them. Today I saw many of the cool tourist things you're supposed to see, and Thursday I'm going to the Louvre before going back to London in the evening. French boys are kinda cute, but not too friendly. And I had trouble last night finding a dance club (though the fact that it was a Tuesday might've had something to do with that).
So this has been an adventure. I was literally on my way to the Glasgow train when I decided to pop into a student travel centre and see what a ticket on Eurostar would cost. It was incredibly cheap for a student. So I booked a seat and had 45 minutes to get online, cancel my Glasgow hotel, get to Waterloo Station, fix up my new student ID, and get on the train. I bought a Paris guidebook as I was running for the train. Once here I figured out the Metro, got some cash, and found a hotel (in the gay district, no less). And it's been cool ever since.
Remember: it's adventures that keep you young.
8 Mar 2001
London, 8 March, 9:51pm
OK, so, I'm back in London. And naturally, I returned to Waterloo Station just in time for another IRA bomb scare. Those guys are getting annoying.
Paris was very cool. I'm not sure about the Parisians themselves, but Paris was definitely fun to visit. I'm so glad I decided to jump on that train! On Wednesday I visited the Eiffel Tower (with an INCREDIBLE view of the city!), the Arc de Triomphe, and Notre Dame Cathedral. Thursday, River and his roommate were in town (got in from Amsterdam Wednesday night) so River and I went to the Louvre and had lunch before I had to catch the Eurostar back to London at 4pm. I was glad when the trip was over; I was sitting next to a really bad episode of "Sex in the City: The College Years," three American female-type students who would not shut up with their inane chatter about nothing. The bomb threat was a welcome relief.
I didn't really go clubbing in Paris. Tuesday night I visited some bars near my hotel, but they were "stand and model" bars, and I wasn't too into any of the models there. Wednesday night River and I were playing phone tag, and I was beat anyway, so I didn't feel like heading out to the club on the Champs Elysee, especially since I knew I'd be going out Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights in London. Believe me, that'll be enough.
And to be honest, it would help to speak the language if I'm going to a club by myself. One more reason I really like London. In fact, pulling into the station today felt like coming home. For the first time ever, I really feel i could live in London. I really, really like this place.
That's all for now. Gotta go get ready to go out. Cheers!
9 Mar 2001
London, 9 March, 9:59pm
Just a quick entry before going down to SoHo. I'm not going dancing tonight; though "Camp Attack" at G-A-Y was a very fun party when I went last year, I was dancing until 4am today, and I had to get up before 8 to go get a ticket for a show tonight. And Saturday, I'm getting up kinda early to catch a train and go visit the town of Bristol, before returning to the States on Sunday. So, I could use some beauty sleep tonight, and thus will merely be strolling around the crowds.
But I did manage to accomplish something I couldn't do last year: I got to see Mamma Mia. This is a musical that incorporates the music of ABBA. Yes, ABBA. There are 22 ABBA songs in it, and the story was written around them. It was pretty fun; the acting was a bit over the top, but then again, so was ABBA. And it was fun to see how they wrote the transitions from dialogue into song. It's a romantic comedy, somewhat topsy-turvy as Gilbert and Sullivan might say. The acting was not the absolute greatest, some of the dialogue was a bit stilted, but it was a fun night. When I was here last year I stood in line 4 nights trying to get a ticket, to no avail; it was the top show in London. But it's dropped to number 2, and by sneaking over to the box office as soon as they opened today, I was able to snag a 7th-row seat that someone had cancelled. Yay for 7th-row seats!
The show is currently touring in America, and the plan was to go see it for Tracy's birthday when it hit DC in July. But it's already been delayed in DC because it's being extended on the west coast. I might graduate and move before it comes to Washington, so I thought I should see it now.
OK, maybe it helps to be a child of the 70s in order to fully appreciate this show. But even if you weren't sentient in the 70s (and frankly, not too many people were) you'd probably have a good time.
OK, that's it...time to go see what kind of trouble I can stay out of. :P
(Oh, and I missed another bomb scare by 5 minutes today. I've been studying terrorism for a few years now, but it's interesting to see the effects up close and personal.)
10 Mar 2001
London, 10 March, 9:40pm
I just had a VERY interesting day.
This morning I caught a train to Bristol, which is a university town a couple hours west of here. In Bristol, I met up with a fellow named Fabian. Fabulous Fabian and I have been reading each other's journals and corresponding over the last few months, and today we overcame a few thousand miles difference and met face to face.
Fabes is a wonderful guy, as I knew he would be from reading his thoughts since last year. (hmmm, that makes me sound like a psychic...well, maybe I am...I mean, how would YOU know?) We spent the afternoon hanging out and talking. He showed me his school, his neighborhood, and some of his favorite haunts, which is great since now I can picture these places when he talks about them (literally picture them in some cases, as I made sure to snap a photo of one particularly important spot). He also took me to a shop where I could buy some of the fabulous flares he was wearing, so that once again I will be on the cutting edge of fashion in America (meaning I'll be wearing these NOW,and I'll probably stop about the same time they hit the US).
What a great day. I was in town about seven hours and we spent the whole time talking, getting to know each other better than we could off of a computer screen. I was pleased that he was willing to meet me; after all, not everyone would meet up with someone from overseas that they've only known online.
However, this should serve as a warning to other folks: I don't get to know people well and open up to them through the Net unless I expect to meet them for real some day. So whether you live in Texas or Quebec, Singapore or British Columbia, or some other spot in between, if you and I have been getting to know each other well, chances are I'll be in your neighborhood some day and would enjoy the chance to sit down over a cup of coffee and chat.
So, today was wonderful. Fabulous Fabian was all I thought he'd be and more. (and yes, Fabes, you're a cutie...there, I know you were looking for that [grin]). Seriously, it's so nice to know the 3-dimensional person behind the 2-dimensional screen. It just goes to show that the Net isn't an end unto itself; it's merely a tool that really can bring people together in ways they never would have before. Just ask Mirza and Peter about that...ahh, but that's a story for another time...
Heading back to the States on Sunday. Looking forward to seeing Adrian; I've missed that guy! Oh, yeah, and Andy, Tracy, Michael, Steve, Kenneth, River (who I don't miss TOO much, since I saw him in Paris!) and everyone else; boy, wouldn't it be a fun trip if we could ALL come over here sometime?
But do you think the UK could really handle that?
11 Mar 2001
London, 11 March, 12:01pm
Headed home.
Last night was odd, but fun. Went to G-A-Y to see a group called Hear'say, which is a "Making the Band" kind of thing: a singing group forming on the TV series "Popstars." Last night was their first public performance, and it was at a gay club; cool, eh? (and being filmed for the show, I should add)
But I didn't get to see them; the queue was too long and the club filled before I got in. We had to wait for the show to end to get in and dance. I probably would've given up but I met three great guys: Chris, Undi (I know I'm spelling that wrong, but you get the idea) and Phill. Chris was the only gay one in the group and it was nice to go dancing without having the pressure of some guy coming onto me strong. Actually, I had a girl proposition me; imagine that. I was really impressed by Phill, he had a guy hit on him and try to kiss him, but Phill handled it very well and without hurting the guy's feelings. Nice; most straight guys I know aren't so polite.
So, I got home at 5, went straight to bed, and now am off to the airport. What a great trip this has been. Precisely what I needed. It'll be interesting to go back and review the journal entries of the last week.
OK, this is Bill signing off from London. Cheers!!!
12 Mar 2001
Tired puppy
Made it back okay. And the jet lag is hitting hard.
Adrian picked me up at the airport last night (what a sweetie) and stayed over. It was definitely nice to cuddle up!
I went downtown to have lunch with Tracy and went by the salon to see Adrian at work. I ended up staying until they closed, and even helped out a bit when they got really busy (don't worry, I was just answering the phone, not cutting hair!!). He then dropped me off on the way home.
Tonight I made a couple calls to get caught up with folks but I am so tired I think I need to get to bed, to try to get my body back on schedule. And so, this will be a short entry. Nighty nite!
13 Mar 2001
Jet lag blows
I really need for my body clock to get back on track. I start feeling a little weird around midday, like I can't concentrate, then I'm really, really tired by 9, and feeling quite strange by 10.
Not that this is much different from my normal day.
But at least today I managed to get a bunch of schoolwork done. Most importantly, I finished up a United Nations training course that we have to do for one of my classes. Well, perhaps even more importantly than that, I did laundry today.
I suppose, if I run out of clothes, I could do like Adrian does -- Monday he wore one of my shirts to work. Of course, he had to go into the "small" end of the closet. But damn, he looked good.
Tonight I went and saw Kenneth at the coffee shop and ended up there for 2 hours, not getting any reading done but just generally having a good time. Kenneth got cast for a part in an upcoming play! That's 2 so far this year, and it's only March!! While he was working I spent some time talking with a couple friends of his. Every now and then you need to sit down and have coffee with a couple high school seniors just to get their take on the world.
Adrian called as I was getting home. He had bought me a present and was on his way over with it. He and his brother showed up and we went out for dessert. He had gotten me a teddy bear at a store where you make them yourself ("Build-A-Bear," I believe it's called). The bear's name is Adrian (though he's a little darker than the REAL Adrian), he's wearing a University of Virginia t-shirt (both Adrian and I went there) and he's got a cute little trick bag on his back with tiny books about wine and chocolate. How cute is that???? Anyway, I know who I'm cuddling up with tonight!
Speaking of which, it is bedtime for me. Laterz!
14 Mar 2001
yawn
OK, first of all: my e-mail is down. Verizon has been having serious problems for a couple days, perhaps because they are incompetent buffoons. Or perhaps for other reasons. And I can't get my web host to stop forwarding mail to my Verizon account. Perhaps because my host is run by buffoons as well. Who knows?
Anyone who has sent me e-mail in the last couple of days, please note that I haven't received any of it, so please resend to my backup account. I'm sure there are at least 30 or 40 of you who have sent me mail.
Well, maybe 1 or 2.
This morning I got an e-mail from someone in one of my Thursday classes. He just wanted to get my feedback on his notes for tomorrow's class, since we're supposed to come in prepared to discuss a case we reviewed in class two weeks ago.
Uh oh.
I totally forgot about it. So I think I will be spending Thursday morning reviewing my notes on the case and coming up with something witty and urbane to say about it. Maybe I could just use words like "witty" and "urbane."
Of course, on Thursday afternoon I will be watching the Virginia Cavaliers in the first round of the NCAA basketball tournament. They are playing against Gonzaga University. I once met a guy who went to law school at Gonzaga. It turned out that he used a lot of drugs. Maybe everyone at Gonzaga uses a lot of drugs. And then their basketball team would suck. And we would win.
Hey, you can always hope.
17 Mar 2001
A little catching up to do
The last couple of days have been a mix of frenzied bursts of activity and mind-numbing exhaustion. Let's see if we can make sense of it all, eh? (I threw in that "eh?" for the benefit of my Canadian friends.)
(warning: I just finished this entry, and it's a LONG one, so I came back to the top to let you know you should probably go to the bathroom now, 'cuz there are no breaks later)
First of all:
I THINK my website e-mail is working again. Between problems at Verizon and some technical difficulties with my web host, I've pretty much been without it since Tuesday. Unfortunately, anyone sending me e-mail has gotten an "Undeliverable Message" response, so not only do friends think I hate them, and potential new friends think I don't want to talk to them, but I've probably missed out on some cool thoughts. So, if anyone DID e-mail me this week but didn't get through, PLEASE resend your message. And if folks could send me a note through the link below, just so I can tell if my mail is working or not, that would be great.
Well, what have I learned in the last couple days? First, I learned that, despite:
* 13 years of elementary and secondary education
* 4 years of undergraduate education
* 2 years spent on a master's degree
* 1 1/2 years (so far) on my PhD
I still can't read. The UVA basketball game that I was so excited about watching on Thursday was actually on Friday. I had planned my day, my homework, my time-to-drive-to-school around Virginia's first-round play in the NCAA Tournament on Thursday. Too bad it was the next day. Alas, they lost anyway, by one point at the last second. Of course, if you think about it, one team or the other loses EVERY game at the last second.
The team was playing like a bunch of nuns with leprosy, compared to other games they've played this season. Oh, well, at least they had a good year, being ranked in the Top 15 most of the season. Our women's team plays later today, and hopefully they will have better luck, though this has not been a good year for our normally-top-of-the-rankings women's basketball team.
So I finished up all my schoolwork Thursday and headed out to campus. My Ethics class got a little heated, as it probably should have been all semester; I mean, who can agree on Ethics? We were reading chapters from our professor's upcoming book on Congressional ethics (yeah, I know, "contradiction in terms," trust me I've heard it all). Then I headed to my Org Theory class, where my professor grabbed the other doctoral student and I and said "if you want to do something different for the final project, like doing a research paper instead of a case study, that would be fine." That's nice of her and all, she's giving us the chance to work on something that would be helpful to our dissertations, but it's due in 5 weeks, and I'm not sure I want to start a major research paper now (that would make three this semester, and the others are pretty big). We shall see,
Thursday I got phone calls from Richmond Michael, who was coming up with a friend to go shopping. He wanted to get together that night, as we hadn't seen each other in over a month. As it turns out they finished dinner just as I got home from class, so they came over and we hung out a couple hours, then went dancing at Badlands. Of course, every home-for-Spring-Break gayboy student in DC was there for College Night so it was packed. And naturally, Michael's friend Suzanne met a guy and got felt up within 5 minutes of getting on the dance floor. I guess straight boys go to gay clubs looking for frustrated women.
Anyway, we were there until closing (at 3) then came home and sat up talking until almost 5, when they headed back to Richmond (I would've felt better if they'd stayed over, but they figured they should get back). So, Billy didn't get a lot of sleep, and I was a waste on Friday. I tried to work on one of my papers but I had writer's block in a big way. Just in case I needed a reminder as to why I don't go out on Thursday nights, that did the trick. Today I intend to make more progress.
I went to see Kenneth at the coffee house and Adrian met me there after he got off work. We all went to get a beer after Kenneth closed up, then Adrian came back and we had some quality time. We stayed up too late, though, and he had a lot of trouble getting up this morning. I'm sure he was late to class, and if you're late, they don't let you stay, they send you home. Which, in the end, will likely cost him money. Hmmmmmm. I hope it worked out okay. I don't want him to associate me with being late, and I don't want him getting behind at school.
OK, I should start working. I have lots to do before classes next week, and things always seem to pop up around the first of the week, so I need to get to work. Oh, and I'll probably be making some changes to my website. I had two good friends tell me yesterday that the photo on my home page is creepy. So I think I'll accelerate some changes I was planning on making.
18 Mar 2001
Still waiting
Saturday night was fun. Not fantabulous, but still fun. And yet...
I went to Velvet Nation and met up with Adrian, his brother, his brother's boyfriend, and two friends of theirs from his brother's store. We were there for a couple hours. Kenneth also met up with us there later. There was a good DJ, but the whole evening just felt a little off. It wasn't that crowded, but that wasn't it. I think I'm just still looking for something.
So many times I've gone to Velvet either by myself or with friends, and at some point in the evening I'll be standing on the second or third level and I'll look down upon the dance floor, and I'll see a couple. Who knows, they may have only known each other for 5 minutes, but the way they look at each other, it's like they've known one another a lifetime. They are so into each other, to the exclusion of everyone around them, and it's as if a zone has been cleared around them.
And that's what I want.
I really enjoy Velvet, most of the time, and I can get an incredible energy rush from the people and passions around me. And I want to feel that with someone else, someone special. Basically, I want to be there with my boyfriend.
In the heart of the crowd, surrounded by the thumping bass that reverbarates through our bodies, with waves of blue- and green-tinged energy emanating from all those around us, with life and heart and intensity washing over us...in the middle of this maelstrom I want to put my arms around him and pull him close and look into his eyes and see that I'm the only thing he's focused on, the only thing he sees, the only thing he feels...and I want to share the same look with him.
But it hasn't happened yet.
I've been there with each of my last two boyfriends and nothing ever clicked. One made it pretty obvious that he wasn't comfortable there, and the other was very flirtatious with others on the dance floor (which is fine, as I usually am too -- hey, I've met some great people that way, like Adrian, for instance). Last night I felt that Adrian was more interested in hanging out with his brother and his friends, and I was merely a side attraction. He just didn't look like he was having fun. It was the first time either of us had been back to Velvet since we met there on my birthday two months ago, and we definitely had a better time the night we met up (in fact, we came close to the feeling that I want to experience, though we didn't even know each other at that point so it wasn't quite the same). To be fair, the poor boy was exhausted, having worked some very long days with very little sleep recently, and frankly, I was amazed he even decided to come out. So it's not like I'm upset or anything, because I totally understand why he wasn't in a "let's go party and make Bill feel like the only person in the universe" mood, and I haven't even told him about this little psuedo-fantasy of mine yet. In all honesty, I shouldn't refer to him as my boyfriend because I'm not sure we really know where our relationship stands; neither of us has used "the b-word," as far as I know.
And so, I'm still waiting for that feeling. And it will come.
19 Mar 2001
All done
I can't believe it. I actually accomplished everything on today's "Things I Need To Get Done" list.
AND I even managed to finish something I'd planned to do Tuesday.
AND I had dinner with Adrian after he called and offered to take me out for a study break when he got off work (and he had an 11-hour day, and he was beat, and he still took me out -- how sweet!)
AND I met Terry and Nathan and Dave (electronically, anyway) who span three continents.
AND I did an update to my website, getting rid of the new picture on the first page (but I still like it, I don't care what anyone says, so it's still elsewhere on my site). Click on the link to my site and tell me what you think.
AND Tom and I made plans to do something Saturday night, which is great considering I haven't seen him since before my birthday.
AND so I am going to reward myself by going to bed at a (relatively) decent time.
G'night.
By the way...my friend Mirza in Singapore celebrates his 26th birthday on 21 March. As part of my plan to mess with his head, I thought it would be fun to have random people send him birthday greetings. So, if you want to make my day, and (hopefully) his, please send him a birthday greeting. Thanks!
21 Mar 2001
Tuesday was very different from Monday
Monday I got everything done that I intended to do. I was very efficient.
Tuesday I accomplished almost nothing I'd planned. And in the long run, it'll be better for me.
Adrian called in the early afternoon, and it turned out he was off all day for a change (between work and school, he's usually working 7 days a week). He said he wanted to go into the District, walk around the Mall, visit the National Gallery, anything but be cooped up at home doing laundry.
"Ya wanna come?," he asked.
Now, let's look at this. On the one hand, I've still got a couple hundred pages to read for Thursday's classes, I need to review a case for one of those classes, and I have some homework that has to be finished and sent to other class members by Tuesday night. On the other hand, it'll be a l-o-o-o-o-n-n-n-g time before I have a job again where I can set my own schedule, doing my work at night rather than during normal business hours, PLUS with Adrian's crazy schedule and mine, we should take the chance to get together and do stuff during the day whenever we can. So....
"Sure," I said.
And what a good day it was. We had lunch, went down to the Mall, checked out some cool exhibits at the National Gallery (Adrian took some art history courses in college, so I pumped him for information), got coffee up around Dupont Circle, did some shopping for various birthdays, got dinner, came back here and hung out. He ended up staying over, and I let him sleep in today because he really, really needed it; I just got up and went back to my work while he snoozed. We hung out here for a while, him downloading MP3s, me reading for school, then he left for work and I went to class.
What a good way to spend the first day of spring. If the Goddess had expected us to spend it indoors, she wouldn't have created an outdoors. Or something like that. And it was cool to take advantage of the city. And of my schedule.
Two weeks from now as I'm starting to get tense about my big papers, I wouldn't have remembered spending a day stuck inside with my books. But I will remember the cool day I spent with Adrian. And that will make me smile FAR more than studying ever does.
22 Mar 2001
Shifting winds
I'm glad now that I went and played on Tuesday when the opportunity suddenly presented itself. It may be a while before that happens again.
I'm getting into the period when end-of-semester stuff is coming due. I don't have any final exams this time around, but I have three big papers, the first of which is due in 3 weeks, the second of which is due the week after that, and the third is due the next week. Two of them are being presented in class, and then I'll have a couple weeks to make changes based on the other students' critiques.
All this is in addition to my regular reading and homework, of course. Plus, I have a couple of ongoing non-school-yet-related projects going on.
It's not that this is a horribly debilitating workload. But I know how I am when I'm writing, it's a stop-and-go process. And the real impact is that I won't be able to be quite as spontaneous about running off and doing stuff as I've been lately. Rather than grabbing my fun whenever I can get it, and then working later, I'll have to do my work when I can, and grab my fun later.
No biggie. But I need to let my friends know that I won't be as responsive as normal to their last-minute invites.
Of course, if they read my journal, they now know this.
It's funny how things change over a short time. Last year I was a freak. Actually, I talked to Carol the other day, who's in her first year at another school, and she sounded just like I did a year ago. (well, not JUST like me, 'cuz she stayed home and worked on a paper over Spring Break. eeeewwwwwww) I was really worried about school last year, but this year I'm much more relaxed because I know what's expected of me. About the only time I get really tense is when the end of the semester approaches.
Still, even last year, my friends told me they were amazed at how I was able to keep up with my schoolwork and still have a very active social life.
Hmmm...I'm actually a little amazed at that myself.
But my social life is even more active this year. =)
24 Mar 2001
School supplies
I think every doctoral student should be issued a 21-year old community college student. Not just because they can be awfully cute, not just because they can remind us of things outside our field of study, but because sometimes, they will say something that makes everything fall into place.
Friday I was at the coffee house and was talking with Kenneth about this Org Theory paper that I'm trying to put together in a short time. I needed to get working on an outline; the paper is going to compare two military services (the Army and Air Force) and examine how well each one is organized to learn from the past and innovate for the future. I thought I'd bounce some ideas off Kenneth because, as he said, he knows nothing about Org Theory and nothing about the military, so I figured if I could explain the ideas to him, then I must be making them pretty clear.
It took a couple tries, but I was finally clear enough and he got what I was talking about. We debated a couple points, which made me reassess them and will certainly make for a better paper. Then he said something that floored me:
"Y'know, the best incentive for learning from the past and trying something new is getting your ass kicked."
Well, duh.
But that little point hadn't occurred to me before. And it's critical. Not just for this paper, but for my dissertation.
Cuz ya see, the Army has gotten it's ass kicked (in Vietnam especially) whereas the Air Force really hasn't. It's still riding on the success of the Gulf War and the war in Kosovo (which wasn't as successful as has been claimed, but that's another book for another time). So it's no wonder that the Army is better organized for learning that the Air Force is.
The point seems simple. Of course, everything is simple in hindsight. The trick is to have the foresight to see the simple things that are hidden amongst all the other simple things.
Why am I bothering to write this up here? Well, one, because it's MY journal and when I have these insights I want to get them written down so I can flesh them out later. Two, if anyone is actually reading this besides me, they might as well see how much school consumes my time and my thoughts (most of my friends see me going out, going for coffee, going to movies, but never really get a good feel for the work that my school requires) because that's a major part of me right now.
And three, I want everyone to know how cool Kenneth is.
I'll probably write another entry later today. It beats working. So be sure to check back.
24 Mar 2001
These friends of mine
(This is my second entry for Saturday; be sure to check the previous one if you haven't already.)
I think I've been very lucky when it comes to the people who are close to me. I tend not to have the insecure, the unfriendly, the tactless types hanging out with me. And that's a good thing.
Friday night River and his roommate had Adrian and I over for dinner. I think it says a lot for both River and Adrian that there didn't seem to be any awkwardness at all. River and I ended our romantic relationship on good terms and have continued to build our friendship. He is very comfortable with me going out with Adrian, and Adrian seemed to have a very good time last night. He is hoping to return the favor sometime. See what I mean about surrounding myself with cool people?
This was the first time I had met Peter, River's roommate; what a GREAT guy! Very funny, very smart, a great conversationalist...plus, he and I are about the same age, so we remembered the same TV shows. =) The food was wonderful; I haven't had a meal that good in some time. We were there about 6 hours, finally leaving around 3:30 so Adrian could get some sleep before his class this morning.
My other friends seem to click, too. Just this morning I was telling Tracy how I thought he'd be a good mentor for Steve, who is studying computers and trying to decide what to do in the IT field. Not 30 minutes later, as I met Steve for lunch, he said he was having a problem with a Cold Fusion project and wondered if Tracy might help him. Great minds really DO think alike.
And Tom came over tonight. That's the first time I've seen him in about two months. And that's roughly 59 days too long.
Muchos thankos to those who sent random birthday greetings to Mirza in Singapore. I got an e-mail from him which said
You and your posse has made this the best birthday ever.
So thanks to those of you who sent him an e-mail or e-card.
And hey, if you want to make yet another friend's birthday great...Kevin in Omaha is celebrating his birthday on Sunday the 25th. How about sending him a greeting, too, at kdeckard@home.com. You'll be glad you did. And so will he. 'Cuz nothing says "Happy Birthday" better than the best wishes of a bunch of total strangers.
25 Mar 2001
I'm a tired puppy today
It occurs to me that I haven't gotten a good night's sleep since Wednesday. I've been up really late the last few nights and haven't caught up on my sleep. Saturday night I was pretty optimistic; I went to bed around 1, assuming I'd get up around 8 and do some work before meeting some friends for brunch.
Yeah, right.
I hit the damn snooze button for nearly two hours. Instead of being smart, realizing there was no way I was getting out of bed, and then resetting the alarm for an hour or so later, I hit the snooze every 9 minutes. Naturally, that doesn't really count as good sleep. So I'm still tired.
But I made it to brunch on time and met up with my friend and his new dating interest. I don't know why, but brunch felt like a high-class episode of Queer As Folk, so I dressed appropriately. Brunch was fun, it was with a good friend whom I see almost every week, but usually not one-on-one, so we had lots of catching up to do. We headed over to the mall after dropping off his cute (but perhaps not quite his type) young man.
The rest of the day has been a mix of schoolwork and dealing with Chad's artwork down at the coffee house (I still haven't gotten in there at a time when it wasn't full of customers, who keep getting in the way; I'm headed back soon though, so hopefully the third time will be a charm). I've also been listening to Thai music while working. Adrian made me two CDs with about 25 hours worth of MP3s, with everything from club mixes to the My Fair Lady soundtrack, to current Thai hits. So cool.
Adrian's coming over after work and we're going to an Academy Awards party tonight. Wow, I haven't been to an Oscars party in 8 or 9 years. It makes me feel so...gay.
REMINDER: Today is Kevin's birthday, so everyone should send him a birthday greeting.
26 Mar 2001
Ying Ruk Tur
What does "ying rak tur" mean? I've been listening to Thai music all night and I really like this song, but I have no idea what he's saying.
Adrian and I had a "cute moment" this morning. I had taken him into work and then I went to run an errand down the street. Afterwards I was walking by McDonald's and realized Adrian hadn't eaten anything and wouldn't have time for a while, so I called and asked if he wanted anything before I came home. He asked me to pick him up a breakfast bagel so I ran in to get it and then walked down to the salon to drop it off. There was something that seemed extremely cute about picking up breakfast for my sweetie and having him smile and give me a little kiss. I don't know why, it just seemed sweet.
I don't need private dinners for two atop the Eiffel Tower or rose petals strewn upon the bed. I just need moments like that. =)
And if that seems icky and mushy...tough.
28 Mar 2001
Do I even have anything to write about?
The last couple days have been slow. Slow, slow, slow. Basically, I've been doing schoolwork, finishing up a load of reading for the week and trying (without much success) to finish a stupid paper for Thursday. You'd think I could write an 8-page paper in a week, but I'm still not done with it. Oh, well, I'll finish up the Intro on Thursday morning, there's not much more left than that. Then it's out to campus for a few hours in the library before my classes. Mank!
I think I'm just getting a touch of burnout this week. But now is not the time. I've still got plenty to do, including a paper for a professional journal which is due by Monday. And Mom's visiting this weekend.
But none of this is really that fascinating, even to me, so why bother writing about it in my journal when even I don't want to read about it?
One nice thing these last couple days has been Adrian. He came over Tuesday night about 11:30, and we hung out for about half an hour before going to bed. He brought Thai karaoke videos. It's nice to wake up with him. And then he called me when he got off for lunch today and invited me over to Cafe Asia. Good call, I haven't had sushi in a while. Seeing him and talking on the phone with him has provided some nice breaks.
Oh, and here's an odd thing: I wrote in my last entry about listening to Thai music and having no idea what the lyrics meant. This morning I had an e-mail from a guy in Australia who saw my entry and who has a Thai boyfriend. He translated the title of the song I was talking about. Ya gotta love the Web.
Because of my class tonight I had to miss Andy's birthday dinner. Alas. I'll make it up to him. I came home from class and worked on the paper for a bit, then River came over for South Park (a whole hour tonight, hurrah!) then a little more work on the paper, talking to Tracy and Adrian, and now this journal which is really, really boring tonight.
But I figured I should update it so no one would think I was dead.
OK, that's my cue to go to sleep.
29 Mar 2001
Conflicting Conflicts
Somebody at school is doing the same paper as me.
I'm working on a paper for my ethics class that analyzes one aspect of the war in Kosovo two years ago. In the library today I was looking for some books on a couple different subjects that I need to review. About 2/3 of them were checked out, most of them due back on the same date. Hmmmm. Somebody else must be doing the same paper, and has collected the same sources. There were, however, a couple of books that came in just in the last week, so I snatched them up. If s/he wants them, they have to come find me first.
I'm tempted to flirt with the boy at the library and see if he'll tell me who it is. Maybe we could compare notes.
Speaking of papers, I managed to finish the one that was due today. It seemed pretty good, but after looking at it for 2 weeks, it's tough to be objective anymore.
I also got with my Org Theory professor to discuss the outline for my paper that's due there in 2 weeks (the one I was essentially assigned last week). Once again, I've taken on too much; she had me scale it WAY back. The nice thing is, I am hoping to have her on my dissertation committee, where she is more than welcome to get me to scale THAT back, too!
I love professors who say "Don't do too much work."
BY THE WAY: Friday the 30th is my friend Andy's birthday. I probably shouldn't tell you he'll be 35. Oops. Anyway, if everyone who read this were to send him an e-mail and wish him a happy day, that would be a lot of fun. Nothing says "we care" better than a mailbox full of birthday wishes from total strangers around the world.
30 Mar 2001
Let's see, this goes here...
I spent a bit of time tidying up today. Mom is arriving for a visit Saturday and I need to get the place presentable. Saturday morning I'll de-fag. Perhaps I'll have Andy stop by and look it over to make sure I didn't miss anything. Yes, it's true: I'm not out to my parents. I mean, c'mon, they HAVE to know, I'm 35 and not married and have expressed NO interest in a woman in years. Granted, people tend to see what they want to see, but I have a feeling it should be fairly obvious by now which team I'm batting for.
Got a bit of work done today as well. I need to stay focused on getting this big paper done in the next 2 weeks. I think I can, I just have a couple other things to get done as well. Like the 15 page paper for publication that's due by Monday. Ahhhh, no problem.
Had dinner tonight with River, a good friend of his from work, and her boyfriend. Straight people, they can be so much fun. His co-worker is also a UVA grad, same department as me, so we swapped a few stories. Very nice folks, it was nice to finally meet them after hearing about them for months. Adrian joined us later for dessert; he worked 11 hours today, so I think he was a little tired. I know I definitely was. Despite being the oldest person there by 9 years, however, I was NOT the one who said "well, it's time to call it a night."
But damn, I was glad when someone else did.
31 Mar 2001
MomQuest '01 -- Day 1
This year's first MomQuest begins today. My mom should be arriving any time now. The bed's been made, the porn's been hidden, the rainbow candles put away...
Oops, wait a sec, be right back.
I forgot...I left the inflatable Johan Paulik doll sitting out. What was I thinking?
We're off to the Kennedy Center tonight. I've been there a couple times, but never in the big Concert Hall. We're going to see the National Symphony. This should be good.
I'm taking her to brunch Sunday, then will probably go with her to some of the art museums. Hanging out with Mom means I will have to work my ass off Monday and Tuesday (when she's at my brother's), as I have stuff that absolutely has to get done this week.
But if you can't take time to hang out with your mom, then you're a real bastard.
Thursday, March 01, 2001
February 2001
1 Feb 2001
Going down. And not in the good way.
I'm not sure what it is. Things seemed to be going just fine today, pretty much normal. I had a lot of reading to do for class tonight, but I managed to get it done, and even snuck in a meeting with my advisor that went really well.
But at some point tonight I just started feeling down. The drive home from school was no fun at all.
I was feeling kind of disappointed in some of my classes this semester, and I haven't been too pleased with my own performance to date. But I'm not sure if that's the problem, or if I'm just feeling that way because I'm down for other reasons.
My gym schedule has been totally messed up, and I haven't even done cardio since Tuesday, or weights since last week. Could that be it? Is it a physical thing? Or am I just upset with myself for not scheduling the time to go to the gym, perhaps demonstrating that I don't have the self-discipline that I thought I had?
Perhaps it's cyclical, and a couple of my biorythms are just bottoming out right now.
Maybe it's because Friday is Imbolc, the Wiccan sabbat that comes midway between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox, a time that is thought of in terms of "light without heat," a period in which we are buried by the cold (and let's face it, I'm not a big "winter" person).
Or is it possible that that's all bullshit and I'm just tired and need to go to bed? Actually, that's probably it, so I think I'll get some sleep and tackle things anew tomorrow.
I hate Thursdays. My longest day of the week.
(Actually, it's probably because I haven't heard from Mirza in 2 days. He's my 'Net friend in Singapore, but he just got home after a couple weeks away on business, and he and his lover have some catching up to do. But I'm so used to having an e-mail from him each morning, and now my routine is all messed up!)
2 Feb 2001
MUCH better!
OK, I don't what was up with me Thursday night, but Friday made me feel a LOT better. About 11am I got a call from Richmond Michael, who was up in DC for the day. He was headed to NYC tonight with a friend, but had nothing to do until then, and was hoping to drop by. Considering we hadn't seen each other since before Christmas, that sounded like a great idea!!
Mikey got here a little before noon, and we hung out and talked for about an hour before heading down to a good little Thai place for lunch (he had never had Thai food before). He stayed until about 3:30, when he had to go meet his friend. Mikey is in school (Cisco Networking school) and is still working retail while doing some consulting work for an information technology firm in New York. Not bad for an 18-year old!!! Oh, and by the way: he's featured in an article in the current issue of Joey magazine. Be sure to check it out!
So that was just what the doctor ordered for me: a surprise visit from a wonderful friend whom I hadn't seen in weeks.
Then, an hour after he left, Andy stopped by. And then tonight, River and I tried to go to a movie that was sold out, so ended up going out for coffee for a couple hours. I guess the universe heard that I was feeling a little down, so it sent some of my really good friends to make me feel better. And they did!!
Now, if I can just keep from getting sick (my throat is a little sore) I'll be okay.
I looked over the rest of the semester's assignments today. I think I can handle the big assignments with no problem: I've got a good idea for each of my three big papers, and all of them will relate to my dissertation. It's the weekly reading that's tripping me up. Each week it takes a lot longer than I expect. And there's a lot of "recommended" reading I haven't even touched yet.
But I talked to my advisor yesterday, and she thinks I'm in good shape. So I refuse to worry about it.
Of course, the best thing is that my local NPR station is about to end their winter pledge drive. Finally! I recently set my clock radio to NPR so I wake up to the news in the morning. The problem is, I drift off again when the local announcers come on, so there have been pledge drives in my dreams. And that just can't be good.
3 Feb 2001
Lazy Saturday
Sleeping late
Good coffee
Bitter cold
New shoes
Reading for school
E-mails from Fabian and Scooter
An e-card from Mirza
Surfing the Web for spring break info
Going to see Kenneth's play again
Virginia playing Wake Forest tonight
Not a bad way to spend the day
5 Feb 2001
Leaving on a jet plane...
The last few days have been all about travel. I haven't actually done any of it yet, mind you, but the plans have been made.
Last week I got approval from school to use some leftover funding to attend a conference in Chicago later this month. I'll be there for 5 days; I think it'll be more than a little fun. NOT ONLY will the conference be really interesting, and NOT ONLY will one of my really good friends (and future boss, and co-editor on our forthcoming book) be there, BUT ALSO I have never been to Chicago, so I am looking forward to checking out a new place.
Speaking of new places...I haven't been to L.A. since before I came out. I'll bet it's changed a bit since then; I know I certainly have. Anyway, River is going home for a visit this spring and wanted to show me around L.A., so...we're going for a week over Memorial Day. Yay!!! I'm going to see a side of L.A. that I never got to see before. And it will see a side of me as well.
And I'll get to see my friend Peter. He doesn't even know about this yet. Unless he's reading my journal. Then I'll bet he knows. 'cuz I just gave it away.
I have to say this: I am really happy that River and I have remained such good friends after breaking off our relationship last month. The thing I was most afraid of, when I felt we just weren't right for each other romantically, was that he and I would go our seperate ways. That hasn't happened; if anything, we're becoming better friends.
But that's not all the travel yet...
...'cuz in March, I'm going back to ENGLAND AND SCOTLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just made all my plans today. My favorite B&B has room for me, and I was able to get a decent airfare, so I'm heading back to Britain this year. Last year I experienced London and Edinburgh; this year, I'm going to take day trips out of London (most likely to Stonehenge/Bath, Stratford-on-Avon, and Bristol) and visit Glasgow, Scotland, for a couple days. I can't wait!!!! I had such a good time over there last year, and I'm curious to see if this visit can top my last one.
Other than making travel plans, my weekend was pretty slow. Sunday I talked Tracy into going shopping with me as I looked for a new watch. Naturally, I didn't find one, but he did. Frankly, I think he just wanted an excuse to talk to the cute salesclerk. Then we accidentally wandered into a Structure store to do a little looking around, not at the clothes, but at all the cute gayboys looking at the clothes. You couldn't swing a dead Nazi without hitting a cute boy. There was more cruising going on there than at Badlands after Last Call.
Adrian and I didn't make it to Kenneth's play Saturday, as Adrian wasn't able to get out of work until too late. Alas. Next weekend is the closing show, so I think he's going to take the day off so we can make it.
Then of course Sunday night was TV night. Andy, River, and Adrian came over. I was a little disappointed in X-Files (as I've been all season). They promised us Mulder; well, David Duchovny had no lines, and there were too many loose ends in the show, and I honestly think the Lone Gunmen were used just to advertise their upcoming spinoff. Hopefully the rest of the "sweeps month" episodes will be better.
And of course, QAF was good. I am really enjoying that show.
Today I ran downtown to take Adrian a card at work. He was not having a good evening last night, and I think the stress of having either work or school or both 7 days a week is starting to catch up with him. I'm trying to give him some space in which to chill out, so hopefully things will calm down and he can get through the next 6 months okay, after which he'll be finished with school.
And finally...I still think the teachers on Boston Public don't spend nearly enough time teaching. I mean, were any of them teaching at any point in tonight's episode? NO. I swear, when I get out of school and get back to teaching, I'm going to see if I can spend all of my time sleeping with students and solving murders, too.
6 Feb 2001
ring ring
Sometimes the phone rings at the MOST inopportune moments. You know who you are.
It is late. I am tired.
For my homework on Wednesday I have to go to a Senate committee hearing. So I better go iron a shirt.
I am REALLY tired.
My friend Douglas has an ad up on PlanetOut. I stumbled across it today (don't ask how). But if anyone in Denver is looking to meet a wonderful guy, go look for it.
Damn, I'm tired.
I have decided to use my web design skills for good rather than evil. So I am helping to redesign my department's website. They had everything up on one page...just a little bit of overkill. I will say, though, that simple web page designs should be done by one person at a time. Having two people sitting in front of the computer is just asking for trouble.
How did I get to be so tired tonight?
(There were two paragraphs here that dealt with Ronald Reagan and Alzheimer's Disease. I was making a joke at his expense, and even though Reagan did some things that put him beyond pity, I don't want to score any "bad karma" points. So, for once, I have gone back and edited myself. Tonight, I will think some good thoughts about him, but I will also remember that he denied the threat posed by AIDS for a number of years, setting back treatment and research by a lot.)
Hey, here's a thought: if I'm so tired, maybe I should go to bed.
7 Feb 2001
Bill = Lazy
Have you ever noticed that if you rearrange the letters in my name, and then change some of them, it spells "lazy"?
I got up this morning to go up to Capitol Hill. But a quick check of the C-SPAN schedule showed me that the hearing I was rushing to see this morning would be televised tonight. So I stayed home and did homework in my underwear, then taped the hearing tonight for later viewing. I figured there was no sense in getting all dressed up, then spending the commuting time there and back. And I got some good studying done today, too.
One thought that is becoming regular every Wednesday: master's and doctoral students just don't mix. I have a class with 10 master's students and only 2 of us in a doctoral program, and this class really isn't designed for us. It's not a question of being smarter or better educated, it's just that different levels of students are looking for different educational experiences in their classes. Master's students are trying to "master" a specific subject, while doctoral students look at a narrow field within a much larger context. Unfortunately, rather than bringing the master's students "up" to our level, the other doctoral-type-person and I are feeling really limited.
I don't want to say the class is a waste of time. But it's close. And I don't care for the fact that the instructor doesn't have a PhD. Would you take driver's ed from a teacher who didn't have a driver's license?
Alas, I'm being crabby tonight. I think I'm just tired again. Of course, if I wouldn't stay up past 1am...anyway, today was a pretty good day, as I talked to Tom, had e-mails back and forth with Ricky, Paul, and Douglas, talked to Tracy, saw Kenneth, got my airline tickets for London and LA, and finally saw some of River's sketches. So yeah, once you look at everything, this was a good day after all.
Oh, and the weather was pretty nice, too. Yay!
8 Feb 2001
hee hee look at me
OK, so,...
A couple weeks ago, I got my hair cut a little differently...
Now, if you don't know me, this doesn't look like any big deal, but if you DO know me, you know this looks a lot different.
Ever since then, I've been getting comments on it. From friends. From strangers on the street. From checkout clerks at the grocery store. From women at school. From folks who see it on my webcam.
Comments ranging from "wow" to "it makes you look 10 years younger" to "I would, like, totally DO you now." (OK, no one actually said that, but I know that's what this one girl at school was thinking)
I generally don't get wrapped up in my looks. What I mean is, I don't think my looks are my best feature. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm ugly or I hate my body or anything, but I think that when people are attracted to me, it's not my looks that they're after, but something else. People who think I'm attractive have usually gotten to know me first.
So as a result, I don't spend a lot on clothes or my hair. And when people actually come up and say something to me, it's a surprise.
And I think I kinda like it.
So thanks, Adrian, for trying something new. I guess that stylist school you're going to is working.
Tomorrow's entry will be far less shallow. But I just wanted to share that.
THE 2002 WINTER OLYMPIC GAMES BEGIN ONE YEAR FROM TODAY!!!!
And I have tickets! Nyah nyah nyah!!!
9 Feb 2001
Wahoowa
My college roommate came over tonight. Dave has been in town this week to help his dad get through some surgery. He's headed back this weekend, and our schedules didn't match up too well before today, but we finally got together.
It was wonderful to see him again. It's been about 7 months, and I was just sorry that the other Aristocrats in the DC area couldn't join us (too bad for you, Eric and Greg!). We downed some wine, pulled out some college photos, and he explained to me how he's managed to lose so much weight and build up so much muscle since the last time I saw him. (or, as Dave put it, "you'd want to do me if I shaved my legs and buttered them up." I'm not quite sure what that meant, but it sounded interesting!!)
I intoduced Dave to his wife-to-be when he visited me in Colorado once. She was hitting on me in a vclub (say what you will, Paula, you know you were!!) and, being gay, I decided to give her number to Dave. Today they are married. Funny how things work out.
I miss Dave, and he is one of the reasons I will enjoy being back in Colorado after I graduate.
And I bought a digital camera today, so now maybe I can finally get a picture of Dave up on my website.
Here's a hint: if you're going to use a translation website to write an e-mail in a different language, take the translated version and translate it back to English. You might be surprised by what you get. I tried to write a letter in Chinese to Mirza over in Singapore, and it was VERY weird by the time it got translated. I sent him the original English version, too, just so he could compare.
I generally don't go out of my way to get to know someone on the Net unless I think there's a good chance we'll meet up someday. Mirza and I have been e-maling each other almost every day, and have gotten to know some interesting things about each other. I hope he realizes this means that I'll be showing up in Singapore someday!!!
And there are a few other folks out there who better have the guest room ready, too...
10 Feb 2001
Cheers, mates
This story from the New York Times highlights one more reason that I think Brits are cool.
Huah. And if you don't know what that means, go ask a soldier. Except in THIS country, the policy is not to ask.
I got no work done today, but that's okay, since I spent the afternoon hanging out with Steve. (and now that I have a digital camera, I'll finally be able to put up a photo of him!) We went out to lunch, had horrible service at Cafe Asia (for the first time), saw cute boys at Cafe Asia (NOT for the first time!), came back and got caught up on what's going on with each other. I usually see Steve at least once a week, when a group comes over here for Sunday night TV, but we really don't get to talk much then. And our school schedules have not been conducive to getting together. So it was fun to spend the day with him. He seems to be moving along pretty well in school, and work is going okay when he isn't busy overwriting the website, and all in all he seems to have your basic happy life.
Of course, ALL my friends have a happy life, 'cuz they know ME. :P
Tonight I'm going to see Kenneth's play again with Adrian (he was able to get off work this week, so we should be able to make it on time). This is the last performance of the play; I think Kenneth is going to be a little sad when it's over.
And then Sunday, I have to work. Or go to the opera. One or the other.
11 Feb 2001
Slithery?
Do you ever pay any attention to the moon? I do.
I'm not a Moonie, nor do I moon people. But I tend to follow the cycles of the moon, for a variety of reasons. So it was that I noticed the recent Lunar New Year, which is generally celebrated as Tet in the Vietnamese culture, and as Chinese New Year by...well, you can probably figure that one out.
Have you ever looked at the placemat that is common in so many Chinese restaurants that lists the various animals in the Chinese zodiac? You know, it tells you which calender years are the Year of the Rabbit, which are the Year of the Boar, and so forth. We are now in the Year of the Snake. 1966, which is the year I was born, is listed as the Year of the Horse. Thus, I always assumed I was a horse.
Until I realized that my birthday falls in mid-January. And the Lunar New Year comes in late January.
Which means I was born in the lunar year before the Year of the Horse. In other words...I'm actually a snake.
I realize this isn't the most earth-shattering revelation. It's not as if I suddenly learned I was adopted, or that my entire life is being broadcast to the world, like Jim Carrey in The Truman Show. (though, come to think of it, I do have a webcam...hmmmmmm)
But, having always read the horoscopes and character descriptions of the Horse, I was kinda curious what Snakes were supposed to be like. I came acrosss the following on a Chinese zodiac site:
Snakes possess a strong, charismatic presence, as the most beautiful women and most powerful men tend to be born under this sign. Snakes are endowed with wisdom and are born philosophers. They are deep thinkers, who like to ponder things, to assess and formulate their views and plan their moves well in advance, then persist till the bitter end. This no doubt helps them excel in business negotiations.
OK, so far I can't argue with any of this. "Deep thinkers" = doctoral student, no?
Those born in the year of the Snake are not likely to be bothered by money problems. The majority of Snakes are financially successful and fortunate enough to have what they need. However, their fortunes very much depend on their careful and considered judgement in financial matters. In truth, the Snake people should not gamble; they will come out poorer in the end.
I'm not a rich man, but I can't complain. I have what I need, and if it's not the fanciest stuff in the world, that's primarily because I'm a cheap bastard...I mean, "thrifty bastard." As for gambling, I learned long ago not to do that. After 4 visits to Las Vegas (always just passing through) and a few trips to horse tracks and to that little gas station on the state line where they sold lottery tix, I can definitely say that gambling is NOT going to leave me any richer.
Subtle, mysterious, intangible and enigmatic, there is an element of the shiftiness that surrounds the Snake personality and will have many a dark secret locked up with them. Their outwards calm never betrays what they feel. In fact, they can be quite callous when they want to achieve their own ends. They have no qualms about removing anyone who stands in their way, especially if that person happens to be the gullible Boar or the meek Rabbit.
This part is a little off, at least for me. I'll buy "subtle" and "mysterious," but I hope none of my friends would call me "shifty." I don't think I'm ever callous; if anything, friends say I'm too nice sometimes. So, Boars and Rabbits, come be my friend.
All Snakes have a sense of humour. Even during a crisis, or under extreme duress, they can still crack a joke to lighten the atmosphere. As a lover, they are the epitomy of eroticism and seductiveness. It is no coincidence that femme fatales are described as "serpentine" in so many different cultures. There is no shortage of l'homme fatales born under this sign either!
I'm funny and erotic. Wow, they hit the nail on the head with that one. I also checked a "love match" site, and found that if you put two snakes together, their combined eroticism will cause the roof to cave in. I will agree that that's the case.
In other news, I have a case study that's due on Thursday in my Organizational Theory class. You know what that means, right? Right!! It's time for me to do an update on my website. So stay tuned!!!
12 Feb 2001
In or out?
(After writing this entry, it was much longer than I expected. Deal with it.)
Okay, so, I finally managed to see last Thursday’s episode of Will and Grace (one thing I have learned as a grad student is that a VCR can be one of your best friends. So can free web porn). Anyway, there was something on the show that left me a little troubled. Will was dating a guy who had just gotten a new job as a TV sportscaster, and his newfound friend didn’t think he could be “out” at work and introduced Will to his boss as his brother. Will, refusing to be “forced back into the closet,” as he put it, grappled with the issue and then dumped him (taking Grace’s advice, though I’m not really sure how much of an expert a straight woman is on this sort of thing).
So, that got me to thinking: if you’re totally out, but your boyfriend (or girlfriend, for any lesbians who are reading this but who never send me e-mail or sign my guestbook) is in a situation where he doesn’t feel he can be totally out, like with family or with work...well, what do you do? Are you going to accept that as one aspect of the relationship and go forward, or are you going to quit seeing him?
My feeling on this is that not everyone can afford to be totally out. Sadly, discrimination still exists, and too many people feel that their professional options or family relations will be permanently damaged if they come out to everyone. So, as part of the cost of keeping that job or seeing their grandparents regularly, they feel there are some conditions in which they can’t come out.
Is this unique to gay people? No, but too many of us do tend to act as if it is. Every benefit in life comes with a cost. If you want to be in the military, you can’t tell you’re co-workers you’re gay. If you want to be a doctor, you have to give up a few years of your life to school and incur a great amount of debt. If you’re a fundamentalist Christian and are teaching in a public high school, you can’t preach the Gospel to your students no matter how much you think they need it. It’s all about keeping a good balance between your professional and personal lives.
Frankly, I wish people would try to keep their personal and professional lives a little more separate. I can’t tell you how sick I got in my last job of the co-worker in the cubicle across from me who called his wife 3 or 4 times a day. Listening to this 45-year old guy say “hey, darling” in a sickly sweet voice every day would’ve turned me gay if I wasn’t already. When someone’s wives and kids would stop by the office “just to say hi” it pretty much brought work to a halt. And office parties with kids...GRRRRRRRRRRRR.
I’ve talked about this with friends and read about it on message boards, and I’ve noticed something about the people who say “you should always be out to everyone!” They often (though by no means always) fall into one of the following categories:
They don’t have anything to lose anyway The 35-year old guy who’s been waiting tables since high school can probably get another job if he loses this one. The pediatrician who loses his practice because parents don’t want him seeing their kids anymore is a different story.
They haven’t hit the real world yet It’s one thing to say what others should do when you’re living at home and Mom and Dad are paying the bills. Things look a little different once you get out and are responsible for putting your own food on the table. (One thing I should say, though: most of the people I know or talk to who are still in high school or college seem to understand the need for occasional discretion, even if they don’t feel that need themselves. Generation Y seems to be pretty good at understanding perspectives different from their own, which is a pretty important social skill that I don’t think I had at that age.)
They’ve never lived anywhere but a big city Someplace like LA, San Francisco, DC, or New York not only has a diverse and more tolerant culture, it also is likely to have more opportunities if you should lose your current job. However, for the 80% of the gay population that has to live in the real world (okay, I’m exaggerating a bit here, but you know what I mean) things are a little different. The gay guy in NYC and the gay guy in Wyoming are living in two different worlds, not just two different time zones.
So, are you being a bad person if you aren’t out in all situations? I don’t think so. If you're able to be totally out in your job or with your family, then congratulations! (and remember all the folks who came before you who worked to make that possible!!!) And if you don't feel you can be out, then at least be honest with yourself and with the people closest to you. That's really the most important thing, right?
And that brings me back to Will and his boyfriend. If you’ve been watching Will and Grace you know that Will has had approximately 2.7 dates during the entire run of the show. Karen’s maid is getting more action than Will. If he’s happier being alone and totally “out and proud,” well, then he made the right choice. But it would be a shame if he were unhappy simply through an inability to understand someone else’s perspective.
None of this is to say we should just accept discrimination and go back into hiding. But there are many ways of fighting discrimination, and not all of them require an "I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it!" stance in the office.
You know, the nice thing about gay-themed TV shows isn’t just that they show straight people the differentiation among gay folks; they show us, too.
In other TV-related news, I unfortunately discovered that Comedy Central runs an hour’s worth of Kids in the Hall every afternoon. This is either going to hurt my GPA or limit my nap time.
Probably my GPA.
14 Feb 2001
Multinational, Multicultural, Multiolfactory
First, I'd like to thank Verizon DSL for being down last night so I couldn't make a journal entry. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.
One thing I really like about DC, and which I will miss in Colorado, is the multiethnic nature of my neighborhood and, frankly, of my whole life. Colorado has three cultures: Native Coloradoan, Hispanic, and Transplanted Californians. But here, I've got a little bit of everything.
Like the guy working at the new 7-Eleven around the corner. He proved very helpful last night. He was from a culture where they don't have a history of personal hygiene. (Arkansas, perhaps?) You know how they say not to go to the grocery store when you're hungry 'cuz you'll hang out and buy a lot? Not a problem for me! All I wanted to do was get out of there in a hurry!
But then there's the fun stuff. Like, at the Java Shack, I heard my Vietnamese friend Kenneth launch into Spanish with two women from Mexico. He later told me that he could teach me some Chinese. All this, and English, too. How cool is that?
And Adrian, who's Laotian, should be taking me to my favorite Thai restaurant and explaining dishes to me. Or fixing me some Laotian meals. Hint, hint.
I've gotten to know people around the world, too, like Ricky and Scooter in Canada, Fabian James in England, and of course, Mirza in Singapore. Mirza has really been an interesting influence on me, and a fairly strong one, too. I am really enjoying getting to know him and learning about Asian culture from someone who's there right now.
Next thing you know, I'LL start speaking a new language, too. Though I suppose I should master English, first.
15 Feb 2001
Who is this "Adrian"?
In the last couple of days, I've gotten approximately 17 messages (plus or minus 15) asking me who this "Adrian" is that I keep mentioning. He popped up out of the blue, and his photo's not up (yet) on the Friends page on my website. So, who is he?
Well, Adrian is the very sweet guy I've gone out with a few times during the last month. I actually met him on my birthday, when Kenneth and I were dancing at Velvet Nation. Kenneth knows him, and he started dancing with us, and after Kenneth wandered off somewhere, Adrian and I danced and talked most of the night. We exchanged numbers, I called him about a week later, and we've since gone to a couple plays, had dinner together, hung out and watched movies -- you know, normal "date" stuff.
He's working a lot, AND going to school (he's a UVA grad, and is now going to hairstylist school because he wants to open his own salon someday -- and THAT'S why he's the one who gave me my fun new haircut!). He really pushes himself, and I'm glad he wanted to make time in his life to get to know me, 'cuz he's pretty sweet.
And yes, we had a nice dinner on Valentine's Day. But V-Day itself wasn't a big special day; I think people who like each other should do fun, special stuff for each other ANY day.
So, that's Adrian. Now you know. =)
Thursday was a long day, but I managed to finish up my Org Theory case study for tonight. And it was pretty damned good, if I do say so myself. It addressed a topic that I'll probably focus on for my dissertation, so it was good practice.
Wednesday was REALLY interesting. I went to a seminar on the peace process in Bosnia that was held at the National War College (interesting irony, no?). Then, for my peacekeeping class Wednesday night, we had a speaker, the Bishop of Kosovo for the Orthodox Church. As the religious leader for the Serbs still in Kosovo, he is in the US to get the word out that the Serbs in Kosovo are being "ethnically cleansed" by the Kosovo Albanians, and KFOR (the NATO peace enforcement force) is not stopping it. To be honest, I think KFOR is doing more than he's giving them credit for. And while I can objectively look at the situation and say yes, KFOR should try harder to protect the Serbs from murder and kidnapping, I just can't get emotional over it. The Albanians are doing to the Serbs what the Serbs did to the Albanians. Maybe the Serbs should have thought of that a few years ago, eh?
And with THAT cheery thought, I'm off to bed. I have to go to Pennsylvania for the day on Friday. Lots of driving. Yay.
17 Feb 2001
Bartender, I'll have a Sweet Mirza on the Rocks
I could write about my trip to Pennsylvania yesterday with the frumpy housewife of a classmate who never shuts up and who embarrassed our department by arguing with 3 US ambassadors about how the State Department works, and who was about 3 minutes away from getting strangled by me on the drive back last night.
But this is a happy entry, so I won't.
Or I could write about how the guy that was driving realized he'd taken a wrong turn but was too proud to ask directions so he drove an hour out of the way while apparently hoping the Washington Monument would just suddenly pop up.
But, like I said, this is a happy entry, so I won't.
I could even write about going to see the film Chocolat with Adrian last night, which was an amazing film that made me feel really, really good.
But, even though this is a happy entry, that's not what I'm going to write about.
No, I'm going to write about a phone call I got this morning. A phone call from my 'Net friend, Mirza, who lives in Singapore.
Mirza had asked for my phone number a couple weeks ago and had warned me he might call sometime. When I answered this morning and heard someone with a British accent asking for me, I somehow knew it was him.
We talked for about 45 minutes. He hadn't been able to respond to my e-mails lately (though I got a very sweet note and photo from him on Valentines Day) and wanted to chat, so he called me. What was funny was that I almost wasn't here to take the call. I had thought about running over to Starbucks, but the wind was roaring so loudly I figured I'd just fix coffee here. I had planned to jump into the shower, but decided to read for a bit first. Either way, I would've missed him. So something caused me to decide against both those options.
Anyway, it was great to talk with him. Mirza is a wonderful study of personality contradictions. His dark side and his inner light are battling for dominance. He's a bad boy who makes you purr. The story of how he and his partner came together (Peter moved there from Canada to be with him) is a beautiful one. His willingness to say anything, his ability to share his inner thoughts simply with his tone of voice, and the way he kept referring to "you white guys" made it a great phone call.
I have a tendency not to get to know people on the 'Net unless I think there's a chance we might meet someday. I'm getting to know a few people online now with whom I at least have a chance of meeting sometime. Will Mirza and I ever meet? That's less likely. But I still wanted to get to know him after the first couple of e-mails, and after reading his poetry on his website. He was out of town on an assignment for work when we met up online, and today he thanked me for "keeping him company" and offering some distraction while he was away from home. Now that he's back, I expect him to come up with some new stories for me (and he already has!).
Thanks for calling, Sweet Mirza. More importantly, thanks for not calling collect!
18 Feb 2001
Someone needs to turn up the heat
Okay, I don't recall ordering a 33-degree day. I'd like to send it back and exchange it for a warmer one.
Today was mostly a work day. I finished a draft of a paper I need to turn in before leaving for Chicago. I should be able to complete the paper on Monday. The other big task I need to do is to finish reviewing the manuscript of a book another fellow and I are editing. We're sending it to the publisher next month, and my co-editor will be at the conference in Chicago, so I need to finish it and take it with me. I'm on page 18. It's 230 pages long. Oops.
Naturally, I have an appointment with the eye doctor on Moday, and he's going to dialate my pupils, leaving me unable to read for about 4 hours. What idiot scheduled that?
Oh, wait...I did. Never mind.
I got another cool phone call tonight. I just got off the phone with Peter in LA. Peter and I met up when I went to New Orleans for Southern Decadence in September. He is SUCH a sweet guy, and we've stayed in touch ever since. It was great to find such a nice soul in what was (for that weekend, anyway) a pretty trashy city (not that I mind a little trashiness every now and then).
Anyway, I look forward to seeing Peter when River and I go to LA in May. I'm just the traveling fool this year, no?
Andy, Michael, Steven and River came over for Sunday night TV. The Simpsons were great (I was thinking this wasn't one of their better seasons, but they've improved). It was nice to see David Duchovny on X-Files and get a few things explained; next week's show looks pretty good, too. And Queer as Folk was very good tonight. I found myself relating a little more to some of the characters than I have before. When the show started last year I wondered if I'd watch it just because it was gay. Now I know I'm watching it just because it's good.
20 Feb 2001
Sweet Home, Chicago
Greetings from the Windy City!!
Actually, it’s just the bitch-ass-cold city right now. But anyway, I’m in Chicago for the rest of the week for a conference. I've never been here before, plus I have some friends who are going to be at the conference, PLUS there’s going to be some VERY interesting stuff discussed here. And, even better, I’m not the one paying for it!
Monday night a group of us went out for a friend’s birthday dinner. We went to an Italian place where they serve “family style,” and they brought us WAY too much food. By the time we were done we understood why everyone we saw was leaving with a takeout bag. I brought some tiramisu home for Adrian, who was coming over after work. He was going to trim my hair last night so I’d look extra-good for my trip, but the poor boy had been on his feet all day and was exhausted. So we just hung out and watched TV and talked, and he’ll fix up my hair next Sunday. Hey, it looks great for now. =)
I’m going to head out and explore Chicago for a bit before I have to start actually doing something worthwhile tomorrow morning. I may not update every day; it depends on my Internet connectivity. But hopefully I’ll have some fun stories to put in here. (evil grin)
21 Feb 2001
I'm stuffed...I couldn't eat another bite (name that film!)
Dinner tonight was at Gene and Georgette’s, a VERY nice steakhouse. I figured I had to hit a Chicago steakhouse while I was here (though I could’ve done without the Chicago steakhouse prices -- yikes!). It was incredible -- I swear there was a whole cow on the plate. Actually, the T-bone steak DID cover the entire plate -- I’m glad I stuck with a filet.
On the whole the conference is going pretty well so far. I’ve met a couple interesting people who will be useful contacts as I work on my dissertation. I went to a panel discussion that consisted of a group of people I used to teach with (including my mentor, for whom I expect to be working once I graduate). I also left early during the last panel of the day because the presenters were incredibly boring and their papers made little sense (and, in one case, the paper was merely propaganda for a country in turmoil that shall remain nameless). Seeing that panel was good for me, though, ‘cuz it’s nice to know these guys were able to earn PhDs…that makes me a LOT more confident in my own ability!!!
I should mention that the temperature dropped from “bitch-ass-cold” to “could they move the conference to MY hotel so I don’t have to go outside.” But at least it looked nice outside. Thursday we’re supposed to get rain and snow. Oh yay.
I’m surrounded by colleges in this neighborhood. DePaul University is right here, as is the Art Institute of Chicago. Hmmm, lots of theater boys and artists running around. Ah, it’s a rough life being me.
Did I mention I caved in to the cable company’s persuasion and got digital cable for a one-month free trial? Did I mention that it has worked for a grand total of 17 minutes since I got it? Did I mention that before I left I couldn’t get in touch with the cable company to fix it because their lines were so clogged it was impossible to get through? Did I mention that when the digital cable goes, it takes all my cable with it? Did I mention that, if it’s not up Sunday night, me and the boys are going to be watching Queer as Folk sitting on my bed, since the TV in my bedroom is NOT infected by digital cable? Did I mention that, if Brian and Justin have a steamy sex scene, I really don’t need to be sitting on a bed with half a dozen cute guys? Oy. That digital box is going away as soon as I get back.
Wednesday night was a work night. I finished reviewing the manuscript for my terrorism book being published this spring. My co-editor is here from Colorado, and I needed to get the final copy to him, so I made sure I finished it tonight so I could play the rest of the week. I had been talking online with a local before coming here so I could find out where to go dancing, good coffeehouse, etc. Anyway, Jade (his name) offered to show me around, so we met up and got some coffee after I got here Tuesday, then he showed me around Boys Town and we ended up at a bar called Roscoe’s watching (bad) drag. This one drag queen came up to Jade and started talking to him. Jade told me later that he didn’t think he knew her. I pointed out that me might not know her but perhaps he knows him out of drag. Who knows. Anyway, he’s going to take me to see the Shower Contest at one of the bars Friday night.
And that’s all from Chicago. Fun despite the cold (they could sell t-shirts that say that).
22 Feb 2001
More wine!
Well, okay, not too much more wine, as I have work to do. But definitely more Thai food!! We found this great little Thai place around the corner from the conference center and have gone there the last two days…and will no doubt go again on Friday. That place is yummy.
Thursday was an interesting day. The department head for whom I’ll be teaching when I get back to Colorado was giving a presentation today. I hadn’t met him before, as he got to the school after I left. Following his presentation (where I asked the most insightful question of the day, not that I was trying to make a good first impression or anything) I went up to talk to him. He looked at my nametag and said “Hi, Bill, nice to meet you,” to which I replied, “Nice to meet you, and I’m looking forward to working for you in a couple years.” He got a confused look for a second then said “Oh, THAT Bill.” Somehow I always seem to be known as “THAT Bill” no matter where I go. Anyway, we had a good chat. The head of the political science department was with him, and my friend Jim told him what a great asset I’d make as a part time teacher in Poli Sci. Hmmm, a great asset. At first I thought he said I had a great ass. True, but not what I’d expect him to say. =)
We had snow this morning, but nothing like what they had in DC. Funny thing: I almost didn’t come on this trip, thinking that I really shouldn’t miss my classes on Thursday night. Well, due to the weather, they were cancelled anyway. Once again I made the right decision. I tend to do that, at least 10% of the time!
It’s supposed to snow in Chicago this weekend. Naturally, that’s when I plan to check out the city during the day. Also, I have to fly home Sunday. I’d really rather not have that delayed.
I went to dinner tonight with Jade. We went to a great Italian place in Boys Town. Actually, he was going to take me to the Southeast Asian restaurant where he works, but we decided we should eat somewhere other than the place where he eats at least one meal a day! The place we went to was really good; if I can remember the name, I’ll be sure to recommend it to my friends who visit here. Afterwards we went and got coffee, then stopped off at a couple bars: Spin and Lucky Horseshoe. Spin has a video room and a dance floor, and it was 80s night. Jade doesn’t really like 80s music, so we left pretty quick (I didn’t have the heart to remind him that that’s the music of MY era!). Then we went to Lucky Horseshoe for about 45 seconds. There are few things sadder than an empty strip club. Oh, well, at least I can cross those two off my list.
We ended up back at Roscoe’s where we shot some pool and then hung around for the Wet Boxers contest. How totally tacky; I loved it. The guys’ faces weren’t all that cute, but their wet boxers were, well, um…let’s just say, when I saw one of the guys, all I could think was OUCH. I don’t think we have Wet Boxers contests in DC. Perhaps we should.
I’m glad I met up with Jade. He has certainly kept me out of trouble! Not that I would get INTO trouble, but there are lots of cute guys with great smiles and flirtatious eyes here, and , well, one of them might kidnap me or something. Hey, it could happen!!
Well, time to get about 6 hours sleep and do this all over again.
24 Feb 2001
Eddies and Currents
I’m a believer in free will. But every now and then, free will gets a little nudge. We’re all awash in eddies and currents, and occasionally they bump us into each other.
Case in point…
I had trouble sleeping Friday night, so when the alarm went off Saturday I hit the snooze button one time too many. Realizing I was running late, and would really have to rush to make it to the conference on time, I checked the lineup of the panel I was planning to sit in on. I realized that, of the 5 papers being presented, I was only interested in 1 of them, and I decided I could probably get that at the Paper Drop, and if not, no big deal (the Paper Drop is a huge room that contains copies of the papers being presented, which can be bought for a dollar).
So I wander leisurely over to the conference, and I get into the Paper Drop just as it opens. I grab the one I’m looking for, and see another that looks interesting, but before I leave I decide to just look around and see if anything catches my eye. Considering there’re nearly 2,000 papers being delivered here, there’s no way I’ll look at all of them, but I’ll check out a few.
After a while I’m ready to go, so I stop off at the front desk to pay for the ones I’m getting. As I pay the nice lady, and am preparing to walk out, I glance up.
Into the room walks one of my best friends from high school. I haven’t seen him, or even talked to him, in 15 years.
Now, that’s just bizarre. If I hadn’t hit the snooze button that one extra time, or checked the schedule one last time, I would’ve been in a panel discussion instead of the Paper Drop. If I hadn’t decided to look around, or if I had left the room 30 seconds earlier, I never would’ve seen him.
It’s almost enough to make you believe in fate.
Almost.
Either way, I’m ready to go home Sunday. This weather is nasty.
25 Feb 2001
This is your Captain speaking...
...just wanted to let you know we're screwed.
1pm (Central Time): Arrive at Midway Airport in Chicago for a 2:10pm departure for a 1 hour, 17 minute flight to Washington DC Reagan National Airport, with scheduled arrival at 5:00pm Eastern time.
1:45pm: board plane.
2:30pm: Captain reports they've finished their paperwork, prepared cabin for departure.
2:32pm: Captain reports that air traffic control has stopped all flights headed for DC National from taking off because of low clouds at National. Expected delay of 1 hour, but the Captain thinks we'll get off the ground sooner.
3:32pm: we continue to wait, in the plane, on the ground.
3:45pm: Captain reports flights have resumed for DC National, but the air traffic system is backed up, so we have to wait. Flight attendants serve orange juice and Coke (not mixed together).
4:00pm: Captain reports we have clearance, Clarence (roger Roger, what's out vector, Victor?). Flight attendants collect all remaining cups, and seats and tray tables go upright again.
4:10pm: we get off the ground. Flight attendants serve drinks (not free -- they're smarter than that)
5:45pm (Eastern Time): Captain reports that DC National is having major problems and we will hold for a while so they can decide whether we go to National or divert to Dulles. He bets we divert to Dulles. We begin to make big slow circles as the sun goes down. Poetic, in a way.
6:10pm: Captain reports we are headed for Dulles. We already assumed that.
6:45pm: enroute to Dulles Airport, I notice a helluva lot of other planes headed the same way. Realize that all the flights headed to National are now coming to Dulles. It's a race to see who gets there first.
7:00pm: we land at Dulles. Taxi for 15 minutes to a large open area far from any gates. Captain reports that no one knows yet how we are getting to National Airport. I figure I will simply take the shuttle bus to the Metro and jump on the train rather than going all the way to National, and THEN taking the Metro home.
7:05pm: it begins to dawn on some passengers that the airline does not normally fly to Dulles, so there is no staff here to meet us and make arrangements.
7:06pm: begin to notice all the other planes parking behind us.
7:07pm: begin to notice there are no steps for getting out of the plane.
7:08pm: see aircraft from airlines that fly only to Baltimore-Washington International Airport. Realize that BWI is also closed, and THEIR traffic is diverting here as well.
7:20pm: Captain reports that the buses bringing the Chicago-bound passengers from National Airport will be used to cart this crowd back over there. Still no steps.
7:40pm: Scurvy breaks out. I eat a lemon.
7:45pm: Captain reports a "people-mover" is coming to take passengers off plane. I realize they only hold about 100 people, whereas there are 200 on board. I choose not to say anything.
8:00pm: the first "people mover" arrives and Captain reports it only holds about 100. A second is right behind it.
8:15pm: I arrive at the terminal. Begin calling friends to determine if anyone has shown up at my place for Sunday night TV. I finally reach Arlington Michael. He offers to come pick me up. I tell him he can have my body.
8:40pm: still no sign of our luggage.
8:45pm: Airport Police arrive and quell an impending riot. They report that there is no one to take our luggage off the plane, but they are working something out with a private company to take care of the plane. And the buses came with the Chicago-bound passengers, but did not stay to take the new arrivals back to National. Oops.
8:56pm: River leaves a message on my cell phone. He is bar-hopping with a friend, and drunk off his ass.
9:00pm: Michael arrives just as parents begin eating their young. Our bags begin to arrive.
9:20pm: My bag finally shows up. We depart.
10:05pm: we arrive at my place in time for most of Queer As Folk. I have 8 phone messages since 2pm today. 2 are from Tracy; he had gone to National to pick me up. Damn. THAT'S incredibly sweet, so naturally, my plane didn't go there. 4 hours later, still not having heard from me, he calls again, worried. I call later and tell him what happened.
11:30pm: Pizza arrives. First thing I've eaten since a cinammon roll 12 hours ago. Pizza Hut Meat Lover's. Yum.
11:40pm: talk to Adrian. getting sleepy. Time for bed. After a journal entry.
But hey...we made it home safe. That's all that metters.
26 Feb 2001
Lazy Monday
Lazy, lazy day. Actually, lazy, lazy Bill.
I think I was still kinda wiped from yesterday's travel adventures. No big deal, though, as I got a lot of work done on the plane. I'm caught up on my reading for the classes I missed last week (which were cancelled anyway by the astounding 3-inch-snow-storm) and I've got most of this week's done. I have to put together a paper proposal for Wednesday's class, and work on a new outline for my Ethics paper (since I got the "interesting, but what does this have to do with ethics?" comment on my first attempt). My experiences at the conference last week gave me great ideas for a couple papers that will contribute later to my dissertation.
Talked to Tracy and Adrian today, haven't been able to reach Andy or River. Sounds like everyone had a fun weekend without me, though, which isn't supposed to happen!
I finished up the redesign on the front page of my website today. Everyone should click on the banner below and check it out!!! OK, it's just one page, there'll be some more redesign on the rest of the site. But that probably won't happen until I have a paper due in 72 hours and am looking for a distraction. =)
Oh, and the cable people apparently called twice while I was gone. No message, just a Caller ID indication. But my box still isn't working. Damn them anyway.
I'm off to pick up Adrian at work and go to Cafe Asia. I am jonesin' for some sushi. (is that proper English? I doubt it.)
28 Feb 2001
Chu Hoi
Chu hoi is what I said last night as I tried to update my journal. I am finally realizing that my ISP is going to go down on me (and not in the fun way, either) every night around midnight. Maybe they're doing maintenance. Maybe everybody in the DC area is trying to logon then, thinking no one else is. Maybe the whole world goes into suspended animation except me (a la X-Files, or maybe a bad episode of Three's Company) and so I can't get onto the Web. Or maybe, just maybe, it's somebody's way of telling me to go to bed sooner.
Incidentally, chu hoi is Vietnamese for I surrender. I picked it up from my dad. It's the only Vietnamese I know. Well, actually, I also know the name of a decent Vietnamese beer. But so far, that's it. So it's time to learn something new. Last night at the Java Shack I had a really good talk with Kenneth (we pretty much had the place to ourselves for an hour) and he explained some things about the Vietnamese language to me. He tried to teach me a couple phrases, but the accents and inflections are very important, and I wasn't getting them quite right, so he may be too frustrated to teach me any more. =) But I want to at least learn some phrases. And the other day, I came across a book, Conversational Thai in Seven Days. I may give that a try.
Why the interest in Asian languages? Well, primarily, because in the last week I've been with people who suddenly break into Laotian, Vietnamese, and Thai, and in addition to finding a second language very erotic (especially the way an Asian language flows, compared to the rougher tones of a European language) I have realized that I've spent a lot of time in the last 35 years looking at European cultures, but learning little about Asian cultures. I've never been to Asia, and until moving here, didn't really have that many friends who'd been born in Asia and emigrated here. But DC has a large Asian population (and Arlington has a big Southeast Asian influence) and I see this as an opportunity to learn about something new. Well, new to me, anyway.
I'm pretty much caught up on schoolwork following my Chicago experience. All in all, the Chicago trip was okay, but not great. It was useful professionally, but when I travel on business I generally try to spend more time getting to know the city, too. This time, between work, the weather, and the need to meet up with (straight) colleagues from across the country, I didn't really have the chance to explore. But that's OK.
'Cuz I'm leaving for London in two days. =)
Going down. And not in the good way.
I'm not sure what it is. Things seemed to be going just fine today, pretty much normal. I had a lot of reading to do for class tonight, but I managed to get it done, and even snuck in a meeting with my advisor that went really well.
But at some point tonight I just started feeling down. The drive home from school was no fun at all.
I was feeling kind of disappointed in some of my classes this semester, and I haven't been too pleased with my own performance to date. But I'm not sure if that's the problem, or if I'm just feeling that way because I'm down for other reasons.
My gym schedule has been totally messed up, and I haven't even done cardio since Tuesday, or weights since last week. Could that be it? Is it a physical thing? Or am I just upset with myself for not scheduling the time to go to the gym, perhaps demonstrating that I don't have the self-discipline that I thought I had?
Perhaps it's cyclical, and a couple of my biorythms are just bottoming out right now.
Maybe it's because Friday is Imbolc, the Wiccan sabbat that comes midway between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox, a time that is thought of in terms of "light without heat," a period in which we are buried by the cold (and let's face it, I'm not a big "winter" person).
Or is it possible that that's all bullshit and I'm just tired and need to go to bed? Actually, that's probably it, so I think I'll get some sleep and tackle things anew tomorrow.
I hate Thursdays. My longest day of the week.
(Actually, it's probably because I haven't heard from Mirza in 2 days. He's my 'Net friend in Singapore, but he just got home after a couple weeks away on business, and he and his lover have some catching up to do. But I'm so used to having an e-mail from him each morning, and now my routine is all messed up!)
2 Feb 2001
MUCH better!
OK, I don't what was up with me Thursday night, but Friday made me feel a LOT better. About 11am I got a call from Richmond Michael, who was up in DC for the day. He was headed to NYC tonight with a friend, but had nothing to do until then, and was hoping to drop by. Considering we hadn't seen each other since before Christmas, that sounded like a great idea!!
Mikey got here a little before noon, and we hung out and talked for about an hour before heading down to a good little Thai place for lunch (he had never had Thai food before). He stayed until about 3:30, when he had to go meet his friend. Mikey is in school (Cisco Networking school) and is still working retail while doing some consulting work for an information technology firm in New York. Not bad for an 18-year old!!! Oh, and by the way: he's featured in an article in the current issue of Joey magazine. Be sure to check it out!
So that was just what the doctor ordered for me: a surprise visit from a wonderful friend whom I hadn't seen in weeks.
Then, an hour after he left, Andy stopped by. And then tonight, River and I tried to go to a movie that was sold out, so ended up going out for coffee for a couple hours. I guess the universe heard that I was feeling a little down, so it sent some of my really good friends to make me feel better. And they did!!
Now, if I can just keep from getting sick (my throat is a little sore) I'll be okay.
I looked over the rest of the semester's assignments today. I think I can handle the big assignments with no problem: I've got a good idea for each of my three big papers, and all of them will relate to my dissertation. It's the weekly reading that's tripping me up. Each week it takes a lot longer than I expect. And there's a lot of "recommended" reading I haven't even touched yet.
But I talked to my advisor yesterday, and she thinks I'm in good shape. So I refuse to worry about it.
Of course, the best thing is that my local NPR station is about to end their winter pledge drive. Finally! I recently set my clock radio to NPR so I wake up to the news in the morning. The problem is, I drift off again when the local announcers come on, so there have been pledge drives in my dreams. And that just can't be good.
3 Feb 2001
Lazy Saturday
Sleeping late
Good coffee
Bitter cold
New shoes
Reading for school
E-mails from Fabian and Scooter
An e-card from Mirza
Surfing the Web for spring break info
Going to see Kenneth's play again
Virginia playing Wake Forest tonight
Not a bad way to spend the day
5 Feb 2001
Leaving on a jet plane...
The last few days have been all about travel. I haven't actually done any of it yet, mind you, but the plans have been made.
Last week I got approval from school to use some leftover funding to attend a conference in Chicago later this month. I'll be there for 5 days; I think it'll be more than a little fun. NOT ONLY will the conference be really interesting, and NOT ONLY will one of my really good friends (and future boss, and co-editor on our forthcoming book) be there, BUT ALSO I have never been to Chicago, so I am looking forward to checking out a new place.
Speaking of new places...I haven't been to L.A. since before I came out. I'll bet it's changed a bit since then; I know I certainly have. Anyway, River is going home for a visit this spring and wanted to show me around L.A., so...we're going for a week over Memorial Day. Yay!!! I'm going to see a side of L.A. that I never got to see before. And it will see a side of me as well.
And I'll get to see my friend Peter. He doesn't even know about this yet. Unless he's reading my journal. Then I'll bet he knows. 'cuz I just gave it away.
I have to say this: I am really happy that River and I have remained such good friends after breaking off our relationship last month. The thing I was most afraid of, when I felt we just weren't right for each other romantically, was that he and I would go our seperate ways. That hasn't happened; if anything, we're becoming better friends.
But that's not all the travel yet...
...'cuz in March, I'm going back to ENGLAND AND SCOTLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just made all my plans today. My favorite B&B has room for me, and I was able to get a decent airfare, so I'm heading back to Britain this year. Last year I experienced London and Edinburgh; this year, I'm going to take day trips out of London (most likely to Stonehenge/Bath, Stratford-on-Avon, and Bristol) and visit Glasgow, Scotland, for a couple days. I can't wait!!!! I had such a good time over there last year, and I'm curious to see if this visit can top my last one.
Other than making travel plans, my weekend was pretty slow. Sunday I talked Tracy into going shopping with me as I looked for a new watch. Naturally, I didn't find one, but he did. Frankly, I think he just wanted an excuse to talk to the cute salesclerk. Then we accidentally wandered into a Structure store to do a little looking around, not at the clothes, but at all the cute gayboys looking at the clothes. You couldn't swing a dead Nazi without hitting a cute boy. There was more cruising going on there than at Badlands after Last Call.
Adrian and I didn't make it to Kenneth's play Saturday, as Adrian wasn't able to get out of work until too late. Alas. Next weekend is the closing show, so I think he's going to take the day off so we can make it.
Then of course Sunday night was TV night. Andy, River, and Adrian came over. I was a little disappointed in X-Files (as I've been all season). They promised us Mulder; well, David Duchovny had no lines, and there were too many loose ends in the show, and I honestly think the Lone Gunmen were used just to advertise their upcoming spinoff. Hopefully the rest of the "sweeps month" episodes will be better.
And of course, QAF was good. I am really enjoying that show.
Today I ran downtown to take Adrian a card at work. He was not having a good evening last night, and I think the stress of having either work or school or both 7 days a week is starting to catch up with him. I'm trying to give him some space in which to chill out, so hopefully things will calm down and he can get through the next 6 months okay, after which he'll be finished with school.
And finally...I still think the teachers on Boston Public don't spend nearly enough time teaching. I mean, were any of them teaching at any point in tonight's episode? NO. I swear, when I get out of school and get back to teaching, I'm going to see if I can spend all of my time sleeping with students and solving murders, too.
6 Feb 2001
ring ring
Sometimes the phone rings at the MOST inopportune moments. You know who you are.
It is late. I am tired.
For my homework on Wednesday I have to go to a Senate committee hearing. So I better go iron a shirt.
I am REALLY tired.
My friend Douglas has an ad up on PlanetOut. I stumbled across it today (don't ask how). But if anyone in Denver is looking to meet a wonderful guy, go look for it.
Damn, I'm tired.
I have decided to use my web design skills for good rather than evil. So I am helping to redesign my department's website. They had everything up on one page...just a little bit of overkill. I will say, though, that simple web page designs should be done by one person at a time. Having two people sitting in front of the computer is just asking for trouble.
How did I get to be so tired tonight?
(There were two paragraphs here that dealt with Ronald Reagan and Alzheimer's Disease. I was making a joke at his expense, and even though Reagan did some things that put him beyond pity, I don't want to score any "bad karma" points. So, for once, I have gone back and edited myself. Tonight, I will think some good thoughts about him, but I will also remember that he denied the threat posed by AIDS for a number of years, setting back treatment and research by a lot.)
Hey, here's a thought: if I'm so tired, maybe I should go to bed.
7 Feb 2001
Bill = Lazy
Have you ever noticed that if you rearrange the letters in my name, and then change some of them, it spells "lazy"?
I got up this morning to go up to Capitol Hill. But a quick check of the C-SPAN schedule showed me that the hearing I was rushing to see this morning would be televised tonight. So I stayed home and did homework in my underwear, then taped the hearing tonight for later viewing. I figured there was no sense in getting all dressed up, then spending the commuting time there and back. And I got some good studying done today, too.
One thought that is becoming regular every Wednesday: master's and doctoral students just don't mix. I have a class with 10 master's students and only 2 of us in a doctoral program, and this class really isn't designed for us. It's not a question of being smarter or better educated, it's just that different levels of students are looking for different educational experiences in their classes. Master's students are trying to "master" a specific subject, while doctoral students look at a narrow field within a much larger context. Unfortunately, rather than bringing the master's students "up" to our level, the other doctoral-type-person and I are feeling really limited.
I don't want to say the class is a waste of time. But it's close. And I don't care for the fact that the instructor doesn't have a PhD. Would you take driver's ed from a teacher who didn't have a driver's license?
Alas, I'm being crabby tonight. I think I'm just tired again. Of course, if I wouldn't stay up past 1am...anyway, today was a pretty good day, as I talked to Tom, had e-mails back and forth with Ricky, Paul, and Douglas, talked to Tracy, saw Kenneth, got my airline tickets for London and LA, and finally saw some of River's sketches. So yeah, once you look at everything, this was a good day after all.
Oh, and the weather was pretty nice, too. Yay!
8 Feb 2001
hee hee look at me
OK, so,...
A couple weeks ago, I got my hair cut a little differently...
Now, if you don't know me, this doesn't look like any big deal, but if you DO know me, you know this looks a lot different.
Ever since then, I've been getting comments on it. From friends. From strangers on the street. From checkout clerks at the grocery store. From women at school. From folks who see it on my webcam.
Comments ranging from "wow" to "it makes you look 10 years younger" to "I would, like, totally DO you now." (OK, no one actually said that, but I know that's what this one girl at school was thinking)
I generally don't get wrapped up in my looks. What I mean is, I don't think my looks are my best feature. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm ugly or I hate my body or anything, but I think that when people are attracted to me, it's not my looks that they're after, but something else. People who think I'm attractive have usually gotten to know me first.
So as a result, I don't spend a lot on clothes or my hair. And when people actually come up and say something to me, it's a surprise.
And I think I kinda like it.
So thanks, Adrian, for trying something new. I guess that stylist school you're going to is working.
Tomorrow's entry will be far less shallow. But I just wanted to share that.
THE 2002 WINTER OLYMPIC GAMES BEGIN ONE YEAR FROM TODAY!!!!
And I have tickets! Nyah nyah nyah!!!
9 Feb 2001
Wahoowa
My college roommate came over tonight. Dave has been in town this week to help his dad get through some surgery. He's headed back this weekend, and our schedules didn't match up too well before today, but we finally got together.
It was wonderful to see him again. It's been about 7 months, and I was just sorry that the other Aristocrats in the DC area couldn't join us (too bad for you, Eric and Greg!). We downed some wine, pulled out some college photos, and he explained to me how he's managed to lose so much weight and build up so much muscle since the last time I saw him. (or, as Dave put it, "you'd want to do me if I shaved my legs and buttered them up." I'm not quite sure what that meant, but it sounded interesting!!)
I intoduced Dave to his wife-to-be when he visited me in Colorado once. She was hitting on me in a vclub (say what you will, Paula, you know you were!!) and, being gay, I decided to give her number to Dave. Today they are married. Funny how things work out.
I miss Dave, and he is one of the reasons I will enjoy being back in Colorado after I graduate.
And I bought a digital camera today, so now maybe I can finally get a picture of Dave up on my website.
Here's a hint: if you're going to use a translation website to write an e-mail in a different language, take the translated version and translate it back to English. You might be surprised by what you get. I tried to write a letter in Chinese to Mirza over in Singapore, and it was VERY weird by the time it got translated. I sent him the original English version, too, just so he could compare.
I generally don't go out of my way to get to know someone on the Net unless I think there's a good chance we'll meet up someday. Mirza and I have been e-maling each other almost every day, and have gotten to know some interesting things about each other. I hope he realizes this means that I'll be showing up in Singapore someday!!!
And there are a few other folks out there who better have the guest room ready, too...
10 Feb 2001
Cheers, mates
This story from the New York Times highlights one more reason that I think Brits are cool.
Huah. And if you don't know what that means, go ask a soldier. Except in THIS country, the policy is not to ask.
I got no work done today, but that's okay, since I spent the afternoon hanging out with Steve. (and now that I have a digital camera, I'll finally be able to put up a photo of him!) We went out to lunch, had horrible service at Cafe Asia (for the first time), saw cute boys at Cafe Asia (NOT for the first time!), came back and got caught up on what's going on with each other. I usually see Steve at least once a week, when a group comes over here for Sunday night TV, but we really don't get to talk much then. And our school schedules have not been conducive to getting together. So it was fun to spend the day with him. He seems to be moving along pretty well in school, and work is going okay when he isn't busy overwriting the website, and all in all he seems to have your basic happy life.
Of course, ALL my friends have a happy life, 'cuz they know ME. :P
Tonight I'm going to see Kenneth's play again with Adrian (he was able to get off work this week, so we should be able to make it on time). This is the last performance of the play; I think Kenneth is going to be a little sad when it's over.
And then Sunday, I have to work. Or go to the opera. One or the other.
11 Feb 2001
Slithery?
Do you ever pay any attention to the moon? I do.
I'm not a Moonie, nor do I moon people. But I tend to follow the cycles of the moon, for a variety of reasons. So it was that I noticed the recent Lunar New Year, which is generally celebrated as Tet in the Vietnamese culture, and as Chinese New Year by...well, you can probably figure that one out.
Have you ever looked at the placemat that is common in so many Chinese restaurants that lists the various animals in the Chinese zodiac? You know, it tells you which calender years are the Year of the Rabbit, which are the Year of the Boar, and so forth. We are now in the Year of the Snake. 1966, which is the year I was born, is listed as the Year of the Horse. Thus, I always assumed I was a horse.
Until I realized that my birthday falls in mid-January. And the Lunar New Year comes in late January.
Which means I was born in the lunar year before the Year of the Horse. In other words...I'm actually a snake.
I realize this isn't the most earth-shattering revelation. It's not as if I suddenly learned I was adopted, or that my entire life is being broadcast to the world, like Jim Carrey in The Truman Show. (though, come to think of it, I do have a webcam...hmmmmmm)
But, having always read the horoscopes and character descriptions of the Horse, I was kinda curious what Snakes were supposed to be like. I came acrosss the following on a Chinese zodiac site:
Snakes possess a strong, charismatic presence, as the most beautiful women and most powerful men tend to be born under this sign. Snakes are endowed with wisdom and are born philosophers. They are deep thinkers, who like to ponder things, to assess and formulate their views and plan their moves well in advance, then persist till the bitter end. This no doubt helps them excel in business negotiations.
OK, so far I can't argue with any of this. "Deep thinkers" = doctoral student, no?
Those born in the year of the Snake are not likely to be bothered by money problems. The majority of Snakes are financially successful and fortunate enough to have what they need. However, their fortunes very much depend on their careful and considered judgement in financial matters. In truth, the Snake people should not gamble; they will come out poorer in the end.
I'm not a rich man, but I can't complain. I have what I need, and if it's not the fanciest stuff in the world, that's primarily because I'm a cheap bastard...I mean, "thrifty bastard." As for gambling, I learned long ago not to do that. After 4 visits to Las Vegas (always just passing through) and a few trips to horse tracks and to that little gas station on the state line where they sold lottery tix, I can definitely say that gambling is NOT going to leave me any richer.
Subtle, mysterious, intangible and enigmatic, there is an element of the shiftiness that surrounds the Snake personality and will have many a dark secret locked up with them. Their outwards calm never betrays what they feel. In fact, they can be quite callous when they want to achieve their own ends. They have no qualms about removing anyone who stands in their way, especially if that person happens to be the gullible Boar or the meek Rabbit.
This part is a little off, at least for me. I'll buy "subtle" and "mysterious," but I hope none of my friends would call me "shifty." I don't think I'm ever callous; if anything, friends say I'm too nice sometimes. So, Boars and Rabbits, come be my friend.
All Snakes have a sense of humour. Even during a crisis, or under extreme duress, they can still crack a joke to lighten the atmosphere. As a lover, they are the epitomy of eroticism and seductiveness. It is no coincidence that femme fatales are described as "serpentine" in so many different cultures. There is no shortage of l'homme fatales born under this sign either!
I'm funny and erotic. Wow, they hit the nail on the head with that one. I also checked a "love match" site, and found that if you put two snakes together, their combined eroticism will cause the roof to cave in. I will agree that that's the case.
In other news, I have a case study that's due on Thursday in my Organizational Theory class. You know what that means, right? Right!! It's time for me to do an update on my website. So stay tuned!!!
12 Feb 2001
In or out?
(After writing this entry, it was much longer than I expected. Deal with it.)
Okay, so, I finally managed to see last Thursday’s episode of Will and Grace (one thing I have learned as a grad student is that a VCR can be one of your best friends. So can free web porn). Anyway, there was something on the show that left me a little troubled. Will was dating a guy who had just gotten a new job as a TV sportscaster, and his newfound friend didn’t think he could be “out” at work and introduced Will to his boss as his brother. Will, refusing to be “forced back into the closet,” as he put it, grappled with the issue and then dumped him (taking Grace’s advice, though I’m not really sure how much of an expert a straight woman is on this sort of thing).
So, that got me to thinking: if you’re totally out, but your boyfriend (or girlfriend, for any lesbians who are reading this but who never send me e-mail or sign my guestbook) is in a situation where he doesn’t feel he can be totally out, like with family or with work...well, what do you do? Are you going to accept that as one aspect of the relationship and go forward, or are you going to quit seeing him?
My feeling on this is that not everyone can afford to be totally out. Sadly, discrimination still exists, and too many people feel that their professional options or family relations will be permanently damaged if they come out to everyone. So, as part of the cost of keeping that job or seeing their grandparents regularly, they feel there are some conditions in which they can’t come out.
Is this unique to gay people? No, but too many of us do tend to act as if it is. Every benefit in life comes with a cost. If you want to be in the military, you can’t tell you’re co-workers you’re gay. If you want to be a doctor, you have to give up a few years of your life to school and incur a great amount of debt. If you’re a fundamentalist Christian and are teaching in a public high school, you can’t preach the Gospel to your students no matter how much you think they need it. It’s all about keeping a good balance between your professional and personal lives.
Frankly, I wish people would try to keep their personal and professional lives a little more separate. I can’t tell you how sick I got in my last job of the co-worker in the cubicle across from me who called his wife 3 or 4 times a day. Listening to this 45-year old guy say “hey, darling” in a sickly sweet voice every day would’ve turned me gay if I wasn’t already. When someone’s wives and kids would stop by the office “just to say hi” it pretty much brought work to a halt. And office parties with kids...GRRRRRRRRRRRR.
I’ve talked about this with friends and read about it on message boards, and I’ve noticed something about the people who say “you should always be out to everyone!” They often (though by no means always) fall into one of the following categories:
They don’t have anything to lose anyway The 35-year old guy who’s been waiting tables since high school can probably get another job if he loses this one. The pediatrician who loses his practice because parents don’t want him seeing their kids anymore is a different story.
They haven’t hit the real world yet It’s one thing to say what others should do when you’re living at home and Mom and Dad are paying the bills. Things look a little different once you get out and are responsible for putting your own food on the table. (One thing I should say, though: most of the people I know or talk to who are still in high school or college seem to understand the need for occasional discretion, even if they don’t feel that need themselves. Generation Y seems to be pretty good at understanding perspectives different from their own, which is a pretty important social skill that I don’t think I had at that age.)
They’ve never lived anywhere but a big city Someplace like LA, San Francisco, DC, or New York not only has a diverse and more tolerant culture, it also is likely to have more opportunities if you should lose your current job. However, for the 80% of the gay population that has to live in the real world (okay, I’m exaggerating a bit here, but you know what I mean) things are a little different. The gay guy in NYC and the gay guy in Wyoming are living in two different worlds, not just two different time zones.
So, are you being a bad person if you aren’t out in all situations? I don’t think so. If you're able to be totally out in your job or with your family, then congratulations! (and remember all the folks who came before you who worked to make that possible!!!) And if you don't feel you can be out, then at least be honest with yourself and with the people closest to you. That's really the most important thing, right?
And that brings me back to Will and his boyfriend. If you’ve been watching Will and Grace you know that Will has had approximately 2.7 dates during the entire run of the show. Karen’s maid is getting more action than Will. If he’s happier being alone and totally “out and proud,” well, then he made the right choice. But it would be a shame if he were unhappy simply through an inability to understand someone else’s perspective.
None of this is to say we should just accept discrimination and go back into hiding. But there are many ways of fighting discrimination, and not all of them require an "I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it!" stance in the office.
You know, the nice thing about gay-themed TV shows isn’t just that they show straight people the differentiation among gay folks; they show us, too.
In other TV-related news, I unfortunately discovered that Comedy Central runs an hour’s worth of Kids in the Hall every afternoon. This is either going to hurt my GPA or limit my nap time.
Probably my GPA.
14 Feb 2001
Multinational, Multicultural, Multiolfactory
First, I'd like to thank Verizon DSL for being down last night so I couldn't make a journal entry. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.
One thing I really like about DC, and which I will miss in Colorado, is the multiethnic nature of my neighborhood and, frankly, of my whole life. Colorado has three cultures: Native Coloradoan, Hispanic, and Transplanted Californians. But here, I've got a little bit of everything.
Like the guy working at the new 7-Eleven around the corner. He proved very helpful last night. He was from a culture where they don't have a history of personal hygiene. (Arkansas, perhaps?) You know how they say not to go to the grocery store when you're hungry 'cuz you'll hang out and buy a lot? Not a problem for me! All I wanted to do was get out of there in a hurry!
But then there's the fun stuff. Like, at the Java Shack, I heard my Vietnamese friend Kenneth launch into Spanish with two women from Mexico. He later told me that he could teach me some Chinese. All this, and English, too. How cool is that?
And Adrian, who's Laotian, should be taking me to my favorite Thai restaurant and explaining dishes to me. Or fixing me some Laotian meals. Hint, hint.
I've gotten to know people around the world, too, like Ricky and Scooter in Canada, Fabian James in England, and of course, Mirza in Singapore. Mirza has really been an interesting influence on me, and a fairly strong one, too. I am really enjoying getting to know him and learning about Asian culture from someone who's there right now.
Next thing you know, I'LL start speaking a new language, too. Though I suppose I should master English, first.
15 Feb 2001
Who is this "Adrian"?
In the last couple of days, I've gotten approximately 17 messages (plus or minus 15) asking me who this "Adrian" is that I keep mentioning. He popped up out of the blue, and his photo's not up (yet) on the Friends page on my website. So, who is he?
Well, Adrian is the very sweet guy I've gone out with a few times during the last month. I actually met him on my birthday, when Kenneth and I were dancing at Velvet Nation. Kenneth knows him, and he started dancing with us, and after Kenneth wandered off somewhere, Adrian and I danced and talked most of the night. We exchanged numbers, I called him about a week later, and we've since gone to a couple plays, had dinner together, hung out and watched movies -- you know, normal "date" stuff.
He's working a lot, AND going to school (he's a UVA grad, and is now going to hairstylist school because he wants to open his own salon someday -- and THAT'S why he's the one who gave me my fun new haircut!). He really pushes himself, and I'm glad he wanted to make time in his life to get to know me, 'cuz he's pretty sweet.
And yes, we had a nice dinner on Valentine's Day. But V-Day itself wasn't a big special day; I think people who like each other should do fun, special stuff for each other ANY day.
So, that's Adrian. Now you know. =)
Thursday was a long day, but I managed to finish up my Org Theory case study for tonight. And it was pretty damned good, if I do say so myself. It addressed a topic that I'll probably focus on for my dissertation, so it was good practice.
Wednesday was REALLY interesting. I went to a seminar on the peace process in Bosnia that was held at the National War College (interesting irony, no?). Then, for my peacekeeping class Wednesday night, we had a speaker, the Bishop of Kosovo for the Orthodox Church. As the religious leader for the Serbs still in Kosovo, he is in the US to get the word out that the Serbs in Kosovo are being "ethnically cleansed" by the Kosovo Albanians, and KFOR (the NATO peace enforcement force) is not stopping it. To be honest, I think KFOR is doing more than he's giving them credit for. And while I can objectively look at the situation and say yes, KFOR should try harder to protect the Serbs from murder and kidnapping, I just can't get emotional over it. The Albanians are doing to the Serbs what the Serbs did to the Albanians. Maybe the Serbs should have thought of that a few years ago, eh?
And with THAT cheery thought, I'm off to bed. I have to go to Pennsylvania for the day on Friday. Lots of driving. Yay.
17 Feb 2001
Bartender, I'll have a Sweet Mirza on the Rocks
I could write about my trip to Pennsylvania yesterday with the frumpy housewife of a classmate who never shuts up and who embarrassed our department by arguing with 3 US ambassadors about how the State Department works, and who was about 3 minutes away from getting strangled by me on the drive back last night.
But this is a happy entry, so I won't.
Or I could write about how the guy that was driving realized he'd taken a wrong turn but was too proud to ask directions so he drove an hour out of the way while apparently hoping the Washington Monument would just suddenly pop up.
But, like I said, this is a happy entry, so I won't.
I could even write about going to see the film Chocolat with Adrian last night, which was an amazing film that made me feel really, really good.
But, even though this is a happy entry, that's not what I'm going to write about.
No, I'm going to write about a phone call I got this morning. A phone call from my 'Net friend, Mirza, who lives in Singapore.
Mirza had asked for my phone number a couple weeks ago and had warned me he might call sometime. When I answered this morning and heard someone with a British accent asking for me, I somehow knew it was him.
We talked for about 45 minutes. He hadn't been able to respond to my e-mails lately (though I got a very sweet note and photo from him on Valentines Day) and wanted to chat, so he called me. What was funny was that I almost wasn't here to take the call. I had thought about running over to Starbucks, but the wind was roaring so loudly I figured I'd just fix coffee here. I had planned to jump into the shower, but decided to read for a bit first. Either way, I would've missed him. So something caused me to decide against both those options.
Anyway, it was great to talk with him. Mirza is a wonderful study of personality contradictions. His dark side and his inner light are battling for dominance. He's a bad boy who makes you purr. The story of how he and his partner came together (Peter moved there from Canada to be with him) is a beautiful one. His willingness to say anything, his ability to share his inner thoughts simply with his tone of voice, and the way he kept referring to "you white guys" made it a great phone call.
I have a tendency not to get to know people on the 'Net unless I think there's a chance we might meet someday. I'm getting to know a few people online now with whom I at least have a chance of meeting sometime. Will Mirza and I ever meet? That's less likely. But I still wanted to get to know him after the first couple of e-mails, and after reading his poetry on his website. He was out of town on an assignment for work when we met up online, and today he thanked me for "keeping him company" and offering some distraction while he was away from home. Now that he's back, I expect him to come up with some new stories for me (and he already has!).
Thanks for calling, Sweet Mirza. More importantly, thanks for not calling collect!
18 Feb 2001
Someone needs to turn up the heat
Okay, I don't recall ordering a 33-degree day. I'd like to send it back and exchange it for a warmer one.
Today was mostly a work day. I finished a draft of a paper I need to turn in before leaving for Chicago. I should be able to complete the paper on Monday. The other big task I need to do is to finish reviewing the manuscript of a book another fellow and I are editing. We're sending it to the publisher next month, and my co-editor will be at the conference in Chicago, so I need to finish it and take it with me. I'm on page 18. It's 230 pages long. Oops.
Naturally, I have an appointment with the eye doctor on Moday, and he's going to dialate my pupils, leaving me unable to read for about 4 hours. What idiot scheduled that?
Oh, wait...I did. Never mind.
I got another cool phone call tonight. I just got off the phone with Peter in LA. Peter and I met up when I went to New Orleans for Southern Decadence in September. He is SUCH a sweet guy, and we've stayed in touch ever since. It was great to find such a nice soul in what was (for that weekend, anyway) a pretty trashy city (not that I mind a little trashiness every now and then).
Anyway, I look forward to seeing Peter when River and I go to LA in May. I'm just the traveling fool this year, no?
Andy, Michael, Steven and River came over for Sunday night TV. The Simpsons were great (I was thinking this wasn't one of their better seasons, but they've improved). It was nice to see David Duchovny on X-Files and get a few things explained; next week's show looks pretty good, too. And Queer as Folk was very good tonight. I found myself relating a little more to some of the characters than I have before. When the show started last year I wondered if I'd watch it just because it was gay. Now I know I'm watching it just because it's good.
20 Feb 2001
Sweet Home, Chicago
Greetings from the Windy City!!
Actually, it’s just the bitch-ass-cold city right now. But anyway, I’m in Chicago for the rest of the week for a conference. I've never been here before, plus I have some friends who are going to be at the conference, PLUS there’s going to be some VERY interesting stuff discussed here. And, even better, I’m not the one paying for it!
Monday night a group of us went out for a friend’s birthday dinner. We went to an Italian place where they serve “family style,” and they brought us WAY too much food. By the time we were done we understood why everyone we saw was leaving with a takeout bag. I brought some tiramisu home for Adrian, who was coming over after work. He was going to trim my hair last night so I’d look extra-good for my trip, but the poor boy had been on his feet all day and was exhausted. So we just hung out and watched TV and talked, and he’ll fix up my hair next Sunday. Hey, it looks great for now. =)
I’m going to head out and explore Chicago for a bit before I have to start actually doing something worthwhile tomorrow morning. I may not update every day; it depends on my Internet connectivity. But hopefully I’ll have some fun stories to put in here. (evil grin)
21 Feb 2001
I'm stuffed...I couldn't eat another bite (name that film!)
Dinner tonight was at Gene and Georgette’s, a VERY nice steakhouse. I figured I had to hit a Chicago steakhouse while I was here (though I could’ve done without the Chicago steakhouse prices -- yikes!). It was incredible -- I swear there was a whole cow on the plate. Actually, the T-bone steak DID cover the entire plate -- I’m glad I stuck with a filet.
On the whole the conference is going pretty well so far. I’ve met a couple interesting people who will be useful contacts as I work on my dissertation. I went to a panel discussion that consisted of a group of people I used to teach with (including my mentor, for whom I expect to be working once I graduate). I also left early during the last panel of the day because the presenters were incredibly boring and their papers made little sense (and, in one case, the paper was merely propaganda for a country in turmoil that shall remain nameless). Seeing that panel was good for me, though, ‘cuz it’s nice to know these guys were able to earn PhDs…that makes me a LOT more confident in my own ability!!!
I should mention that the temperature dropped from “bitch-ass-cold” to “could they move the conference to MY hotel so I don’t have to go outside.” But at least it looked nice outside. Thursday we’re supposed to get rain and snow. Oh yay.
I’m surrounded by colleges in this neighborhood. DePaul University is right here, as is the Art Institute of Chicago. Hmmm, lots of theater boys and artists running around. Ah, it’s a rough life being me.
Did I mention I caved in to the cable company’s persuasion and got digital cable for a one-month free trial? Did I mention that it has worked for a grand total of 17 minutes since I got it? Did I mention that before I left I couldn’t get in touch with the cable company to fix it because their lines were so clogged it was impossible to get through? Did I mention that when the digital cable goes, it takes all my cable with it? Did I mention that, if it’s not up Sunday night, me and the boys are going to be watching Queer as Folk sitting on my bed, since the TV in my bedroom is NOT infected by digital cable? Did I mention that, if Brian and Justin have a steamy sex scene, I really don’t need to be sitting on a bed with half a dozen cute guys? Oy. That digital box is going away as soon as I get back.
Wednesday night was a work night. I finished reviewing the manuscript for my terrorism book being published this spring. My co-editor is here from Colorado, and I needed to get the final copy to him, so I made sure I finished it tonight so I could play the rest of the week. I had been talking online with a local before coming here so I could find out where to go dancing, good coffeehouse, etc. Anyway, Jade (his name) offered to show me around, so we met up and got some coffee after I got here Tuesday, then he showed me around Boys Town and we ended up at a bar called Roscoe’s watching (bad) drag. This one drag queen came up to Jade and started talking to him. Jade told me later that he didn’t think he knew her. I pointed out that me might not know her but perhaps he knows him out of drag. Who knows. Anyway, he’s going to take me to see the Shower Contest at one of the bars Friday night.
And that’s all from Chicago. Fun despite the cold (they could sell t-shirts that say that).
22 Feb 2001
More wine!
Well, okay, not too much more wine, as I have work to do. But definitely more Thai food!! We found this great little Thai place around the corner from the conference center and have gone there the last two days…and will no doubt go again on Friday. That place is yummy.
Thursday was an interesting day. The department head for whom I’ll be teaching when I get back to Colorado was giving a presentation today. I hadn’t met him before, as he got to the school after I left. Following his presentation (where I asked the most insightful question of the day, not that I was trying to make a good first impression or anything) I went up to talk to him. He looked at my nametag and said “Hi, Bill, nice to meet you,” to which I replied, “Nice to meet you, and I’m looking forward to working for you in a couple years.” He got a confused look for a second then said “Oh, THAT Bill.” Somehow I always seem to be known as “THAT Bill” no matter where I go. Anyway, we had a good chat. The head of the political science department was with him, and my friend Jim told him what a great asset I’d make as a part time teacher in Poli Sci. Hmmm, a great asset. At first I thought he said I had a great ass. True, but not what I’d expect him to say. =)
We had snow this morning, but nothing like what they had in DC. Funny thing: I almost didn’t come on this trip, thinking that I really shouldn’t miss my classes on Thursday night. Well, due to the weather, they were cancelled anyway. Once again I made the right decision. I tend to do that, at least 10% of the time!
It’s supposed to snow in Chicago this weekend. Naturally, that’s when I plan to check out the city during the day. Also, I have to fly home Sunday. I’d really rather not have that delayed.
I went to dinner tonight with Jade. We went to a great Italian place in Boys Town. Actually, he was going to take me to the Southeast Asian restaurant where he works, but we decided we should eat somewhere other than the place where he eats at least one meal a day! The place we went to was really good; if I can remember the name, I’ll be sure to recommend it to my friends who visit here. Afterwards we went and got coffee, then stopped off at a couple bars: Spin and Lucky Horseshoe. Spin has a video room and a dance floor, and it was 80s night. Jade doesn’t really like 80s music, so we left pretty quick (I didn’t have the heart to remind him that that’s the music of MY era!). Then we went to Lucky Horseshoe for about 45 seconds. There are few things sadder than an empty strip club. Oh, well, at least I can cross those two off my list.
We ended up back at Roscoe’s where we shot some pool and then hung around for the Wet Boxers contest. How totally tacky; I loved it. The guys’ faces weren’t all that cute, but their wet boxers were, well, um…let’s just say, when I saw one of the guys, all I could think was OUCH. I don’t think we have Wet Boxers contests in DC. Perhaps we should.
I’m glad I met up with Jade. He has certainly kept me out of trouble! Not that I would get INTO trouble, but there are lots of cute guys with great smiles and flirtatious eyes here, and , well, one of them might kidnap me or something. Hey, it could happen!!
Well, time to get about 6 hours sleep and do this all over again.
24 Feb 2001
Eddies and Currents
I’m a believer in free will. But every now and then, free will gets a little nudge. We’re all awash in eddies and currents, and occasionally they bump us into each other.
Case in point…
I had trouble sleeping Friday night, so when the alarm went off Saturday I hit the snooze button one time too many. Realizing I was running late, and would really have to rush to make it to the conference on time, I checked the lineup of the panel I was planning to sit in on. I realized that, of the 5 papers being presented, I was only interested in 1 of them, and I decided I could probably get that at the Paper Drop, and if not, no big deal (the Paper Drop is a huge room that contains copies of the papers being presented, which can be bought for a dollar).
So I wander leisurely over to the conference, and I get into the Paper Drop just as it opens. I grab the one I’m looking for, and see another that looks interesting, but before I leave I decide to just look around and see if anything catches my eye. Considering there’re nearly 2,000 papers being delivered here, there’s no way I’ll look at all of them, but I’ll check out a few.
After a while I’m ready to go, so I stop off at the front desk to pay for the ones I’m getting. As I pay the nice lady, and am preparing to walk out, I glance up.
Into the room walks one of my best friends from high school. I haven’t seen him, or even talked to him, in 15 years.
Now, that’s just bizarre. If I hadn’t hit the snooze button that one extra time, or checked the schedule one last time, I would’ve been in a panel discussion instead of the Paper Drop. If I hadn’t decided to look around, or if I had left the room 30 seconds earlier, I never would’ve seen him.
It’s almost enough to make you believe in fate.
Almost.
Either way, I’m ready to go home Sunday. This weather is nasty.
25 Feb 2001
This is your Captain speaking...
...just wanted to let you know we're screwed.
1pm (Central Time): Arrive at Midway Airport in Chicago for a 2:10pm departure for a 1 hour, 17 minute flight to Washington DC Reagan National Airport, with scheduled arrival at 5:00pm Eastern time.
1:45pm: board plane.
2:30pm: Captain reports they've finished their paperwork, prepared cabin for departure.
2:32pm: Captain reports that air traffic control has stopped all flights headed for DC National from taking off because of low clouds at National. Expected delay of 1 hour, but the Captain thinks we'll get off the ground sooner.
3:32pm: we continue to wait, in the plane, on the ground.
3:45pm: Captain reports flights have resumed for DC National, but the air traffic system is backed up, so we have to wait. Flight attendants serve orange juice and Coke (not mixed together).
4:00pm: Captain reports we have clearance, Clarence (roger Roger, what's out vector, Victor?). Flight attendants collect all remaining cups, and seats and tray tables go upright again.
4:10pm: we get off the ground. Flight attendants serve drinks (not free -- they're smarter than that)
5:45pm (Eastern Time): Captain reports that DC National is having major problems and we will hold for a while so they can decide whether we go to National or divert to Dulles. He bets we divert to Dulles. We begin to make big slow circles as the sun goes down. Poetic, in a way.
6:10pm: Captain reports we are headed for Dulles. We already assumed that.
6:45pm: enroute to Dulles Airport, I notice a helluva lot of other planes headed the same way. Realize that all the flights headed to National are now coming to Dulles. It's a race to see who gets there first.
7:00pm: we land at Dulles. Taxi for 15 minutes to a large open area far from any gates. Captain reports that no one knows yet how we are getting to National Airport. I figure I will simply take the shuttle bus to the Metro and jump on the train rather than going all the way to National, and THEN taking the Metro home.
7:05pm: it begins to dawn on some passengers that the airline does not normally fly to Dulles, so there is no staff here to meet us and make arrangements.
7:06pm: begin to notice all the other planes parking behind us.
7:07pm: begin to notice there are no steps for getting out of the plane.
7:08pm: see aircraft from airlines that fly only to Baltimore-Washington International Airport. Realize that BWI is also closed, and THEIR traffic is diverting here as well.
7:20pm: Captain reports that the buses bringing the Chicago-bound passengers from National Airport will be used to cart this crowd back over there. Still no steps.
7:40pm: Scurvy breaks out. I eat a lemon.
7:45pm: Captain reports a "people-mover" is coming to take passengers off plane. I realize they only hold about 100 people, whereas there are 200 on board. I choose not to say anything.
8:00pm: the first "people mover" arrives and Captain reports it only holds about 100. A second is right behind it.
8:15pm: I arrive at the terminal. Begin calling friends to determine if anyone has shown up at my place for Sunday night TV. I finally reach Arlington Michael. He offers to come pick me up. I tell him he can have my body.
8:40pm: still no sign of our luggage.
8:45pm: Airport Police arrive and quell an impending riot. They report that there is no one to take our luggage off the plane, but they are working something out with a private company to take care of the plane. And the buses came with the Chicago-bound passengers, but did not stay to take the new arrivals back to National. Oops.
8:56pm: River leaves a message on my cell phone. He is bar-hopping with a friend, and drunk off his ass.
9:00pm: Michael arrives just as parents begin eating their young. Our bags begin to arrive.
9:20pm: My bag finally shows up. We depart.
10:05pm: we arrive at my place in time for most of Queer As Folk. I have 8 phone messages since 2pm today. 2 are from Tracy; he had gone to National to pick me up. Damn. THAT'S incredibly sweet, so naturally, my plane didn't go there. 4 hours later, still not having heard from me, he calls again, worried. I call later and tell him what happened.
11:30pm: Pizza arrives. First thing I've eaten since a cinammon roll 12 hours ago. Pizza Hut Meat Lover's. Yum.
11:40pm: talk to Adrian. getting sleepy. Time for bed. After a journal entry.
But hey...we made it home safe. That's all that metters.
26 Feb 2001
Lazy Monday
Lazy, lazy day. Actually, lazy, lazy Bill.
I think I was still kinda wiped from yesterday's travel adventures. No big deal, though, as I got a lot of work done on the plane. I'm caught up on my reading for the classes I missed last week (which were cancelled anyway by the astounding 3-inch-snow-storm) and I've got most of this week's done. I have to put together a paper proposal for Wednesday's class, and work on a new outline for my Ethics paper (since I got the "interesting, but what does this have to do with ethics?" comment on my first attempt). My experiences at the conference last week gave me great ideas for a couple papers that will contribute later to my dissertation.
Talked to Tracy and Adrian today, haven't been able to reach Andy or River. Sounds like everyone had a fun weekend without me, though, which isn't supposed to happen!
I finished up the redesign on the front page of my website today. Everyone should click on the banner below and check it out!!! OK, it's just one page, there'll be some more redesign on the rest of the site. But that probably won't happen until I have a paper due in 72 hours and am looking for a distraction. =)
Oh, and the cable people apparently called twice while I was gone. No message, just a Caller ID indication. But my box still isn't working. Damn them anyway.
I'm off to pick up Adrian at work and go to Cafe Asia. I am jonesin' for some sushi. (is that proper English? I doubt it.)
28 Feb 2001
Chu Hoi
Chu hoi is what I said last night as I tried to update my journal. I am finally realizing that my ISP is going to go down on me (and not in the fun way, either) every night around midnight. Maybe they're doing maintenance. Maybe everybody in the DC area is trying to logon then, thinking no one else is. Maybe the whole world goes into suspended animation except me (a la X-Files, or maybe a bad episode of Three's Company) and so I can't get onto the Web. Or maybe, just maybe, it's somebody's way of telling me to go to bed sooner.
Incidentally, chu hoi is Vietnamese for I surrender. I picked it up from my dad. It's the only Vietnamese I know. Well, actually, I also know the name of a decent Vietnamese beer. But so far, that's it. So it's time to learn something new. Last night at the Java Shack I had a really good talk with Kenneth (we pretty much had the place to ourselves for an hour) and he explained some things about the Vietnamese language to me. He tried to teach me a couple phrases, but the accents and inflections are very important, and I wasn't getting them quite right, so he may be too frustrated to teach me any more. =) But I want to at least learn some phrases. And the other day, I came across a book, Conversational Thai in Seven Days. I may give that a try.
Why the interest in Asian languages? Well, primarily, because in the last week I've been with people who suddenly break into Laotian, Vietnamese, and Thai, and in addition to finding a second language very erotic (especially the way an Asian language flows, compared to the rougher tones of a European language) I have realized that I've spent a lot of time in the last 35 years looking at European cultures, but learning little about Asian cultures. I've never been to Asia, and until moving here, didn't really have that many friends who'd been born in Asia and emigrated here. But DC has a large Asian population (and Arlington has a big Southeast Asian influence) and I see this as an opportunity to learn about something new. Well, new to me, anyway.
I'm pretty much caught up on schoolwork following my Chicago experience. All in all, the Chicago trip was okay, but not great. It was useful professionally, but when I travel on business I generally try to spend more time getting to know the city, too. This time, between work, the weather, and the need to meet up with (straight) colleagues from across the country, I didn't really have the chance to explore. But that's OK.
'Cuz I'm leaving for London in two days. =)
