Thursday, March 01, 2001
February 2001
1 Feb 2001
Going down. And not in the good way.
I'm not sure what it is. Things seemed to be going just fine today, pretty much normal. I had a lot of reading to do for class tonight, but I managed to get it done, and even snuck in a meeting with my advisor that went really well.
But at some point tonight I just started feeling down. The drive home from school was no fun at all.
I was feeling kind of disappointed in some of my classes this semester, and I haven't been too pleased with my own performance to date. But I'm not sure if that's the problem, or if I'm just feeling that way because I'm down for other reasons.
My gym schedule has been totally messed up, and I haven't even done cardio since Tuesday, or weights since last week. Could that be it? Is it a physical thing? Or am I just upset with myself for not scheduling the time to go to the gym, perhaps demonstrating that I don't have the self-discipline that I thought I had?
Perhaps it's cyclical, and a couple of my biorythms are just bottoming out right now.
Maybe it's because Friday is Imbolc, the Wiccan sabbat that comes midway between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox, a time that is thought of in terms of "light without heat," a period in which we are buried by the cold (and let's face it, I'm not a big "winter" person).
Or is it possible that that's all bullshit and I'm just tired and need to go to bed? Actually, that's probably it, so I think I'll get some sleep and tackle things anew tomorrow.
I hate Thursdays. My longest day of the week.
(Actually, it's probably because I haven't heard from Mirza in 2 days. He's my 'Net friend in Singapore, but he just got home after a couple weeks away on business, and he and his lover have some catching up to do. But I'm so used to having an e-mail from him each morning, and now my routine is all messed up!)
2 Feb 2001
MUCH better!
OK, I don't what was up with me Thursday night, but Friday made me feel a LOT better. About 11am I got a call from Richmond Michael, who was up in DC for the day. He was headed to NYC tonight with a friend, but had nothing to do until then, and was hoping to drop by. Considering we hadn't seen each other since before Christmas, that sounded like a great idea!!
Mikey got here a little before noon, and we hung out and talked for about an hour before heading down to a good little Thai place for lunch (he had never had Thai food before). He stayed until about 3:30, when he had to go meet his friend. Mikey is in school (Cisco Networking school) and is still working retail while doing some consulting work for an information technology firm in New York. Not bad for an 18-year old!!! Oh, and by the way: he's featured in an article in the current issue of Joey magazine. Be sure to check it out!
So that was just what the doctor ordered for me: a surprise visit from a wonderful friend whom I hadn't seen in weeks.
Then, an hour after he left, Andy stopped by. And then tonight, River and I tried to go to a movie that was sold out, so ended up going out for coffee for a couple hours. I guess the universe heard that I was feeling a little down, so it sent some of my really good friends to make me feel better. And they did!!
Now, if I can just keep from getting sick (my throat is a little sore) I'll be okay.
I looked over the rest of the semester's assignments today. I think I can handle the big assignments with no problem: I've got a good idea for each of my three big papers, and all of them will relate to my dissertation. It's the weekly reading that's tripping me up. Each week it takes a lot longer than I expect. And there's a lot of "recommended" reading I haven't even touched yet.
But I talked to my advisor yesterday, and she thinks I'm in good shape. So I refuse to worry about it.
Of course, the best thing is that my local NPR station is about to end their winter pledge drive. Finally! I recently set my clock radio to NPR so I wake up to the news in the morning. The problem is, I drift off again when the local announcers come on, so there have been pledge drives in my dreams. And that just can't be good.
3 Feb 2001
Lazy Saturday
Sleeping late
Good coffee
Bitter cold
New shoes
Reading for school
E-mails from Fabian and Scooter
An e-card from Mirza
Surfing the Web for spring break info
Going to see Kenneth's play again
Virginia playing Wake Forest tonight
Not a bad way to spend the day
5 Feb 2001
Leaving on a jet plane...
The last few days have been all about travel. I haven't actually done any of it yet, mind you, but the plans have been made.
Last week I got approval from school to use some leftover funding to attend a conference in Chicago later this month. I'll be there for 5 days; I think it'll be more than a little fun. NOT ONLY will the conference be really interesting, and NOT ONLY will one of my really good friends (and future boss, and co-editor on our forthcoming book) be there, BUT ALSO I have never been to Chicago, so I am looking forward to checking out a new place.
Speaking of new places...I haven't been to L.A. since before I came out. I'll bet it's changed a bit since then; I know I certainly have. Anyway, River is going home for a visit this spring and wanted to show me around L.A., so...we're going for a week over Memorial Day. Yay!!! I'm going to see a side of L.A. that I never got to see before. And it will see a side of me as well.
And I'll get to see my friend Peter. He doesn't even know about this yet. Unless he's reading my journal. Then I'll bet he knows. 'cuz I just gave it away.
I have to say this: I am really happy that River and I have remained such good friends after breaking off our relationship last month. The thing I was most afraid of, when I felt we just weren't right for each other romantically, was that he and I would go our seperate ways. That hasn't happened; if anything, we're becoming better friends.
But that's not all the travel yet...
...'cuz in March, I'm going back to ENGLAND AND SCOTLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just made all my plans today. My favorite B&B has room for me, and I was able to get a decent airfare, so I'm heading back to Britain this year. Last year I experienced London and Edinburgh; this year, I'm going to take day trips out of London (most likely to Stonehenge/Bath, Stratford-on-Avon, and Bristol) and visit Glasgow, Scotland, for a couple days. I can't wait!!!! I had such a good time over there last year, and I'm curious to see if this visit can top my last one.
Other than making travel plans, my weekend was pretty slow. Sunday I talked Tracy into going shopping with me as I looked for a new watch. Naturally, I didn't find one, but he did. Frankly, I think he just wanted an excuse to talk to the cute salesclerk. Then we accidentally wandered into a Structure store to do a little looking around, not at the clothes, but at all the cute gayboys looking at the clothes. You couldn't swing a dead Nazi without hitting a cute boy. There was more cruising going on there than at Badlands after Last Call.
Adrian and I didn't make it to Kenneth's play Saturday, as Adrian wasn't able to get out of work until too late. Alas. Next weekend is the closing show, so I think he's going to take the day off so we can make it.
Then of course Sunday night was TV night. Andy, River, and Adrian came over. I was a little disappointed in X-Files (as I've been all season). They promised us Mulder; well, David Duchovny had no lines, and there were too many loose ends in the show, and I honestly think the Lone Gunmen were used just to advertise their upcoming spinoff. Hopefully the rest of the "sweeps month" episodes will be better.
And of course, QAF was good. I am really enjoying that show.
Today I ran downtown to take Adrian a card at work. He was not having a good evening last night, and I think the stress of having either work or school or both 7 days a week is starting to catch up with him. I'm trying to give him some space in which to chill out, so hopefully things will calm down and he can get through the next 6 months okay, after which he'll be finished with school.
And finally...I still think the teachers on Boston Public don't spend nearly enough time teaching. I mean, were any of them teaching at any point in tonight's episode? NO. I swear, when I get out of school and get back to teaching, I'm going to see if I can spend all of my time sleeping with students and solving murders, too.
6 Feb 2001
ring ring
Sometimes the phone rings at the MOST inopportune moments. You know who you are.
It is late. I am tired.
For my homework on Wednesday I have to go to a Senate committee hearing. So I better go iron a shirt.
I am REALLY tired.
My friend Douglas has an ad up on PlanetOut. I stumbled across it today (don't ask how). But if anyone in Denver is looking to meet a wonderful guy, go look for it.
Damn, I'm tired.
I have decided to use my web design skills for good rather than evil. So I am helping to redesign my department's website. They had everything up on one page...just a little bit of overkill. I will say, though, that simple web page designs should be done by one person at a time. Having two people sitting in front of the computer is just asking for trouble.
How did I get to be so tired tonight?
(There were two paragraphs here that dealt with Ronald Reagan and Alzheimer's Disease. I was making a joke at his expense, and even though Reagan did some things that put him beyond pity, I don't want to score any "bad karma" points. So, for once, I have gone back and edited myself. Tonight, I will think some good thoughts about him, but I will also remember that he denied the threat posed by AIDS for a number of years, setting back treatment and research by a lot.)
Hey, here's a thought: if I'm so tired, maybe I should go to bed.
7 Feb 2001
Bill = Lazy
Have you ever noticed that if you rearrange the letters in my name, and then change some of them, it spells "lazy"?
I got up this morning to go up to Capitol Hill. But a quick check of the C-SPAN schedule showed me that the hearing I was rushing to see this morning would be televised tonight. So I stayed home and did homework in my underwear, then taped the hearing tonight for later viewing. I figured there was no sense in getting all dressed up, then spending the commuting time there and back. And I got some good studying done today, too.
One thought that is becoming regular every Wednesday: master's and doctoral students just don't mix. I have a class with 10 master's students and only 2 of us in a doctoral program, and this class really isn't designed for us. It's not a question of being smarter or better educated, it's just that different levels of students are looking for different educational experiences in their classes. Master's students are trying to "master" a specific subject, while doctoral students look at a narrow field within a much larger context. Unfortunately, rather than bringing the master's students "up" to our level, the other doctoral-type-person and I are feeling really limited.
I don't want to say the class is a waste of time. But it's close. And I don't care for the fact that the instructor doesn't have a PhD. Would you take driver's ed from a teacher who didn't have a driver's license?
Alas, I'm being crabby tonight. I think I'm just tired again. Of course, if I wouldn't stay up past 1am...anyway, today was a pretty good day, as I talked to Tom, had e-mails back and forth with Ricky, Paul, and Douglas, talked to Tracy, saw Kenneth, got my airline tickets for London and LA, and finally saw some of River's sketches. So yeah, once you look at everything, this was a good day after all.
Oh, and the weather was pretty nice, too. Yay!
8 Feb 2001
hee hee look at me
OK, so,...
A couple weeks ago, I got my hair cut a little differently...
Now, if you don't know me, this doesn't look like any big deal, but if you DO know me, you know this looks a lot different.
Ever since then, I've been getting comments on it. From friends. From strangers on the street. From checkout clerks at the grocery store. From women at school. From folks who see it on my webcam.
Comments ranging from "wow" to "it makes you look 10 years younger" to "I would, like, totally DO you now." (OK, no one actually said that, but I know that's what this one girl at school was thinking)
I generally don't get wrapped up in my looks. What I mean is, I don't think my looks are my best feature. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm ugly or I hate my body or anything, but I think that when people are attracted to me, it's not my looks that they're after, but something else. People who think I'm attractive have usually gotten to know me first.
So as a result, I don't spend a lot on clothes or my hair. And when people actually come up and say something to me, it's a surprise.
And I think I kinda like it.
So thanks, Adrian, for trying something new. I guess that stylist school you're going to is working.
Tomorrow's entry will be far less shallow. But I just wanted to share that.
THE 2002 WINTER OLYMPIC GAMES BEGIN ONE YEAR FROM TODAY!!!!
And I have tickets! Nyah nyah nyah!!!
9 Feb 2001
Wahoowa
My college roommate came over tonight. Dave has been in town this week to help his dad get through some surgery. He's headed back this weekend, and our schedules didn't match up too well before today, but we finally got together.
It was wonderful to see him again. It's been about 7 months, and I was just sorry that the other Aristocrats in the DC area couldn't join us (too bad for you, Eric and Greg!). We downed some wine, pulled out some college photos, and he explained to me how he's managed to lose so much weight and build up so much muscle since the last time I saw him. (or, as Dave put it, "you'd want to do me if I shaved my legs and buttered them up." I'm not quite sure what that meant, but it sounded interesting!!)
I intoduced Dave to his wife-to-be when he visited me in Colorado once. She was hitting on me in a vclub (say what you will, Paula, you know you were!!) and, being gay, I decided to give her number to Dave. Today they are married. Funny how things work out.
I miss Dave, and he is one of the reasons I will enjoy being back in Colorado after I graduate.
And I bought a digital camera today, so now maybe I can finally get a picture of Dave up on my website.
Here's a hint: if you're going to use a translation website to write an e-mail in a different language, take the translated version and translate it back to English. You might be surprised by what you get. I tried to write a letter in Chinese to Mirza over in Singapore, and it was VERY weird by the time it got translated. I sent him the original English version, too, just so he could compare.
I generally don't go out of my way to get to know someone on the Net unless I think there's a good chance we'll meet up someday. Mirza and I have been e-maling each other almost every day, and have gotten to know some interesting things about each other. I hope he realizes this means that I'll be showing up in Singapore someday!!!
And there are a few other folks out there who better have the guest room ready, too...
10 Feb 2001
Cheers, mates
This story from the New York Times highlights one more reason that I think Brits are cool.
Huah. And if you don't know what that means, go ask a soldier. Except in THIS country, the policy is not to ask.
I got no work done today, but that's okay, since I spent the afternoon hanging out with Steve. (and now that I have a digital camera, I'll finally be able to put up a photo of him!) We went out to lunch, had horrible service at Cafe Asia (for the first time), saw cute boys at Cafe Asia (NOT for the first time!), came back and got caught up on what's going on with each other. I usually see Steve at least once a week, when a group comes over here for Sunday night TV, but we really don't get to talk much then. And our school schedules have not been conducive to getting together. So it was fun to spend the day with him. He seems to be moving along pretty well in school, and work is going okay when he isn't busy overwriting the website, and all in all he seems to have your basic happy life.
Of course, ALL my friends have a happy life, 'cuz they know ME. :P
Tonight I'm going to see Kenneth's play again with Adrian (he was able to get off work this week, so we should be able to make it on time). This is the last performance of the play; I think Kenneth is going to be a little sad when it's over.
And then Sunday, I have to work. Or go to the opera. One or the other.
11 Feb 2001
Slithery?
Do you ever pay any attention to the moon? I do.
I'm not a Moonie, nor do I moon people. But I tend to follow the cycles of the moon, for a variety of reasons. So it was that I noticed the recent Lunar New Year, which is generally celebrated as Tet in the Vietnamese culture, and as Chinese New Year by...well, you can probably figure that one out.
Have you ever looked at the placemat that is common in so many Chinese restaurants that lists the various animals in the Chinese zodiac? You know, it tells you which calender years are the Year of the Rabbit, which are the Year of the Boar, and so forth. We are now in the Year of the Snake. 1966, which is the year I was born, is listed as the Year of the Horse. Thus, I always assumed I was a horse.
Until I realized that my birthday falls in mid-January. And the Lunar New Year comes in late January.
Which means I was born in the lunar year before the Year of the Horse. In other words...I'm actually a snake.
I realize this isn't the most earth-shattering revelation. It's not as if I suddenly learned I was adopted, or that my entire life is being broadcast to the world, like Jim Carrey in The Truman Show. (though, come to think of it, I do have a webcam...hmmmmmm)
But, having always read the horoscopes and character descriptions of the Horse, I was kinda curious what Snakes were supposed to be like. I came acrosss the following on a Chinese zodiac site:
Snakes possess a strong, charismatic presence, as the most beautiful women and most powerful men tend to be born under this sign. Snakes are endowed with wisdom and are born philosophers. They are deep thinkers, who like to ponder things, to assess and formulate their views and plan their moves well in advance, then persist till the bitter end. This no doubt helps them excel in business negotiations.
OK, so far I can't argue with any of this. "Deep thinkers" = doctoral student, no?
Those born in the year of the Snake are not likely to be bothered by money problems. The majority of Snakes are financially successful and fortunate enough to have what they need. However, their fortunes very much depend on their careful and considered judgement in financial matters. In truth, the Snake people should not gamble; they will come out poorer in the end.
I'm not a rich man, but I can't complain. I have what I need, and if it's not the fanciest stuff in the world, that's primarily because I'm a cheap bastard...I mean, "thrifty bastard." As for gambling, I learned long ago not to do that. After 4 visits to Las Vegas (always just passing through) and a few trips to horse tracks and to that little gas station on the state line where they sold lottery tix, I can definitely say that gambling is NOT going to leave me any richer.
Subtle, mysterious, intangible and enigmatic, there is an element of the shiftiness that surrounds the Snake personality and will have many a dark secret locked up with them. Their outwards calm never betrays what they feel. In fact, they can be quite callous when they want to achieve their own ends. They have no qualms about removing anyone who stands in their way, especially if that person happens to be the gullible Boar or the meek Rabbit.
This part is a little off, at least for me. I'll buy "subtle" and "mysterious," but I hope none of my friends would call me "shifty." I don't think I'm ever callous; if anything, friends say I'm too nice sometimes. So, Boars and Rabbits, come be my friend.
All Snakes have a sense of humour. Even during a crisis, or under extreme duress, they can still crack a joke to lighten the atmosphere. As a lover, they are the epitomy of eroticism and seductiveness. It is no coincidence that femme fatales are described as "serpentine" in so many different cultures. There is no shortage of l'homme fatales born under this sign either!
I'm funny and erotic. Wow, they hit the nail on the head with that one. I also checked a "love match" site, and found that if you put two snakes together, their combined eroticism will cause the roof to cave in. I will agree that that's the case.
In other news, I have a case study that's due on Thursday in my Organizational Theory class. You know what that means, right? Right!! It's time for me to do an update on my website. So stay tuned!!!
12 Feb 2001
In or out?
(After writing this entry, it was much longer than I expected. Deal with it.)
Okay, so, I finally managed to see last Thursday’s episode of Will and Grace (one thing I have learned as a grad student is that a VCR can be one of your best friends. So can free web porn). Anyway, there was something on the show that left me a little troubled. Will was dating a guy who had just gotten a new job as a TV sportscaster, and his newfound friend didn’t think he could be “out” at work and introduced Will to his boss as his brother. Will, refusing to be “forced back into the closet,” as he put it, grappled with the issue and then dumped him (taking Grace’s advice, though I’m not really sure how much of an expert a straight woman is on this sort of thing).
So, that got me to thinking: if you’re totally out, but your boyfriend (or girlfriend, for any lesbians who are reading this but who never send me e-mail or sign my guestbook) is in a situation where he doesn’t feel he can be totally out, like with family or with work...well, what do you do? Are you going to accept that as one aspect of the relationship and go forward, or are you going to quit seeing him?
My feeling on this is that not everyone can afford to be totally out. Sadly, discrimination still exists, and too many people feel that their professional options or family relations will be permanently damaged if they come out to everyone. So, as part of the cost of keeping that job or seeing their grandparents regularly, they feel there are some conditions in which they can’t come out.
Is this unique to gay people? No, but too many of us do tend to act as if it is. Every benefit in life comes with a cost. If you want to be in the military, you can’t tell you’re co-workers you’re gay. If you want to be a doctor, you have to give up a few years of your life to school and incur a great amount of debt. If you’re a fundamentalist Christian and are teaching in a public high school, you can’t preach the Gospel to your students no matter how much you think they need it. It’s all about keeping a good balance between your professional and personal lives.
Frankly, I wish people would try to keep their personal and professional lives a little more separate. I can’t tell you how sick I got in my last job of the co-worker in the cubicle across from me who called his wife 3 or 4 times a day. Listening to this 45-year old guy say “hey, darling” in a sickly sweet voice every day would’ve turned me gay if I wasn’t already. When someone’s wives and kids would stop by the office “just to say hi” it pretty much brought work to a halt. And office parties with kids...GRRRRRRRRRRRR.
I’ve talked about this with friends and read about it on message boards, and I’ve noticed something about the people who say “you should always be out to everyone!” They often (though by no means always) fall into one of the following categories:
They don’t have anything to lose anyway The 35-year old guy who’s been waiting tables since high school can probably get another job if he loses this one. The pediatrician who loses his practice because parents don’t want him seeing their kids anymore is a different story.
They haven’t hit the real world yet It’s one thing to say what others should do when you’re living at home and Mom and Dad are paying the bills. Things look a little different once you get out and are responsible for putting your own food on the table. (One thing I should say, though: most of the people I know or talk to who are still in high school or college seem to understand the need for occasional discretion, even if they don’t feel that need themselves. Generation Y seems to be pretty good at understanding perspectives different from their own, which is a pretty important social skill that I don’t think I had at that age.)
They’ve never lived anywhere but a big city Someplace like LA, San Francisco, DC, or New York not only has a diverse and more tolerant culture, it also is likely to have more opportunities if you should lose your current job. However, for the 80% of the gay population that has to live in the real world (okay, I’m exaggerating a bit here, but you know what I mean) things are a little different. The gay guy in NYC and the gay guy in Wyoming are living in two different worlds, not just two different time zones.
So, are you being a bad person if you aren’t out in all situations? I don’t think so. If you're able to be totally out in your job or with your family, then congratulations! (and remember all the folks who came before you who worked to make that possible!!!) And if you don't feel you can be out, then at least be honest with yourself and with the people closest to you. That's really the most important thing, right?
And that brings me back to Will and his boyfriend. If you’ve been watching Will and Grace you know that Will has had approximately 2.7 dates during the entire run of the show. Karen’s maid is getting more action than Will. If he’s happier being alone and totally “out and proud,” well, then he made the right choice. But it would be a shame if he were unhappy simply through an inability to understand someone else’s perspective.
None of this is to say we should just accept discrimination and go back into hiding. But there are many ways of fighting discrimination, and not all of them require an "I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it!" stance in the office.
You know, the nice thing about gay-themed TV shows isn’t just that they show straight people the differentiation among gay folks; they show us, too.
In other TV-related news, I unfortunately discovered that Comedy Central runs an hour’s worth of Kids in the Hall every afternoon. This is either going to hurt my GPA or limit my nap time.
Probably my GPA.
14 Feb 2001
Multinational, Multicultural, Multiolfactory
First, I'd like to thank Verizon DSL for being down last night so I couldn't make a journal entry. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.
One thing I really like about DC, and which I will miss in Colorado, is the multiethnic nature of my neighborhood and, frankly, of my whole life. Colorado has three cultures: Native Coloradoan, Hispanic, and Transplanted Californians. But here, I've got a little bit of everything.
Like the guy working at the new 7-Eleven around the corner. He proved very helpful last night. He was from a culture where they don't have a history of personal hygiene. (Arkansas, perhaps?) You know how they say not to go to the grocery store when you're hungry 'cuz you'll hang out and buy a lot? Not a problem for me! All I wanted to do was get out of there in a hurry!
But then there's the fun stuff. Like, at the Java Shack, I heard my Vietnamese friend Kenneth launch into Spanish with two women from Mexico. He later told me that he could teach me some Chinese. All this, and English, too. How cool is that?
And Adrian, who's Laotian, should be taking me to my favorite Thai restaurant and explaining dishes to me. Or fixing me some Laotian meals. Hint, hint.
I've gotten to know people around the world, too, like Ricky and Scooter in Canada, Fabian James in England, and of course, Mirza in Singapore. Mirza has really been an interesting influence on me, and a fairly strong one, too. I am really enjoying getting to know him and learning about Asian culture from someone who's there right now.
Next thing you know, I'LL start speaking a new language, too. Though I suppose I should master English, first.
15 Feb 2001
Who is this "Adrian"?
In the last couple of days, I've gotten approximately 17 messages (plus or minus 15) asking me who this "Adrian" is that I keep mentioning. He popped up out of the blue, and his photo's not up (yet) on the Friends page on my website. So, who is he?
Well, Adrian is the very sweet guy I've gone out with a few times during the last month. I actually met him on my birthday, when Kenneth and I were dancing at Velvet Nation. Kenneth knows him, and he started dancing with us, and after Kenneth wandered off somewhere, Adrian and I danced and talked most of the night. We exchanged numbers, I called him about a week later, and we've since gone to a couple plays, had dinner together, hung out and watched movies -- you know, normal "date" stuff.
He's working a lot, AND going to school (he's a UVA grad, and is now going to hairstylist school because he wants to open his own salon someday -- and THAT'S why he's the one who gave me my fun new haircut!). He really pushes himself, and I'm glad he wanted to make time in his life to get to know me, 'cuz he's pretty sweet.
And yes, we had a nice dinner on Valentine's Day. But V-Day itself wasn't a big special day; I think people who like each other should do fun, special stuff for each other ANY day.
So, that's Adrian. Now you know. =)
Thursday was a long day, but I managed to finish up my Org Theory case study for tonight. And it was pretty damned good, if I do say so myself. It addressed a topic that I'll probably focus on for my dissertation, so it was good practice.
Wednesday was REALLY interesting. I went to a seminar on the peace process in Bosnia that was held at the National War College (interesting irony, no?). Then, for my peacekeeping class Wednesday night, we had a speaker, the Bishop of Kosovo for the Orthodox Church. As the religious leader for the Serbs still in Kosovo, he is in the US to get the word out that the Serbs in Kosovo are being "ethnically cleansed" by the Kosovo Albanians, and KFOR (the NATO peace enforcement force) is not stopping it. To be honest, I think KFOR is doing more than he's giving them credit for. And while I can objectively look at the situation and say yes, KFOR should try harder to protect the Serbs from murder and kidnapping, I just can't get emotional over it. The Albanians are doing to the Serbs what the Serbs did to the Albanians. Maybe the Serbs should have thought of that a few years ago, eh?
And with THAT cheery thought, I'm off to bed. I have to go to Pennsylvania for the day on Friday. Lots of driving. Yay.
17 Feb 2001
Bartender, I'll have a Sweet Mirza on the Rocks
I could write about my trip to Pennsylvania yesterday with the frumpy housewife of a classmate who never shuts up and who embarrassed our department by arguing with 3 US ambassadors about how the State Department works, and who was about 3 minutes away from getting strangled by me on the drive back last night.
But this is a happy entry, so I won't.
Or I could write about how the guy that was driving realized he'd taken a wrong turn but was too proud to ask directions so he drove an hour out of the way while apparently hoping the Washington Monument would just suddenly pop up.
But, like I said, this is a happy entry, so I won't.
I could even write about going to see the film Chocolat with Adrian last night, which was an amazing film that made me feel really, really good.
But, even though this is a happy entry, that's not what I'm going to write about.
No, I'm going to write about a phone call I got this morning. A phone call from my 'Net friend, Mirza, who lives in Singapore.
Mirza had asked for my phone number a couple weeks ago and had warned me he might call sometime. When I answered this morning and heard someone with a British accent asking for me, I somehow knew it was him.
We talked for about 45 minutes. He hadn't been able to respond to my e-mails lately (though I got a very sweet note and photo from him on Valentines Day) and wanted to chat, so he called me. What was funny was that I almost wasn't here to take the call. I had thought about running over to Starbucks, but the wind was roaring so loudly I figured I'd just fix coffee here. I had planned to jump into the shower, but decided to read for a bit first. Either way, I would've missed him. So something caused me to decide against both those options.
Anyway, it was great to talk with him. Mirza is a wonderful study of personality contradictions. His dark side and his inner light are battling for dominance. He's a bad boy who makes you purr. The story of how he and his partner came together (Peter moved there from Canada to be with him) is a beautiful one. His willingness to say anything, his ability to share his inner thoughts simply with his tone of voice, and the way he kept referring to "you white guys" made it a great phone call.
I have a tendency not to get to know people on the 'Net unless I think there's a chance we might meet someday. I'm getting to know a few people online now with whom I at least have a chance of meeting sometime. Will Mirza and I ever meet? That's less likely. But I still wanted to get to know him after the first couple of e-mails, and after reading his poetry on his website. He was out of town on an assignment for work when we met up online, and today he thanked me for "keeping him company" and offering some distraction while he was away from home. Now that he's back, I expect him to come up with some new stories for me (and he already has!).
Thanks for calling, Sweet Mirza. More importantly, thanks for not calling collect!
18 Feb 2001
Someone needs to turn up the heat
Okay, I don't recall ordering a 33-degree day. I'd like to send it back and exchange it for a warmer one.
Today was mostly a work day. I finished a draft of a paper I need to turn in before leaving for Chicago. I should be able to complete the paper on Monday. The other big task I need to do is to finish reviewing the manuscript of a book another fellow and I are editing. We're sending it to the publisher next month, and my co-editor will be at the conference in Chicago, so I need to finish it and take it with me. I'm on page 18. It's 230 pages long. Oops.
Naturally, I have an appointment with the eye doctor on Moday, and he's going to dialate my pupils, leaving me unable to read for about 4 hours. What idiot scheduled that?
Oh, wait...I did. Never mind.
I got another cool phone call tonight. I just got off the phone with Peter in LA. Peter and I met up when I went to New Orleans for Southern Decadence in September. He is SUCH a sweet guy, and we've stayed in touch ever since. It was great to find such a nice soul in what was (for that weekend, anyway) a pretty trashy city (not that I mind a little trashiness every now and then).
Anyway, I look forward to seeing Peter when River and I go to LA in May. I'm just the traveling fool this year, no?
Andy, Michael, Steven and River came over for Sunday night TV. The Simpsons were great (I was thinking this wasn't one of their better seasons, but they've improved). It was nice to see David Duchovny on X-Files and get a few things explained; next week's show looks pretty good, too. And Queer as Folk was very good tonight. I found myself relating a little more to some of the characters than I have before. When the show started last year I wondered if I'd watch it just because it was gay. Now I know I'm watching it just because it's good.
20 Feb 2001
Sweet Home, Chicago
Greetings from the Windy City!!
Actually, it’s just the bitch-ass-cold city right now. But anyway, I’m in Chicago for the rest of the week for a conference. I've never been here before, plus I have some friends who are going to be at the conference, PLUS there’s going to be some VERY interesting stuff discussed here. And, even better, I’m not the one paying for it!
Monday night a group of us went out for a friend’s birthday dinner. We went to an Italian place where they serve “family style,” and they brought us WAY too much food. By the time we were done we understood why everyone we saw was leaving with a takeout bag. I brought some tiramisu home for Adrian, who was coming over after work. He was going to trim my hair last night so I’d look extra-good for my trip, but the poor boy had been on his feet all day and was exhausted. So we just hung out and watched TV and talked, and he’ll fix up my hair next Sunday. Hey, it looks great for now. =)
I’m going to head out and explore Chicago for a bit before I have to start actually doing something worthwhile tomorrow morning. I may not update every day; it depends on my Internet connectivity. But hopefully I’ll have some fun stories to put in here. (evil grin)
21 Feb 2001
I'm stuffed...I couldn't eat another bite (name that film!)
Dinner tonight was at Gene and Georgette’s, a VERY nice steakhouse. I figured I had to hit a Chicago steakhouse while I was here (though I could’ve done without the Chicago steakhouse prices -- yikes!). It was incredible -- I swear there was a whole cow on the plate. Actually, the T-bone steak DID cover the entire plate -- I’m glad I stuck with a filet.
On the whole the conference is going pretty well so far. I’ve met a couple interesting people who will be useful contacts as I work on my dissertation. I went to a panel discussion that consisted of a group of people I used to teach with (including my mentor, for whom I expect to be working once I graduate). I also left early during the last panel of the day because the presenters were incredibly boring and their papers made little sense (and, in one case, the paper was merely propaganda for a country in turmoil that shall remain nameless). Seeing that panel was good for me, though, ‘cuz it’s nice to know these guys were able to earn PhDs…that makes me a LOT more confident in my own ability!!!
I should mention that the temperature dropped from “bitch-ass-cold” to “could they move the conference to MY hotel so I don’t have to go outside.” But at least it looked nice outside. Thursday we’re supposed to get rain and snow. Oh yay.
I’m surrounded by colleges in this neighborhood. DePaul University is right here, as is the Art Institute of Chicago. Hmmm, lots of theater boys and artists running around. Ah, it’s a rough life being me.
Did I mention I caved in to the cable company’s persuasion and got digital cable for a one-month free trial? Did I mention that it has worked for a grand total of 17 minutes since I got it? Did I mention that before I left I couldn’t get in touch with the cable company to fix it because their lines were so clogged it was impossible to get through? Did I mention that when the digital cable goes, it takes all my cable with it? Did I mention that, if it’s not up Sunday night, me and the boys are going to be watching Queer as Folk sitting on my bed, since the TV in my bedroom is NOT infected by digital cable? Did I mention that, if Brian and Justin have a steamy sex scene, I really don’t need to be sitting on a bed with half a dozen cute guys? Oy. That digital box is going away as soon as I get back.
Wednesday night was a work night. I finished reviewing the manuscript for my terrorism book being published this spring. My co-editor is here from Colorado, and I needed to get the final copy to him, so I made sure I finished it tonight so I could play the rest of the week. I had been talking online with a local before coming here so I could find out where to go dancing, good coffeehouse, etc. Anyway, Jade (his name) offered to show me around, so we met up and got some coffee after I got here Tuesday, then he showed me around Boys Town and we ended up at a bar called Roscoe’s watching (bad) drag. This one drag queen came up to Jade and started talking to him. Jade told me later that he didn’t think he knew her. I pointed out that me might not know her but perhaps he knows him out of drag. Who knows. Anyway, he’s going to take me to see the Shower Contest at one of the bars Friday night.
And that’s all from Chicago. Fun despite the cold (they could sell t-shirts that say that).
22 Feb 2001
More wine!
Well, okay, not too much more wine, as I have work to do. But definitely more Thai food!! We found this great little Thai place around the corner from the conference center and have gone there the last two days…and will no doubt go again on Friday. That place is yummy.
Thursday was an interesting day. The department head for whom I’ll be teaching when I get back to Colorado was giving a presentation today. I hadn’t met him before, as he got to the school after I left. Following his presentation (where I asked the most insightful question of the day, not that I was trying to make a good first impression or anything) I went up to talk to him. He looked at my nametag and said “Hi, Bill, nice to meet you,” to which I replied, “Nice to meet you, and I’m looking forward to working for you in a couple years.” He got a confused look for a second then said “Oh, THAT Bill.” Somehow I always seem to be known as “THAT Bill” no matter where I go. Anyway, we had a good chat. The head of the political science department was with him, and my friend Jim told him what a great asset I’d make as a part time teacher in Poli Sci. Hmmm, a great asset. At first I thought he said I had a great ass. True, but not what I’d expect him to say. =)
We had snow this morning, but nothing like what they had in DC. Funny thing: I almost didn’t come on this trip, thinking that I really shouldn’t miss my classes on Thursday night. Well, due to the weather, they were cancelled anyway. Once again I made the right decision. I tend to do that, at least 10% of the time!
It’s supposed to snow in Chicago this weekend. Naturally, that’s when I plan to check out the city during the day. Also, I have to fly home Sunday. I’d really rather not have that delayed.
I went to dinner tonight with Jade. We went to a great Italian place in Boys Town. Actually, he was going to take me to the Southeast Asian restaurant where he works, but we decided we should eat somewhere other than the place where he eats at least one meal a day! The place we went to was really good; if I can remember the name, I’ll be sure to recommend it to my friends who visit here. Afterwards we went and got coffee, then stopped off at a couple bars: Spin and Lucky Horseshoe. Spin has a video room and a dance floor, and it was 80s night. Jade doesn’t really like 80s music, so we left pretty quick (I didn’t have the heart to remind him that that’s the music of MY era!). Then we went to Lucky Horseshoe for about 45 seconds. There are few things sadder than an empty strip club. Oh, well, at least I can cross those two off my list.
We ended up back at Roscoe’s where we shot some pool and then hung around for the Wet Boxers contest. How totally tacky; I loved it. The guys’ faces weren’t all that cute, but their wet boxers were, well, um…let’s just say, when I saw one of the guys, all I could think was OUCH. I don’t think we have Wet Boxers contests in DC. Perhaps we should.
I’m glad I met up with Jade. He has certainly kept me out of trouble! Not that I would get INTO trouble, but there are lots of cute guys with great smiles and flirtatious eyes here, and , well, one of them might kidnap me or something. Hey, it could happen!!
Well, time to get about 6 hours sleep and do this all over again.
24 Feb 2001
Eddies and Currents
I’m a believer in free will. But every now and then, free will gets a little nudge. We’re all awash in eddies and currents, and occasionally they bump us into each other.
Case in point…
I had trouble sleeping Friday night, so when the alarm went off Saturday I hit the snooze button one time too many. Realizing I was running late, and would really have to rush to make it to the conference on time, I checked the lineup of the panel I was planning to sit in on. I realized that, of the 5 papers being presented, I was only interested in 1 of them, and I decided I could probably get that at the Paper Drop, and if not, no big deal (the Paper Drop is a huge room that contains copies of the papers being presented, which can be bought for a dollar).
So I wander leisurely over to the conference, and I get into the Paper Drop just as it opens. I grab the one I’m looking for, and see another that looks interesting, but before I leave I decide to just look around and see if anything catches my eye. Considering there’re nearly 2,000 papers being delivered here, there’s no way I’ll look at all of them, but I’ll check out a few.
After a while I’m ready to go, so I stop off at the front desk to pay for the ones I’m getting. As I pay the nice lady, and am preparing to walk out, I glance up.
Into the room walks one of my best friends from high school. I haven’t seen him, or even talked to him, in 15 years.
Now, that’s just bizarre. If I hadn’t hit the snooze button that one extra time, or checked the schedule one last time, I would’ve been in a panel discussion instead of the Paper Drop. If I hadn’t decided to look around, or if I had left the room 30 seconds earlier, I never would’ve seen him.
It’s almost enough to make you believe in fate.
Almost.
Either way, I’m ready to go home Sunday. This weather is nasty.
25 Feb 2001
This is your Captain speaking...
...just wanted to let you know we're screwed.
1pm (Central Time): Arrive at Midway Airport in Chicago for a 2:10pm departure for a 1 hour, 17 minute flight to Washington DC Reagan National Airport, with scheduled arrival at 5:00pm Eastern time.
1:45pm: board plane.
2:30pm: Captain reports they've finished their paperwork, prepared cabin for departure.
2:32pm: Captain reports that air traffic control has stopped all flights headed for DC National from taking off because of low clouds at National. Expected delay of 1 hour, but the Captain thinks we'll get off the ground sooner.
3:32pm: we continue to wait, in the plane, on the ground.
3:45pm: Captain reports flights have resumed for DC National, but the air traffic system is backed up, so we have to wait. Flight attendants serve orange juice and Coke (not mixed together).
4:00pm: Captain reports we have clearance, Clarence (roger Roger, what's out vector, Victor?). Flight attendants collect all remaining cups, and seats and tray tables go upright again.
4:10pm: we get off the ground. Flight attendants serve drinks (not free -- they're smarter than that)
5:45pm (Eastern Time): Captain reports that DC National is having major problems and we will hold for a while so they can decide whether we go to National or divert to Dulles. He bets we divert to Dulles. We begin to make big slow circles as the sun goes down. Poetic, in a way.
6:10pm: Captain reports we are headed for Dulles. We already assumed that.
6:45pm: enroute to Dulles Airport, I notice a helluva lot of other planes headed the same way. Realize that all the flights headed to National are now coming to Dulles. It's a race to see who gets there first.
7:00pm: we land at Dulles. Taxi for 15 minutes to a large open area far from any gates. Captain reports that no one knows yet how we are getting to National Airport. I figure I will simply take the shuttle bus to the Metro and jump on the train rather than going all the way to National, and THEN taking the Metro home.
7:05pm: it begins to dawn on some passengers that the airline does not normally fly to Dulles, so there is no staff here to meet us and make arrangements.
7:06pm: begin to notice all the other planes parking behind us.
7:07pm: begin to notice there are no steps for getting out of the plane.
7:08pm: see aircraft from airlines that fly only to Baltimore-Washington International Airport. Realize that BWI is also closed, and THEIR traffic is diverting here as well.
7:20pm: Captain reports that the buses bringing the Chicago-bound passengers from National Airport will be used to cart this crowd back over there. Still no steps.
7:40pm: Scurvy breaks out. I eat a lemon.
7:45pm: Captain reports a "people-mover" is coming to take passengers off plane. I realize they only hold about 100 people, whereas there are 200 on board. I choose not to say anything.
8:00pm: the first "people mover" arrives and Captain reports it only holds about 100. A second is right behind it.
8:15pm: I arrive at the terminal. Begin calling friends to determine if anyone has shown up at my place for Sunday night TV. I finally reach Arlington Michael. He offers to come pick me up. I tell him he can have my body.
8:40pm: still no sign of our luggage.
8:45pm: Airport Police arrive and quell an impending riot. They report that there is no one to take our luggage off the plane, but they are working something out with a private company to take care of the plane. And the buses came with the Chicago-bound passengers, but did not stay to take the new arrivals back to National. Oops.
8:56pm: River leaves a message on my cell phone. He is bar-hopping with a friend, and drunk off his ass.
9:00pm: Michael arrives just as parents begin eating their young. Our bags begin to arrive.
9:20pm: My bag finally shows up. We depart.
10:05pm: we arrive at my place in time for most of Queer As Folk. I have 8 phone messages since 2pm today. 2 are from Tracy; he had gone to National to pick me up. Damn. THAT'S incredibly sweet, so naturally, my plane didn't go there. 4 hours later, still not having heard from me, he calls again, worried. I call later and tell him what happened.
11:30pm: Pizza arrives. First thing I've eaten since a cinammon roll 12 hours ago. Pizza Hut Meat Lover's. Yum.
11:40pm: talk to Adrian. getting sleepy. Time for bed. After a journal entry.
But hey...we made it home safe. That's all that metters.
26 Feb 2001
Lazy Monday
Lazy, lazy day. Actually, lazy, lazy Bill.
I think I was still kinda wiped from yesterday's travel adventures. No big deal, though, as I got a lot of work done on the plane. I'm caught up on my reading for the classes I missed last week (which were cancelled anyway by the astounding 3-inch-snow-storm) and I've got most of this week's done. I have to put together a paper proposal for Wednesday's class, and work on a new outline for my Ethics paper (since I got the "interesting, but what does this have to do with ethics?" comment on my first attempt). My experiences at the conference last week gave me great ideas for a couple papers that will contribute later to my dissertation.
Talked to Tracy and Adrian today, haven't been able to reach Andy or River. Sounds like everyone had a fun weekend without me, though, which isn't supposed to happen!
I finished up the redesign on the front page of my website today. Everyone should click on the banner below and check it out!!! OK, it's just one page, there'll be some more redesign on the rest of the site. But that probably won't happen until I have a paper due in 72 hours and am looking for a distraction. =)
Oh, and the cable people apparently called twice while I was gone. No message, just a Caller ID indication. But my box still isn't working. Damn them anyway.
I'm off to pick up Adrian at work and go to Cafe Asia. I am jonesin' for some sushi. (is that proper English? I doubt it.)
28 Feb 2001
Chu Hoi
Chu hoi is what I said last night as I tried to update my journal. I am finally realizing that my ISP is going to go down on me (and not in the fun way, either) every night around midnight. Maybe they're doing maintenance. Maybe everybody in the DC area is trying to logon then, thinking no one else is. Maybe the whole world goes into suspended animation except me (a la X-Files, or maybe a bad episode of Three's Company) and so I can't get onto the Web. Or maybe, just maybe, it's somebody's way of telling me to go to bed sooner.
Incidentally, chu hoi is Vietnamese for I surrender. I picked it up from my dad. It's the only Vietnamese I know. Well, actually, I also know the name of a decent Vietnamese beer. But so far, that's it. So it's time to learn something new. Last night at the Java Shack I had a really good talk with Kenneth (we pretty much had the place to ourselves for an hour) and he explained some things about the Vietnamese language to me. He tried to teach me a couple phrases, but the accents and inflections are very important, and I wasn't getting them quite right, so he may be too frustrated to teach me any more. =) But I want to at least learn some phrases. And the other day, I came across a book, Conversational Thai in Seven Days. I may give that a try.
Why the interest in Asian languages? Well, primarily, because in the last week I've been with people who suddenly break into Laotian, Vietnamese, and Thai, and in addition to finding a second language very erotic (especially the way an Asian language flows, compared to the rougher tones of a European language) I have realized that I've spent a lot of time in the last 35 years looking at European cultures, but learning little about Asian cultures. I've never been to Asia, and until moving here, didn't really have that many friends who'd been born in Asia and emigrated here. But DC has a large Asian population (and Arlington has a big Southeast Asian influence) and I see this as an opportunity to learn about something new. Well, new to me, anyway.
I'm pretty much caught up on schoolwork following my Chicago experience. All in all, the Chicago trip was okay, but not great. It was useful professionally, but when I travel on business I generally try to spend more time getting to know the city, too. This time, between work, the weather, and the need to meet up with (straight) colleagues from across the country, I didn't really have the chance to explore. But that's OK.
'Cuz I'm leaving for London in two days. =)
Going down. And not in the good way.
I'm not sure what it is. Things seemed to be going just fine today, pretty much normal. I had a lot of reading to do for class tonight, but I managed to get it done, and even snuck in a meeting with my advisor that went really well.
But at some point tonight I just started feeling down. The drive home from school was no fun at all.
I was feeling kind of disappointed in some of my classes this semester, and I haven't been too pleased with my own performance to date. But I'm not sure if that's the problem, or if I'm just feeling that way because I'm down for other reasons.
My gym schedule has been totally messed up, and I haven't even done cardio since Tuesday, or weights since last week. Could that be it? Is it a physical thing? Or am I just upset with myself for not scheduling the time to go to the gym, perhaps demonstrating that I don't have the self-discipline that I thought I had?
Perhaps it's cyclical, and a couple of my biorythms are just bottoming out right now.
Maybe it's because Friday is Imbolc, the Wiccan sabbat that comes midway between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox, a time that is thought of in terms of "light without heat," a period in which we are buried by the cold (and let's face it, I'm not a big "winter" person).
Or is it possible that that's all bullshit and I'm just tired and need to go to bed? Actually, that's probably it, so I think I'll get some sleep and tackle things anew tomorrow.
I hate Thursdays. My longest day of the week.
(Actually, it's probably because I haven't heard from Mirza in 2 days. He's my 'Net friend in Singapore, but he just got home after a couple weeks away on business, and he and his lover have some catching up to do. But I'm so used to having an e-mail from him each morning, and now my routine is all messed up!)
2 Feb 2001
MUCH better!
OK, I don't what was up with me Thursday night, but Friday made me feel a LOT better. About 11am I got a call from Richmond Michael, who was up in DC for the day. He was headed to NYC tonight with a friend, but had nothing to do until then, and was hoping to drop by. Considering we hadn't seen each other since before Christmas, that sounded like a great idea!!
Mikey got here a little before noon, and we hung out and talked for about an hour before heading down to a good little Thai place for lunch (he had never had Thai food before). He stayed until about 3:30, when he had to go meet his friend. Mikey is in school (Cisco Networking school) and is still working retail while doing some consulting work for an information technology firm in New York. Not bad for an 18-year old!!! Oh, and by the way: he's featured in an article in the current issue of Joey magazine. Be sure to check it out!
So that was just what the doctor ordered for me: a surprise visit from a wonderful friend whom I hadn't seen in weeks.
Then, an hour after he left, Andy stopped by. And then tonight, River and I tried to go to a movie that was sold out, so ended up going out for coffee for a couple hours. I guess the universe heard that I was feeling a little down, so it sent some of my really good friends to make me feel better. And they did!!
Now, if I can just keep from getting sick (my throat is a little sore) I'll be okay.
I looked over the rest of the semester's assignments today. I think I can handle the big assignments with no problem: I've got a good idea for each of my three big papers, and all of them will relate to my dissertation. It's the weekly reading that's tripping me up. Each week it takes a lot longer than I expect. And there's a lot of "recommended" reading I haven't even touched yet.
But I talked to my advisor yesterday, and she thinks I'm in good shape. So I refuse to worry about it.
Of course, the best thing is that my local NPR station is about to end their winter pledge drive. Finally! I recently set my clock radio to NPR so I wake up to the news in the morning. The problem is, I drift off again when the local announcers come on, so there have been pledge drives in my dreams. And that just can't be good.
3 Feb 2001
Lazy Saturday
Sleeping late
Good coffee
Bitter cold
New shoes
Reading for school
E-mails from Fabian and Scooter
An e-card from Mirza
Surfing the Web for spring break info
Going to see Kenneth's play again
Virginia playing Wake Forest tonight
Not a bad way to spend the day
5 Feb 2001
Leaving on a jet plane...
The last few days have been all about travel. I haven't actually done any of it yet, mind you, but the plans have been made.
Last week I got approval from school to use some leftover funding to attend a conference in Chicago later this month. I'll be there for 5 days; I think it'll be more than a little fun. NOT ONLY will the conference be really interesting, and NOT ONLY will one of my really good friends (and future boss, and co-editor on our forthcoming book) be there, BUT ALSO I have never been to Chicago, so I am looking forward to checking out a new place.
Speaking of new places...I haven't been to L.A. since before I came out. I'll bet it's changed a bit since then; I know I certainly have. Anyway, River is going home for a visit this spring and wanted to show me around L.A., so...we're going for a week over Memorial Day. Yay!!! I'm going to see a side of L.A. that I never got to see before. And it will see a side of me as well.
And I'll get to see my friend Peter. He doesn't even know about this yet. Unless he's reading my journal. Then I'll bet he knows. 'cuz I just gave it away.
I have to say this: I am really happy that River and I have remained such good friends after breaking off our relationship last month. The thing I was most afraid of, when I felt we just weren't right for each other romantically, was that he and I would go our seperate ways. That hasn't happened; if anything, we're becoming better friends.
But that's not all the travel yet...
...'cuz in March, I'm going back to ENGLAND AND SCOTLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just made all my plans today. My favorite B&B has room for me, and I was able to get a decent airfare, so I'm heading back to Britain this year. Last year I experienced London and Edinburgh; this year, I'm going to take day trips out of London (most likely to Stonehenge/Bath, Stratford-on-Avon, and Bristol) and visit Glasgow, Scotland, for a couple days. I can't wait!!!! I had such a good time over there last year, and I'm curious to see if this visit can top my last one.
Other than making travel plans, my weekend was pretty slow. Sunday I talked Tracy into going shopping with me as I looked for a new watch. Naturally, I didn't find one, but he did. Frankly, I think he just wanted an excuse to talk to the cute salesclerk. Then we accidentally wandered into a Structure store to do a little looking around, not at the clothes, but at all the cute gayboys looking at the clothes. You couldn't swing a dead Nazi without hitting a cute boy. There was more cruising going on there than at Badlands after Last Call.
Adrian and I didn't make it to Kenneth's play Saturday, as Adrian wasn't able to get out of work until too late. Alas. Next weekend is the closing show, so I think he's going to take the day off so we can make it.
Then of course Sunday night was TV night. Andy, River, and Adrian came over. I was a little disappointed in X-Files (as I've been all season). They promised us Mulder; well, David Duchovny had no lines, and there were too many loose ends in the show, and I honestly think the Lone Gunmen were used just to advertise their upcoming spinoff. Hopefully the rest of the "sweeps month" episodes will be better.
And of course, QAF was good. I am really enjoying that show.
Today I ran downtown to take Adrian a card at work. He was not having a good evening last night, and I think the stress of having either work or school or both 7 days a week is starting to catch up with him. I'm trying to give him some space in which to chill out, so hopefully things will calm down and he can get through the next 6 months okay, after which he'll be finished with school.
And finally...I still think the teachers on Boston Public don't spend nearly enough time teaching. I mean, were any of them teaching at any point in tonight's episode? NO. I swear, when I get out of school and get back to teaching, I'm going to see if I can spend all of my time sleeping with students and solving murders, too.
6 Feb 2001
ring ring
Sometimes the phone rings at the MOST inopportune moments. You know who you are.
It is late. I am tired.
For my homework on Wednesday I have to go to a Senate committee hearing. So I better go iron a shirt.
I am REALLY tired.
My friend Douglas has an ad up on PlanetOut. I stumbled across it today (don't ask how). But if anyone in Denver is looking to meet a wonderful guy, go look for it.
Damn, I'm tired.
I have decided to use my web design skills for good rather than evil. So I am helping to redesign my department's website. They had everything up on one page...just a little bit of overkill. I will say, though, that simple web page designs should be done by one person at a time. Having two people sitting in front of the computer is just asking for trouble.
How did I get to be so tired tonight?
(There were two paragraphs here that dealt with Ronald Reagan and Alzheimer's Disease. I was making a joke at his expense, and even though Reagan did some things that put him beyond pity, I don't want to score any "bad karma" points. So, for once, I have gone back and edited myself. Tonight, I will think some good thoughts about him, but I will also remember that he denied the threat posed by AIDS for a number of years, setting back treatment and research by a lot.)
Hey, here's a thought: if I'm so tired, maybe I should go to bed.
7 Feb 2001
Bill = Lazy
Have you ever noticed that if you rearrange the letters in my name, and then change some of them, it spells "lazy"?
I got up this morning to go up to Capitol Hill. But a quick check of the C-SPAN schedule showed me that the hearing I was rushing to see this morning would be televised tonight. So I stayed home and did homework in my underwear, then taped the hearing tonight for later viewing. I figured there was no sense in getting all dressed up, then spending the commuting time there and back. And I got some good studying done today, too.
One thought that is becoming regular every Wednesday: master's and doctoral students just don't mix. I have a class with 10 master's students and only 2 of us in a doctoral program, and this class really isn't designed for us. It's not a question of being smarter or better educated, it's just that different levels of students are looking for different educational experiences in their classes. Master's students are trying to "master" a specific subject, while doctoral students look at a narrow field within a much larger context. Unfortunately, rather than bringing the master's students "up" to our level, the other doctoral-type-person and I are feeling really limited.
I don't want to say the class is a waste of time. But it's close. And I don't care for the fact that the instructor doesn't have a PhD. Would you take driver's ed from a teacher who didn't have a driver's license?
Alas, I'm being crabby tonight. I think I'm just tired again. Of course, if I wouldn't stay up past 1am...anyway, today was a pretty good day, as I talked to Tom, had e-mails back and forth with Ricky, Paul, and Douglas, talked to Tracy, saw Kenneth, got my airline tickets for London and LA, and finally saw some of River's sketches. So yeah, once you look at everything, this was a good day after all.
Oh, and the weather was pretty nice, too. Yay!
8 Feb 2001
hee hee look at me
OK, so,...
A couple weeks ago, I got my hair cut a little differently...
Now, if you don't know me, this doesn't look like any big deal, but if you DO know me, you know this looks a lot different.
Ever since then, I've been getting comments on it. From friends. From strangers on the street. From checkout clerks at the grocery store. From women at school. From folks who see it on my webcam.
Comments ranging from "wow" to "it makes you look 10 years younger" to "I would, like, totally DO you now." (OK, no one actually said that, but I know that's what this one girl at school was thinking)
I generally don't get wrapped up in my looks. What I mean is, I don't think my looks are my best feature. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm ugly or I hate my body or anything, but I think that when people are attracted to me, it's not my looks that they're after, but something else. People who think I'm attractive have usually gotten to know me first.
So as a result, I don't spend a lot on clothes or my hair. And when people actually come up and say something to me, it's a surprise.
And I think I kinda like it.
So thanks, Adrian, for trying something new. I guess that stylist school you're going to is working.
Tomorrow's entry will be far less shallow. But I just wanted to share that.
THE 2002 WINTER OLYMPIC GAMES BEGIN ONE YEAR FROM TODAY!!!!
And I have tickets! Nyah nyah nyah!!!
9 Feb 2001
Wahoowa
My college roommate came over tonight. Dave has been in town this week to help his dad get through some surgery. He's headed back this weekend, and our schedules didn't match up too well before today, but we finally got together.
It was wonderful to see him again. It's been about 7 months, and I was just sorry that the other Aristocrats in the DC area couldn't join us (too bad for you, Eric and Greg!). We downed some wine, pulled out some college photos, and he explained to me how he's managed to lose so much weight and build up so much muscle since the last time I saw him. (or, as Dave put it, "you'd want to do me if I shaved my legs and buttered them up." I'm not quite sure what that meant, but it sounded interesting!!)
I intoduced Dave to his wife-to-be when he visited me in Colorado once. She was hitting on me in a vclub (say what you will, Paula, you know you were!!) and, being gay, I decided to give her number to Dave. Today they are married. Funny how things work out.
I miss Dave, and he is one of the reasons I will enjoy being back in Colorado after I graduate.
And I bought a digital camera today, so now maybe I can finally get a picture of Dave up on my website.
Here's a hint: if you're going to use a translation website to write an e-mail in a different language, take the translated version and translate it back to English. You might be surprised by what you get. I tried to write a letter in Chinese to Mirza over in Singapore, and it was VERY weird by the time it got translated. I sent him the original English version, too, just so he could compare.
I generally don't go out of my way to get to know someone on the Net unless I think there's a good chance we'll meet up someday. Mirza and I have been e-maling each other almost every day, and have gotten to know some interesting things about each other. I hope he realizes this means that I'll be showing up in Singapore someday!!!
And there are a few other folks out there who better have the guest room ready, too...
10 Feb 2001
Cheers, mates
This story from the New York Times highlights one more reason that I think Brits are cool.
Huah. And if you don't know what that means, go ask a soldier. Except in THIS country, the policy is not to ask.
I got no work done today, but that's okay, since I spent the afternoon hanging out with Steve. (and now that I have a digital camera, I'll finally be able to put up a photo of him!) We went out to lunch, had horrible service at Cafe Asia (for the first time), saw cute boys at Cafe Asia (NOT for the first time!), came back and got caught up on what's going on with each other. I usually see Steve at least once a week, when a group comes over here for Sunday night TV, but we really don't get to talk much then. And our school schedules have not been conducive to getting together. So it was fun to spend the day with him. He seems to be moving along pretty well in school, and work is going okay when he isn't busy overwriting the website, and all in all he seems to have your basic happy life.
Of course, ALL my friends have a happy life, 'cuz they know ME. :P
Tonight I'm going to see Kenneth's play again with Adrian (he was able to get off work this week, so we should be able to make it on time). This is the last performance of the play; I think Kenneth is going to be a little sad when it's over.
And then Sunday, I have to work. Or go to the opera. One or the other.
11 Feb 2001
Slithery?
Do you ever pay any attention to the moon? I do.
I'm not a Moonie, nor do I moon people. But I tend to follow the cycles of the moon, for a variety of reasons. So it was that I noticed the recent Lunar New Year, which is generally celebrated as Tet in the Vietnamese culture, and as Chinese New Year by...well, you can probably figure that one out.
Have you ever looked at the placemat that is common in so many Chinese restaurants that lists the various animals in the Chinese zodiac? You know, it tells you which calender years are the Year of the Rabbit, which are the Year of the Boar, and so forth. We are now in the Year of the Snake. 1966, which is the year I was born, is listed as the Year of the Horse. Thus, I always assumed I was a horse.
Until I realized that my birthday falls in mid-January. And the Lunar New Year comes in late January.
Which means I was born in the lunar year before the Year of the Horse. In other words...I'm actually a snake.
I realize this isn't the most earth-shattering revelation. It's not as if I suddenly learned I was adopted, or that my entire life is being broadcast to the world, like Jim Carrey in The Truman Show. (though, come to think of it, I do have a webcam...hmmmmmm)
But, having always read the horoscopes and character descriptions of the Horse, I was kinda curious what Snakes were supposed to be like. I came acrosss the following on a Chinese zodiac site:
Snakes possess a strong, charismatic presence, as the most beautiful women and most powerful men tend to be born under this sign. Snakes are endowed with wisdom and are born philosophers. They are deep thinkers, who like to ponder things, to assess and formulate their views and plan their moves well in advance, then persist till the bitter end. This no doubt helps them excel in business negotiations.
OK, so far I can't argue with any of this. "Deep thinkers" = doctoral student, no?
Those born in the year of the Snake are not likely to be bothered by money problems. The majority of Snakes are financially successful and fortunate enough to have what they need. However, their fortunes very much depend on their careful and considered judgement in financial matters. In truth, the Snake people should not gamble; they will come out poorer in the end.
I'm not a rich man, but I can't complain. I have what I need, and if it's not the fanciest stuff in the world, that's primarily because I'm a cheap bastard...I mean, "thrifty bastard." As for gambling, I learned long ago not to do that. After 4 visits to Las Vegas (always just passing through) and a few trips to horse tracks and to that little gas station on the state line where they sold lottery tix, I can definitely say that gambling is NOT going to leave me any richer.
Subtle, mysterious, intangible and enigmatic, there is an element of the shiftiness that surrounds the Snake personality and will have many a dark secret locked up with them. Their outwards calm never betrays what they feel. In fact, they can be quite callous when they want to achieve their own ends. They have no qualms about removing anyone who stands in their way, especially if that person happens to be the gullible Boar or the meek Rabbit.
This part is a little off, at least for me. I'll buy "subtle" and "mysterious," but I hope none of my friends would call me "shifty." I don't think I'm ever callous; if anything, friends say I'm too nice sometimes. So, Boars and Rabbits, come be my friend.
All Snakes have a sense of humour. Even during a crisis, or under extreme duress, they can still crack a joke to lighten the atmosphere. As a lover, they are the epitomy of eroticism and seductiveness. It is no coincidence that femme fatales are described as "serpentine" in so many different cultures. There is no shortage of l'homme fatales born under this sign either!
I'm funny and erotic. Wow, they hit the nail on the head with that one. I also checked a "love match" site, and found that if you put two snakes together, their combined eroticism will cause the roof to cave in. I will agree that that's the case.
In other news, I have a case study that's due on Thursday in my Organizational Theory class. You know what that means, right? Right!! It's time for me to do an update on my website. So stay tuned!!!
12 Feb 2001
In or out?
(After writing this entry, it was much longer than I expected. Deal with it.)
Okay, so, I finally managed to see last Thursday’s episode of Will and Grace (one thing I have learned as a grad student is that a VCR can be one of your best friends. So can free web porn). Anyway, there was something on the show that left me a little troubled. Will was dating a guy who had just gotten a new job as a TV sportscaster, and his newfound friend didn’t think he could be “out” at work and introduced Will to his boss as his brother. Will, refusing to be “forced back into the closet,” as he put it, grappled with the issue and then dumped him (taking Grace’s advice, though I’m not really sure how much of an expert a straight woman is on this sort of thing).
So, that got me to thinking: if you’re totally out, but your boyfriend (or girlfriend, for any lesbians who are reading this but who never send me e-mail or sign my guestbook) is in a situation where he doesn’t feel he can be totally out, like with family or with work...well, what do you do? Are you going to accept that as one aspect of the relationship and go forward, or are you going to quit seeing him?
My feeling on this is that not everyone can afford to be totally out. Sadly, discrimination still exists, and too many people feel that their professional options or family relations will be permanently damaged if they come out to everyone. So, as part of the cost of keeping that job or seeing their grandparents regularly, they feel there are some conditions in which they can’t come out.
Is this unique to gay people? No, but too many of us do tend to act as if it is. Every benefit in life comes with a cost. If you want to be in the military, you can’t tell you’re co-workers you’re gay. If you want to be a doctor, you have to give up a few years of your life to school and incur a great amount of debt. If you’re a fundamentalist Christian and are teaching in a public high school, you can’t preach the Gospel to your students no matter how much you think they need it. It’s all about keeping a good balance between your professional and personal lives.
Frankly, I wish people would try to keep their personal and professional lives a little more separate. I can’t tell you how sick I got in my last job of the co-worker in the cubicle across from me who called his wife 3 or 4 times a day. Listening to this 45-year old guy say “hey, darling” in a sickly sweet voice every day would’ve turned me gay if I wasn’t already. When someone’s wives and kids would stop by the office “just to say hi” it pretty much brought work to a halt. And office parties with kids...GRRRRRRRRRRRR.
I’ve talked about this with friends and read about it on message boards, and I’ve noticed something about the people who say “you should always be out to everyone!” They often (though by no means always) fall into one of the following categories:
They don’t have anything to lose anyway The 35-year old guy who’s been waiting tables since high school can probably get another job if he loses this one. The pediatrician who loses his practice because parents don’t want him seeing their kids anymore is a different story.
They haven’t hit the real world yet It’s one thing to say what others should do when you’re living at home and Mom and Dad are paying the bills. Things look a little different once you get out and are responsible for putting your own food on the table. (One thing I should say, though: most of the people I know or talk to who are still in high school or college seem to understand the need for occasional discretion, even if they don’t feel that need themselves. Generation Y seems to be pretty good at understanding perspectives different from their own, which is a pretty important social skill that I don’t think I had at that age.)
They’ve never lived anywhere but a big city Someplace like LA, San Francisco, DC, or New York not only has a diverse and more tolerant culture, it also is likely to have more opportunities if you should lose your current job. However, for the 80% of the gay population that has to live in the real world (okay, I’m exaggerating a bit here, but you know what I mean) things are a little different. The gay guy in NYC and the gay guy in Wyoming are living in two different worlds, not just two different time zones.
So, are you being a bad person if you aren’t out in all situations? I don’t think so. If you're able to be totally out in your job or with your family, then congratulations! (and remember all the folks who came before you who worked to make that possible!!!) And if you don't feel you can be out, then at least be honest with yourself and with the people closest to you. That's really the most important thing, right?
And that brings me back to Will and his boyfriend. If you’ve been watching Will and Grace you know that Will has had approximately 2.7 dates during the entire run of the show. Karen’s maid is getting more action than Will. If he’s happier being alone and totally “out and proud,” well, then he made the right choice. But it would be a shame if he were unhappy simply through an inability to understand someone else’s perspective.
None of this is to say we should just accept discrimination and go back into hiding. But there are many ways of fighting discrimination, and not all of them require an "I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it!" stance in the office.
You know, the nice thing about gay-themed TV shows isn’t just that they show straight people the differentiation among gay folks; they show us, too.
In other TV-related news, I unfortunately discovered that Comedy Central runs an hour’s worth of Kids in the Hall every afternoon. This is either going to hurt my GPA or limit my nap time.
Probably my GPA.
14 Feb 2001
Multinational, Multicultural, Multiolfactory
First, I'd like to thank Verizon DSL for being down last night so I couldn't make a journal entry. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.
One thing I really like about DC, and which I will miss in Colorado, is the multiethnic nature of my neighborhood and, frankly, of my whole life. Colorado has three cultures: Native Coloradoan, Hispanic, and Transplanted Californians. But here, I've got a little bit of everything.
Like the guy working at the new 7-Eleven around the corner. He proved very helpful last night. He was from a culture where they don't have a history of personal hygiene. (Arkansas, perhaps?) You know how they say not to go to the grocery store when you're hungry 'cuz you'll hang out and buy a lot? Not a problem for me! All I wanted to do was get out of there in a hurry!
But then there's the fun stuff. Like, at the Java Shack, I heard my Vietnamese friend Kenneth launch into Spanish with two women from Mexico. He later told me that he could teach me some Chinese. All this, and English, too. How cool is that?
And Adrian, who's Laotian, should be taking me to my favorite Thai restaurant and explaining dishes to me. Or fixing me some Laotian meals. Hint, hint.
I've gotten to know people around the world, too, like Ricky and Scooter in Canada, Fabian James in England, and of course, Mirza in Singapore. Mirza has really been an interesting influence on me, and a fairly strong one, too. I am really enjoying getting to know him and learning about Asian culture from someone who's there right now.
Next thing you know, I'LL start speaking a new language, too. Though I suppose I should master English, first.
15 Feb 2001
Who is this "Adrian"?
In the last couple of days, I've gotten approximately 17 messages (plus or minus 15) asking me who this "Adrian" is that I keep mentioning. He popped up out of the blue, and his photo's not up (yet) on the Friends page on my website. So, who is he?
Well, Adrian is the very sweet guy I've gone out with a few times during the last month. I actually met him on my birthday, when Kenneth and I were dancing at Velvet Nation. Kenneth knows him, and he started dancing with us, and after Kenneth wandered off somewhere, Adrian and I danced and talked most of the night. We exchanged numbers, I called him about a week later, and we've since gone to a couple plays, had dinner together, hung out and watched movies -- you know, normal "date" stuff.
He's working a lot, AND going to school (he's a UVA grad, and is now going to hairstylist school because he wants to open his own salon someday -- and THAT'S why he's the one who gave me my fun new haircut!). He really pushes himself, and I'm glad he wanted to make time in his life to get to know me, 'cuz he's pretty sweet.
And yes, we had a nice dinner on Valentine's Day. But V-Day itself wasn't a big special day; I think people who like each other should do fun, special stuff for each other ANY day.
So, that's Adrian. Now you know. =)
Thursday was a long day, but I managed to finish up my Org Theory case study for tonight. And it was pretty damned good, if I do say so myself. It addressed a topic that I'll probably focus on for my dissertation, so it was good practice.
Wednesday was REALLY interesting. I went to a seminar on the peace process in Bosnia that was held at the National War College (interesting irony, no?). Then, for my peacekeeping class Wednesday night, we had a speaker, the Bishop of Kosovo for the Orthodox Church. As the religious leader for the Serbs still in Kosovo, he is in the US to get the word out that the Serbs in Kosovo are being "ethnically cleansed" by the Kosovo Albanians, and KFOR (the NATO peace enforcement force) is not stopping it. To be honest, I think KFOR is doing more than he's giving them credit for. And while I can objectively look at the situation and say yes, KFOR should try harder to protect the Serbs from murder and kidnapping, I just can't get emotional over it. The Albanians are doing to the Serbs what the Serbs did to the Albanians. Maybe the Serbs should have thought of that a few years ago, eh?
And with THAT cheery thought, I'm off to bed. I have to go to Pennsylvania for the day on Friday. Lots of driving. Yay.
17 Feb 2001
Bartender, I'll have a Sweet Mirza on the Rocks
I could write about my trip to Pennsylvania yesterday with the frumpy housewife of a classmate who never shuts up and who embarrassed our department by arguing with 3 US ambassadors about how the State Department works, and who was about 3 minutes away from getting strangled by me on the drive back last night.
But this is a happy entry, so I won't.
Or I could write about how the guy that was driving realized he'd taken a wrong turn but was too proud to ask directions so he drove an hour out of the way while apparently hoping the Washington Monument would just suddenly pop up.
But, like I said, this is a happy entry, so I won't.
I could even write about going to see the film Chocolat with Adrian last night, which was an amazing film that made me feel really, really good.
But, even though this is a happy entry, that's not what I'm going to write about.
No, I'm going to write about a phone call I got this morning. A phone call from my 'Net friend, Mirza, who lives in Singapore.
Mirza had asked for my phone number a couple weeks ago and had warned me he might call sometime. When I answered this morning and heard someone with a British accent asking for me, I somehow knew it was him.
We talked for about 45 minutes. He hadn't been able to respond to my e-mails lately (though I got a very sweet note and photo from him on Valentines Day) and wanted to chat, so he called me. What was funny was that I almost wasn't here to take the call. I had thought about running over to Starbucks, but the wind was roaring so loudly I figured I'd just fix coffee here. I had planned to jump into the shower, but decided to read for a bit first. Either way, I would've missed him. So something caused me to decide against both those options.
Anyway, it was great to talk with him. Mirza is a wonderful study of personality contradictions. His dark side and his inner light are battling for dominance. He's a bad boy who makes you purr. The story of how he and his partner came together (Peter moved there from Canada to be with him) is a beautiful one. His willingness to say anything, his ability to share his inner thoughts simply with his tone of voice, and the way he kept referring to "you white guys" made it a great phone call.
I have a tendency not to get to know people on the 'Net unless I think there's a chance we might meet someday. I'm getting to know a few people online now with whom I at least have a chance of meeting sometime. Will Mirza and I ever meet? That's less likely. But I still wanted to get to know him after the first couple of e-mails, and after reading his poetry on his website. He was out of town on an assignment for work when we met up online, and today he thanked me for "keeping him company" and offering some distraction while he was away from home. Now that he's back, I expect him to come up with some new stories for me (and he already has!).
Thanks for calling, Sweet Mirza. More importantly, thanks for not calling collect!
18 Feb 2001
Someone needs to turn up the heat
Okay, I don't recall ordering a 33-degree day. I'd like to send it back and exchange it for a warmer one.
Today was mostly a work day. I finished a draft of a paper I need to turn in before leaving for Chicago. I should be able to complete the paper on Monday. The other big task I need to do is to finish reviewing the manuscript of a book another fellow and I are editing. We're sending it to the publisher next month, and my co-editor will be at the conference in Chicago, so I need to finish it and take it with me. I'm on page 18. It's 230 pages long. Oops.
Naturally, I have an appointment with the eye doctor on Moday, and he's going to dialate my pupils, leaving me unable to read for about 4 hours. What idiot scheduled that?
Oh, wait...I did. Never mind.
I got another cool phone call tonight. I just got off the phone with Peter in LA. Peter and I met up when I went to New Orleans for Southern Decadence in September. He is SUCH a sweet guy, and we've stayed in touch ever since. It was great to find such a nice soul in what was (for that weekend, anyway) a pretty trashy city (not that I mind a little trashiness every now and then).
Anyway, I look forward to seeing Peter when River and I go to LA in May. I'm just the traveling fool this year, no?
Andy, Michael, Steven and River came over for Sunday night TV. The Simpsons were great (I was thinking this wasn't one of their better seasons, but they've improved). It was nice to see David Duchovny on X-Files and get a few things explained; next week's show looks pretty good, too. And Queer as Folk was very good tonight. I found myself relating a little more to some of the characters than I have before. When the show started last year I wondered if I'd watch it just because it was gay. Now I know I'm watching it just because it's good.
20 Feb 2001
Sweet Home, Chicago
Greetings from the Windy City!!
Actually, it’s just the bitch-ass-cold city right now. But anyway, I’m in Chicago for the rest of the week for a conference. I've never been here before, plus I have some friends who are going to be at the conference, PLUS there’s going to be some VERY interesting stuff discussed here. And, even better, I’m not the one paying for it!
Monday night a group of us went out for a friend’s birthday dinner. We went to an Italian place where they serve “family style,” and they brought us WAY too much food. By the time we were done we understood why everyone we saw was leaving with a takeout bag. I brought some tiramisu home for Adrian, who was coming over after work. He was going to trim my hair last night so I’d look extra-good for my trip, but the poor boy had been on his feet all day and was exhausted. So we just hung out and watched TV and talked, and he’ll fix up my hair next Sunday. Hey, it looks great for now. =)
I’m going to head out and explore Chicago for a bit before I have to start actually doing something worthwhile tomorrow morning. I may not update every day; it depends on my Internet connectivity. But hopefully I’ll have some fun stories to put in here. (evil grin)
21 Feb 2001
I'm stuffed...I couldn't eat another bite (name that film!)
Dinner tonight was at Gene and Georgette’s, a VERY nice steakhouse. I figured I had to hit a Chicago steakhouse while I was here (though I could’ve done without the Chicago steakhouse prices -- yikes!). It was incredible -- I swear there was a whole cow on the plate. Actually, the T-bone steak DID cover the entire plate -- I’m glad I stuck with a filet.
On the whole the conference is going pretty well so far. I’ve met a couple interesting people who will be useful contacts as I work on my dissertation. I went to a panel discussion that consisted of a group of people I used to teach with (including my mentor, for whom I expect to be working once I graduate). I also left early during the last panel of the day because the presenters were incredibly boring and their papers made little sense (and, in one case, the paper was merely propaganda for a country in turmoil that shall remain nameless). Seeing that panel was good for me, though, ‘cuz it’s nice to know these guys were able to earn PhDs…that makes me a LOT more confident in my own ability!!!
I should mention that the temperature dropped from “bitch-ass-cold” to “could they move the conference to MY hotel so I don’t have to go outside.” But at least it looked nice outside. Thursday we’re supposed to get rain and snow. Oh yay.
I’m surrounded by colleges in this neighborhood. DePaul University is right here, as is the Art Institute of Chicago. Hmmm, lots of theater boys and artists running around. Ah, it’s a rough life being me.
Did I mention I caved in to the cable company’s persuasion and got digital cable for a one-month free trial? Did I mention that it has worked for a grand total of 17 minutes since I got it? Did I mention that before I left I couldn’t get in touch with the cable company to fix it because their lines were so clogged it was impossible to get through? Did I mention that when the digital cable goes, it takes all my cable with it? Did I mention that, if it’s not up Sunday night, me and the boys are going to be watching Queer as Folk sitting on my bed, since the TV in my bedroom is NOT infected by digital cable? Did I mention that, if Brian and Justin have a steamy sex scene, I really don’t need to be sitting on a bed with half a dozen cute guys? Oy. That digital box is going away as soon as I get back.
Wednesday night was a work night. I finished reviewing the manuscript for my terrorism book being published this spring. My co-editor is here from Colorado, and I needed to get the final copy to him, so I made sure I finished it tonight so I could play the rest of the week. I had been talking online with a local before coming here so I could find out where to go dancing, good coffeehouse, etc. Anyway, Jade (his name) offered to show me around, so we met up and got some coffee after I got here Tuesday, then he showed me around Boys Town and we ended up at a bar called Roscoe’s watching (bad) drag. This one drag queen came up to Jade and started talking to him. Jade told me later that he didn’t think he knew her. I pointed out that me might not know her but perhaps he knows him out of drag. Who knows. Anyway, he’s going to take me to see the Shower Contest at one of the bars Friday night.
And that’s all from Chicago. Fun despite the cold (they could sell t-shirts that say that).
22 Feb 2001
More wine!
Well, okay, not too much more wine, as I have work to do. But definitely more Thai food!! We found this great little Thai place around the corner from the conference center and have gone there the last two days…and will no doubt go again on Friday. That place is yummy.
Thursday was an interesting day. The department head for whom I’ll be teaching when I get back to Colorado was giving a presentation today. I hadn’t met him before, as he got to the school after I left. Following his presentation (where I asked the most insightful question of the day, not that I was trying to make a good first impression or anything) I went up to talk to him. He looked at my nametag and said “Hi, Bill, nice to meet you,” to which I replied, “Nice to meet you, and I’m looking forward to working for you in a couple years.” He got a confused look for a second then said “Oh, THAT Bill.” Somehow I always seem to be known as “THAT Bill” no matter where I go. Anyway, we had a good chat. The head of the political science department was with him, and my friend Jim told him what a great asset I’d make as a part time teacher in Poli Sci. Hmmm, a great asset. At first I thought he said I had a great ass. True, but not what I’d expect him to say. =)
We had snow this morning, but nothing like what they had in DC. Funny thing: I almost didn’t come on this trip, thinking that I really shouldn’t miss my classes on Thursday night. Well, due to the weather, they were cancelled anyway. Once again I made the right decision. I tend to do that, at least 10% of the time!
It’s supposed to snow in Chicago this weekend. Naturally, that’s when I plan to check out the city during the day. Also, I have to fly home Sunday. I’d really rather not have that delayed.
I went to dinner tonight with Jade. We went to a great Italian place in Boys Town. Actually, he was going to take me to the Southeast Asian restaurant where he works, but we decided we should eat somewhere other than the place where he eats at least one meal a day! The place we went to was really good; if I can remember the name, I’ll be sure to recommend it to my friends who visit here. Afterwards we went and got coffee, then stopped off at a couple bars: Spin and Lucky Horseshoe. Spin has a video room and a dance floor, and it was 80s night. Jade doesn’t really like 80s music, so we left pretty quick (I didn’t have the heart to remind him that that’s the music of MY era!). Then we went to Lucky Horseshoe for about 45 seconds. There are few things sadder than an empty strip club. Oh, well, at least I can cross those two off my list.
We ended up back at Roscoe’s where we shot some pool and then hung around for the Wet Boxers contest. How totally tacky; I loved it. The guys’ faces weren’t all that cute, but their wet boxers were, well, um…let’s just say, when I saw one of the guys, all I could think was OUCH. I don’t think we have Wet Boxers contests in DC. Perhaps we should.
I’m glad I met up with Jade. He has certainly kept me out of trouble! Not that I would get INTO trouble, but there are lots of cute guys with great smiles and flirtatious eyes here, and , well, one of them might kidnap me or something. Hey, it could happen!!
Well, time to get about 6 hours sleep and do this all over again.
24 Feb 2001
Eddies and Currents
I’m a believer in free will. But every now and then, free will gets a little nudge. We’re all awash in eddies and currents, and occasionally they bump us into each other.
Case in point…
I had trouble sleeping Friday night, so when the alarm went off Saturday I hit the snooze button one time too many. Realizing I was running late, and would really have to rush to make it to the conference on time, I checked the lineup of the panel I was planning to sit in on. I realized that, of the 5 papers being presented, I was only interested in 1 of them, and I decided I could probably get that at the Paper Drop, and if not, no big deal (the Paper Drop is a huge room that contains copies of the papers being presented, which can be bought for a dollar).
So I wander leisurely over to the conference, and I get into the Paper Drop just as it opens. I grab the one I’m looking for, and see another that looks interesting, but before I leave I decide to just look around and see if anything catches my eye. Considering there’re nearly 2,000 papers being delivered here, there’s no way I’ll look at all of them, but I’ll check out a few.
After a while I’m ready to go, so I stop off at the front desk to pay for the ones I’m getting. As I pay the nice lady, and am preparing to walk out, I glance up.
Into the room walks one of my best friends from high school. I haven’t seen him, or even talked to him, in 15 years.
Now, that’s just bizarre. If I hadn’t hit the snooze button that one extra time, or checked the schedule one last time, I would’ve been in a panel discussion instead of the Paper Drop. If I hadn’t decided to look around, or if I had left the room 30 seconds earlier, I never would’ve seen him.
It’s almost enough to make you believe in fate.
Almost.
Either way, I’m ready to go home Sunday. This weather is nasty.
25 Feb 2001
This is your Captain speaking...
...just wanted to let you know we're screwed.
1pm (Central Time): Arrive at Midway Airport in Chicago for a 2:10pm departure for a 1 hour, 17 minute flight to Washington DC Reagan National Airport, with scheduled arrival at 5:00pm Eastern time.
1:45pm: board plane.
2:30pm: Captain reports they've finished their paperwork, prepared cabin for departure.
2:32pm: Captain reports that air traffic control has stopped all flights headed for DC National from taking off because of low clouds at National. Expected delay of 1 hour, but the Captain thinks we'll get off the ground sooner.
3:32pm: we continue to wait, in the plane, on the ground.
3:45pm: Captain reports flights have resumed for DC National, but the air traffic system is backed up, so we have to wait. Flight attendants serve orange juice and Coke (not mixed together).
4:00pm: Captain reports we have clearance, Clarence (roger Roger, what's out vector, Victor?). Flight attendants collect all remaining cups, and seats and tray tables go upright again.
4:10pm: we get off the ground. Flight attendants serve drinks (not free -- they're smarter than that)
5:45pm (Eastern Time): Captain reports that DC National is having major problems and we will hold for a while so they can decide whether we go to National or divert to Dulles. He bets we divert to Dulles. We begin to make big slow circles as the sun goes down. Poetic, in a way.
6:10pm: Captain reports we are headed for Dulles. We already assumed that.
6:45pm: enroute to Dulles Airport, I notice a helluva lot of other planes headed the same way. Realize that all the flights headed to National are now coming to Dulles. It's a race to see who gets there first.
7:00pm: we land at Dulles. Taxi for 15 minutes to a large open area far from any gates. Captain reports that no one knows yet how we are getting to National Airport. I figure I will simply take the shuttle bus to the Metro and jump on the train rather than going all the way to National, and THEN taking the Metro home.
7:05pm: it begins to dawn on some passengers that the airline does not normally fly to Dulles, so there is no staff here to meet us and make arrangements.
7:06pm: begin to notice all the other planes parking behind us.
7:07pm: begin to notice there are no steps for getting out of the plane.
7:08pm: see aircraft from airlines that fly only to Baltimore-Washington International Airport. Realize that BWI is also closed, and THEIR traffic is diverting here as well.
7:20pm: Captain reports that the buses bringing the Chicago-bound passengers from National Airport will be used to cart this crowd back over there. Still no steps.
7:40pm: Scurvy breaks out. I eat a lemon.
7:45pm: Captain reports a "people-mover" is coming to take passengers off plane. I realize they only hold about 100 people, whereas there are 200 on board. I choose not to say anything.
8:00pm: the first "people mover" arrives and Captain reports it only holds about 100. A second is right behind it.
8:15pm: I arrive at the terminal. Begin calling friends to determine if anyone has shown up at my place for Sunday night TV. I finally reach Arlington Michael. He offers to come pick me up. I tell him he can have my body.
8:40pm: still no sign of our luggage.
8:45pm: Airport Police arrive and quell an impending riot. They report that there is no one to take our luggage off the plane, but they are working something out with a private company to take care of the plane. And the buses came with the Chicago-bound passengers, but did not stay to take the new arrivals back to National. Oops.
8:56pm: River leaves a message on my cell phone. He is bar-hopping with a friend, and drunk off his ass.
9:00pm: Michael arrives just as parents begin eating their young. Our bags begin to arrive.
9:20pm: My bag finally shows up. We depart.
10:05pm: we arrive at my place in time for most of Queer As Folk. I have 8 phone messages since 2pm today. 2 are from Tracy; he had gone to National to pick me up. Damn. THAT'S incredibly sweet, so naturally, my plane didn't go there. 4 hours later, still not having heard from me, he calls again, worried. I call later and tell him what happened.
11:30pm: Pizza arrives. First thing I've eaten since a cinammon roll 12 hours ago. Pizza Hut Meat Lover's. Yum.
11:40pm: talk to Adrian. getting sleepy. Time for bed. After a journal entry.
But hey...we made it home safe. That's all that metters.
26 Feb 2001
Lazy Monday
Lazy, lazy day. Actually, lazy, lazy Bill.
I think I was still kinda wiped from yesterday's travel adventures. No big deal, though, as I got a lot of work done on the plane. I'm caught up on my reading for the classes I missed last week (which were cancelled anyway by the astounding 3-inch-snow-storm) and I've got most of this week's done. I have to put together a paper proposal for Wednesday's class, and work on a new outline for my Ethics paper (since I got the "interesting, but what does this have to do with ethics?" comment on my first attempt). My experiences at the conference last week gave me great ideas for a couple papers that will contribute later to my dissertation.
Talked to Tracy and Adrian today, haven't been able to reach Andy or River. Sounds like everyone had a fun weekend without me, though, which isn't supposed to happen!
I finished up the redesign on the front page of my website today. Everyone should click on the banner below and check it out!!! OK, it's just one page, there'll be some more redesign on the rest of the site. But that probably won't happen until I have a paper due in 72 hours and am looking for a distraction. =)
Oh, and the cable people apparently called twice while I was gone. No message, just a Caller ID indication. But my box still isn't working. Damn them anyway.
I'm off to pick up Adrian at work and go to Cafe Asia. I am jonesin' for some sushi. (is that proper English? I doubt it.)
28 Feb 2001
Chu Hoi
Chu hoi is what I said last night as I tried to update my journal. I am finally realizing that my ISP is going to go down on me (and not in the fun way, either) every night around midnight. Maybe they're doing maintenance. Maybe everybody in the DC area is trying to logon then, thinking no one else is. Maybe the whole world goes into suspended animation except me (a la X-Files, or maybe a bad episode of Three's Company) and so I can't get onto the Web. Or maybe, just maybe, it's somebody's way of telling me to go to bed sooner.
Incidentally, chu hoi is Vietnamese for I surrender. I picked it up from my dad. It's the only Vietnamese I know. Well, actually, I also know the name of a decent Vietnamese beer. But so far, that's it. So it's time to learn something new. Last night at the Java Shack I had a really good talk with Kenneth (we pretty much had the place to ourselves for an hour) and he explained some things about the Vietnamese language to me. He tried to teach me a couple phrases, but the accents and inflections are very important, and I wasn't getting them quite right, so he may be too frustrated to teach me any more. =) But I want to at least learn some phrases. And the other day, I came across a book, Conversational Thai in Seven Days. I may give that a try.
Why the interest in Asian languages? Well, primarily, because in the last week I've been with people who suddenly break into Laotian, Vietnamese, and Thai, and in addition to finding a second language very erotic (especially the way an Asian language flows, compared to the rougher tones of a European language) I have realized that I've spent a lot of time in the last 35 years looking at European cultures, but learning little about Asian cultures. I've never been to Asia, and until moving here, didn't really have that many friends who'd been born in Asia and emigrated here. But DC has a large Asian population (and Arlington has a big Southeast Asian influence) and I see this as an opportunity to learn about something new. Well, new to me, anyway.
I'm pretty much caught up on schoolwork following my Chicago experience. All in all, the Chicago trip was okay, but not great. It was useful professionally, but when I travel on business I generally try to spend more time getting to know the city, too. This time, between work, the weather, and the need to meet up with (straight) colleagues from across the country, I didn't really have the chance to explore. But that's OK.
'Cuz I'm leaving for London in two days. =)
